When I'm 94....

Remember the blog project I did in 2010 with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, Mom of Many picked the topic: What scares you the most about getting older?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

The timing of this topic is funny in a coincidental way. My only living grandparent (my paternal grandma), who is also the only living great-grandparent from both sides of our family, is celebrating her birthday this weekend. Considering all her health issues, I’m impressed that she’s lived longer than any of my other grandparents. She’s made it past the ages they were when they passed away. Definitely something to celebrate, right? I don’t know if she’d agree, but I’m glad she’s still part of our lives. She got to meet her three great grandchildren, including the one named after her husband. And most amazingly, she got to see her own son turn 65.

The first thing that scares me about getting older is the possibility of not being alive to see at least my oldest child turn 65. My grandma was young when she had my dad. I have almost 30 years between myself and my oldest child. So when he turns 65, I’d be 94. That’s quite an age to shoot for, even though some people have made it way past 100. I read a lot of death notices for work. A long time ago, I would have accepted death for what it was, but now it just freaks me out. Maybe having a lot to lose is what makes it harder to think about.

The next thing is the fact that Alzheimer’s is a possibility. My late maternal grandma had it and I worry about her passing it to my mom and then to me or even having it skip my mom and go right to me. I like remembering things too much and it drives me crazy if I forget something really minor.

Finally, I worry about not fitting in as a senior citizen. I know that sounds totally weird, but grandparents are getting younger and younger. My grandparents seemed super old when I was a kid, even though they were around the age my parents are now. My parents still seem young and modern. However, there’s a certain classiness that went along with the pop culture of my grandparents’ time. They had Sinatra music and classic films such as Casablanca or Gone with the Wind. Whereas, I’ll be sitting in my rocker, listening to Alanis Morissette and Nirvana and watching Friends reruns or Clueless. Something about that doesn’t jive with being old.

There are some things I’m looking forward to though. (Like anyone looks forward to aging?!?) I wouldn’t mind moving to assisted living or a retirement community. It’s like going to camp year round. So much to do all the time and very social, as well! I wouldn’t mind having my friends there so we could be like the Golden Girls. Getting to meet my grandchildren is another item on the plus side. At least I hope I’ll have some grandchildren to meet! I’m done having babies but it will be nice to cuddle with them and then give them back to my kids (and teach my younger son’s kids how not to listen to him so that he can finally “get it”). I’m not in a rush for any of this, as I want to enjoy my fleeting youth for as long as possible. After all, as Sally once said, “I’m going to be 40...someday!” (Even though 40 is the new 30, or so it seems. It sounded super old to me when I was a kid, especially when everyone called it "Over the Hill.")