Thursday, April 17, 2014

Just a girl who cain't say no....

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Can a person be too nice?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Moma Rock

Oddly enough, I was watching The Mindy Project this week and Mindy was talking about how she's too nice when it comes to dating, even if she doesn't like the guy.

Anyway, this was an easy question to answer personally because I know that I am definitely too nice. I think I've always been that way though. While it has earned me some great friendships, it has also made me a pushover. Just like Ado Annie in Oklahoma, "I cain't say no!" Ironically enough, I had to perform that song for my musical theater class during senior year of high school. I must have had that phrase written all over my face.

I am learning how to say no though. I find it hard to do at times, with the exception of my kids. I find it rather easy to say no to them. Yet, when someone at work asks me to take on more than I'm already doing, I end up saying yes, even though it means I'll get overwhelmed as a result. Lately, I've been more liberal about saying no to extra work if I'm not going to be able to get it done in the time needed. I end up feeling bad about saying no, but I realize that it is necessary and the people who have asked respect why I needed to say no at those times.

Another part of my life where saying no proves to be difficult sometimes is for my book blog. I want to be able to include as many books as possible, but I also realize that I have a tight schedule and that there are other book blogs out there that may be a better fit. I am glad when someone else is able to say no so that I don't have to feel guilty about making the decision myself, and also when the book being suggested clearly is not a fit at all. So I have been saying no more often than I used to in terms of material for the blog.

In general though, I feel that I am overall incredibly nice. I like taking care of people and ensuring their happiness or comfort. Sometimes this manifests itself in the care packages I make and mail out. I also will bring my neighbors things I think they'll want or need. I loan out my books to anyone without a return date listed on them. I make sure peoples' dietary needs are accounted for when hosting Shabbat and holiday meals. Even yesterday, I loaned a guest one of my rain ponchos so they wouldn't have to get cold and sick from the rain.

I pride myself on being really nice. However, this doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself and my own needs if I have to. I've been known to get short with people if they say or do something to really upset me. For the most part though, I am easygoing about the little things in life and try to find a way to make things work whenever possible, as long as I can have a balance where I'm not overlooking what I want or need in the process. I know people who are also really nice and while I enjoy that about them, I also hope that they have the same balance that I strive to maintain.

Here's the song I was talking about:


Denise K. said...

Can't say this surprises me. You are a genuinely nice person and I'm glad you've realized such niceness can have a downside. But even if you say no, I'm sure you'll do it nicely?

Sara said...

I think you have a nice balance in your life- and like Denise said, you are a genuinely nice person. It sounds as though you know when to stand up for yourself and to set those boundaries- something I'm still working on! Great post!

Rina said...

Lovely post!! You are one of the sweetest people I know and I am glad our kids were in the same class so I got to meet you :) When I feel that I am "too nice" I remind myself that I'd rather have this problem then the opposite . . .

Janine said...

I feel blessed to have you in my life. I know we've never met in person and probably never will. but, I still call you a good friend. I see the things you do for others (as well as me in the past) and know how great you are. Thank you for being my friend! I always enjoy reading your posts. I feel I get to know you a little more each time.