Monday, May 17, 2010

See me....

On last week's episode of "Glee," Shue asked everyone to come up with a song about how they see themselves. The next night, I watched a video made by Emily Giffin about a bunch of things people didn't know about her. She used it as a way to brag, but I thought it was fun and cute. It's nice to be that self-actualized. I've been using my blog as a way to become more self-actualized, as well.

A few months ago, one of my blog project friends came up with the idea to have everyone ask three friends (we've known for different lengths of time) how they see us and how they think we see ourselves. The topic ended falling by the wayside and since I feel like it will never be used for the blog project, I am going to talk about it now.

The two friends who have known me for a long time (one for 16 1/2 years and one for 7 years) both said I see myself as a good wife and mother. While I do love being both, it piques my interest that people think I see myself in such a way. Especially people with whom I consider myself to be close friends. It just shows that I have actualized myself into two such roles. I started this blog because I thought I was losing myself in both roles and wanted to just talk about what makes me, well....me! It's true that being married and having children has definitely defined some facets of my life. My husband and kids bring out new things about me that I might not have thought were there otherwise. I still feel like my husband has a lot to learn about me and that I can surprise him even after 8 years as a couple. And it's fun to be able to tell my older son about who I was before he came along. I love showing him pictures of me during different stages of my life. My younger son's quirkiness reminds me of all the quirks and hang-ups I had while growing up and sometimes have nowadays.

All three friends I "interviewed" (the third being someone I've only known for a little over a year) have told me in some way or another that I am fun, friendly and welcoming. They see me as reliable and someone with whom they can easy get along. I won't lie...all the responses I received were very positive. I wasn't even fishing because I didn't come up with the questions. The friend who has known me 7 years talked about how I like to bring my friends together. I know I was doing this with the blog project. I have done it during many other times of my life, whether it was bringing together high school and college friends, work friends and lifelong friends, friends from different states and countries, etc. If I feel that people should meet, I'll find a way. This 7 year friend hosts parties and makes sure no one is left out. I do the same thing. I can't entertain everyone all the time, but I make sure to bring together a group that could entertain each other. I am always open to making new friends. My 1 year friend is someone I connected with through my sister. When my family was visiting us in NJ, my sister invited her over to hang out and I then invited her to stay for Shabbat dinner (she's not Jewish, but it didn't matter). After that time, she and I went to movies and hung out occasionally. We got to know each other during the span of a few short months. My older son has a crush on her, so he usually came with us. I felt like I had found another "girlfriend" even though I wouldn't get to see her as often once I moved.

I'm open to meeting new people and making lots of connections. I even tried to help a new couple fit in to my previous community, about a month before we moved out here. I still do that in our current community, even though we're pretty new ourselves. I also help integrate people from my new community into my previous community, if I find out that they are moving to that area. I enjoy hosting big group meals for Shabbat lunch and friendly gatherings on Shabbat afternoon/evening. In terms of friendships, my college and adult years have completely made up for my lack of a social life in junior high and high school.

As for how I truly see myself:
*I think that I am nice, almost to a fault. I like to do nice things for people out of the goodness of my heart. No ulterior motive necessary!
*I do have a mean streak that's reserved for people who truly piss me off. So all you parents who abuse and neglect your children to the point of death...you don't want to meet me if you know what's good for you!
*I like to have fun and take pleasure in the simple things that can easily make me happy.
*I love to read. I know that's pretty obvious, but I've always been that way. I'm never without a book. I wrote a monologue in high school that was based upon the fact that I am a bookaholic. I even started a group on Facebook to talk about chick lit.
*Working on this blog has reminded me how much I love to write. I'm considering writing a fictional short story for a contest.
*I get starstruck and silly when I meet celebrities. I'm sure Kevin Smith thinks I'm the biggest dork ever.
*Oh yeah, I'm not afraid to admit that I have a dorky side.
*I'm a movie buff and love talking about pop culture. My 16 1/2 year friend calls me the pop culture queen.
*I'm amazingly good with driving directions. I can even visualize where someone is without using a map.
*I also love to sing. I am a walking soundtrack. I sing everything from pop to country to Broadway and even toss in some Disney tunes for my kids. (Who am I kidding...they're for me too!) I don't have a chance of getting on "American Idol" because of my age and I'm sure there are others who are better than me, but singing makes me feel good and the voice lessons from high school have paid off!
*I tend to procrastinate, which is why I still have blogs waiting to be written in my drafts folder. I also seem to be waiting for winter to roll around before I finish the scarf I'm knitting. And who needs to clean the house when the Internet is available 24/7?!?

I'm sure there are other things I will think of after this is posted, but I'll just save them for future posts!

Then there's the blog project itself. I came up with the idea and am enjoying the topics people come up with, as well as coming up with topics every few weeks. I find it to be another opportunity for self-actualization. I have other blog themes throughout the week: Time Warp Tuesday and Friendship Friday. I look forward to writing posts for all three "regular" blog themes (including the project). I think I'm going to take this blog to a new level of self actualization and write more fun posts where I can do anything from filling out questionnaires, talking about my likes/dislikes, sharing memories, etc. So, stay tuned!

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