Still hurting...

(To the tune of "Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years)
The election is over, voting is done.
Our candidate should have totally won.
We're now being told that it's time to move on.
But we're still hurting.

I've been mulling over my post-election feelings and trying to put things in perspective. There is still a lot to process. Instead of attacking his supporters, I asked them why they made the choice they did, and also asked them to not attack her in their responses. Some people can't seem to figure out why they voted for him other than to keep her from winning. Where have I heard that before?

Aaron Burr:
"How does Hamilton
An arrogant
Immigrant, orphan
Bastard, whore-son
Somehow endorse Thomas Jefferson, his enemy
A man he’s despised since the beginning
Just to keep me from winning?"
"Your Obedient Servant," Hamilton

Some people did not like either candidate, but still seemed to think that he was the "lesser of two evils." Somehow inciting hatred and planning to take away civil rights is less evil than sending non-threatening e-mails from a private server. *Rolling eyes*

In any case, I do respect those who voted for him because of some valid reasons they offered that have nothing to do with his behavior and words over the past year or to go against her for spite. They voted for him because they believe he can HELP them. I still have a hard time digesting all this, but I respect their reasons and don't count them amongst the people who voted for all the wrong reasons.

To his supporters: "If you'd like to help mend the divide, here are some things you can do to help: Be a vocal ally to your LGBT+ neighbors and friends. Reach out to your Hispanic neighbor, your Black neighbor, your Muslim neighbor and let them know they have nothing to fear from you - that you understand that they are equal to you in worth no matter what our President-Elect has said and what hurtful things people are doing right now in cities and towns across America in reaction to this election. If you aren't willing to do this, then you validate our fears." (This was taken from a friend's Facebook timeline and it is too perfect not to share.)

"The sun comes up and the world still spins."
-"What'd I Miss?," Hamilton

This line has been going through my head a lot. Time hasn't stopped since the election closed. We still have to go to bed every night and wake up every day. We have to soon face a new America with a different kind of President. Do you know how badly I want to act like a three year-old whose mommy is dropping them off at preschool and just cling to the almost-former President's leg and cry?

Are we ready to face what is ahead of us? Given how much hatred and violence has already occurred in the past couple of days, I doubt it. Either that, or we have a long way to go. I also am thinking of Dory's famous quote, "just keep swimming," in times like this. It's not going to make things easier just yet, and we probably have some heavier tides to swim through, but we have to stay strong and stand up for what we believe in, now more than ever!

However, that is not so easy to do with with half the country declaring "not our president," which will probably lead to "onarchy...how you say...anarchy?" I can relate to the level of fear and distress, but don't feel ranting is going to change the situation. I know a lot of us are traumatized by this election and outcome. I have definitely been feeling emotionally out-of-sorts. Trying to go on with my daily life, make sure the kids feel safe, not get too riled up by super upsetting posts on Facebook and Twitter, etc. (My best friend warned me not to look at the tweets that went up and I haven't even checked them out of morbid curiosity.) I know this feels like a death and we have to go through the stages of grief. However, we have to pick up the pieces and make things good again. Getting into fights with people on social media isn't the solution. And that goes for everyone who gloats about their candidate winning and still says mean things about the candidate who lost (or her supporters).

All I know is that unless he does something as bad as (or worse than) Watergate and gets himself impeached, or the Electoral College is overthrown and she is sworn in instead (a girl can dream!), we're stuck. I do feel like gagging when I have to say the word President before his name. It seems like such a joke! I don't trust him and don't respect him right now. I know we're told we need to respect our President, but he needs to undo a lot of the damage he's created before I can even try to trust, respect, or even forgive him. There are times when I think we can survive this and then I see something that completely raises my hackles and makes me anxious all over again.

I think of a lot of situations in music and recently had a Mary Poppins classic in my head, which I feel is so fitting for this new reality. "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." Right now, we're forced to take this 70 year-old orange medicine, which is bound to taste "nasty" and not do what it's intended to right away. However, if we are kind to others and exemplify goodness along the way, we can take down this "medicine" so that we can still come out healthy and strong when the next election rolls around.

When I went to my older son's parent-teacher conference today, his teacher told me how he is friendly to and supportive of every kid in his class, whether he likes them or not. He takes the time to listen to their ideas and encourages them to speak up, be creative, etc. I was thinking that he'd make a great President someday. (Although I don't know that I'd want him to go through so much stress and scrutiny!) Speaking of which, I did tell the kids about the outcome of the election and they were upset about it. I then explained that they should continue to treat people with kindness, no matter what examples are out there to do otherwise. I'm glad my older son can be a good role model, no matter what.

So...
Am I pretending this is not happening? No. Head and feet are well above the sand.
Did I vote for him? NO! #ImWithHer
Am I going to cause a riot over what happened? No.
Am I going to attack my friends and colleagues who voted differently? No, but I would appreciate them having the same respect for me.
Am I going to share articles and other thoughts I agree with, as well as petitions, ways to help our country, etc. on social media? You bet I am!
Do I support my friends and loved ones who are hurting the most and will be affected by this Presidency? Definitely. Without a doubt!
Am I amongst the vulnerable population? If being Jewish and female counts, then yes.
Am I leaving the country? While we have family and friends in Canada, the prospect of changing our lives so drastically is unrealistic. If we needed to escape in a rush, G-d forbid, we do have passports. In any case, many people have suggested that leaving the country would be a bad idea and would not be showing support for the people who need it most. And although I don't like that the President will live only 40 minutes away, I do like my home, friends, job, etc.

Another important thing to realize is that she won the popular vote (even if by a narrow margin). It gives me hope that we can have another woman candidate run for President in the future. Someone suggested the almost-former First Lady. That would be amazing! (Maybe down the road, we'll have TWO women candidates up for the role.)

I feel like a lot of what I'm thinking has been said already (sometimes even with more vitriol and anguish). This country is definitely hurting right now. Split down the middle. We're going to need some major Tikkun Olam to get back into the shape we were in prior to this election. I'm not denying that we haven't always had problems of some degree or another, but this election was the most stressful and most devastating to our country.

I'm ultimately hoping that this is similar to the story my brother-in-law tells at Hanukkah about the man who is walking with a strange limp and another man who comes up to him and breaks his leg to save it from needing amputation, citing that he is a surgeon and will fix it for free. Only by breaking the leg will he be able to make the necessary repair, as the limp was indicative of a rare disease. The story was compared to how Hashem put us at war (during the time when Hanukkah came about) when he saw we were trying to assimilate. Only by breaking us could he make us stronger in our Judaism. I feel like the same is happening for our country. There is a higher power seeing that people are still not treating each other well. Maybe they're weeding out the "bad guys" for another Noah's Ark. I'm just hoping that good will "rise up" against evil in as many ways as possible so that the country can be fixed again.