Finders, Keepers

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for over two years and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Mom of Many chose the topic: When you stop looking for something you often find it. Is this something that has been true in your life?.

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

When I first read the topic, I thought Mom of Many was referring to something being in the last place you'd look. That's sometimes the case.

Knowing myself, I'm usually looking for something actively and it's rare when I find something long after I've stopped looking. I could tell myself I wasn't really looking, but I still think I was subtly keeping my eyes and ears open. There have been times when I'd be pleasantly surprised though. And other times when I'd be frustrated by the idea that something would magically turn up if I stopped looking. If that's the case, where is my ring from Israel that disappeared almost four years ago?!?

This concept comes into play around Passover, when I'm cleaning out the cars and unearth all sorts of treasures. I once found my older son's kipah that I'd given up on shortly after our move here. I was excited over that find. Other times, money will turn up out of nowhere, and I have no complaints over that! The best thing is when I go to Value Village and come across something that was just sitting there, waiting for me to find it. The best treasure has been sets of Full House DVDs. I also found My So-Called Life on DVD there one time.

These days, it's less about objects and more about life experiences. I know there are people who say that love comes when you least expect it. I once heard a comedian talk about that phrase. He said that must mean that love would find him at three a.m. while he's on the toilet. Seriously though, I don't know if I was actively looking for love when I found my husband. I'd given up on the search for a soul mate prior to meeting him, but it was such a short time of not actively looking. And I was still openly flirting if I came across a guy I found interesting and approachable. However, this concept does fit in with two other life experiences....

When we lived in New Jersey, we were looking for a community that was a better fit for us both financially and socially. We spent Shabbos weekends in different neighborhoods, but never had that "Goldilocks" moment during any of these visits. After a while, we stopped seeking out towns to visit, at least for the winter months, and decided to take things as they came. Then we went to Washington DC for my husband's work conference and that led us to check out a nearby neighborhood a few months later. We experienced the "Goldilocks" moment right away. Four years later, we still love living here.

The other life experience this relates to is making new friends. I have actively sought out ways to make friends in the past. Sometimes I'd just make one new friend and that would be it. I was always just looking to meet people nearby and form a connection so we could hang out more often. This ended up happening with someone whom I am now friends with in my community. We might not have talked more than a "hi" in passing if we didn't run into each other at an author event. When I had initially met her about two years prior to that event, I tried reaching out to become friends but nothing ever came of it. It took this author event to bring us together and I'm very thankful for that. (And here I thought having the author call me by name was the best moment of the evening!) Then there are the people who live far away but have become close friends because we met through the book blog. They e-mailed me about appearing on the blog and all of a sudden we're talking about anything and everything. These women know who they are...or at least I hope they do! They've become very special to me over a short period of time. I've also connected really well with other book bloggers, but have yet to meet them in person.

I hope this answers Mom of Many's question.