Tribute to my BFF on her (almost) birthday

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for over a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Froggie picked the topic:  We're going freestyle. Everyone gets to choose what they want to write about. 

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock


I warned Froggie that picking a topic like this would be dangerous, given how much I love to write and tend to ramble on and on....

I have to "out" Froggie a bit today, since it's the eve of her birthday and when we do Jewish holidays, we always start the night before. So tonight will be Erev Froggie's birthday! I've decided to dedicate this post to her as she is my BFF, after all. :)

We met over 25 years ago at Banner Day Camp. We were in the same group since they were separated by grades. Since she and I were both going into sixth grade, we were placed together. There were a couple of sixth grade girl's groups, so we got lucky. We didn't really talk right away other than maybe to exchange the usual pleasantries. One day, however, she approached me to ask about what it was like to have braces. After the ice was broken, we got started talking and couldn't stop. I invited her to my birthday party that summer and she got me the soundtrack to Beverly Hills Cop 2 because it had "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael and that was such a taboo (meaning "funny" to sixth grade girls) song at the time.

When camp ended, we exchanged addresses and sent each other letters. For some reason, neither of us thought to pick up the phone until sometime that winter. Then we made plans to meet up at Deerbrook mall (I don't even know if that's even a valid mall anymore) and hang out for a while. I remember buying a Belinda Carlisle record at Flip Side that day. After that, we'd meet up on Saturdays when her mom got her hair done at a salon in Buffalo Grove. We'd get lunch at Wiener Take All and walk around the shops nearby. Sometimes we'd do sleepovers at each other's houses. She really saved my sanity in sixth grade, when I was dealing with bullies and just hating junior high. (I didn't even like the "friends" I had there.)

The summer between sixth and seventh grade, we went to an overnight theater camp. However, we weren't big fans of the girls in our bunk. At least we had each other. Needless to say, neither of us went back the following year. I went to her Bat Mitzvah that winter (and she went to mine the following summer). We still had our weekend get togethers, as usual. Our parents became friends during all this time, as well. Unfortunately, her father passed away a few months shy of her 14th birthday. I went to his funeral and spent time with her at his shiva. It was heartbreaking to see how sad she was when he was buried.

Every spring, there would be a carnival from Indian Princesses during a three-day weekend. She would stay over and we'd go to the carnival and then spend the next day at the mall. When I stayed at her place, we'd walk to Edens Plaza. I remember her mom taking us to Golf Mill one time to get us "Best Friend" necklaces that split apart, so that we'd each have a half. Then came New Kids on the Block. We were both big fans and listened to their music together all the time. We went to the concert in the winter of 1989, along with my sister. Her mom got to be the "lucky" chaperone.

While we always went to different schools, we still made time to get together, chat by phone, etc. High school was a blur, but I know we would still see each other whenever possible. Once we started driving, it was a lot easier to meet up. Then came moving day. My BFF moved to Texas the summer we graduated from high school. I was going to college in the fall anyway, so it's not like I would see her much. Upon starting school, we both got e-mail accounts and were soon writing all the time. I even went to visit her during spring break. She also came back to the Chicago suburbs for visits on occasion, as she still had family in the area. I visited her again in Texas one more time before she moved even further away....to Oregon. At that time, I had graduated college. We would call each other all the time to lament about our job searches. Eventually, I got to visit her in Oregon. She still teases me about my reaction to a sushi restaurant. We spent most of that visit just lazing around and watching TV, which is what I needed to some extent.

The following spring, she came back to Chicago for a visit and we had a blast hanging out. A group of us went to her favorite Chinese restaurant. She even got to meet "Will" and "Jack." She had such a good time that she decided to move back and was welcomed with open arms. We even worked together for a short period of time. We hung out a lot on weekends. I helped her look for an apartment and move in when she did (and luckily she found one not too far from me). I also went with her to adopt a cat. In turn, she introduced me to some friends who eventually led me to meet my husband and stood up in our wedding. I still love the speech she made at the reception. Around this same time, she would go to Makor Shabbat dinners with us in the city or she'd come to Shabbat dinners that we hosted at one of our apartments. I was thrilled that she got along with my husband, as that is so important to me.

The summer after my wedding, we had a falling out after a huge disagreement. (She did, however, come to my grandma's shiva.) The few months we weren't talking were really hard and I probably said things I regretted both to and about her. We eventually started talking again when we both had big things happening in our lives. We found out about them from other people though. I was actually upset that I didn't get to tell her about my pregnancy first. It was around the time I was starting to tell friends and she had to hear it from some gossipy people. However, it was an icebreaker and I'm thankful for that. I also didn't get to tell her directly when my son was born because a friend beat me to it. (I made sure she was the first friend to know about my other two pregnancies and births. Her reaction to my daughter's birth was priceless!) It took a while to break through the awkwardness, but we got back to a good place...perhaps an even better one. As I've learned from a story related to Hanukkah, sometimes things need to be broken in order to be better and stronger. We knew we couldn't be apart forever anyway.

However, shortly after my firstborn son turned one, my family (meaning my husband and son) and I moved to New Jersey. So Froggie and I were once again living in far apart states. I saw her whenever I was back in town for a visit. It took her five years to come visit us, but I'm glad she did when we were living in Maryland instead of in NJ. In the meantime, she also sent beautiful hand-knit blankets for my younger son and daughter after they were born. The kids know her as their "auntie" and my younger son even asks me to give him kisses like she does.

We've tried to introduce each other to our various passions. I took up knitting after she tried getting me to "drink the punch." I didn't stick with it for long though. She has yet to get me to do 5K runs, but she did teach me how to bake a pie from scratch when she came to visit. (Pie is the new cupcake after all!) I got her addicted to How I Met Your Mother and now we discuss it every week. More importantly, I got her more into reading. I know she's read books in the past, but not as much as she does now. It's fun when we can discuss books we've both read. It's like a whole new level of bonding. And then there's blogging. I'm glad she got me to participate in another blog project group after our first group went under.

There's a lot that has probably gone unsaid here, but if I said everything, I'd be here all day. All I know is that even though we are miles apart, it's like we're in the same room most of the time. We have lots of psychic moments too. It's hard to get us to stop talking once we get going. There's a book called MWF Seeking BFF, where a woman goes searching for a BFF in the town where she is currently living. She mentions having BFFs living far away but wants someone more local to connect with. However, I think that even if I have a lot of great friends where I currently live (as well as online), and have become really close with some women over the past few years, it's not the same. And even though the female friends I've connected with in high school, college, and  beyond are wonderful and I love them to pieces, we don't have the same history that I have with Froggie. She and I get each other's quirks and know each other's interests. We share a sense of humor and cry on each other's virtual shoulders. Not having her as part of my life is like not having one of my arms. She doesn't have any sisters, so I feel honored that she considers me to be a sister. I know we'll be close for a long time to come, as I always tell her about how we're going to be Golden Girls someday.

Join me in wishing Froggie a Happy Birthday and all the best in the year to come. She deserves it...especially for putting up with me all these years. ;)