As long as you flush....

Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about two years, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, I chose the topic: Share your thoughts on the transgender bathroom issue.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I chose this topic because it’s something that I’ve been talking about with everyone in our group. I’ve shared articles and memes about it with them, and they’ve shared some with me as well. It’s a pressing and controversial topic in this day and age. I have so many thoughts about it that just keep swimming around in my head. I thought that getting them out on screen would be the best way to think them through more clearly.

First of all, I am all for people using the bathroom of the gender they identify with. If you want to unfriend me because of this, be my guest. This is just the base root of the entire issue. Maybe since I am a woman and we have stalls in our bathroom, I’m not worried about what I might or might not see when someone uses the toilet. I am not immature enough to go peeping under stalls, looking through the cracks between the doors, or even standing on the toilet to look over a stall. I’m hoping any other woman (regardless of if they were born one or transitioned to one) would also possess enough maturity to leave people pee in peace.

Now that this is out of the way, here are some other observations I’ve made just from what has been online and what I’m thinking in general.

*Gender transitioning has been around for a long time, but only more recently has become newsworthy. Whether it was Caitlyn Jenner or some characters from Glee or Orange is the New Black (where the role is also played by a man who became a woman), more people are becoming open about their gender identity and transition. Even kids are doing it. (Jazz Jennings, for example.) There are books about people who are opening up about their transitions, as well. I heard about one involving twins where one of the guys became a girl (Becoming Nicole...the girl looks like Tatiana Maslany). There's also a fictional YA novel called George, that I've been wanting to read. Back in the 80s and 90s, I’m sure people were transitioning but staying in the dark. Surprisingly, it seems to be more of an accepted way of life, so why is it such an issue when it comes to using the bathroom?

*I’ve seen the bathroom issue turned on its toes, showing women in the men’s bathroom, saying how that they are forced to be in there because they were born male. Same goes with men being in the women’s room because they were born female. How much more awkward is this than someone who is in the bathroom of the gender they currently identify as?!? If you changed genders and went through the whole process, I should not be able to identify you as the gender you were born as. I’d feel more uncomfortable to see Chaz Bono in the women’s bathroom than I would to see Laverne Cox in there.

Should he be in the ladies' room
since he was born female?

*In regards to the Target issue, are one million people boycotting going to make a real difference in the grand scheme of things? Less time for me to wait in line, perhaps? I think my local Target was anticipating less customers because barely any registers were open on a Sunday afternoon and the lines were crazy as a result. In any case, Target should have more security coverage if they’re worried that allowing people to use the bathrooms of the gender they identify with is going to open things up to men pretending to be women to go in and molest or rape girls. If parents are that worried about their daughters, they should go in the bathrooms with them. They are public bathrooms, so it’s not like a lot can go on if people are around watching. I’m really not worried about predators at Target vs. a less public location where someone’s screams wouldn’t be heard.

*Having said the above, I’m more cautious when I go to the Mikvah than when I go to a public bathroom. That is due to a situation that happened nearby involving a Rabbi hiding video recording equipment in his shul’s Mikvah bathrooms, where women were taking off their clothes and bathing and showering without knowing about this extra presence in the room, until his scheme was exposed (pardon the pun) a year and a half ago. I’m more worried about higher religious powers seeing me in the Mikvah bathroom than I am about men dressed as women going into public bathrooms. And for the record, I saw Spotlight recently and that was a true story about male priests molesting BOYS. So girls/women are not the only victims in these types of situations.

*As it may have been noted already, people have been using the bathroom of the gender they identify with for ages before this became an issue. If you didn’t know that someone had transitioned, it wouldn’t have bothered you to know they were in the stall next to you. It’s like the glass shattered all of a sudden (think of the “Spoilers” episode of How I Met Your Mother) and suddenly people are freaked out about something that isn’t even an issue. And how often has a man pretending to be a woman gone into a bathroom to rape or molest someone? I’m sure it could happen, but it seems like bringing the issue of gender identity and proper bathroom assignments to light has opened up this issue too. I am wondering if some men are thinking “Gee, I hadn’t thought before to dress like a woman to go into the ladie’s room so I can rape and molest someone, but now that people who were born as a man and transitioned into a realistic looking woman can go into the ladies' room, I have free reign!” Also, some men don't even LIKE being in the ladies' room.

*As for another thing, straight people have been sharing bathrooms with people who are LBTQ for a long time and no one has thought about it twice. Why is it any different for a woman who is a lesbian to use the woman’s room than it is for a man who now identifies as a woman? Same with a gay man vs. someone born a woman who now identifies as a man? Should lesbians use the men’s room and gay men use the women’s room, even if they are the gender they were born as? Because that’s the direction I see this issue spiraling towards in the future if people don’t get over their nonsensical logic. In the meantime, I'm hoping North Carolina gets their act together!

*How about mixed gender bathrooms for all to even out the playing field? They did it on Ally McBeal and no one thought it was strange or awkward. Or just single bathrooms at all locations to make things less awkward? Sure, the lines would be longer for the latter, but everyone could pee without worrying they were being spied upon or about to be molested. They could do an outhouse approach to have a lineup of several single bathrooms in one area so there wasn’t TOO long of a wait. (Especially for women.) Or how about changing the stalls so that they’re impossible to look through at any angle. They’d all be their own little rooms so that people had as much privacy as possible. In men’s rooms, they could eliminate urinals altogether and just have stalls, again with maximum privacy. Who needs urinals anyway? No one has urinals in their homes and men still go to the bathroom by just using the toilet. This would also eliminate the urinal rule awkwardness (about how much space there should be between the men standing there).

Overall, this issue has more gray area than a Jodi Picoult novel. On one side, I am all for people using the bathroom of the gender they identify with. On the other side, I can understand why people would be worried that it allows people who are not legitimately transitioning to use the bathroom of the opposite gender for perverted reasons. However, I feel that the benefits of the former outweigh the possible latter situation happening. I think it’s important for places to be prepared if they are going to be open to letting people use the bathroom of their current gender. I don’t think people need to be singled out, but I think some security measures should be in place. “See something, say something,” for starters. Having security guards near the bathrooms to show they mean business. And while I wouldn’t have video cameras directed at the stalls, having them by the washing area and entrance of the bathroom to identify anyone violating the new bathroom policies would be helpful, as well.

Honestly, as long as everyone respects each other's privacy and flushes when they're done, I don't care who is in the same public bathroom as I am. Not flushing is a pet peeve of mine. I hate walking into a stall and seeing anything other than water in the toilet. I don't care if someone was once a man and now identifies as a woman....they just better flush!

This is how the toilet should look when you're done!