Remember the blog project I did in 2010 with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!
This week, Moma Rock picked the topic: We've all heard the old adage, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." How, and in what areas, do you feel men and women differ?
Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Mom of Many
I felt like I could go a zillion directions with this topic (even though, as my husband always says, zillion is not a real number). Leave it to Moma Rock to require me to actually think this week. The travesty! :)
At first, I looked at my relationship with my husband. We're alike more often than we're different. We have the same sense of humor and want the same things for our relationship and our children. We tease each other and know how to call each other on BS. However, when he gets sick, he turns into a giant baby and when I get sick, I manage to drag myself to work anyway. I think all men are babies when they get sick though. Of course, they don't get to carry babies for nine months and deal with morning sickness and labor pains. So I think that makes us naturally tougher. I know my husband was impressed at how silently I gave birth to our daughter, like I was a Scientologist or something. We have different ways of entertaining ourselves too. My way is to read or blog (usually about reading). His way is to watch action flicks and play video games. Trying to get him to read is a major accomplishment on my end! I've only been able to get him to read TWO books in TEN years. I don't know that many straight guys who like to read anyway. We like most of the same shows, but he would NEVER watch "90210" or "Smash." I'm fine with that. I don't like certain shows or movies that he watches anyway. The final thing I want to address in this section is the way we handle parenting. More often than not, I am the "bad cop." I'm the one who gets to lay down the law. He's the easygoing one who makes the kids laugh. However, he WILL put his foot down if they do something bad on his watch. He's not a complete softie.
Next, I looked at differences between men and women in the media. I've noticed a lot these days that women seem to be the ones cheating on their significant others and sleeping around. I think the only exception is Barney on "How I Met Your Mother." :) In any case, this seems very prevalent in the books I read and TV shows I watch. And men seem to be the ones taking on the roles that women once occupied. They seem more needy and they analyze everything about their dates. I don't know when this switch happened though. It doesn't seem to mirror real life, from what I've seen and heard. The only case of a guy actually acting like a typical "guy" that I've seen as of recently is in the novel "Bond Girl," by Erin Duffy. There's a romantic interest for the main character but he doesn't seem to know how to pick up a phone or return her calls. Typical dating games, really.
So going to real life...I hear about guys my friends like and how they seem to be playing those same immature games that were outlined in "The Rules." The classic is not calling a girl for three days or not even responding to a girl's calls or e-mails. We're in a new decade now, so I think "The Rules" need to be tossed by the wayside. If they keep up these rules, the girls who like them will move on without them and the guys will have missed out on their chance at true happiness. I think women these days are more independent and self-sufficient than they were in the 1950's, but I don't see why that should scare off a guy. They should be glad that the girl is not all clingy and not keep them guessing. I know that if my husband had pulled any of those games on me when we were dating, he wouldn't be my husband right now.
Finally, to add a Jewish aspect to this, I've read about the expectations placed on a girl in order to be matched in a shidduch (paired with a potential husband). They're expected to look a certain way and sometimes that means getting plastic surgery. The same expectations are not placed on men. I thought shidduchs were about compatibility in terms of personality, but apparently there is much more to it. Someone was telling me about a single man in his late 30's who was looking for a shidduch. However, his criteria was for women younger than 30. I don't think he's in a position to ask for such a requirement. Maybe I don't know enough about making shidduchs, as I am not a professional shadchen, but I do think it should be more about compatibility than about looks and/or money.
I've probably gone off on some tangents here but it's been a crazy busy week and I can't think straight! What you see is what you get this week.