Seeing "Orange"

There used to be a web series called Hollywood is like High School, but with Money. If I could give a similar name to my latest addiction, it would be Women's Prison is like High School, but with Lesbians. (Not that girls in high school couldn't be lesbians, but that's also like saying that people in high school couldn't be rich. See the correlation here?)  I'm talking about Orange is the New Black. I had heard a lot about the show over the summer, mostly in mixed reviews. Over the past few weeks, my husband and I started watching it and then realized we couldn't stop!

What's it about? Well, if you haven't heard something about it online by now, it's basically about a woman who goes to prison for carrying drugs internationally for her ex-lesbian lover from ten years prior. She's currently engaged to a "nice" Jewish boy (even though she's not Jewish herself) and starting a soap business with her pregnant best friend. Going to prison derails her plans for a bit, if you can imagine. When she goes there, she experiences a whole new world of how people treat each other. It's full of cliques, rivalries, and people you're not sure you can trust from one day to the next. There's even a corrupt security guard in their midst. In the meantime, she's trying to keep harmony in her relationships with her fiancee and her best friend while dealing with all the prison shenanigans. It's based on a book which is based on a true story. While we know that the author's name is Piper Kerman, she changes her last name to Chapman for the show. Throughout the series, we get glimpses into the lives of the inmates and why they went to prison.

After watching the first couple of episodes, I became addicted and couldn't get enough. For the next few weeks, I obsessed about what was happening on the show and what the stories were for each of the women at the prison. There was even some chick lit elements, mainly about Piper's relationships with her fiancee and best friend and some flashback scenes to her interactions with both. For those of you who haven't seen the show yet and might be interested, please look no further than this paragraph, as I'll be sharing spoilers below. (Unless you're the type who doesn't care if you know what happens throughout the show.) All I can tell you right now is go and see it. It's so, so, SO good! Have a marathon if you need to (you might want to spend all day watching it, it's that addictive). Then come back and read the rest and then we can discuss....

Note for guys: There are some interesting female-to-female intimacy scenes (to put it nicely). But the whole show is great so even if you're just watching for that reason, you'll still get addicted anyway!

It's not too late to turn back....many SPOILERS ahead...If you haven't seen the show, but plan to, please don't read any further.

I'm just going to share my thoughts on each of the characters and some parts of different episodes may be mentioned from time to time.

Piper Chapman: I found it amusing that she was this goody-two-shoes suburban-housewife-to-be and suddenly ended up in prison, where she had to make shower shoes until she could get money to purchase real ones. I felt bad for her sometimes when I felt people were treating her unfairly. Yet there were other times when I felt she just brought it on herself anyway. Like bailing on an important conference call and leaving her best friend in the lurch, just so she could chase a chicken. And how she was condescending to people. Even though drama seemed to follow her, she seemed to stir it up sometimes. While I thought the prank she played on Pennsatucky was warranted, given how horrible Pennsatucky was to begin with, she suddenly got all self-righteous and felt the need to reverse the damage. By doing so, she brought even more drama onto herself by trying to befriend Pennsatucky, only to be all condescending to her later. She really didn't play by the prison rules and managed to hurt a lot of people as a result. There are times you truly think Piper was wronged by someone but then you see how it looks from the other perspective. I hate how she hurt Alex so badly and then acted so condescending to her later. Alex was right to not put up with her BS anymore.

Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: She is someone you want in your corner. She's a good friend to those she cares about. I was genuinely worried for her when she got parole and had nowhere to go. I could understand why, in a Brooks from Shawshank Redemption way, she wanted to be back in prison. (Interesting that the actress who plays her has the last name of Brooks.)

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: A real piece of work. You DON'T want to get on her bad side. She is a mega-bully, and if she doesn't like you, she will destroy your property or threaten to kill you. It disgusts me that she acts like she's this servant of the Lord but she also goes around thinking it's okay to kill someone if they make her mad. Did I wish she'd stay locked up in psych? Totally! Am I glad for what Piper did to her in the finale? The vote is still out on that, but I don't blame Piper for that reaction.

Alex Vause: The show is set up initially to make us believe that Alex is this seductress who sucks Piper into her drug-cartel underworld and then names her for it 10 years later. Piper doesn't want us to like Alex. Yet, it's impossible to hate her. And eventually you might side with her against Piper. Laura Prepon plays this role to perfection and I love her chemistry with Natasha Lyonne's character, Nicky.

Natalie Figueroa: Worst prison manager (or whatever she's called) ever. She is so corrupt and also treats everyone like they're completely dispensable.

Sam Healy: I wanted to like him initially. He was nice to Piper in the beginning, even though I didn't get why he wouldn't help her in the whole "starving out" situation. (Unless he wanted her to figure out a solution for herself?) His background situation with his Russian wife who seems to only be with him for Green Card purposes is very interesting in itself. Anyway, any redeeming quality he had went down the toilet when he put Piper in SHU for dancing seductively and then told Larry what was clearly none of his business to say. And when he turned his back on a potential murder scene...that was the last straw!

Miss Claudette Pelage: While she may come off as hard-nosed and difficult to get along with at first, she has a soft side. I felt so bad for her after the radio interview and after finding out her appeal didn't go through. However, I never would have thought she possessed the rage to choke someone. I know she killed someone to get into prison, but I felt like she was doing it more out of protection and love.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov: While I initially wanted to hate Red for starving Piper out, I grew to like her. I love how she punched the mean lady's fake boob and managed to deflate it. I love how she took charge of things with the mafia guys. I also love how she has been like a mother to some of the girls in the prison. While she's no-nonsense, it's a tough love thing on her part. I really hate what Pornstache did to her and what that made her resort to doing.

Larry Bloom: The only thing I like about him is that he's played by Jason Biggs. Although it may have been wrong for Piper to sneak around with Alex behind his back, he had no right hurting the feelings of other inmates, even if just to get back at her. That was not cool. Also, given that he lied about Alex naming Piper in the first place (by saying she didn't do it after all), he only brought Piper closer with her. I just don't get why he was hanging out with Piper's brother so much if he was trying to ignore her. I love his mom though. She's so funny.

Nicky Nichols: It's so nice to see Natasha Lyonne again. She's really talented. I like her in the role of Nicky. She has this tough side, but is also a genuine friend to those who need her. I wish they showed more of her story when it was her week to have her background featured. And as I mentioned before, I love her and Alex together.

George 'Pornstache' Mendez: He's a creepy and disgusting excuse for a human being, and that's just me being nice. I so wish he got in trouble for the drugs and Tricia's demise. Even though the reason he got suspended was totally warranted, being that he was set up made it less of an offense than the despicable stuff he carried out all by himself. The worst was when he pissed in the vat of gravy. If I had been Red, there would have been a Lorena Bobbit moment happening there.

Dayanara Diaz: She's definitely my favorite on the show. Anyone who is willing to take one for the team in order to get Pornstache in trouble is awesome in my book. I love watching her relationship with Bennett from week to week. I also love how she acted as mother to her siblings since her own mother was so selfish. She possesses this quiet beauty that is incredible to watch.

Susan Fischer: I love that she went from being a grocery store clerk to being a security guard. I also love that even when she tries to act mean, she still comes off as nice. I could totally see myself becoming friends with her. I just didn't like that she gave Caputo the impression that she liked him, only to introduce him to her boyfriend.

Big Boo: Broadway actress Lea DeLaria plays this role to perfection. I love that she has a dog called "Little Boo." I'd like to know more of her story.

Poussey Washington: She's also very likable. Her relationship (friendship or possibly more) with Taystee is interesting to watch. I also want to know more of her story.

John Bennett: Is it bad that I got all worried when he was mad at Daya and then felt better when he started to warm to her again? He's also adorable, so that adds to the "I want him to be with Daya all the time" factor.

Lorna Morello: Honestly, her voice grated on me for a while. Then I got used to it and enjoyed watching her for her quirkiness. She's also nice to the other women in the prison and I definitely need to know more of her story, especially with this engagement that people think isn't for real.

Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Even though she did some less-than-savory things, like pissing on the floor of Piper and Claudette's room, there's just something so likable about her. It's not just her voice (given that Uzo Aduba is a stage actress, her voice is fantastic), but she also tells it like it is. I love that she told Piper that she was mean, in a way that was supposed to be nice but came off as harsh in its own way. Her story definitely needs to be told. Especially now that we've met her parents!

Yoga Jones: She reminds me of an aged and very anxious version of Ellen DeGeneres. Having said that, she's very likable. I feel bad for the reason she ended up in prison because she clearly made a mistake.

Janae Watson: Learning her story has made her even more interesting. She has this edge to her, but she's also nice once you get to know her.

Sophia Burset: I like that she brings the issues that come with being transgender into the prison setting. It's interesting to see how she transformed from a man and the effect it has had on her family and her well-being. Her interactions with her wife are genuine and realistic. I also love the connection she formed with Sister Ingalls.

Aleida Diaz: At first, I was really glad she ended up in prison because she was selfish and irresponsible. However, once Daya's secret came out, she has finally stepped up to the plate and is now acting like a real mother.

Polly Harper: Piper's best friend is another interesting character to watch. You can tell that she's trying to be supportive, but also becoming annoyed with who Piper has become since she started at Litchfield. The actress who plays her, Maria Dizzia, has this great look for someone I picture while reading chick lit novels. I actually have chosen her for a lead role in a great book I read recently. (That will be revealed later this year...)

Sister Ingalls: I like that she's open-minded and how she sees through some of the BS she has to deal with. I love when she called Sophia out on trying to get her hormone pills. That was classic. She is definitely patient and I'm VERY curious as to why she is in prison. I don't know that she's just there for religious support. (Correct me if I'm wrong...)

Tricia Miler: You could tell that she was sweet and well-meaning, even when she was trying to survive on the streets. What happened to her in prison was horrible and sad. I still hope Pornstache pays for that!

There you have it. If you've read this far and want to share your own thoughts on the characters or storylines, I'd love to hear them. Can't wait till season two begins this summer!