This week, Mom of Many picked the topic: This article says that we, as women, have let our suffragette mothers down. We write blogs about cupcakes, knitting and other traditional female pursuits, we have given up working to be stay-at-home mothers, etc. Essentially it boils down to, are we, women of 2011 as bad-ass as women of the 70's?
Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock
After reading Mom of Many's subject line a few times, I've come to realize that I don't fit much into the latter category. Unless reading chick lit is a traditional female pursuit? From what I remember, chick lit has only come about in the past decade or so. And a lot of the books feature strong women. Anyway, I like to bake but I keep it simple and I am not much of a cake decorator. I tried knitting for a while but it didn't suit me and I just put it aside to focus on reading and blogging. I am a working mother. The one thing I can say is that I gave up the lifestyle I used to lead to become more observant with Judaism. So I dress more modestly than before (I still wear short sleeves though, but no more shorts) and spend the larger part of my weekends observing Shabbat. I even cook! My husband does most of the cooking, but I've contributed my fair share.
I think women should not be defined in one category versus another. I think we're a mix of toughness with a side of domesticity thrown in. Yes, Martha Stewart probably would pass out if she saw the way I keep my home and the how haphazardly I (attempt to) decorate a cake or fold clothes. I hope that she would also see how much I do to make sure everyone has what they need for school and how I'm able to get us all out the door on time. She didn't see me during my "Rocky Horror" or clubbing days, but that's okay. I think I still have an edge that comes out even now, making me even more "modern" than the average Modern Orthodox Jewish woman. I listen to all sorts of music. I teach my kids rock songs instead of "Old MacDonald." I fight with people when I feel like I've been wronged. (You should have heard me talking to the bus dispatchers earlier this week. You would have thought I was the evil customer in "Waiting"....the one who says "How hard is your job?" I was also hell-bent on getting compensated for a super long wait at a portrait studio a few weeks ago.)
I don't take my right to vote for granted. I don't know much about politics, but I will vote in every presidential election. I think the only one I missed was in 2000, but that wouldn't have mattered anyway, after the re-count. :P
I was only a baby in the 70's, but had I been an adult back then (it's one of the time periods to which I'd love to travel if time travel existed), I would have been going to music festivals, sitting in one of the first audiences to start the call-backs for "Rocky Horror," working not only to help support my family, but also to give myself another purpose in life (which I do now, as well). I was going through these brief moments of time where I thought I'd be better off as a stay-at-home-mom but then I realized that I would go out of my mind. I love my children, but I don't know how to entertain them 24/7. I've tried it from time to time and always felt like I was in a rut somehow. There's only so many times I can take them to Chuck E. Cheese to play video games or let them run around a playground. When I'm at work, I'm doing something for the greater good, being in non-profit. I love being able to help someone else do something important. As support staff, that is my primary role. I love my children too, but it's nice to come home to them and hear all about their days. My mom worked throughout my childhood and adolescence and I always admired that about her. It made her even more fascinating somehow. I enjoyed visiting her at work and meeting her friends. I even made a friend because of one of her jobs. I still love visiting where she works and seeing how much she is valued in her role and as a person. These days, I'm just thankful that my work has flexibility and I'm able to be there for important things in my kids' lives, like my older son's pre-K graduation. While I enjoyed the time I got to cuddle with my baby girl during maternity leave, I was also excited to come back to the office and was even checking work e-mail while I was home, trying to stay on top of things. I not only missed the people at my office, but some of them even said they missed me. It was nice to hear that and feel like such a valued part of the organization.
A friend of mine recently wrote about mothers who sound like they had a lobotomy after giving birth, the way they refer to their children and spouses and the way they do nothing but post pictures of their babies and talk about every single milestone like it's a huge deal. This woman is a new mother and vows to never get that way. However, it's impossible not to when you have so much love and pride for your kids. Women should still find their own ways to stay an individual and not just fall into a stereotypical role. However, I love talking about the little things my children are doing and glad I can become excited over potty training accomplishments or a loose tooth. You should have seen my excitement when my older son clapped his hands for the first time. I almost caused my husband to get into a car accident. It doesn't mean I've had a lobotomy. It means I'm a mom. I don't believe in completely sheltering my children, but I draw the line at "Spongebob Squarepants." I enjoy teaching them about rock music instead of baby songs. I try to toughen them up while still cuddling with them and kissing away their pain.
On another thread of this topic, I think of female entertainers. P!nk stands out as bad-ass. However, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Gwen Stefani and the late Amy Winehouse could also fit into this category. They all present a toughness, even when they're trying to sound vulnerable. I also think Jane Lynch (Sue Sylvester from "Glee") is quite a bad-ass. She's a talented comedic actress but she puts forth a bad-ass persona. I haven't been watching as many movies as usual, but there are definitely movies with women as tough characters. They make for interesting role models for girls growing up in this era.
Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this topic. As I said before, there are so many different types of women in the world. We do what we have to for ourselves, our families, society, etc. I do know that I'm glad I'm a woman in the 21st century instead of the 1950's, when women were expected to be domestic. At least it seemed that way from television and movies. I really like in the movie "Pleasantville," when the women try to break free from their pre-determined roles. The influence Reese Witherspoon's tough girl character from the 90's had on the mother was impressive and definitely stands out for me. It would be interesting to time travel to the 50's and try to do the same for women of that time and show them what they are really made of.
1 comment:
That's what so great- women can be whatever they choose to be, whether it's soft and feminine, or hard and edgy... good read!!!
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