We'll always have "Moving Violations"

As promised, I’m going to talk about my guy friends from time to time. So I’ve decided to shake things up again for this week's Friendship Friday post by talking about one such friend. Oddly enough, they have the same initials as my friend from last week: S.S.

I met S.S. through some family friends, as they set us up for potential mate selection: In other words, they wanted us to date. I had just come out of a long relationship from college and wanted to explore all the world had to offer, so I took them up on this set-up. He was a nice, Jewish guy, after all! S.S. and I started e-mailing and then eventually talked on the phone for several hours at a time. Then we finally met in person in late June of 2000. We again spent hours talking (I can’t even remember what we talked about) until Barnes and Noble closed. (I know this sounds familiar because I also met my husband the first time at a B&N almost 2 years later.) We had forgotten to go out for dinner! We continued to talk, e-mail and get together after that. A few weeks later, he took me to the Taste of Chicago (my first time there) and we spent the whole day hanging out in the city. Then we played a random game on the train ride back where we had to name movies. I think that evening is what started the dating portion of our relationship.

We hung out often in that first month and went out for movie and dinner dates. I think we went bowling occasionally, as well. For my birthday, he got me a VHS of “Moving Violations,” which is a movie we both liked a lot. It was one of those extremely hard to get movies, so I was very touched and surprised by his efforts in obtaining it. (That fall, I got him Star Wars Monopoly for his birthday because he was a big “Star Wars” fan.)

During the rest of the summer, I thought I would be able to say the three words to him but he didn’t let me. I think at that point I realized I was rebounding and I think that opened some lines of communication for us. In the long run, I was actually glad that he stopped me from saying those words. It made it easier to just go on dates and enjoy each others’ company. We continued to go to dinner and movies and sometimes just hung out at my condo and played board games. Other times we walked around the mall. Eventually, we reached a place where we didn’t have much to talk about, so seeing a lot of movies worked well for us. He also got me involved in a bowling league (which was a catalyst for things to come). By that November, we both realized that we were better off as friends and that we still wanted to bowl together.

After we cleared that up, we talked more than we did while we were dating. We’d hang out together comfortably and our friendship was nice and easy. When we dated, he never wanted to go to Hooter’s together, but when we were friends, he was fine with it. So on one of our first times out as friends, that’s where we went for dinner. Throughout 2001, we’d get together from time to time and we’d e-mail often. He’d tell me about girls he liked and it didn’t faze me at all. I’d even give him dating advice. I asked for his advice while I was trying to meet guys. When he got into a serious relationship toward the end of that year, I was actually excited to meet his girlfriend.

After I met my husband, I introduced him to S.S. and they ended up bowling together for a while. We’d all get together for dinner, also including other friends. He’d come to our parties too. He was even at our wedding. Eventually, he broke up with the girlfriend from 2001 and started dating someone else. They were a perfect match and got married almost 2 years ago. (I went to his wedding when I was in town for a week.) I’m really happy for him. I don’t keep up with him as much as I used to, but we still enjoy catching up on each other’s lives via e-mail and possibly getting together when my family and I are in Illinois. He’s met my older son and I hope he’ll get to meet my younger son too.

Had it not been for us meeting and him getting me into bowling, I wouldn’t be where I am today. (After he got me started, I joined another league with some friends the following fall and that’s the group I was pre-bowling for the night I told my husband’s friend about how I had to bowl the next morning. It’s a chain of events!) I’m glad we’ve been friends these past 10 years and I look forward to catching up with him soon. In the meantime, I know we’ll always have “Moving Violations.”