We are Family!

I have a few friends who knit and blog and we've decided to embark on a blog project that has nothing to do with knitting. We're going to take turns coming up with a topic every Thursday and we each have to blog about it by the end of that day and post links to each other's blogs so that people can see our different perspectives on the same topic.

Check out the backstory about how the project was conceived and how we all came together.

Here are the other blogs:
Froggie Knits Like Crazy
Charmingly Random
Desperate Madness

This week’s topic comes from Charmingly Random:
Tell me how you were raised - are there any lessons that your parent(s) taught you that you didn't appreciate when you were younger, but understand now that you're an adult?

Here goes:
This topic was very interesting food for thought on which to chew.

I like how I was raised. I can’t say that things were perfect from every angle. (My mom and I got in some huge fights every so often, but who doesn’t fight with their parents?) However, I liked that my parents cared and were involved in both my sister’s and my lives. We did a lot of things as a family: vacations, dinners out, seeing musicals, going to movies a lot, getting haircuts, being dragged on every errand whether we liked it or not, spending time with extended family, etc. When we were younger, we used to always have meals with my parents around the kitchen table. When our dad got home, we’d ask him if he found anyone a job (he was a recruiter). Then we’d sit down to a home-cooked meal. When my sister and I were involved with after-school activities, our parents could always be counted on for rides home from school. While they paid for a lot of things for us, they also encouraged us to get jobs and made sure we would become responsible adults before they sent us off to college.

When I took interest in a TV show, my mom would take interest too and we’d joke around about stuff that happened on the show. (Such as “Steeempy, you eeediot!”) When my sister and I became close friends with someone, my parents would practically adopt them as a family member (only if they liked them too). When we were involved with our different extracurricular interests, they would come to our competitions or shows. They visited us both in college and sent care packages a lot. There was a funny instance at overnight camp when my sister and I realized that they wrote us the same letter. We joked about it later. Our dad spent countless hours teaching us how to drive and hiring teachers for extra lessons outside of school until we got it right. He also took us for our licenses. Our parents spent a fortune on orthodontist visits so that we could both have nice looking teeth. They helped us with many of our school projects even when we told them about them at the last minute. (My dad mentioned my grandpa doing the same thing for him as a kid, as well.) If we had trouble with a subject in school, they worked with us until we understood it, even if it meant getting tutoring services.

Since my dad lived in a female dominated household, he went with the flow and bonded with us in his own ways, whether it was through Indian Princesses or “date” nights at our favorite Chinese restaurant. His favorite motto was “Dad can fix anything.” He taught this to us from day one. I would still call him when I was living on my own and something went wrong in my condo. He and I rarely ever fought, even when we disagreed. When I was a kid, I would go to watch him bowl on his league night. He and his bowling teammates would teach me hand symbols for strikes, spares and gutter balls. Later, I got into bowling for myself and we competed as a team once. Eventually, I went to watch him bowl for his league again when he and my husband were on the same team.

My mom took us to the mall all the time and was our fashion consultant until we were old enough to shop by ourselves. Even when we butted heads, we still were able to have heart-to-heart discussions. She spent a lot of time teaching us how to cook, which is why I love baking so much. She was the room mother for various parties when I was in elementary school. I think she also gave me the reading “bug.” She and I still love reading and we always recommend books to each other. I think our book tastes are even more similar now. She was the one (along with my sister) who helped me pick out my wedding dress. She also took over as "bridezilla" so I didn't have to be one. We had our disagreements in regard to some things about the wedding, but it all worked out in the end.

I never felt the need to drink (even after I turned 21, I kept it to a minimum), smoke or do drugs. I could attribute this to being raised with good values or just being picky enough about smells and tastes to not want to forage that path. The most rebellious thing I did, if you can even call it that, was participate in midnight showings of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” (which they even supported once they knew how passionate I was about it).

I don’t know what “lesson” I’ve really learned from all this. Maybe just about what it takes to be a good parent and stay involved in my kids’ lives. I already feel like I am doing that. Especially with my older son who has hearing loss…people always tell me what a difference my involvement has made for him, in a good way. I love teaching them how to cook, getting together with extended family, going out for meals together, reading with them, taking my older son to movies, being a room mother (even though it done differently now), playing skeeball or going bowling, shopping for their clothes, helping with "homework," teaching them about responsibility (in the simplest form possible for their age level), etc. We’re always guaranteed a special meal at home together every Friday night, but we make sure to sit and eat with them at dinnertime during the week, as well. Now that they’re getting bigger, they can communicate with us, which makes it even nicer.

My parents are also involved in my kids' lives, just like how our grandparents were involved in our lives (my sister's and mine, that is). They always have toys for them at their house and they visit whenever possible. They send care packages on occasion. They love spending time with the kids. They always call to see how they're doing. Now that we talk on Skype, they're even more connected despite the miles between us.

Overall, I am thankful to my parents for being involved in my life (while also allowing me to be independent) and I have a lot of good memories of our fun times together.