We'll always have pieces of E.T.

For week 2 of Friendship Friday, I have chosen A.S. as my friend of the day.

I met A.S. when I was a freshman in high school. We were at a NFTY (North American Federation of Temple Youth) retreat over winter break. I would see her around at meals and a few of the events, but we just smiled at each other and moved on. Then we were making candles and we were the last two people to leave. So we started talking. We had an instant bond because of our naturally curly hair and we took it from there. By the end of the retreat, we were inseparable. We had so much to joke and laugh about. One of our first duties as best friends was to come up with lists of unusual Barbie and Ken dolls. We would send each other letters (before e-mail came along) with pictures of the crazy Barbie situations we came up with. We also joked about McDonald’s a lot and I remember bursting into laughter at one of the events (at the retreat) just because she said “Grimace.” Our jokes started to include V.C. Andrews books, “Sesame Street,” and a slew of other things, such as characters she made up for fun. We would make tapes for each other with songs we deemed to be “demented.” One of my favorites that she taped for me was “Sandbox” by King Missile.

A few months later, she came to visit during spring break. We took her to some fun places, including Ed Debevic’s. It was a blast to hang out with her again and we could not stop laughing over anything and everything. We continued our correspondence between the times we got together. I got to take the bus by myself to visit her that summer. We lived a few hours apart; she was in Madison, WI (not far from the college campus) while I was in the Chicago suburbs. We met up again later in the summer at another NFTY retreat. However, she got kicked out for standing her ground over a T-shirt that some people in positions of authority deemed inappropriate. I was sad over her departure, but proud of her for standing her ground and being an individual. She had more guts than I did.

Our friendship continued to blossom and flourish over the years we were in high school. We sent thousands of letters to each other and did monthly phone calls. During senior year of high school, she introduced me to “Rocky Horror.” (I knew about the movie and had seen it a while back, but never in the theater with audience participation.) She even went to see it with me a few times. She also introduced me to some other friends with whom I am still in contact. Whenever we had the chance, we would visit each other. This was usually during summer or winter break from high school and then college. She was always dynamic and a lot of fun to be around. I wasn’t the only one drawn to her presence.

During freshman year of college, she came out of the closet and announced she was a lesbian. It was the first time a friend had ever come out to me before. (I knew people who were gay around that time, but their outings occurred before I met them.) Her revelation actually helped prepare me when another friend came out shortly after she did. It has not changed or affected our friendship and I was glad that she could be honest with me. Other people actually saw it coming before I did and I didn’t believe them at the time.

One of the times that I visited her on a summer break, she and I were making pasta for dinner and I added chunks of garlic to flavor it up. Her dad bit into a piece of garlic and asked what it was. A.S. said it was “pieces of E.T.” (she had an obsession with E.T.). I found that hilarious and we still bring it up from time to time.

A.S. is just a fun and fascinating girl to have as a friend. I consider myself lucky to be as close with her as I am. She is fluent in Yiddish and also performs in a Yiddish theater troupe. She studied library science and now works for a library. She seems to have interesting experiences wherever she goes and always finds a way to leave her mark.

She has been there for some big moments in my life. The first was my high school graduation. Next was when she was in town the first weekend after I had Lasik eye surgery. Then she came to visit after I moved into the condo. She also came to my wedding and my younger son’s bris. My sister and I visited her when she was living in NY. We had a fun weekend staying at her place. When I moved to NJ, we got to see each other more often. Not as often as if she were living right next door, but more than we had over the past few years. While I was sad to move away from her, I know we’re in contact often enough that we stay in each others' lives. She occasionally comes to Maryland for Yiddish events, so I’m hoping we’ll be able to coordinate schedules one of those times. In the end, no matter where we go or how often we get to hang out, I know we'll always have pieces of E.T.