Tonight I tackled the master bedroom to the tunes of Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and other alternative and grunge bands of the 90's. I put all my clothes away and put my husband's clothes aside for him to sort and put where he wants. I went through my closet and some drawers and even found some things I was looking for (such as one of my favorite hats). I got distracted for a few minutes by an old journal (in which I don't even recognize my own handwriting). It focused a lot on something that I'll be blogging about this Thursday. I also put aside a few things for freecycling, but less than I expected. I did freecycle some clothes earlier this evening, so that was nice. There was so much demand for the clothes!
I know I need to straighten up the guest room soon because my parents will be here starting Thursday evening. The utility room is a week-long project though. I don't even know where to start in there!
The kitchen still looks good. My husband washed some dishes, but there are still some more to tackle. I hope to get to them tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Time Warp Tuesday
I've decided to start a new blog "tradition" called "Time Warp Tuesday." I will post old blog entries from MySpace (or possibly even from livejournal if I feel it's appropriate).
My first entry happens to be from this time of year in 2008, as posted to my blog on MySpace. It still rings true today and has to do with my impending Pesach freakout that happens during the month leading up to the holiday. I'm leaving everything in the post because it was relevant during the time I originally posted it. That's what gives it more of a "time warp" feel.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Passover panic and pandemonium
Current mood: angsty
Category: Food and Restaurants
First of all, I want to note how amusing it is that Purim is closer to Easter than Passover is this year. Which means that if the Easter candy is Kosher, we can feast on it without feeling guilty. :) (And yes....all those spring-colored Hershey Kisses and Reese's PB cups are still Kosher.)
I was at Shop-Rite these past two days (I never get everything I need in one trip) and noticed that the Kosher aisle is being converted into a Passover aisle. Passover is only a little over a month away. Still plenty of time to eat chometz (bread and other leavened products) between now and then. I've never seen so much Passover food at one store. When I was living in Illinois, there was maybe a small section at the front of the store with a limited amount of Passover items and not really enough options to choose from. Here, the entire aisle is being devoted to Passover.
Ever since I started keeping Kosher, shopping for Passover has become a huge undertaking. I used to not care as much and would just buy matzah and a few standard items to get me through the week. Even last year, I didn't go overboard, as I knew we were moving soon and spending the first two days in Lancaster. This year, despite the fact that we'll be having another child by the time Purim gets here (b'shaah tovah), my husband has "volunteered" us to host his family for the beginning of Passover. I don't mind hosting a meal normally, but Passover has its own set of rules. Seeing that my brother-in-law keeps Kosher even more strictly than we do, I feel like we should just completely overhaul the kitchen and start fresh. I did tell my husband that if he wants to have Passover here, he's in charge of cooking. Not like he isn't anyway, but I usually do a lot of cooking these days. I will probably contribute some desserts to the meal, but that's all I can fathom doing right now.
In any case, just looking at the Passover items on the store shelves sets me into a tailspin. I know I'll end up procrastinating on Passover shopping as I do every year. I just don't want to think about all that food in my house yet.
The one thing that truly annoys me about Passover shopping is how marketable the holiday has become. It's not enough to just eat matzah and other unleavened bread products, but suddenly nothing is Kosher for Passover unless it's in a Manischewitz or Streit's box that says OU-P on it. And it doesn't just come down to food either. Dish soap apparently has to be Kosher for Passover. I think that's where I draw the line.
I'm hoping Passover won't be a major chore this year. I just want to get through the week and then move on to chometz for the rest of the year. Even the High Holidays don't unnerve me this much!
On a positive note, I am prepared for Purim this year, even though I won't really get to do much for it, all things considered (b'shaah tovah). I just have to fix up E's costume and that's it! (He's wearing his Halloween costume again because his eema is just that lazy. :P )
Sticking with the theme of Judaism here, if you are wondering why I say "b'shaah tovah" a lot, it just means "in due time" and it's my way (as well as the way of the observant Jewish population) of not jinxing the pregnancy.
Follow up: My brother-in-law and his family ended up doing their own thing, so we hosted my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law. My mother-in-law brought a lot of food from her home, which was nice. I managed to get the shopping done after the baby had arrived and I had time to settle into a schedule with him. We had one seder at our house and went to one at the Rabbi’s house, where E entertained everyone with his “Dayenu” dance. It was a nice and meaningful Pesach overall that year, as well as last year. While I still dread shopping for the holiday, my mother-in-law finds ways to help me feel better about things and get more organized. I’m thankful to her for that!
My first entry happens to be from this time of year in 2008, as posted to my blog on MySpace. It still rings true today and has to do with my impending Pesach freakout that happens during the month leading up to the holiday. I'm leaving everything in the post because it was relevant during the time I originally posted it. That's what gives it more of a "time warp" feel.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Passover panic and pandemonium
Current mood: angsty
Category: Food and Restaurants
First of all, I want to note how amusing it is that Purim is closer to Easter than Passover is this year. Which means that if the Easter candy is Kosher, we can feast on it without feeling guilty. :) (And yes....all those spring-colored Hershey Kisses and Reese's PB cups are still Kosher.)
I was at Shop-Rite these past two days (I never get everything I need in one trip) and noticed that the Kosher aisle is being converted into a Passover aisle. Passover is only a little over a month away. Still plenty of time to eat chometz (bread and other leavened products) between now and then. I've never seen so much Passover food at one store. When I was living in Illinois, there was maybe a small section at the front of the store with a limited amount of Passover items and not really enough options to choose from. Here, the entire aisle is being devoted to Passover.
Ever since I started keeping Kosher, shopping for Passover has become a huge undertaking. I used to not care as much and would just buy matzah and a few standard items to get me through the week. Even last year, I didn't go overboard, as I knew we were moving soon and spending the first two days in Lancaster. This year, despite the fact that we'll be having another child by the time Purim gets here (b'shaah tovah), my husband has "volunteered" us to host his family for the beginning of Passover. I don't mind hosting a meal normally, but Passover has its own set of rules. Seeing that my brother-in-law keeps Kosher even more strictly than we do, I feel like we should just completely overhaul the kitchen and start fresh. I did tell my husband that if he wants to have Passover here, he's in charge of cooking. Not like he isn't anyway, but I usually do a lot of cooking these days. I will probably contribute some desserts to the meal, but that's all I can fathom doing right now.
In any case, just looking at the Passover items on the store shelves sets me into a tailspin. I know I'll end up procrastinating on Passover shopping as I do every year. I just don't want to think about all that food in my house yet.
The one thing that truly annoys me about Passover shopping is how marketable the holiday has become. It's not enough to just eat matzah and other unleavened bread products, but suddenly nothing is Kosher for Passover unless it's in a Manischewitz or Streit's box that says OU-P on it. And it doesn't just come down to food either. Dish soap apparently has to be Kosher for Passover. I think that's where I draw the line.
I'm hoping Passover won't be a major chore this year. I just want to get through the week and then move on to chometz for the rest of the year. Even the High Holidays don't unnerve me this much!
On a positive note, I am prepared for Purim this year, even though I won't really get to do much for it, all things considered (b'shaah tovah). I just have to fix up E's costume and that's it! (He's wearing his Halloween costume again because his eema is just that lazy. :P )
Sticking with the theme of Judaism here, if you are wondering why I say "b'shaah tovah" a lot, it just means "in due time" and it's my way (as well as the way of the observant Jewish population) of not jinxing the pregnancy.
Follow up: My brother-in-law and his family ended up doing their own thing, so we hosted my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law. My mother-in-law brought a lot of food from her home, which was nice. I managed to get the shopping done after the baby had arrived and I had time to settle into a schedule with him. We had one seder at our house and went to one at the Rabbi’s house, where E entertained everyone with his “Dayenu” dance. It was a nice and meaningful Pesach overall that year, as well as last year. While I still dread shopping for the holiday, my mother-in-law finds ways to help me feel better about things and get more organized. I’m thankful to her for that!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Heaven's Kitchen
The kitchen is now organized (thanks to Little Miss Obsessive) and it smells of delicious vegetable soup (thanks to my fantastic cook of a husband). :) I still need to wash dairy and pareve dishes, but I'm stuck until the dishwasher is finished because I have to move more meat dishes out of the sink and into there first. I put away the dairy dishes that were on the drying rack though. I also found the time to organize my bag for work so it won't be as heavy and I'll be able to find things. :)
I can't decide which room to tackle next. I think our bedroom could use some work. I still have to put away the boys' laundry too.
I haven't really found much to freecycle yet. Most of the stuff in the kitchen was stale crackers and little pieces of junk that could easily be tossed in the trash. I think other rooms will provide more to actually give away. I'm just glad that I have less chometz to pack away now. :)
In any case, I'm proud of the work I accomplished tonight. I can actually see the counters and window area now!
I can't decide which room to tackle next. I think our bedroom could use some work. I still have to put away the boys' laundry too.
I haven't really found much to freecycle yet. Most of the stuff in the kitchen was stale crackers and little pieces of junk that could easily be tossed in the trash. I think other rooms will provide more to actually give away. I'm just glad that I have less chometz to pack away now. :)
In any case, I'm proud of the work I accomplished tonight. I can actually see the counters and window area now!
Fly Lady, Fly
I know that Passover is around the corner (and you will see a related post about it soon), and everyone seems to talk about cleaning the house in preparation. I keep telling myself that it’s as easy as having our cleaning lady over a few days prior and packing up all the chometz in the house to “sell” (or eating a lot more so there’s less to pack). A friend of mine keeps a blog about how she is de-cluttering her home. Someone had suggested that she check out FlyLady.net to help herself get more organized.
As a result of this suggestion, I decided to check out the site and see what the deal was. To anyone first checking it out, it looks extremely overwhelming. However, I decided to sign up as a beginner and get all the e-mails in digest format. There’s a disclaimer that you should never try to catch up and just pick up from wherever the process is when you first get the e-mails. They don’t want to overwhelm new readers in any way. I find a lot of validity in what is being presented, but I still need some self-motivation. I’ve decided to tackle the house one room at a time. I am planning to start with the kitchen since that’s the most cluttered room of the house. Even more cluttered than our bedroom or the utility room, in my opinion. Sometimes our weekly sitter will help straighten up in the kitchen, but it ends up becoming a disaster anyway. I need to figure out a new system soon! It doesn’t help that there’s a giant box amidst all the clutter. This box is our new oven and it will be installed a week and a half before Pesach. I don’t know if that will throw off our non-Pesach cooking, but I guess we won’t have pizza in there for a while, unless it’s made of matzah!
Also, I recently received an e-mail requesting items for a Jewish community in Ukraine. Great way to de-clutter and also perform a mitzvah. I think Hashem wanted this all to come together (my need for organization and this mitzvah opportunity that happened to stand out to me from all my other e-mails).
Anyway, FlyLady thinks that 15 minutes is enough time each day to tackle the room or area of the week. I am obsessive and need to get it all done in one straight shot, if possible. I’ll put on Pandora radio and get cracking. I’m going to attempt this while my husband is in the middle of making Journey’s End soup, but there’s room in the kitchen for both of us. It will be nice to have his company during my “mission.” Wish me luck!
As a result of this suggestion, I decided to check out the site and see what the deal was. To anyone first checking it out, it looks extremely overwhelming. However, I decided to sign up as a beginner and get all the e-mails in digest format. There’s a disclaimer that you should never try to catch up and just pick up from wherever the process is when you first get the e-mails. They don’t want to overwhelm new readers in any way. I find a lot of validity in what is being presented, but I still need some self-motivation. I’ve decided to tackle the house one room at a time. I am planning to start with the kitchen since that’s the most cluttered room of the house. Even more cluttered than our bedroom or the utility room, in my opinion. Sometimes our weekly sitter will help straighten up in the kitchen, but it ends up becoming a disaster anyway. I need to figure out a new system soon! It doesn’t help that there’s a giant box amidst all the clutter. This box is our new oven and it will be installed a week and a half before Pesach. I don’t know if that will throw off our non-Pesach cooking, but I guess we won’t have pizza in there for a while, unless it’s made of matzah!
Also, I recently received an e-mail requesting items for a Jewish community in Ukraine. Great way to de-clutter and also perform a mitzvah. I think Hashem wanted this all to come together (my need for organization and this mitzvah opportunity that happened to stand out to me from all my other e-mails).
Anyway, FlyLady thinks that 15 minutes is enough time each day to tackle the room or area of the week. I am obsessive and need to get it all done in one straight shot, if possible. I’ll put on Pandora radio and get cracking. I’m going to attempt this while my husband is in the middle of making Journey’s End soup, but there’s room in the kitchen for both of us. It will be nice to have his company during my “mission.” Wish me luck!
Awards galore!
I am not normally big on watching award shows. I sometimes catch the Tony Awards, but only for the musical numbers. However, there is one awards show I refuse to miss (with the exception of a night on the town in Vegas) and that is the Oscars. I am a movie buff to begin with, despite the lack of time I have to watch movies these days. So even with all the other movie award shows out there, the Oscars take the cake in my book. I’ve been watching the Oscars ever since I was a kid and it was shown on a Monday night in late March. Eventually it got switched to Sundays in late March and later moved to late February/early March. I was thrilled that this started the year I got married so that I wouldn’t miss them while on my honeymoon. As I mentioned before, the only time I made an exception was for a trip to Vegas, and I watched as much as I could while getting ready to go out.
When I lived in an apartment in college, I started making chocolate chip cookies to eat that night and it became an annual tradition for me afterward. I start to get really excited in late January/early February when the nominees are announced and that carries over until the actual ceremony. One year, I tried to see all the nominated films before Oscar night. I ended up missing one though. I love watching the actors and actresses walk up the red carpet prior to the ceremony and finding out “who” they are wearing. I love how the host(s) open the ceremony, especially when they find ways to get creative. (I honestly think Neil Patrick Harris should have hosted the whole show this year though.) I love all the special tributes and seeing the nominated movies more in detail. I even love when someone unexpected wins.
Having said all that, I wanted to quickly share my thoughts about this year’s Oscars. I liked Neil Patrick Harris’ musical number. He’s so much fun! It totally made up for Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin just talking awkwardly and annoying George Clooney somehow. I liked that “Up” won for best animated feature film and best original score. I liked that Sandra Bullock won for best actress because my husband makes fun of her and “The Blind Side” even though neither of us have seen the movie and it looks really good. She gives off a performance similar to Julia Roberts in “Erin Brockovich.” I loved the John Hughes tribute. I even love how Ben Stiller dressed like an Avatar and started speaking his own version of the Na’Vi language, which came off more as Hebrew. I liked how they did the “In Memoriam” part this year, but they didn’t really show Patrick Swayze up close for TV viewers, nor did they give him as much time as the others. I like how other actors introduced the best actress and actors even though I would have liked to see more scene work rather than the little snippets at the beginning that were merged together. I only saw two of the nominated movies this year: “Avatar” and “Up.” I thought “Up” had a better chance of taking home the final prize, but I’m glad it got some major awards overall. I want to see all but two of the other nominated films. “District 9” creeped me out from what they showed and I have no interest in seeing “Ingloroius Basterds.” I’m not much for seeing Holocaust films, but I prefer ones like “Life is Beautiful” over the more violent versions of such a tragic situation. I also want to see “Crazy Heart” and “The Princess and the Frog.” “The Messenger” and "A Serious Man" seem interesting too.
Even though the Oscars were 3 ½ hours long, it didn’t drag like it has in the past. At least it felt that way to me. I’m glad they kept things brief and gave more time to show the movies being nominated, pay tribute to a legendary director and allow ample time for each winner to give a reasonably sized speech. I’m already gearing up for next year and hope the movies nominated will be another interesting selection.
When I lived in an apartment in college, I started making chocolate chip cookies to eat that night and it became an annual tradition for me afterward. I start to get really excited in late January/early February when the nominees are announced and that carries over until the actual ceremony. One year, I tried to see all the nominated films before Oscar night. I ended up missing one though. I love watching the actors and actresses walk up the red carpet prior to the ceremony and finding out “who” they are wearing. I love how the host(s) open the ceremony, especially when they find ways to get creative. (I honestly think Neil Patrick Harris should have hosted the whole show this year though.) I love all the special tributes and seeing the nominated movies more in detail. I even love when someone unexpected wins.
Having said all that, I wanted to quickly share my thoughts about this year’s Oscars. I liked Neil Patrick Harris’ musical number. He’s so much fun! It totally made up for Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin just talking awkwardly and annoying George Clooney somehow. I liked that “Up” won for best animated feature film and best original score. I liked that Sandra Bullock won for best actress because my husband makes fun of her and “The Blind Side” even though neither of us have seen the movie and it looks really good. She gives off a performance similar to Julia Roberts in “Erin Brockovich.” I loved the John Hughes tribute. I even love how Ben Stiller dressed like an Avatar and started speaking his own version of the Na’Vi language, which came off more as Hebrew. I liked how they did the “In Memoriam” part this year, but they didn’t really show Patrick Swayze up close for TV viewers, nor did they give him as much time as the others. I like how other actors introduced the best actress and actors even though I would have liked to see more scene work rather than the little snippets at the beginning that were merged together. I only saw two of the nominated movies this year: “Avatar” and “Up.” I thought “Up” had a better chance of taking home the final prize, but I’m glad it got some major awards overall. I want to see all but two of the other nominated films. “District 9” creeped me out from what they showed and I have no interest in seeing “Ingloroius Basterds.” I’m not much for seeing Holocaust films, but I prefer ones like “Life is Beautiful” over the more violent versions of such a tragic situation. I also want to see “Crazy Heart” and “The Princess and the Frog.” “The Messenger” and "A Serious Man" seem interesting too.
Even though the Oscars were 3 ½ hours long, it didn’t drag like it has in the past. At least it felt that way to me. I’m glad they kept things brief and gave more time to show the movies being nominated, pay tribute to a legendary director and allow ample time for each winner to give a reasonably sized speech. I’m already gearing up for next year and hope the movies nominated will be another interesting selection.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Keep it Gay....
Ever since I started going to midnight showings of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” I have taken an interest in gay guys. My first encounter was a crush on one of the guys from the cast I was in. He was the first positive encounter I had with a gay guy around my age. (I knew others who were older and also cool in their own right, but this was more of an actual peer.) Once we were talking on the phone and he said “I love talking to you!” I took that as a major compliment! When the show started moving around theaters and the cast started going their separate ways, I lost track of him. We reunited through Myspace and Facebook. Through his friend list, I was able to reconnect with other friends from cast with whom I had lost touch.
In 1997, I saw “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and was jealous of the relationship Julianne had with George, her gay best friend. I also loved the connection Carrie and Stanford had on “Sex and the City.” And then there was “Will and Grace,” in 1999 which I had heard of but never thought to watch. I didn’t really have any of my own gay best friends (it’s different with my friends who are lesbians, but I don’t want to discredit my friendships with them either). I think some of the guys who were in the V.C. Andrews club (that I founded in 1996) were gay, but I wasn’t hanging out with them in person either. I hung out with one gay guy during the summer of 1998. We connected through an online group about "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind" and he came up for Pride weekend to hang out. He was nice but I didn't like his boyfriend much. We fell out of touch shortly after that weekend, but it was fun hanging out with a gay guy even for a short period of time.
Around Halloween in 1999, one of my closest male friends came out to me. I think he was worried about how it would affect our friendship and waited 2 years to tell me. Once he did, it completely took our friendship to a whole new level. I first told him how much I wanted a gay best friend and compared our friendship to “Will and Grace” (which I hadn’t even started watching yet at the time he came out). He was in college one state away, but we hung out at breaks and when he was in town for a weekend. I also went to visit him at school a few times during the following year. His coming out to me was a positive influence on my life. He helped me realize (in ways that my mom never could) that my relationship with my boyfriend at the time was going nowhere. I had more to talk about with him than some of my girlfriends. When he finished up school for the summer, we hung out all the time and went to clubs after he turned 21. We would go to shows together, as well. He was even my date for a wedding that summer. We also went to the Pride parade together with one of his friends (who now lives closer to me, but whom I haven't hung out with yet). We still have a few laughs over Pride weekend that year. I even got him interested in "Too Much Light..." When he left for school that fall, I felt a void and missed him a lot. However, it was good preparation for all the years we’d be living in different states in the future. We still got to hang out during his school breaks. I even went on a road trip to Louisville with him that fall. We still laugh about some of the things that happened during that trip. We have a lot of fun inside jokes like that though.
In the winter of 2000, when I started my second job, I became friends with another gay guy through work. Just to backtrack a little, there was a gay guy at my previous job whom I adored and had fun talking to. We got together outside of work every so often, but usually with our mutual friend (the receptionist I talked about in “Get a Job”). My mom was teasing me that the only guys I seemed to attract were gay, but I didn’t mind. He ended up following me to my company later on, but we lost track of each other after he left. In any case, it was my second week at the new job and there was a formal holiday party coming up that weekend. He and I decided to go together. He came over to my place first to help me get ready (as stereotypes would have it, he was a better dresser than me) and won me over immediately when he put my “Rent” CD on and started lip-syncing to “Take Me or Leave Me.” On the way to the party, he scored more brownie points by putting the “Coyote Ugly” soundtrack into the CD player. After that, we hung out a lot and watched movies and musicals, as well as went to gay clubs on weekends. I was worried that I was replacing my “Will”, but he was more of a “Jack.” He even did the “Jack Face” if I did a good enough job insulting him (all for fun). I introduced him to my “Will” that spring and we all had fun hanging out. They both knew me better than most boyfriends had in the past and bonded by making fun of my quirks. They were doing it out of love, so I didn’t mind. We all went to the Pride Parade together that summer, as well as a lot of gay clubs and other shows. I also got “Jack” interested in “Too Much Light…” (we even went to see it in DC recently). “Will” and “Jack” are the only two who are allowed to tease me about Hume Cronyn (even though it means that I was right about something).
When my husband and I started dating, I made sure that he got to meet both my gay guy friends. The timing worked out well because “Jack” was moving out of state. I stopped watching “Queer as Folk” around that time because it reminded me of him and made me even sadder about him moving. (Oddly enough, his Super Bowl party in 2002 was a catalyst that led to events for me to meet my husband the way I did.) Both guys attended our wedding and came in from out of state for it. “Will” stood up in our wedding and also sang during part of the ceremony and toward the end of the reception. After that point, I still got to see “Will” every so often, but it would be almost 5 years before I got to see “Jack” again. “Will” lived in NJ at this time and my sister and I went to visit him in the fall of 2004. That was a fun weekend. He took us all over NYC. (We were also with one of my close friends who is a lesbian. It was our big gay weekend.) When my husband and I moved to NJ (while he was living in TX and later back in Chicago), he visited us a few times when he was in the area. One time, I met up with him for breakfast in the city. We also saw him on our trips to visit Chicago. He always found a way to make time for us, even if it was only for a few hours.
I finally got to see “Jack” again when I went to DC for the first time in November 2008. It was so great to be able to give him a big hug in person, even though he still knew how to drive me crazy. :) We hung out for a while, but the kids were with us too. We couldn’t really go clubbing. I did get to see his house though! After we moved to MD, we met up with him for breakfast on my older son’s birthday. Then I saw him again when he took me to see “Too Much Light” this past December. I’m hoping to see him again soon. It’s nice to know that he lives close by and I hope to have some “girl” time with him soon. :)
In the meantime, my sister has become close friends with “Will.” They hang out all the time. I’m happy that they are close though. A friend had asked me if I was jealous of their friendship. I haven’t told her this yet, but I did share my answer with “Will.” I just explained that I knew we’d still be friends no matter how many miles were between us or how often we got to hang out. We communicate a lot and we still have a connection that will not be broken over time or distance. I’m happy that he and my sister get to hang out a lot because their friendship makes her happy. I mentioned how we’d hang out more often if I still lived in Chicago, but I made the choices in my life that led me to where I am now. I have no reason to be selfish about whom he hangs out with while I’m living farther away. And if I need my gay men time, “Jack” is nearby, as well as “Will’s” friend (from our first Pride Parade together).
At the Chicago Pride Parade in 2001 with "Will" and "Jack" (from left to right, with me in the middle)
In 1997, I saw “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and was jealous of the relationship Julianne had with George, her gay best friend. I also loved the connection Carrie and Stanford had on “Sex and the City.” And then there was “Will and Grace,” in 1999 which I had heard of but never thought to watch. I didn’t really have any of my own gay best friends (it’s different with my friends who are lesbians, but I don’t want to discredit my friendships with them either). I think some of the guys who were in the V.C. Andrews club (that I founded in 1996) were gay, but I wasn’t hanging out with them in person either. I hung out with one gay guy during the summer of 1998. We connected through an online group about "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind" and he came up for Pride weekend to hang out. He was nice but I didn't like his boyfriend much. We fell out of touch shortly after that weekend, but it was fun hanging out with a gay guy even for a short period of time.
Around Halloween in 1999, one of my closest male friends came out to me. I think he was worried about how it would affect our friendship and waited 2 years to tell me. Once he did, it completely took our friendship to a whole new level. I first told him how much I wanted a gay best friend and compared our friendship to “Will and Grace” (which I hadn’t even started watching yet at the time he came out). He was in college one state away, but we hung out at breaks and when he was in town for a weekend. I also went to visit him at school a few times during the following year. His coming out to me was a positive influence on my life. He helped me realize (in ways that my mom never could) that my relationship with my boyfriend at the time was going nowhere. I had more to talk about with him than some of my girlfriends. When he finished up school for the summer, we hung out all the time and went to clubs after he turned 21. We would go to shows together, as well. He was even my date for a wedding that summer. We also went to the Pride parade together with one of his friends (who now lives closer to me, but whom I haven't hung out with yet). We still have a few laughs over Pride weekend that year. I even got him interested in "Too Much Light..." When he left for school that fall, I felt a void and missed him a lot. However, it was good preparation for all the years we’d be living in different states in the future. We still got to hang out during his school breaks. I even went on a road trip to Louisville with him that fall. We still laugh about some of the things that happened during that trip. We have a lot of fun inside jokes like that though.
In the winter of 2000, when I started my second job, I became friends with another gay guy through work. Just to backtrack a little, there was a gay guy at my previous job whom I adored and had fun talking to. We got together outside of work every so often, but usually with our mutual friend (the receptionist I talked about in “Get a Job”). My mom was teasing me that the only guys I seemed to attract were gay, but I didn’t mind. He ended up following me to my company later on, but we lost track of each other after he left. In any case, it was my second week at the new job and there was a formal holiday party coming up that weekend. He and I decided to go together. He came over to my place first to help me get ready (as stereotypes would have it, he was a better dresser than me) and won me over immediately when he put my “Rent” CD on and started lip-syncing to “Take Me or Leave Me.” On the way to the party, he scored more brownie points by putting the “Coyote Ugly” soundtrack into the CD player. After that, we hung out a lot and watched movies and musicals, as well as went to gay clubs on weekends. I was worried that I was replacing my “Will”, but he was more of a “Jack.” He even did the “Jack Face” if I did a good enough job insulting him (all for fun). I introduced him to my “Will” that spring and we all had fun hanging out. They both knew me better than most boyfriends had in the past and bonded by making fun of my quirks. They were doing it out of love, so I didn’t mind. We all went to the Pride Parade together that summer, as well as a lot of gay clubs and other shows. I also got “Jack” interested in “Too Much Light…” (we even went to see it in DC recently). “Will” and “Jack” are the only two who are allowed to tease me about Hume Cronyn (even though it means that I was right about something).
When my husband and I started dating, I made sure that he got to meet both my gay guy friends. The timing worked out well because “Jack” was moving out of state. I stopped watching “Queer as Folk” around that time because it reminded me of him and made me even sadder about him moving. (Oddly enough, his Super Bowl party in 2002 was a catalyst that led to events for me to meet my husband the way I did.) Both guys attended our wedding and came in from out of state for it. “Will” stood up in our wedding and also sang during part of the ceremony and toward the end of the reception. After that point, I still got to see “Will” every so often, but it would be almost 5 years before I got to see “Jack” again. “Will” lived in NJ at this time and my sister and I went to visit him in the fall of 2004. That was a fun weekend. He took us all over NYC. (We were also with one of my close friends who is a lesbian. It was our big gay weekend.) When my husband and I moved to NJ (while he was living in TX and later back in Chicago), he visited us a few times when he was in the area. One time, I met up with him for breakfast in the city. We also saw him on our trips to visit Chicago. He always found a way to make time for us, even if it was only for a few hours.
I finally got to see “Jack” again when I went to DC for the first time in November 2008. It was so great to be able to give him a big hug in person, even though he still knew how to drive me crazy. :) We hung out for a while, but the kids were with us too. We couldn’t really go clubbing. I did get to see his house though! After we moved to MD, we met up with him for breakfast on my older son’s birthday. Then I saw him again when he took me to see “Too Much Light” this past December. I’m hoping to see him again soon. It’s nice to know that he lives close by and I hope to have some “girl” time with him soon. :)
In the meantime, my sister has become close friends with “Will.” They hang out all the time. I’m happy that they are close though. A friend had asked me if I was jealous of their friendship. I haven’t told her this yet, but I did share my answer with “Will.” I just explained that I knew we’d still be friends no matter how many miles were between us or how often we got to hang out. We communicate a lot and we still have a connection that will not be broken over time or distance. I’m happy that he and my sister get to hang out a lot because their friendship makes her happy. I mentioned how we’d hang out more often if I still lived in Chicago, but I made the choices in my life that led me to where I am now. I have no reason to be selfish about whom he hangs out with while I’m living farther away. And if I need my gay men time, “Jack” is nearby, as well as “Will’s” friend (from our first Pride Parade together).
At the Chicago Pride Parade in 2001 with "Will" and "Jack" (from left to right, with me in the middle)
We are Family!
I have a few friends who knit and blog and we've decided to embark on a blog project that has nothing to do with knitting. We're going to take turns coming up with a topic every Thursday and we each have to blog about it by the end of that day and post links to each other's blogs so that people can see our different perspectives on the same topic.
Check out the backstory about how the project was conceived and how we all came together.
Here are the other blogs:
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Charmingly Random
Desperate Madness
This week’s topic comes from Charmingly Random:
Tell me how you were raised - are there any lessons that your parent(s) taught you that you didn't appreciate when you were younger, but understand now that you're an adult?
Here goes:
This topic was very interesting food for thought on which to chew.
I like how I was raised. I can’t say that things were perfect from every angle. (My mom and I got in some huge fights every so often, but who doesn’t fight with their parents?) However, I liked that my parents cared and were involved in both my sister’s and my lives. We did a lot of things as a family: vacations, dinners out, seeing musicals, going to movies a lot, getting haircuts, being dragged on every errand whether we liked it or not, spending time with extended family, etc. When we were younger, we used to always have meals with my parents around the kitchen table. When our dad got home, we’d ask him if he found anyone a job (he was a recruiter). Then we’d sit down to a home-cooked meal. When my sister and I were involved with after-school activities, our parents could always be counted on for rides home from school. While they paid for a lot of things for us, they also encouraged us to get jobs and made sure we would become responsible adults before they sent us off to college.
When I took interest in a TV show, my mom would take interest too and we’d joke around about stuff that happened on the show. (Such as “Steeempy, you eeediot!”) When my sister and I became close friends with someone, my parents would practically adopt them as a family member (only if they liked them too). When we were involved with our different extracurricular interests, they would come to our competitions or shows. They visited us both in college and sent care packages a lot. There was a funny instance at overnight camp when my sister and I realized that they wrote us the same letter. We joked about it later. Our dad spent countless hours teaching us how to drive and hiring teachers for extra lessons outside of school until we got it right. He also took us for our licenses. Our parents spent a fortune on orthodontist visits so that we could both have nice looking teeth. They helped us with many of our school projects even when we told them about them at the last minute. (My dad mentioned my grandpa doing the same thing for him as a kid, as well.) If we had trouble with a subject in school, they worked with us until we understood it, even if it meant getting tutoring services.
Since my dad lived in a female dominated household, he went with the flow and bonded with us in his own ways, whether it was through Indian Princesses or “date” nights at our favorite Chinese restaurant. His favorite motto was “Dad can fix anything.” He taught this to us from day one. I would still call him when I was living on my own and something went wrong in my condo. He and I rarely ever fought, even when we disagreed. When I was a kid, I would go to watch him bowl on his league night. He and his bowling teammates would teach me hand symbols for strikes, spares and gutter balls. Later, I got into bowling for myself and we competed as a team once. Eventually, I went to watch him bowl for his league again when he and my husband were on the same team.
My mom took us to the mall all the time and was our fashion consultant until we were old enough to shop by ourselves. Even when we butted heads, we still were able to have heart-to-heart discussions. She spent a lot of time teaching us how to cook, which is why I love baking so much. She was the room mother for various parties when I was in elementary school. I think she also gave me the reading “bug.” She and I still love reading and we always recommend books to each other. I think our book tastes are even more similar now. She was the one (along with my sister) who helped me pick out my wedding dress. She also took over as "bridezilla" so I didn't have to be one. We had our disagreements in regard to some things about the wedding, but it all worked out in the end.
I never felt the need to drink (even after I turned 21, I kept it to a minimum), smoke or do drugs. I could attribute this to being raised with good values or just being picky enough about smells and tastes to not want to forage that path. The most rebellious thing I did, if you can even call it that, was participate in midnight showings of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (which they even supported once they knew how passionate I was about it).
I don’t know what “lesson” I’ve really learned from all this. Maybe just about what it takes to be a good parent and stay involved in my kids’ lives. I already feel like I am doing that. Especially with my older son who has hearing loss…people always tell me what a difference my involvement has made for him, in a good way. I love teaching them how to cook, getting together with extended family, going out for meals together, reading with them, taking my older son to movies, being a room mother (even though it done differently now), playing skeeball or going bowling, shopping for their clothes, helping with "homework," teaching them about responsibility (in the simplest form possible for their age level), etc. We’re always guaranteed a special meal at home together every Friday night, but we make sure to sit and eat with them at dinnertime during the week, as well. Now that they’re getting bigger, they can communicate with us, which makes it even nicer.
My parents are also involved in my kids' lives, just like how our grandparents were involved in our lives (my sister's and mine, that is). They always have toys for them at their house and they visit whenever possible. They send care packages on occasion. They love spending time with the kids. They always call to see how they're doing. Now that we talk on Skype, they're even more connected despite the miles between us.
Overall, I am thankful to my parents for being involved in my life (while also allowing me to be independent) and I have a lot of good memories of our fun times together.
Check out the backstory about how the project was conceived and how we all came together.
Here are the other blogs:
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Charmingly Random
Desperate Madness
This week’s topic comes from Charmingly Random:
Tell me how you were raised - are there any lessons that your parent(s) taught you that you didn't appreciate when you were younger, but understand now that you're an adult?
Here goes:
This topic was very interesting food for thought on which to chew.
I like how I was raised. I can’t say that things were perfect from every angle. (My mom and I got in some huge fights every so often, but who doesn’t fight with their parents?) However, I liked that my parents cared and were involved in both my sister’s and my lives. We did a lot of things as a family: vacations, dinners out, seeing musicals, going to movies a lot, getting haircuts, being dragged on every errand whether we liked it or not, spending time with extended family, etc. When we were younger, we used to always have meals with my parents around the kitchen table. When our dad got home, we’d ask him if he found anyone a job (he was a recruiter). Then we’d sit down to a home-cooked meal. When my sister and I were involved with after-school activities, our parents could always be counted on for rides home from school. While they paid for a lot of things for us, they also encouraged us to get jobs and made sure we would become responsible adults before they sent us off to college.
When I took interest in a TV show, my mom would take interest too and we’d joke around about stuff that happened on the show. (Such as “Steeempy, you eeediot!”) When my sister and I became close friends with someone, my parents would practically adopt them as a family member (only if they liked them too). When we were involved with our different extracurricular interests, they would come to our competitions or shows. They visited us both in college and sent care packages a lot. There was a funny instance at overnight camp when my sister and I realized that they wrote us the same letter. We joked about it later. Our dad spent countless hours teaching us how to drive and hiring teachers for extra lessons outside of school until we got it right. He also took us for our licenses. Our parents spent a fortune on orthodontist visits so that we could both have nice looking teeth. They helped us with many of our school projects even when we told them about them at the last minute. (My dad mentioned my grandpa doing the same thing for him as a kid, as well.) If we had trouble with a subject in school, they worked with us until we understood it, even if it meant getting tutoring services.
Since my dad lived in a female dominated household, he went with the flow and bonded with us in his own ways, whether it was through Indian Princesses or “date” nights at our favorite Chinese restaurant. His favorite motto was “Dad can fix anything.” He taught this to us from day one. I would still call him when I was living on my own and something went wrong in my condo. He and I rarely ever fought, even when we disagreed. When I was a kid, I would go to watch him bowl on his league night. He and his bowling teammates would teach me hand symbols for strikes, spares and gutter balls. Later, I got into bowling for myself and we competed as a team once. Eventually, I went to watch him bowl for his league again when he and my husband were on the same team.
My mom took us to the mall all the time and was our fashion consultant until we were old enough to shop by ourselves. Even when we butted heads, we still were able to have heart-to-heart discussions. She spent a lot of time teaching us how to cook, which is why I love baking so much. She was the room mother for various parties when I was in elementary school. I think she also gave me the reading “bug.” She and I still love reading and we always recommend books to each other. I think our book tastes are even more similar now. She was the one (along with my sister) who helped me pick out my wedding dress. She also took over as "bridezilla" so I didn't have to be one. We had our disagreements in regard to some things about the wedding, but it all worked out in the end.
I never felt the need to drink (even after I turned 21, I kept it to a minimum), smoke or do drugs. I could attribute this to being raised with good values or just being picky enough about smells and tastes to not want to forage that path. The most rebellious thing I did, if you can even call it that, was participate in midnight showings of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (which they even supported once they knew how passionate I was about it).
I don’t know what “lesson” I’ve really learned from all this. Maybe just about what it takes to be a good parent and stay involved in my kids’ lives. I already feel like I am doing that. Especially with my older son who has hearing loss…people always tell me what a difference my involvement has made for him, in a good way. I love teaching them how to cook, getting together with extended family, going out for meals together, reading with them, taking my older son to movies, being a room mother (even though it done differently now), playing skeeball or going bowling, shopping for their clothes, helping with "homework," teaching them about responsibility (in the simplest form possible for their age level), etc. We’re always guaranteed a special meal at home together every Friday night, but we make sure to sit and eat with them at dinnertime during the week, as well. Now that they’re getting bigger, they can communicate with us, which makes it even nicer.
My parents are also involved in my kids' lives, just like how our grandparents were involved in our lives (my sister's and mine, that is). They always have toys for them at their house and they visit whenever possible. They send care packages on occasion. They love spending time with the kids. They always call to see how they're doing. Now that we talk on Skype, they're even more connected despite the miles between us.
Overall, I am thankful to my parents for being involved in my life (while also allowing me to be independent) and I have a lot of good memories of our fun times together.
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