Monday, June 21, 2010

The deep side of female friendships

Back in March, I wrote a post about the fun of having girlfriends. I feel a lot more content in the amount of "girlfriend" time I have nowadays, so that's not what I'm here to discuss this time around.

On Shabbat, I went to a women's seudat shlishit (afternoon meal), where the topic was about female friendships. There was a salad and dessert bar and some women presented on different aspects of friendships between women since the beginning of time (or at least since the days of the Old Testament). It was interesting to hear about the depths of female friendships throughout the ages.

Sure, the "girlfriend" aspect is nice, but if there's nothing else to talk about, in which direction does the friendship go? I value loyalty and the ability to have conversations about anything and everything. It's almost like a marriage...if you can't be best friends, how can you grow old together? It's so important to never be able to run out of stuff to talk about. I love that I have these types of friendships, even over e-mail. I mentioned in a Friendship Friday post about a female friend with whom I write "novels." This is what we refer to as our long e-mail conversations. We sometimes take a while to reply back with the novels, but they're so worth the wait. Parts of the novel are about our favorite rock star crush and other parts are about stuff that is happening in our lives, as well as some of our deepest thoughts and feelings. There are other times I send short e-mails back and forth between my friends and myself, but they encompass a whole conversation.

Aside from the conversations, I will do anything to support my friends in their efforts to achieve their dreams and goals. Sometimes I get too overzealous and offer help when it is not requested. Other times, I do what I can in order to show I care, even if I'm not able to go all out. I am able to laugh or cry with them, celebrate their achievements, comiserate during the tough times, etc. I wouldn't be where or who I am without my female friendships and I want my friends to know how much they mean to me. I plan to continue the Friendship Friday posts (and I promise not to leave my male friends out too much) and also find other ways to get to know my female friends better. I apologize to those with whom I am not in contact as often as I could be. I need to work on reaching out and staying in touch better. I hope my friends know that I'm thinking of them and that they are always welcome to contact me as well, to tell me what is new in their lives. I'm very thankful for all my female friends, whether we're just "girlfriends," we can have deep conversations or even a mix of both.

1 comment:

Denise Sandra said...

This is nice, I read many of your posts, I just do not leave a comment for each, since we talk via other ways. I have to say though, it takes two to make a good friendship. If a friend tries to reach out and sends letters emails, calls, whatever and that is not reciprocated, it is difficult to feel that person cares or has any time for you. So in other words, do not feel bad, you know who your true friends are and yes we all get busy and I think you also know who your friends are, even if you do not talk to them every week, or even every month. :):) Then again when you have over 600 friends...LOL JK