I realize that I talk about my girlfriends more than my male friends. I've decided to post this in response to my own realization. I'm also going to incorporate my male friends in "Friendship Friday" occasionally, so be on the lookout for those posts!
Monday, July 23, 2007
The Eleventy Foot Tall Freshman
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Friends
I had a weird dream last night. Actually, I had a few weird dreams, but this one stood out. I was having some sort of graduation party, even though it has been 8 years since I graduated from college. My friend J, from college was there. And then another version of him showed up later into the party. The first version of him was kind of quiet and didn't really respond much when I asked him questions about his life. The other was outgoing and wrote me this nice long message in the card he gave me. It was all meant to be humorous too. I couldn't figure out how two versions of the same person could be in the same room at one time. I thought it was someone completely different whom I was supposedly friends with in college.
In any case, it got me thinking about my friendship with J (from college). I met him when I was a junior and he was a freshman. He was 6'5", but said that people called him "The Eleventy Foot Tall Freshman". We actually met online through a Rocky Horror message board. He was asking if there was Rocky Horror at ISU and I had to break the bad news to him. Then he found a showing of it in Peoria, which was done sporadically throughout the year. So we drove down to Peoria a few weeks later to see it. I barely knew him at that time, and somehow trusted him to get me safely to Peoria and back.
There was never any romantic attraction between us. We were instant platonic friends. As platonic as a male and female can possibly get as friends. Well, there was the footsie incident, but that's because he was "Eleventy Feet Tall" and had nowhere to put his feet. I incorporated him into my circle of friends instantly. One night, a few of us were going back to the dorm building after Theater Ted. We all were talking. Well, J and I were talking because I could look at him without drooling. My friends called him a Greek Adonis and stared at him the way I do when I see celebrities I like. I just liked that he could help me get stuff from the top shelf of my closet and that he had access to a car. I'm such a nice friend, right? LOL! Seriously, we had a good, solid friendship. He was so unfazable that I would try to freak him out all the time. He always managed to keep a straight face and an even temper, no matter how crazy and goofy my friends and I got around him.
Whenever someone made fun of meeting people through the internet, he'd tell them that he met one of his good friends that way. (Me, of course.) It meant a lot that he would say that. He also had these catch phrases and told the same stories all the time. It was hard not to finish his stories for him, but it was endearing all the same.
We had a great friendship overall, and I still think about him from time to time. I wonder what side of the planet he fell off. I remember that he got married and had a baby a few years ago. That's all though. I try to contact him from time to time, but never hear back. It's unfortunate. I sometimes wonder if his wife doesn't like him having female friends, regardless of how platonic the friendship is or the fact that his female friend is also married with a child.
I've had other platonic male friendships that I miss too, and also contribute it to them being in a relationship with a jealous significant other. I still have some platonic male friendships that exist today. I wouldn't just write off a male friend because I got married. They are no threat to my marriage and I enjoy my friendships with them. (This includes my gay friends.) I don't go out and actually form new platonic male friendships, unless they're with husbands/boyfriends of my current or new female friends. Or if they became friends with my husband first. It's some weird system I have for myself. I just don't feel comfortable pursuing new platonic male friendships on my own, now that I am married. It's a choice I've made for myself that has nothing to do with my husband. I doubt he goes out and pursues platonic female friendships either. He's friends with my female friends and wives/girlfriends of his male friends. It's just how it works after a while.
I'm thankful for the platonic male friendships I've had in the past and ones I still have today. I enjoy having guy friends who are not biased or judgmental or trying to pursue something more than a friendship. I enjoy that they support my marriage and we can talk about fun and interesting things without there being any false pretenses. It's nice and simple. I miss the ones that have gone away and hope those guys are doing well in their lives and their relationships, wherever they are.
In the meantime, if any of my college friends know "The Eleventy Foot Tall Freshman" and still are in contact with him, let me know how he's doing or let him know that I miss him. Thanks!
Follow Up: I touched base with J online after I had my younger son. He also had a second child by then. We exchanged pictures. That's all though. I think I sent him something he'd enjoy a while back but I never received a reply.
I still am incapable of being friends with single guys unless they're friends with my husband first. It never works well otherwise, no matter how nice I might be. I usually let him take the lead on such matters. I think I only took the lead once but it was more to connect someone with my husband and then we all became friends (this was after we got married but prior to writing this entry). I'm now friends with that guy's girlfriend too.
These days, I still become friends with the wife first and if my husband and I mutually become friends with the husband, then I have no problem talking to them. I guess there are certain social patterns to ponder and this is one of them.
The only exception was when I wanted to talk to a guy friend of one of my girlfriends. They weren't together but she thought highly of him and I had no problem exchanging e-mails with him. Even then, I tried to connect him with my husband because they had some interests in common. Nothing ever came of that and I doubt we'll ever meet him in person since he's usually really busy, even when he's in my neck of the woods. I also don't have a problem reconnecting with guys I've known in the past, but it's usually easier if they're in a relationship.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Right here, right now
I usually post about things from the past, pop culture stuff or stories about my friends. I don't post much about what I'm doing in my daily life, other than maybe about my progress with FlyLady (on which I've slacked off) or knitting (on which I've also slacked off).
Where do I begin?
I could talk about Pesach first, I suppose. This year, it was hectic getting ready for Pesach, but once all was said and done, it was a pleasant experience. My mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law came for the first days and nights. We all went to our friends' house for the first seder. It was really nice and the food was delicious. My younger son had a throw-up incident (we think he has reflux), but the female host is a pediatrician so it didn't faze her much. I also enjoyed talking to the female host's older sister. She and I had a lot in common. My in-laws got to talk to the female host's parents and they seemed to enjoy themselves too. After the little ones went to sleep, my older son found the afikomen. It's funny to give "hot and cold" clues to a 4 year-old. They just don't get it. I remember trying it with my cousin at that age and she didn't get it either.
The rest of the Yom Tov meals were just for the 6 of us. My husband made some delicious dishes that didn't taste Pesach-like at all. I made some food from boxes and my mother-in-law put together some tasty treats too. The best dessert I made that week came from a box...chocolate chip cookies. They were so soft and flavorful. My in-laws also got these delicious almond cookies and macaroons from a local bakery.
The second night seder was a lot of fun. My husband planned an activity for the boys where Pharoah would "call" them and request that they build a pyramid. Then they got to play with blocks for a while. When we got to the plagues, my husband had a toy or activity for each plague. When it came to lice, he took straws and inspected everyone's hair, like the school nurses used to do.
For the first day of Chol Hamoed, the boys and I took a day trip to Lancaster, PA. My brother-in-law and his family were staying there for all of Pesach, as my sister-in-law's family lives there. We wanted to see them and meet the new baby. It was a beautiful day out, so the kids got to play outside a lot. And I got to enjoy my sister-in-law's mother's delicious matzah lasagna and matzah mac and cheese.
During the time of Chol Hamoed, we ate lots of matzah pizza, enjoyed a relaxing Shabbat with some friends, watched "The Blind Side" and went to see the cherry blossoms in DC. Then we were back to Yom Tov again. The first night, we hosted a guy who was new to the community and also single. We had lunch with friends on both days (The second day was a potluck meal.) Even with how nice our first Pesach in Maryland was, it was nice to get back to chometz and our regular activities. I did some shopping and watched "The Time Traveler's Wife," as well as caught up on "90210."
This past week, I went back to work. It was so nice to be back and get into my routine again. I have never been at a job where I could say I missed going to work. (It's like when I was on a short break from college and I missed being there while I was home.) I liked the people I worked for in NJ, but I worked from home, so it just meant I was at "the office" without anything to do for a week. Also, "Glee" came back last Tuesday and I got to watch it with my friend from last week's "Friendship Friday" post. :) I was excited to see Adam Lambert on "American Idol" too. He is still amazing! I am not as impressed with "American Idol" this year overall. While Crystal is great, no one really has put forth what Adam did last year. He set the bar too high, in my opinion. It's like when my sister and I saw "Grease" the day after we saw "Rent" (both were on stage). Or like finishing a really good novel and not knowing what to read next that won't take away from the feel of that novel. In any case, I feel like I'm starting to lose interest in "American Idol" this year. I am more interested in who gets sent home than in what they choose to sing. Yikes!
I finished "The Brightest Star in the Sky" (by Marian Keyes) and loved it! I'm now reading "True Colors" by Kristin Hannah and enjoying that, as well. It's hard to put down. At Shabbos lunch yesterday, I was talking to some friends who are also bookaholics and we thought it would be a good idea to have gatherings where people could just read and not feel bad about not talking to each other or not doing housework instead. Only true bookaholics would get how relaxing and enjoyable that would be.
I know I'll have more to talk about at my next "check-in," as some very exciting things are happening this week (one for sure, and one potentially). Stay tuned!
Where do I begin?
I could talk about Pesach first, I suppose. This year, it was hectic getting ready for Pesach, but once all was said and done, it was a pleasant experience. My mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law came for the first days and nights. We all went to our friends' house for the first seder. It was really nice and the food was delicious. My younger son had a throw-up incident (we think he has reflux), but the female host is a pediatrician so it didn't faze her much. I also enjoyed talking to the female host's older sister. She and I had a lot in common. My in-laws got to talk to the female host's parents and they seemed to enjoy themselves too. After the little ones went to sleep, my older son found the afikomen. It's funny to give "hot and cold" clues to a 4 year-old. They just don't get it. I remember trying it with my cousin at that age and she didn't get it either.
The rest of the Yom Tov meals were just for the 6 of us. My husband made some delicious dishes that didn't taste Pesach-like at all. I made some food from boxes and my mother-in-law put together some tasty treats too. The best dessert I made that week came from a box...chocolate chip cookies. They were so soft and flavorful. My in-laws also got these delicious almond cookies and macaroons from a local bakery.
The second night seder was a lot of fun. My husband planned an activity for the boys where Pharoah would "call" them and request that they build a pyramid. Then they got to play with blocks for a while. When we got to the plagues, my husband had a toy or activity for each plague. When it came to lice, he took straws and inspected everyone's hair, like the school nurses used to do.
For the first day of Chol Hamoed, the boys and I took a day trip to Lancaster, PA. My brother-in-law and his family were staying there for all of Pesach, as my sister-in-law's family lives there. We wanted to see them and meet the new baby. It was a beautiful day out, so the kids got to play outside a lot. And I got to enjoy my sister-in-law's mother's delicious matzah lasagna and matzah mac and cheese.
During the time of Chol Hamoed, we ate lots of matzah pizza, enjoyed a relaxing Shabbat with some friends, watched "The Blind Side" and went to see the cherry blossoms in DC. Then we were back to Yom Tov again. The first night, we hosted a guy who was new to the community and also single. We had lunch with friends on both days (The second day was a potluck meal.) Even with how nice our first Pesach in Maryland was, it was nice to get back to chometz and our regular activities. I did some shopping and watched "The Time Traveler's Wife," as well as caught up on "90210."
This past week, I went back to work. It was so nice to be back and get into my routine again. I have never been at a job where I could say I missed going to work. (It's like when I was on a short break from college and I missed being there while I was home.) I liked the people I worked for in NJ, but I worked from home, so it just meant I was at "the office" without anything to do for a week. Also, "Glee" came back last Tuesday and I got to watch it with my friend from last week's "Friendship Friday" post. :) I was excited to see Adam Lambert on "American Idol" too. He is still amazing! I am not as impressed with "American Idol" this year overall. While Crystal is great, no one really has put forth what Adam did last year. He set the bar too high, in my opinion. It's like when my sister and I saw "Grease" the day after we saw "Rent" (both were on stage). Or like finishing a really good novel and not knowing what to read next that won't take away from the feel of that novel. In any case, I feel like I'm starting to lose interest in "American Idol" this year. I am more interested in who gets sent home than in what they choose to sing. Yikes!
I finished "The Brightest Star in the Sky" (by Marian Keyes) and loved it! I'm now reading "True Colors" by Kristin Hannah and enjoying that, as well. It's hard to put down. At Shabbos lunch yesterday, I was talking to some friends who are also bookaholics and we thought it would be a good idea to have gatherings where people could just read and not feel bad about not talking to each other or not doing housework instead. Only true bookaholics would get how relaxing and enjoyable that would be.
I know I'll have more to talk about at my next "check-in," as some very exciting things are happening this week (one for sure, and one potentially). Stay tuned!
Friday, April 16, 2010
We'll always have "Glee"
For today's Friendship Friday post I’ve decided to shake things up a bit and talk about a relatively new friend.
I met S.S. online over the summer…well, sort of. I had posted to the listserv for our new town that we would be moving here soon and that we were in town for a weekend and needed to make arrangements for Shabbos lunch. Her husband sent me a very friendly reply welcoming us to the community. (He wasn’t able to have us over for lunch at that time, but it was nice that he reached out.) We e-mailed and wrote on each others’ Facebook walls for a while. I added S.S. as a friend because if her husband was this friendly, I assumed she would be, as well. We didn’t really talk much at first, but then “Glee” started up for the fall. She posted something about a character she liked and I wrote back about being a “Glee” fan. It was an instant bond from that point on. We e-mailed a lot and then I had her over for lunch during Chol Hamoed Sukkot. After that, we got together at our favorite pizza place and brought our husbands to meet each other. She would also come over to watch “Glee” whenever it was possible.
S.S. is 8 years younger than me. I like to tease her about how she makes me feel “ancient.” I do enjoy showing her movies that she was too young for when they originally came out, or ones she may not have heard of otherwise. And now that “Glee” is back, she knows she’s welcome to watch it at my place as often as she’s available. We also send each other everything we can find in relation to "Glee" (online videos, articles, etc.) She has a boy close in age to my younger son, but my older son also likes playing with him and treats him like a little brother too. We still get together at our favorite pizza place from time to time. (Who can resist those cheese fries?!?) She and her husband have been talking about making aliyah (moving to Israel). I know it’s something very special to do and it would be selfish for me to want her to stay. I’m just fortunate that we get to hang out a lot until that time. She has become a great friend and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her so far. I know that no matter when aliyah happens with their plans to move, she and I will always have “Glee.”
I met S.S. online over the summer…well, sort of. I had posted to the listserv for our new town that we would be moving here soon and that we were in town for a weekend and needed to make arrangements for Shabbos lunch. Her husband sent me a very friendly reply welcoming us to the community. (He wasn’t able to have us over for lunch at that time, but it was nice that he reached out.) We e-mailed and wrote on each others’ Facebook walls for a while. I added S.S. as a friend because if her husband was this friendly, I assumed she would be, as well. We didn’t really talk much at first, but then “Glee” started up for the fall. She posted something about a character she liked and I wrote back about being a “Glee” fan. It was an instant bond from that point on. We e-mailed a lot and then I had her over for lunch during Chol Hamoed Sukkot. After that, we got together at our favorite pizza place and brought our husbands to meet each other. She would also come over to watch “Glee” whenever it was possible.
S.S. is 8 years younger than me. I like to tease her about how she makes me feel “ancient.” I do enjoy showing her movies that she was too young for when they originally came out, or ones she may not have heard of otherwise. And now that “Glee” is back, she knows she’s welcome to watch it at my place as often as she’s available. We also send each other everything we can find in relation to "Glee" (online videos, articles, etc.) She has a boy close in age to my younger son, but my older son also likes playing with him and treats him like a little brother too. We still get together at our favorite pizza place from time to time. (Who can resist those cheese fries?!?) She and her husband have been talking about making aliyah (moving to Israel). I know it’s something very special to do and it would be selfish for me to want her to stay. I’m just fortunate that we get to hang out a lot until that time. She has become a great friend and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her so far. I know that no matter when aliyah happens with their plans to move, she and I will always have “Glee.”
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Popcorn, anyone?
I wanted to take this time to talk more in detail about two of my favorite movies. I usually let everyone know that they are my favorite movies, but I don't discuss why I truly love them so much.
“Where the Heart is”
I read “Where the Heart is” by Billie Letts in early 1999. It was a really good story and since I was obsessed with Wal-Mart, I enjoyed that it took place there. I loved how well-developed the characters were and how things came together. Then the movie came out in May, 2000. I rushed out with “Will” to go see it, as he was the one who recommended the book. I enjoyed it that time, but wasn’t in love with it yet. Then I watched it again when it came out on video in the fall. It was then that I fell in love with it. I found it used at a video store a few months later and bought it. (I later got it on DVD and gave the video to my cousin.) After that, I would watch it all the time and would show it to all my friends. I had one friend who I could gush to about how sweet Forney was and then we’d refer to my husband (then boyfriend) as my Forney. :) I love what the movie took from the book and even more what it changed. I loved the choices of actors and actresses for each role. Some I wouldn’t have placed originally, but they turned out to be perfect. I love the country music and how it moved the movie along. One of the most beautiful romantic songs is in that movie: “There You Are” by Martina McBride. I love that they kept it as taking place in a Wal-Mart. I love the emotions I feel every time I watch it, especially now that I’m a mom. (What mom doesn’t cry when Novalee says “How can you love someone so much you just met?”) Overall, it’s just a sweet and beautiful coming of age story. I haven’t watched it in a while, but I think it’s time for me to see it again. I’d love to show it to some friends who haven’t seen it yet, as I think they would love it too. I already know some friends who fell in love with it as much as I did. :)
“Sing”
I just watched “Sing” again for the first time in years and the feel of the movie came back to me like no time had been lost. I couldn’t stop grinning the whole time. When I first saw it in 1990, I knew I had to see it over and over again. It was the best movie to come along since “Dirty Dancing.” I had been reading the book that was based on the movie (not sure if it was the other way around, but they were a pretty close fit) and the movie happened to be on cable during that time. I tuned in just as this girl with a strong New York (more along the lines of Brooklyn) accent was singing “Like a Virgin” and it cracked me up. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from the movie after that. The next time it was on, I made sure to watch from the beginning. Then my sister got me the video for my birthday one year, so I could watch it as often as I wanted. In the meantime, I spent a Sunday afternoon hunting down the soundtrack. I still have both, on VHS and cassette respectively. When I first became addicted to the movie, a friend of mine sent me the sheet music for all the songs. I made some friends in high school who also liked “Sing” and I showed the sheet music to them. That won them over big time! For those of you who have never heard of “Sing,” it’s about an inner-city high school in Brooklyn that puts on an annual musical competition every year. There’s a new teacher in school who shows the tough guy in class (Dominic) that he can’t mess with her by putting him in charge of the senior class show. He’s paired up with a do-gooder (Hannah) whose mother thinks she can’t do anything right. In the meantime, the school is about to be closed and they have to fight to keep the show from going down with it. It’s such a good story and the music still gives me chills when I listen to it. It’s hard to not sing and dance along. I know some things may be seen as campy or cheesy, but if you’re a fan of “Glee,” I think you can handle it. It makes me think of the times I was participating in school shows and how everyone bonded together for the sake of showing a good performance. It was those times that it didn’t matter what ones’ status was in school. I even cried after some shows because I knew it was the last time I’d get to be a part of them. It really brings these words to light: “Years from now. Somewhere down the line. We’ll remember and we’ll all sing one more time.” I was in a different place in my life when I first saw this movie (an 8th grade geek) and now I’m a married mother of two and still can’t get enough of the story or the music.
“Where the Heart is”
I read “Where the Heart is” by Billie Letts in early 1999. It was a really good story and since I was obsessed with Wal-Mart, I enjoyed that it took place there. I loved how well-developed the characters were and how things came together. Then the movie came out in May, 2000. I rushed out with “Will” to go see it, as he was the one who recommended the book. I enjoyed it that time, but wasn’t in love with it yet. Then I watched it again when it came out on video in the fall. It was then that I fell in love with it. I found it used at a video store a few months later and bought it. (I later got it on DVD and gave the video to my cousin.) After that, I would watch it all the time and would show it to all my friends. I had one friend who I could gush to about how sweet Forney was and then we’d refer to my husband (then boyfriend) as my Forney. :) I love what the movie took from the book and even more what it changed. I loved the choices of actors and actresses for each role. Some I wouldn’t have placed originally, but they turned out to be perfect. I love the country music and how it moved the movie along. One of the most beautiful romantic songs is in that movie: “There You Are” by Martina McBride. I love that they kept it as taking place in a Wal-Mart. I love the emotions I feel every time I watch it, especially now that I’m a mom. (What mom doesn’t cry when Novalee says “How can you love someone so much you just met?”) Overall, it’s just a sweet and beautiful coming of age story. I haven’t watched it in a while, but I think it’s time for me to see it again. I’d love to show it to some friends who haven’t seen it yet, as I think they would love it too. I already know some friends who fell in love with it as much as I did. :)
“Sing”
I just watched “Sing” again for the first time in years and the feel of the movie came back to me like no time had been lost. I couldn’t stop grinning the whole time. When I first saw it in 1990, I knew I had to see it over and over again. It was the best movie to come along since “Dirty Dancing.” I had been reading the book that was based on the movie (not sure if it was the other way around, but they were a pretty close fit) and the movie happened to be on cable during that time. I tuned in just as this girl with a strong New York (more along the lines of Brooklyn) accent was singing “Like a Virgin” and it cracked me up. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from the movie after that. The next time it was on, I made sure to watch from the beginning. Then my sister got me the video for my birthday one year, so I could watch it as often as I wanted. In the meantime, I spent a Sunday afternoon hunting down the soundtrack. I still have both, on VHS and cassette respectively. When I first became addicted to the movie, a friend of mine sent me the sheet music for all the songs. I made some friends in high school who also liked “Sing” and I showed the sheet music to them. That won them over big time! For those of you who have never heard of “Sing,” it’s about an inner-city high school in Brooklyn that puts on an annual musical competition every year. There’s a new teacher in school who shows the tough guy in class (Dominic) that he can’t mess with her by putting him in charge of the senior class show. He’s paired up with a do-gooder (Hannah) whose mother thinks she can’t do anything right. In the meantime, the school is about to be closed and they have to fight to keep the show from going down with it. It’s such a good story and the music still gives me chills when I listen to it. It’s hard to not sing and dance along. I know some things may be seen as campy or cheesy, but if you’re a fan of “Glee,” I think you can handle it. It makes me think of the times I was participating in school shows and how everyone bonded together for the sake of showing a good performance. It was those times that it didn’t matter what ones’ status was in school. I even cried after some shows because I knew it was the last time I’d get to be a part of them. It really brings these words to light: “Years from now. Somewhere down the line. We’ll remember and we’ll all sing one more time.” I was in a different place in my life when I first saw this movie (an 8th grade geek) and now I’m a married mother of two and still can’t get enough of the story or the music.
Fall Back and Spring Forward
I have a few friends who knit and blog and we've decided to embark on a blog project that has nothing to do with knitting. We're going to take turns coming up with a topic every Thursday and we each have to blog about it by the end of that day and post links to each others' blogs so that people can see our different perspectives on the same topic.
Check out the backstory about how the project was conceived and how we all came together.
Here are the other blogs:
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Charmingly Random
Desperate Madness
This week's topic comes from Froggie: Write about your favorite season or time of year.
My favorite season is autumn, but my favorite time of year is the month of March.
To explain in more detail...I love the way autumn looks and feels. I love how beautiful the leaves are when they turn red, orange, yellow and brown. I love the piles of leaves that my kids can run through and crunch under their feet. I sometimes like to join them. I like how it means a new start...a new year of school and a new year on the Hebrew calendar. Sukkot takes place in the fall and I love being able to sit outside in the crisp air and enjoy a hot bowl of "Journey's End" soup. I love making campfires and eating s'mores. These days, the "campfire" is really my s'mores making set. :) I also love an excuse to wear sweaters but not need a coat just yet. I still have a thing for Halloween and autumn always represents that for me. I love all the pumpkins sitting out on peoples' front steps and the fact that canned pumpkin is in season to make lots of pies, cakes and soups. And call me crazy, but I love the smell of chimney smoke. It has such a cozy feel to it. I also enjoy taking trips to get pictures of the leaves. We missed out on doing that last year due to a lot of rain and a busy High Holiday season. In the past we would go to Starved Rock State Park when we lived in Illinois. We got some great pictures there and it was so beautiful to walk around in general. One year, we skipped out on Starved Rock to take a weekend trip through Door County, Wisconsin. The colors were beautiful out there too. There were fun festivals in the small towns along the way to the tip of Wisconsin. At other times, we have just taken nature walks through our neighborhood or have gone apple picking. Finally, my older son was born in September, so I always look forward to celebrating his birthday as one of the first autumn activities. I'm hoping we can go camping this autumn, as that would be a lot of fun.
To date, my desktop wallpaper at work is of an autumn scene....
As for my favorite time of year being the month of March...it just marks a bunch of big events in my life. I moved out of my parents' house and into my grandma's condo (when she was in assisted living) in March of 2000. I started taking improv comedy classes in March of 2001. In March of 2003, I got engaged on a cruise. My wedding was in March of 2004. We celebrated an anniversary in Vegas in March of 2006. My younger son was born in March of 2008. And we saw "In the Heights" in March of 2009 (another anniversary celebration). March is also when Purim usually occurs. It was in February this year, but close enough to carry over into March as Shushan Purim. I love how fun and festive the holiday is and sometimes it gets compared to Halloween, but without all the spooky stuff (even though Haman was scary).
While I love that the leaves are coming off the trees in autumn because it's done in such a graceful way, I also love that spring comes along in March and the trees start to bring forth new life with their leaves and flowers. This is my first spring in Maryland and I'm enjoying all the beauty of it. While I enjoy the peacefulness of an early evening that arrives with the autumn, I also enjoy having more daylight in the spring (even though it confuses my older son in terms of understanding night time). I guess I'm just full of contrasts, but it's nice to have something to look forward to every 6 months. :)
Check out the backstory about how the project was conceived and how we all came together.
Here are the other blogs:
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Charmingly Random
Desperate Madness
This week's topic comes from Froggie: Write about your favorite season or time of year.
My favorite season is autumn, but my favorite time of year is the month of March.
To explain in more detail...I love the way autumn looks and feels. I love how beautiful the leaves are when they turn red, orange, yellow and brown. I love the piles of leaves that my kids can run through and crunch under their feet. I sometimes like to join them. I like how it means a new start...a new year of school and a new year on the Hebrew calendar. Sukkot takes place in the fall and I love being able to sit outside in the crisp air and enjoy a hot bowl of "Journey's End" soup. I love making campfires and eating s'mores. These days, the "campfire" is really my s'mores making set. :) I also love an excuse to wear sweaters but not need a coat just yet. I still have a thing for Halloween and autumn always represents that for me. I love all the pumpkins sitting out on peoples' front steps and the fact that canned pumpkin is in season to make lots of pies, cakes and soups. And call me crazy, but I love the smell of chimney smoke. It has such a cozy feel to it. I also enjoy taking trips to get pictures of the leaves. We missed out on doing that last year due to a lot of rain and a busy High Holiday season. In the past we would go to Starved Rock State Park when we lived in Illinois. We got some great pictures there and it was so beautiful to walk around in general. One year, we skipped out on Starved Rock to take a weekend trip through Door County, Wisconsin. The colors were beautiful out there too. There were fun festivals in the small towns along the way to the tip of Wisconsin. At other times, we have just taken nature walks through our neighborhood or have gone apple picking. Finally, my older son was born in September, so I always look forward to celebrating his birthday as one of the first autumn activities. I'm hoping we can go camping this autumn, as that would be a lot of fun.
To date, my desktop wallpaper at work is of an autumn scene....
As for my favorite time of year being the month of March...it just marks a bunch of big events in my life. I moved out of my parents' house and into my grandma's condo (when she was in assisted living) in March of 2000. I started taking improv comedy classes in March of 2001. In March of 2003, I got engaged on a cruise. My wedding was in March of 2004. We celebrated an anniversary in Vegas in March of 2006. My younger son was born in March of 2008. And we saw "In the Heights" in March of 2009 (another anniversary celebration). March is also when Purim usually occurs. It was in February this year, but close enough to carry over into March as Shushan Purim. I love how fun and festive the holiday is and sometimes it gets compared to Halloween, but without all the spooky stuff (even though Haman was scary).
While I love that the leaves are coming off the trees in autumn because it's done in such a graceful way, I also love that spring comes along in March and the trees start to bring forth new life with their leaves and flowers. This is my first spring in Maryland and I'm enjoying all the beauty of it. While I enjoy the peacefulness of an early evening that arrives with the autumn, I also enjoy having more daylight in the spring (even though it confuses my older son in terms of understanding night time). I guess I'm just full of contrasts, but it's nice to have something to look forward to every 6 months. :)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
No broken bones here
I recently posted a blog called Sticks and Stones. It was about my experiences growing up as a bullying victim and hopes for future generations that they shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate as Phoebe Prince. Ironically enough, this new title is true in another way because I have never once broken a bone (no kaynehores though).
I realized that after posting the last blog, I had left some things unsaid. Most just popped into my head recently and I wanted to share those thoughts. Some might even be helpful or inspiring…
*There were two times in junior high that I managed to injure my eye (or the area around it). I should have just stayed home from school until it healed each time. It was so not worth going in and having to endure the jokes made at my expense over such self-inflicted accidents. Someone once said that a person on their bus said they beat me up. (Because they were on a different bus and somehow knew about it before they even saw it. Right.) And don’t even get me started on the rumors that came out of the first injury. They weren’t pretty.) It’s ironic that I had to wear an eye patch for two days last fall and was totally fine going out in public. People were nice about it and I didn’t get teased at all. It made me realize that I’m in a great environment now.
*When I was a freshman in high school, I finally got one of my tormenters to give up on bothering me. This girl was awful to me on the bus and I got sick of dealing with her after a while. This particular time, she was trying to get me to say something in hopes that she’d be able to tease me for it. I knew what she was getting at and did not give her such satisfaction at my expense. I just decided to confuse the “game” even more. (Basically, she told me I had a “Dickfor” on my shoulder. I was supposed to ask what such a thing was, but I knew better!) She finally gave up and even asked me if I knew what she was getting at. That was the last time she ever picked on me!
*When I was in college, a girl actually apologized to me for anything she did to hurt me when we were growing up. This was during a summer break and I was waiting on her at IHOP. She wasn’t even as bad as some other people, but she would make me cry a lot when we were kids. At the time, she claimed she was doing it to teach me how to stick up for myself. In any case, I thought it was decent that she apologized and I accepted that apology from her.
*Speaking of IHOP, that place is a bully’s dream come true! I have not stepped into an IHOP since August of 1996, as a result. While I was working there, I was targeted for sexual harassment because I was young and female. It got really nasty after a while and I could have easily reported it. However, they were so cheap that we had to pay for all our meals on the job, so I doubt I would have received any compensation even worthy of what I went through. Normally, I don’t name places, but my experiences working at IHOP were so terrible that I want to prevent other girls from going through the same thing. I mainly worked with a bunch of obnoxious teenage boys, as well as cooks who thought that because I knew limited Spanish, they could hit on me. The funny thing is, I knew how to stand up for myself and I wasn’t running away in tears. I dished back anything I was given. (I didn’t sexually harass anyone, but I wasn’t nice with my comebacks either.) There was even a cranky old lady who would come in every day and take up some tables in the back. She got in on the bullying end of things, but I was just as mean to her after a while. (Once she was doing someone’s side work and wouldn’t share utensils with me. When someone else asked me to share utensils with them, I made an example out of her so that she’d look like an idiot for not sharing.) In any case, the managers weren’t even helpful. I’d tell them what was going on, and then they’d start making disgusting comments about women right in front of me. If I didn’t have some regular customers who thought I was cool, I would have left a lot sooner than I did. There were also customers who were bullies. (This happens all over the place, as it happened at a previous restaurant job too.) The saying “the customer is always right” gets taken for granted and sometimes customers can be downright rude when they are clearly in the wrong. I am nice to servers at restaurants even when they’re not doing the greatest job. There are some levels I will just never lower myself to reach.
*I mentioned some “saving graces” in my post. I wanted to address some and also bring up one I left out:
I started reading V.C. Andrews’ books toward the end of 7th grade because all the cool kids were doing it. However, I didn’t expect to love them as much as I did. I ended up reading a couple of series over summer break and even got my friend from Hebrew school into them. We’d spend our time together reading her books. While I originally got some form of approval from the cool kids, that eventually died off, but I still was addicted to her books. I even started a fan club in college and am still friends with some of the people I met through that avenue (as well as some friends of people with whom I lost contact).
There was also forensics (speech team) in high school. I gained my confidence that way and felt more comfortable speaking in public and performing on stage. I loved going to tournaments every week. The best part was meeting a lot of guys and being able to flirt with them without anyone knowing my social status in school. I actually felt attractive during those times. (I also felt that way initially in CFTY, but that died out after a while.)
I forgot to mention Rocky Horror as a saving grace. This was more toward the end of high school, but it was the first time I felt truly accepted by a group of people. No one cared about who I was in school and there were cute guys who made me feel attractive. After a while, the cast I was with felt like family to me. I’m still in contact with some people from Rocky Horror and enjoy talking to them.
Finally, I have been inspired by my sister to start a new blog about bullying. I also got this idea from “That’s My Boss.” I would take e-mails from people who wanted to talk about their past or present experiences with bullying and post them anonymously to this blog. I have a few ideas for how to handle the information coming in. Comments would be moderated as to avoid further harassment (from people who have nothing better to do). I feel that if by starting such a blog, if it prevents even one person from committing suicide, it will have been a success. I also have hopes that if it gains enough momentum, I could share it with some higher powers that could lead to mandating schools to provide bully prevention seminars before anyone can work in the building. Or at least that it would back up Phoebe’s Law and help push it forward, as I completely support it.
I realized that after posting the last blog, I had left some things unsaid. Most just popped into my head recently and I wanted to share those thoughts. Some might even be helpful or inspiring…
*There were two times in junior high that I managed to injure my eye (or the area around it). I should have just stayed home from school until it healed each time. It was so not worth going in and having to endure the jokes made at my expense over such self-inflicted accidents. Someone once said that a person on their bus said they beat me up. (Because they were on a different bus and somehow knew about it before they even saw it. Right.) And don’t even get me started on the rumors that came out of the first injury. They weren’t pretty.) It’s ironic that I had to wear an eye patch for two days last fall and was totally fine going out in public. People were nice about it and I didn’t get teased at all. It made me realize that I’m in a great environment now.
*When I was a freshman in high school, I finally got one of my tormenters to give up on bothering me. This girl was awful to me on the bus and I got sick of dealing with her after a while. This particular time, she was trying to get me to say something in hopes that she’d be able to tease me for it. I knew what she was getting at and did not give her such satisfaction at my expense. I just decided to confuse the “game” even more. (Basically, she told me I had a “Dickfor” on my shoulder. I was supposed to ask what such a thing was, but I knew better!) She finally gave up and even asked me if I knew what she was getting at. That was the last time she ever picked on me!
*When I was in college, a girl actually apologized to me for anything she did to hurt me when we were growing up. This was during a summer break and I was waiting on her at IHOP. She wasn’t even as bad as some other people, but she would make me cry a lot when we were kids. At the time, she claimed she was doing it to teach me how to stick up for myself. In any case, I thought it was decent that she apologized and I accepted that apology from her.
*Speaking of IHOP, that place is a bully’s dream come true! I have not stepped into an IHOP since August of 1996, as a result. While I was working there, I was targeted for sexual harassment because I was young and female. It got really nasty after a while and I could have easily reported it. However, they were so cheap that we had to pay for all our meals on the job, so I doubt I would have received any compensation even worthy of what I went through. Normally, I don’t name places, but my experiences working at IHOP were so terrible that I want to prevent other girls from going through the same thing. I mainly worked with a bunch of obnoxious teenage boys, as well as cooks who thought that because I knew limited Spanish, they could hit on me. The funny thing is, I knew how to stand up for myself and I wasn’t running away in tears. I dished back anything I was given. (I didn’t sexually harass anyone, but I wasn’t nice with my comebacks either.) There was even a cranky old lady who would come in every day and take up some tables in the back. She got in on the bullying end of things, but I was just as mean to her after a while. (Once she was doing someone’s side work and wouldn’t share utensils with me. When someone else asked me to share utensils with them, I made an example out of her so that she’d look like an idiot for not sharing.) In any case, the managers weren’t even helpful. I’d tell them what was going on, and then they’d start making disgusting comments about women right in front of me. If I didn’t have some regular customers who thought I was cool, I would have left a lot sooner than I did. There were also customers who were bullies. (This happens all over the place, as it happened at a previous restaurant job too.) The saying “the customer is always right” gets taken for granted and sometimes customers can be downright rude when they are clearly in the wrong. I am nice to servers at restaurants even when they’re not doing the greatest job. There are some levels I will just never lower myself to reach.
*I mentioned some “saving graces” in my post. I wanted to address some and also bring up one I left out:
I started reading V.C. Andrews’ books toward the end of 7th grade because all the cool kids were doing it. However, I didn’t expect to love them as much as I did. I ended up reading a couple of series over summer break and even got my friend from Hebrew school into them. We’d spend our time together reading her books. While I originally got some form of approval from the cool kids, that eventually died off, but I still was addicted to her books. I even started a fan club in college and am still friends with some of the people I met through that avenue (as well as some friends of people with whom I lost contact).
There was also forensics (speech team) in high school. I gained my confidence that way and felt more comfortable speaking in public and performing on stage. I loved going to tournaments every week. The best part was meeting a lot of guys and being able to flirt with them without anyone knowing my social status in school. I actually felt attractive during those times. (I also felt that way initially in CFTY, but that died out after a while.)
I forgot to mention Rocky Horror as a saving grace. This was more toward the end of high school, but it was the first time I felt truly accepted by a group of people. No one cared about who I was in school and there were cute guys who made me feel attractive. After a while, the cast I was with felt like family to me. I’m still in contact with some people from Rocky Horror and enjoy talking to them.
Finally, I have been inspired by my sister to start a new blog about bullying. I also got this idea from “That’s My Boss.” I would take e-mails from people who wanted to talk about their past or present experiences with bullying and post them anonymously to this blog. I have a few ideas for how to handle the information coming in. Comments would be moderated as to avoid further harassment (from people who have nothing better to do). I feel that if by starting such a blog, if it prevents even one person from committing suicide, it will have been a success. I also have hopes that if it gains enough momentum, I could share it with some higher powers that could lead to mandating schools to provide bully prevention seminars before anyone can work in the building. Or at least that it would back up Phoebe’s Law and help push it forward, as I completely support it.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Back to where we started from....
I decided to pick a post from livejournal that was related to two topics: My older son's hearing loss and being a working mom.
November 15th, 2005
09:14 am - Officially November
It's starting to become gloomy and cold out here. After such an extended summer, I forgot to expect such weather. The good news is that I can wear my warm sweaters and drink hot cocoa. Two of my favorite things to do in the winter. :)
My weekend was nice. Pretty busy. Friday night, we had some people from temple over for Shabbat dinner. Saturday, we went to temple. Then we went to Lou Malnati's with a bunch of friends at night. The wait was so long, even though we had priority seating from putting in an order. The manager felt bad and gave us free appetizers and salad. And, as always, the pizza was worth the wait. Afterwards, we all hung out at our place and played Apples to Apples. Sunday, I got my hair cut in the morning. It's now chin length. Then we went to Gurnee Mills (a huge indoor outlet mall) with my mom and sister. We mainly looked at stuff for Eitan, but my husband got a shirt and belt for himself too. At night, we had dinner at my cousin's house. My 4 year-old cousin (who will be 5 next month) is so cute! She and I were playing hide-and-seek with her stuffed monkey. She also got to hold Eitan. She was sitting on the floor and we supported his head with a pillow, as well.
Eitan had his hearing test on Friday. Unfortunately, the results weren't what I hoped for. Thankfully, he is not deaf. However, he has a severe hearing loss in his right ear and a moderate loss in his left ear. He's getting fitted for hearing aids tomorrow. Since they caught it so early, he'll be able to adjust by the time he has to go to school. It's not the worst thing that could happen, but it's still not something we wanted him to deal with. We found out recently that there are some hearing problems on my husband's side. His cousin is completely deaf in one ear. She goes to rock concerts a lot, so they probably don't bother her as much.
In other news, I get to see "Rent" in 8 days. I can't wait. However, I have mixed emotions about time going by fast. There are things I'm looking forward to, but I know I have to go back to work in a few weeks and I'm not looking forward to that. I am more upset about having to separate from Eitan than he will be. It makes me sad that other people will get to cuddle with my baby all day while I'm doing stupid and boring stuff at my job. My working mom friends have told me that I'll enjoy the adult interaction. I just interact with my co-workers on a professional level. I'm not close with any of them. One of my coworkers has a son who is two weeks younger than Eitan, so he and I will be able to relate, but that's about it.
That's all for now. Sorry for the gloomy undertones of this entry. The weather isn't helping much.
Follow up: My older son has made a lot of progress with his hearing loss. More than we ever expected. He has great vocabulary and language skills and he's adapting well to his cochlear implant. He doesn't even ask for his hearing aid right now. I remember how we thought he'd never talk or would be extremely behind on language and he has blown our minds since that time.
Please don't take my comment from the original post to be anything disparaging about people who are deaf. I know people who are and they are very nice and they know how to adapt in order to communicate with the hearing world. At the time though, I knew that if my older son were completely deaf, I would be stuck because I don't know sign language that well and I still have a hard time trying to communicate that way. If he had been born deaf, I would have made sure he was implanted right away as to bring him into the speaking world. And I do know people who were born deaf and believe in and support cochlear implants. Even the people in "Sound and Fury" who were against CIs eventually got them, as well.
Side note: The night my cousin held him, she said "Get this off of me." It was really funny. She gets along so well with him now and he's crazy about her.
As for being a working mom, it definitely was hard when I was at a job I hated. Then I ended up being a stay-at-home-mom for a while between my contract naturally ending at that job and the length of time it took to get a job in NJ, which still allowed me to be home most of the time. The kids were in day care on and off, but I think it has made them more well rounded. It was helpful while I was job hunting, as well. Nowadays, I love my job and I know my kids are happy in their schools. It definitely makes all the difference in the world of a working mom. Sure, it's hard to coordinate schedules around appointments and other things that come up, but I'm thankful that my boss is understanding about stuff like that. I like the time I have to be an adult and I have fun comparing daily events with my kids.
November 15th, 2005
09:14 am - Officially November
It's starting to become gloomy and cold out here. After such an extended summer, I forgot to expect such weather. The good news is that I can wear my warm sweaters and drink hot cocoa. Two of my favorite things to do in the winter. :)
My weekend was nice. Pretty busy. Friday night, we had some people from temple over for Shabbat dinner. Saturday, we went to temple. Then we went to Lou Malnati's with a bunch of friends at night. The wait was so long, even though we had priority seating from putting in an order. The manager felt bad and gave us free appetizers and salad. And, as always, the pizza was worth the wait. Afterwards, we all hung out at our place and played Apples to Apples. Sunday, I got my hair cut in the morning. It's now chin length. Then we went to Gurnee Mills (a huge indoor outlet mall) with my mom and sister. We mainly looked at stuff for Eitan, but my husband got a shirt and belt for himself too. At night, we had dinner at my cousin's house. My 4 year-old cousin (who will be 5 next month) is so cute! She and I were playing hide-and-seek with her stuffed monkey. She also got to hold Eitan. She was sitting on the floor and we supported his head with a pillow, as well.
Eitan had his hearing test on Friday. Unfortunately, the results weren't what I hoped for. Thankfully, he is not deaf. However, he has a severe hearing loss in his right ear and a moderate loss in his left ear. He's getting fitted for hearing aids tomorrow. Since they caught it so early, he'll be able to adjust by the time he has to go to school. It's not the worst thing that could happen, but it's still not something we wanted him to deal with. We found out recently that there are some hearing problems on my husband's side. His cousin is completely deaf in one ear. She goes to rock concerts a lot, so they probably don't bother her as much.
In other news, I get to see "Rent" in 8 days. I can't wait. However, I have mixed emotions about time going by fast. There are things I'm looking forward to, but I know I have to go back to work in a few weeks and I'm not looking forward to that. I am more upset about having to separate from Eitan than he will be. It makes me sad that other people will get to cuddle with my baby all day while I'm doing stupid and boring stuff at my job. My working mom friends have told me that I'll enjoy the adult interaction. I just interact with my co-workers on a professional level. I'm not close with any of them. One of my coworkers has a son who is two weeks younger than Eitan, so he and I will be able to relate, but that's about it.
That's all for now. Sorry for the gloomy undertones of this entry. The weather isn't helping much.
Follow up: My older son has made a lot of progress with his hearing loss. More than we ever expected. He has great vocabulary and language skills and he's adapting well to his cochlear implant. He doesn't even ask for his hearing aid right now. I remember how we thought he'd never talk or would be extremely behind on language and he has blown our minds since that time.
Please don't take my comment from the original post to be anything disparaging about people who are deaf. I know people who are and they are very nice and they know how to adapt in order to communicate with the hearing world. At the time though, I knew that if my older son were completely deaf, I would be stuck because I don't know sign language that well and I still have a hard time trying to communicate that way. If he had been born deaf, I would have made sure he was implanted right away as to bring him into the speaking world. And I do know people who were born deaf and believe in and support cochlear implants. Even the people in "Sound and Fury" who were against CIs eventually got them, as well.
Side note: The night my cousin held him, she said "Get this off of me." It was really funny. She gets along so well with him now and he's crazy about her.
As for being a working mom, it definitely was hard when I was at a job I hated. Then I ended up being a stay-at-home-mom for a while between my contract naturally ending at that job and the length of time it took to get a job in NJ, which still allowed me to be home most of the time. The kids were in day care on and off, but I think it has made them more well rounded. It was helpful while I was job hunting, as well. Nowadays, I love my job and I know my kids are happy in their schools. It definitely makes all the difference in the world of a working mom. Sure, it's hard to coordinate schedules around appointments and other things that come up, but I'm thankful that my boss is understanding about stuff like that. I like the time I have to be an adult and I have fun comparing daily events with my kids.
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