You've got mail

Something that kept me sane during my hellish junior high years was the existence of pen pals. Nowadays, with the Internet, it seems like people no longer take a pen to paper to catch up with a friend. It’s as easy as a click of a mouse, and no postage necessary. However, back when postage was still 25 cents and beautiful stationery was sold in the shops of historic Long Grove (Illinois), I used to love writing real letters to people I knew in different parts of the country...and the world!

The first pen pal I had was a girl who was cousins with some family friends of ours. I met her the summer before seventh grade and we agreed to write to each other. She lived in NY and we only saw each other at simchas for our family friends. Her grandma would be with us in Florida and she’d call her so we could talk by phone during that time. Anyway, we would send each other letters talking about our latest celebrity crushes and other things going on in our lives. She was obsessed with “21 Jump Street,” so she wrote about that a lot, as well. (I remember that she even had a “21 Jump Street” themed Bat Mitzvah party.) She’d also try to write her own script for the show and would send it to me. And one of the best things she ever sent me was sheet music to the songs from “Sing.” I think we’d send each other birthday and holiday gifts, as well. We stayed in touch throughout high school and college, but then drifted a bit after that. We’d send occasional sporadic e-mails, but that was about it. Thankfully, we were able to reconnect on Facebook and I’m glad to see that she is doing well. Sometimes I’ll e-mail her about things that remind me of our past pen pal exchanges.

Shortly after I became pen pals with my friend from NY, I signed up for an Australian pen pal exchange from my library. During the rough first few months of seventh grade, one of my days was brightened by a letter I received from a girl in New South Wales. She and I started corresponding regularly and would send each other gifts, as well. She first sent me a picture of koala bears, which is now hanging in my older son’s room. I sent her a Caboodle (those make up kits that have extra compartments for more storage). We corresponded throughout high school and college, as well. However, we lost touch because I had writers block on a letter and just never sent it. She and I were at different places in our lives at the time and I felt like I had nothing more exciting to say. I feel bad about dropping contact. I keep looking for her on Facebook but can’t seem to find her. I’m guessing she only goes by her married name, but I thought even searching for women around her age with her first name who live around the NSW area would produce something. So far, no luck.

Through a pen pal exchange from “Teen” magazine, I became connected with a girl from California. She seemed really friendly and we’d exchange letters often. I perceived her to be someone who would fit in with the popular kids at my school, so I felt honored to receive such unconditional attention from her. We were supposed to meet up in person when she had a layover in Chicago once, but then her flight got changed and the meeting didn’t happen. She was nice enough to call and explain what happened though. We stayed in touch throughout high school, but then drifted apart. I also became pen pals with another girl from California (through the same magazine) when I was in high school. She also seemed like the more popular type and I was pleased to have her attention, as well. We also drifted after high school. Finally, there was a girl from Alabama, whom I also met through “Teen,” who seemed really nice. She knew Spanish and I would try to write to her in Spanish when I was learning it in high school. Once she signed a letter with “Lylas,” which I thought was Spanish. I asked my teacher about it and she explained that it meant “love ya like a sister.” That was pretty funny and embarrassing at the same time. I think we tried to stay in touch during college, but also drifted. I haven’t found any of these three girls on Facebook though. Believe me, I have tried.

I think there were other pen pals with whom I only corresponded for a short amount of time and then we quickly lost touch. I remember a girl in junior high who seemed to have a million pen pals. I was jealous of her. She’d connect with people from the classified section of “Teen Beat” and “Bop” magazines. I tried doing that too, but nothing ever came of it. I do appreciate and cherish the letters I received from pen pals throughout the years. I unfortunately do not have them anymore. They either got lost in a move or disappeared in a flood. I would also stay in touch with friends who I became close with in person but lived too far away from to see often. Later, I’d sometimes exchange handwritten letters with friends I met online. It seems like the concept of pen pals does not exist in this day and age. It is probably because stamp prices have risen and the Internet is so much more convenient. Still, I don’t even know if I’d let my kids have pen pals unless it was something I helped to arrange. It seems like there are less trustworthy people out there these days. There’s also the chance of cyber-bullying to worry about. Even when my kids start getting on the Internet, I’ll have so much protection on there that all they’ll be able to do is play games or watch family friendly videos. I’m impressed that my parents let me have pen pals and also meet up with people I connected with online. I know if I were a kid in this day and age, the level of parental monitoring would be so much tighter. It makes me glad that I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, when pen pals were just friends I got to know through the mail.