Scenes from a Kosher Restaurant

Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, Moma Rock picked the topic: Imagine you are a food critic. Which restaurant would you critique? What food would you be served, and how would you describe it in your critique?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:

Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

A bottle of Herzog, a bottle of Carmel....

Seriously, I have never thought to critique food before. I have somewhat simple tastes and am a picky eater otherwise. Still, if I had to critique a restaurant, I'd find the most expensive and luxurious Kosher steak establishment in the US and get paid to eat there. I know that NYC has a bunch of those. I'd of course want a prime rib. And some garlic mashed potatoes. I'd want the Wildfire experience without actually eating at Wildfire. (Prior to eating only Kosher meat, I loved the prime rib at Wildfire, in Chicago. I can recreate their mashed potatoes, but their steak is really something else.) I'd start with a salad made to my specifications, which isn't much. I like leafy green lettuce with some cucumbers and carrots. A side of Thousand Island dressing in a cold salad dressing "boat" (like a gravy boat, but with salad dressing) would accompany it. I'd also want some of the restaurant's best bread and margarine that melted upon contact with it.

Next would come the soup. I'm a big French onion soup fan. Seeing that this is a Kosher meat restaurant, it would have non-dairy cheese, but if the Kosher Subway can use it, then so can this place.

I’d also want an appetizer, just so I can try a variety of items instead of skipping from soup to the meal. I think I would choose fried zucchini. I am a zucchini fan but only when it’s cooked. I’m sure this restaurant in my mind would serve delicious fried zucchini.

Onto the main course. (I couldn’t wait any longer.) As I said before, I would order the prime rib, medium well. It would come with its own au jus. There would be a side of mashed potatoes and a side of steamed veggies (green beans, cauliflower, carrots, onions, etc.) Everything would just be perfect. The meat would cut easily and not be too chewy or too soft. Just right… It would be flavorful, as well, each bite tantalizing the tongue. The potatoes would be like the ones from Wildfire, if not better. And the vegetables would be really good too. I don’t know how to judge vegetables, but as long as they taste good and aren’t too soggy, I’m happy.

Finally, the dessert would come. I would get a slice of their best chocolate cake. (I was thinking back to the days of chocolate cake from Portillo’s and that’s what I would imagine it to be like, only pareve.) The frosting would be just the right amount to blend with the rich and succulent taste of the chocolate and the softness of the cake as it melts in my mouth.

I’d top off the evening with a blended alcoholic beverage. I’m a big fan of chocolate martinis, but I’d want mint in it for more variety. It would be just the right amount of alcohol to make me feel all right with the world, but not tipsy. It wouldn’t overpower the blend of chocolate and mint either.

If this meal is everything I imagined it to be here, it would get a rave review and I’d definitely be back to try other combos. They’d all be on the house since I’m such a good food reviewer and all…

Now I’m hungry!