In my life

Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about three years, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

We will be posting bi-weekly as life keeps getting in the way.

Moma Rock chose this week's topic: Write about something ugly — war, fear, hate, cruelty, etc.–but find the beauty (silver lining) in it or something good that comes out of it.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

When I got this topic, I decided that there is way too much talk about hatred post-election. So I decided to keep it slightly “lighter” and use situations from my personal life instead.

Childbirth:

It’s so ugly, I did it three times! Seriously though, pregnancy starts out ugly if you do not have the rare fortune of not experiencing morning sickness. However, we’re told that morning sickness allows us to know that the baby is in there and growing. I had it somewhat bad the first time, as the Chicago winter air would make me sick as soon as I stepped outside. I also felt a deep-seated nausea all the time and kept a bottle of Sprite and a package of saltines nearby. The second time around, it was very mild. The only time it really acted up was when we lived in this money pit of a rental house in NJ and there was a sewage problem. The third time around was a nightmare. I almost hated eating because I knew whatever I consumed would come up when I “coughed in the potty.” (That’s what my younger son called my frequent bathroom visits.)

Then there’s the delivery. First of all, I hate getting IVs put in and I had to have it done all three times, whether I needed Pitocin or not. Plus, doctors or nurses checking how dilated I was felt so uncomfortable in the throes of labor pains. The only relief was an epidural, which also felt painful to start off. Then there’s the potential of going #2 in the process of delivery. (Yes, this does happen and women should not be ashamed. We’re told to “poop out the baby.”) Don’t even get me started on the blood, or the feel of the placenta coming out. And if stitches are needed, that’s awful too. The epidural does NOT take away from that feeling! If you ever want to curb teen pregnancy, show them a video of someone giving birth. I had to watch that in health class once and it was eye-opening for sure!

However, in the end I had three beautiful babies whom I am more in love with every single day as they continue to grow and flourish.

So worth the morning sickness and labor pains :)

Fights between friends:

There’s a reason there’s a book called My Other Ex (which I still need to read). Close female friendships are sacred and when there’s a fight, it’s extremely upsetting.

My BFF and I have been together 29 years, so naturally we’ve had our share of arguments. It’s natural and can happen as easily as fights between spouses, siblings, parents and children, etc. I still hate when they happen. There was a time when we stopped talking for about half a year (maybe more). However, we found our way back into the friendship. It took a lot of time and nurturing, but we got back to a really good place after a while. We’ve had other fights since then, but the time off didn’t last as long (maybe a week or so, at the most). And after each fight, we became closer and more in tune with what each other needs out of the friendship. Not to jinx things, but 2016 has been a good year for us, which was kicked off by an awesome ‘80s and ‘90s concert. I have learned from past fights that I need to be a better listener and more supportive. Even though we don’t see each other as often as we would like (when is teleportation going to be invented?!?), we stay close by e-mails, texts, and Google Hangouts (which we need to get back on track with). We’re doing something special to celebrate 30 years in 2017, but that’s all I’m going to say for now.

My BFF and I at 12 and 30-something

In other cases, some friends just drop off the face of the planet without a reason. It’s definitely hurtful and hard to cope with sometimes, but then other friendships come into my life that are even more special to me. Maybe it’s just meant to be that way.

"I see dead people."

When I first started my job almost seven years ago, I was handed the task of reading through death notices to find donors who have passed away. Since some may have set up major gifts to go into effect upon their passing, I was required to be vigilant about staying on top of this information and reporting it to my team. Needless to say, I can’t just magically ask Legacy.com to find me only Jewish death notices, so I need to look through a large group of them almost every day. Needless to say, it gets depressing. I hate coming across death notices for babies, children (as well as teens and young adults), or people around my age. I get morbidly curious and look up the reason for their death. Some of the reasons are too awful to comprehend. (“You hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable.”--“It’s Quiet Uptown,” Hamilton)

The beautiful side of this is seeing some of the tributes to loved ones. It’s nice to see when someone has a lot of family who will cherish their memories. I like looking at the birthday or death anniversary messages to people who have passed long ago. While it is all sad, it’s nice to know that people have left legacies and are not forgotten many years after they have departed from this world.

Tribute to my paternal grandma after she passed away.

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While there's a lot of awfulness going on in the world at this time and we want to make sense of it by trying to find the beauty, sometimes it's important to look within to find it in the little things that may be ugly at first.

Somewhere in the middle...

Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about two years, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Discuss.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I personally consider myself to be more of an introvert. If my blog post from last spring about my guilty pleasure is any indication of that, then you would agree. I treasure my alone time and prefer to be with a book vs. actually talking to people. I even bring a book with me to the break room at work. I sometimes will chat with the people who are there at the same time, but it's mostly small talk and then I go back to reading. I make exceptions for people I consider as close friends though.

I'm only really an extrovert online, but it's this persona that makes me feel more comfortable, as I feel so awkward when I have to talk a lot vs. write out my thoughts.

Having said that, I decided to take some online quizzes to assess if I'm more of an introvert or extrovert. Most of them pointed toward the introvert end of the scale, but a few placed me right in the middle, as an ambivert. That's a new term for me, but I can see why the quizzes would come up with such a result.

Here goes....

From an 81 question quiz on Psychology Today:

According to your results you appear to be the type of person who enjoys socializing with both large and smaller, more intimate groups of people. You don't mind being around big crowds, but that doesn't mean you'll want to crash every party you're invited to. Having an active social life and extending your network of friends is relatively important to you, but it isn't the most crucial thing. You've managed to strike a great balance between actively involving yourself in your larger social network, and spending some quality time with a few intimate friends. Although you may not always be the conversation-starter or the "life of the party", you are generally a very outgoing individual, whether among friends or people you are less familiar with.

(I didn't feel like purchasing the full report, so that's all I'm going to get from this one.)

I took tests from Quiet Revolution and Fortune and got the same result from both:

AMBIVERT

Based on your responses, you’re an ambivert. That means you fall smack in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. In many ways, ambiverts have the best of both worlds, able to tap into the strengths of both introverts and extroverts as needed. See below for information on introverts and extroverts; you’ll likely see part of yourself in both.

The Introvert-Extrovert Test says that I'm Somewhat Introverted

What does it mean?

This test points to the fact that you tend to be more introverted than extroverted. This would point to the fact that you like taking time for yourself, but do know how to have fun. Your friends are very close, and you consider most other people your peers.

I then took a test from Psychologies (UK). It had interesting questions, but the one about my reaction to losing my car keys wasn't really a fit for any of the answers, as I would ask someone for help if I felt really stuck.

You are more of a public introvert and private extrovert
Within your circle of family and friends, you are completely at ease and it’s often you who takes the lead to organise outings, dinners, vacations, etc. However, as soon as you are in a public or professional setting you become rather inhibited. You don’t feel in tune with what you would qualify as agitation, rivalry or vainglory and this can sometimes appear to others as a kind of hidden criticism or a lack of ambition. In fact, your pragmatic temperament helps you successfully manage problems as and when they arise. You aren’t the kind to calculate your every move and plan every inch of your life, and you find the sphere of family and friends to be much more gratifying to the professional sphere. You are more expressive in emotional, sensorial and human terms and at home your organisation skills and capacity to oil the family wheels work well and many of your family and friends appreciate your qualities and skills. At first glance, people find it hard to understand how you could be so comfortable organising your private life and then seem to lose the better part of your self-confidence when you’re in public. Maybe it’s a question of rhythm? If you feel comfortable in your domestic rhythm it’s perhaps because it works more on a short-term basis (day, week or more rarely a month). On the contrary, the rhythm of professional life seems less concrete and more distant as the professional agenda works more to quarterly or annual plans, that you have no control over. Is this the source of your lessened motivation? You can’t control all the cards so you have to adapt and, in fact, that doesn’t interest you at all? If this difference between work and home life doesn’t bother you, then carry on. However, if you feel frustrated by this imbalance, it could be useful to look into the deeper reasons (either on your own or with someone else) that keep you less focused on professional ambition. For instance, such reasons could be: a lack of thanks and recognition, a fear of not being up to the mark… It’s up to you to find out.

A quiz from BuzzFeed says:

You got: Mild introvert!
You're an introvert, but not to the point that you like to always be alone and constantly let down your friends. You know the value of a good book or really great film and your time by yourself is very important, but that doesn't mean you won't occasionally go along for drinks after work or on the odd night out when you fancy it. Still, you're more of a listener than a speaker, and you're much happier being on the outside of a conversation looking in than being the centre of attention.

LonerWolf says:

You have reached 57 of 100 points, (57%)

If you score was between:

40 – 60 points You’re an Ambivert.

Darwin Shrugged also asked us what we thought the others in the group were. It will be interesting to see if our answers matched up. Here are my guesses:

Darwin Shrugged and Moma Rock--Ambiverts. This is based on how they present themselves on Facebook and in their blog posts. I think they both enjoy much-needed alone time but also are comfortable in social situations.

Froggie--Extrovert (only saying this because I know her in person and can see how she easily connects with people in face-to-face interactions)

Are YOU an introvert or extrovert?

Parenthood Season 5--SPOILERS included

I'm just sharing my random thoughts per episode for these blog posts. Hope this will allow anyone who has already seen the series to enjoy it vicariously. I contribute my thoughts after watching each episode, so it's basically like you're watching it with me. This post took about a month to write, as a result.

For information on episodes, here's a guide.

Spoilers ahead, but this won't make sense unless you've watched the whole season anyway.

Ep 1 and 2:

I'm glad Hank explained why he's back in town, but I don't understand what happened between him and Sarah. I know he's saying it's mutual, but the whole situation seems odd. It's cool that he's mentoring Max in photography though. 

I'm happy for Amber. I know she was worried about where things stood with Ryan. I love that he proposed to her. I'm glad Sarah is coming around about it and that she's going to help Amber plan her wedding. 

I like the idea of Zeke and Camille downsizing where they live. I know their home has history, but they don't really have a life there as much, especially now that Sarah and Drew have moved out.

What's with Drew's hair? He looks like he's in a boy band. It's funny how he was using all the text language and emojis and Sarah was getting all annoyed over it.

Crosby's situation seems pretty stressful. I hope he'll feel more of a connection to Aida soon. I wonder if she's colicky and also why they haven't talked to a pediatrician about what's going on. I'm getting worried about how this is draining on Jasmine too. I'm glad Crosby is acknowledging Jabbar's position in all of this. As far as the restaurant situation goes, I would just never eat there again. However, Jasmine could have taken Aida to a quieter part of the restaurant to try and feed her. I remember the days of having to carry a baby around the restaurant to keep them from crying. It's definitely frustrating all-around.
If all the Bravermans were at Crosby's house at the same time, why couldn't more of them help with the baby? They seemed to just be sitting around. I'd be annoyed if I were Jasmine too. Also, where is Renee? I thought things were good between her and Crosby now.

I'm glad Kristina is running for mayor. I think she'll be good at it too. I like her campaign manager. She seems to have it together. I can't believe she's the same actress who played Michelle's friend Denise on Full House. She's gorgeous now.

Speaking of actors from shows in the past, Roy from The Office had a guest spot as Julia's new friend. I wouldn't have wanted to be on the sustainability committee either. No offense to anyone who is interested in that. I just don't have the knowledge to pull off that kind of role and would probably mess things up further. Even my son knows more about recycling than I do. Anyway, I'm glad Julia admitted to him that she lied about being employed. In regards to that, I worry that she's going to be blacklisted at law firms because of her previous employer. Maybe she should start her own firm. I'm glad Joel got the new job. I worry that his boss is going to try pursuing him romantically though. Then again, I also worry about Julia's friendship with "Roy."

Ep 3:
Lots of gray area to explore in this episode...
I wonder what's going to happen between Zeke and Camille. They really seem split on what to do for their "third act." I'm annoyed that Zeke bought the car though.
The decision over Victor's schooling is pretty stressful too. I think Julia has a good point, but I also agree with Joel about trying every avenue before taking such a huge step.
I didn't like how Kristina was acting toward Adam in the beginning. I'm glad she finally gave Sarah a chance to do her head shot and that she's more open toward the idea of budgeting now.
I'm glad Sarah is becoming more confident in her photography skills and that people are starting to believe in her more. I hope she gets recognition for the head shot so that her business will take off.
The part with Crosby and Aida at the end was just the sweetest. Aida is so cute! Still doesn't make me want more babies, but I can enjoy this vicariously. I'm glad he was able to feed her.
I love how Ryan gave Drew's roommate a good talking down. That was hilarious. I also like that Drew has moved on from Amy and that it's with this actress I liked from the new 90210 series. It was cute how they kicked his roommate out just to end up playing Scrabble.

Ep 4:
It was cute how Drew tried liking Joni Mitchell to impress Natalie. I hope he gets out of the friend zone soon. It was funny how everyone knew that track 9 gets you in the fun zone.
It would be interesting if Adam and Crosby started their own label. Sounds complex, but I think they can do it.
I'm glad Adam was able to get the money for Kristina's campaign. I hope he tells her about it soon. I can't wait to see her reaction. It was sweet that Max gave her some money and his support. I think she needs to expand beyond just education. I thought she was going to focus on the health system too. In any case, shouldn't a mayor be focused on the city at large?
I had a feeling Sarah and Amber would come to blows eventually. I hope Amber is able to prove to Sarah that their relationships are totally different.
I like that Zeke is trying to help Victor learn how to read with some tough love. I also love that Julia made Victor and Sydney help Zeke as a way to keep them out of trouble.

Ep 5 and 6:
I like how Crosby handled the situation with the band they're recording to their label. The lead singer was being insufferable and I'm glad Crosby showed that he's in charge still. It's good that the lead singer is being nicer about things now.
I'm glad Ryan confronted Sarah about her questions regarding his family. I'm not sure why he doesn't just tell Amber about it though. Unless he did and I missed that conversation? I wonder if Amber will still go through with the private ceremony in court if she's not getting Drew's help and if things are going to get better between her and Sarah. I'm also glad that Camille told Sarah that Amber is going to do what she wants no matter what. Knowing from experience, when someone that young realizes they've made a mistake, they'll handle it on their own without outside pressure.
It was nice that Zeke went to check out the condo with Camille, but it seems like he still doesn't get it. Building a fire pit in the yard is not going to change things. I'm hoping he'll listen to her more though, now that Julia spoke her mind about things.
The situation with Julia and Joel is becoming worrisome. I hope she doesn't cheat on him with Ed. It seems like they flirt with each other a lot. I agree with Julia about Joel getting taken for granted by his boss. I also don't trust her much. I'm thinking she'll end up seducing Joel somehow.
I agree with Kristina about being upset over Max and the yearbook situation. I also am glad that she's helping him see the reality of life, that things don't always go the way he wants them to. I like how she just sat with him so they could be mad together. It shows she's on his side but that she's not going to be able to do much else. I would worry if she was always helping him get his way. However, I secretly wished that she shamed the yearbook teacher during the debate. It's the little things...
It was funny about Crosby going minivan shopping and how he thinks it's a woman thing. My husband is the only one in our house who drives our minivan.

Ep 7:
Julia  is going down a slippery slope with this flirtation she has going on with Ed. I know he's encouraging it though. And paired with the lack of attention from Joel, things could get pretty ugly soon.
I loved Amber's idea for the recording. I'm glad it was successful. Even though Oliver is a diva, when he rocks out, he has a great sound. Very 90s. It seems like Amber has a flirtation thing going on with the other guy in the band whom she seems openly physical with, even though Ryan is around to possibly see it. I think she's getting cold feet about marrying him. Especially based on her reaction to the ring.
It seems like Drew has a friend with benefits. I wonder if he'll get Natalie pregnant too.
I love how Max said everything Hank told him while at dinner with the whole family. Awkward! I'm glad Sarah confronted him on it. It's nice that Hank sees potential from Max though. That could be helpful for getting him on a career path down the road.
Interesting that Zeke mentioned Camille not inviting him to Italy. It seemed like she wanted him to go but wanted that to be his decision. Unless I missed something in the previous episode. I know she said she was going, but it didn't sound like Zeke couldn't go too.
I like seeing the parallels between Camille and Julia and how they seem more connected now. I'm glad Julia stood up for her when all the siblings were discussing the situation.

Ep 8:
I had a feeling Adam punching the guy in the store would come back to haunt him later. Interesting way of tying that story line back in. I like how Kristina explained everything at the press conference and used it toward her platform. I'm impressed that she didn't stoop to Bobby's level. I wonder if Heather will eventually spill what happened.
I'm not having a good feeling about things between Julia and Joel right now. What he said to her about making bad decisions was just painful to hear. It was also awkward when Ed was hugging her. I feel bad for Victor. They really should transfer him to another school where he can start over fresh without a stigma of being held back.
I'm glad Sarah attended the party after all. I hope it brings about some new networking opportunities for her photography career.
I love how Zeke is embracing the quasi-single life. So funny. I felt bad for him with how Camille rushed off their Skype chat though.
It's cute how Jabbar is taking ballet classes. I like what Adam told Crosby about embracing their kids' interests and passions even if it's not what they wanted them to like. I'm glad Crosby showed up at the end.
I'm not sure what kind of read to get on Amber and Ryan's relationship. I have a feeling this ring situation is going to hang over them like a dark cloud for a while.

Ep 9:
I knew Ryan's violent streak was going to come out again at some point. That scene in the bar was awful. I feel bad for Amber. I'm surprised she didn't tell Sarah what happened though.
I like that Amber was asked to be the backup vocalist. She still has a great singing voice.
I'm a bit annoyed that Kristina conceded after all this effort and support from everyone. If the vote was that close, she could have just held out to see if she won. I thought the whole season was going to be based on the campaign and then her winning. I wonder what will happen next. It was sad to see how her friend is doing, health-wise. It was sweet what the girl with hearing loss said to her. If she can help her, why can't she help Victor too?
Speaking of which, I feel really bad for both Victor and Julia. I really hope they switch him to a different school. He's not going to survive this socially or emotionally...and neither is Julia. Joel is still being such a jerk about things. He acts like he made all these sacrifices for her. Sydney wasn't really going through any crises while Julia was working. This is a different playing field. I would have been pissed off too if my husband weren't answering the phone because he was having sushi with his flirtatious boss. And here I was hoping her friendship with Ed would make Joel come around somehow.
The whole situation with Max and Ruby (yes, those are the same names as that kid's show about bunnies) was interesting. I'm glad Hank had a talk with Max after talking with Sarah. Ruby was being rude to him though.
I would have been annoyed in Crosby's situation, but I'm surprised he didn't think to register to vote. The old lady at the election was pretty nasty though.
Side note: It seems odd that Haddie hasn't made so much as an appearance yet. Drew is in college and they focus on him. Why can't they focus on Haddie too? Who cares if she's in a different state? She's still part of the Braverman clan.

Ep 10:
Amber's situation just went in a completely different direction than I was expecting. Wow. It's like she doesn't even get a choice in the matter either. I see this ending even worse for both Amber and Ryan.
The election is over. It's not really worth making Kristina feel bad about her decision to concede. It sounds like she would have lost anyway if she was down by two points. It was a nice effort on Adam's end to just let her throw eggs at Bob's picture. He really is a smug little creep. I hope Kristina eventually decides to come forward about what he did with Amber.
Sarah and the tenant guy would be cute together if she would just loosen up a bit.
I'm still nervous for Julia and Joel. I wonder if she'll tell him about Ed trying to kiss her. I'm glad Joel is at least trying to make an effort in their relationship now.
I'm glad Amy is back on the scene. I wonder if her being around will make Natalie jealous enough to rethink where things stand between her and Drew. This is making me miss college though.

Ep 11:
I'm glad Zeke has a new friend. I was hoping his friend would convince him to drop everything and go find Camille in Italy. I guess not.
The scene at the end between Julia and Joel was intense. I hope they get couples counseling soon. I don't know how much more of this tension I can handle. Weirdly, I thought Joel would cheat on Julia with his boss. I love how Adam and Crosby were looking out for Julia though.
I find it annoying that Sarah all of a sudden likes Carl more because he has a reputable career.
I'm glad Drew and Amy are back together. I'm sure Natalie will eventually tell Amy that she was Drew's friend with benefits. I don't see things going in a good direction if and when that happens.
Expecting a book to diagnose someone with Asperger's is like asking WebMD if you're dying. It's so standard and if Hank is really that concerned, he should have himself tested. I'm glad he and Max are on better terms, but I can imagine Max's outburst at the beginning being upsetting because Hank really wasn't prepared.
Is Victor's educational issue completely swept under the rug now? He seems like he's fine about everything.

Ep 12:
I was all excited when Julia finally suggested marriage counseling and am super upset that Joel isn't even open to it. I get that Julia has changed since leaving her job, but Joel has caused just as much damage to their marriage by being a jerk about everything. I don't know that I would have wanted Julia to tell Joel about the kiss since that obviously is causing more of a rift, but I also feel like Joel has pushed her into having a connection with someone outside of their marriage, even if it wasn't physical.
Oliver is such a pain in the butt, but I'm glad Jasmine talked some sense into him. The song he wrote about her was nice.
The whole photography job situation is so bizarre. I'm happy for Sarah, but it seems like she got the job just because of her connection with Carl, whether he'd admit that or not. She doesn't seem to know what she's doing. I didn't think Hank was qualified for it either, based on how stubborn he gets about certain things. It will be weird for them to partner up on it, if that's really what they're doing.
I feel bad for Max. Middle school is hard enough as it is, but not to have any friends while also being made fun of makes it so much worse. I know how Adam and Kristina feel about being helpless. If they fix things for him, they'll set an expectation and the friendship also won't be genuine.
I'm glad Amber said goodbye to Ryan. Even if she didn't want to at first, it will be good closure for her in the long run. Ryan's situation reminds me of Brooks from The Shawshank Redemption, but in a different way. When someone is in a confined situation with a set of rules, it's hard to adapt to daily life afterward. So I can see why he's doing what he's doing. While it's sad for Amber, she's only 20 and has her whole life ahead of her.

Ep 13:
Julia and Joel's situation has just become so painful to watch. Their marriage is ripping apart at the seams. And now he's moving out?!?
I wish Zeke would grow a pair and tell Camille how he feels about her jaunting off to do art things all the time. I mean, it's great that she has a passion and all, but I kind of feel like she's doing this whole independence thing to get back at him for not being on the same page with her about their third act.
Amber and alcohol are not a good combination. However, it seems like she and Seth are starting to be on better terms.
I feel like there's more going on with Amy than what she's telling Drew. It's also not really fair of her to lie to her parents about where she is. College costs a fortune these days. In any case, she and Drew are still cute together.
I love that Kristina and Adam were hoping that Hank would have Asperger's so that Max could have a good role model. Gotta love priorities like that. I do get it though, I tend to admire people who are successful while also having hearing loss because I think of the potential for my kids. I do think Adam needs to tell Crosby his concerns about Max's social issues at school. He just seems to get irrationally mad at Crosby.

Ep 14:
I'm glad Zeke finally told Camille how he felt about her not being around so much. It seems like they've reached more of an understanding. I kind of feel like her art stuff is making her pretentious.
I don't know how much more of Julia and Joel's situation I can take. I thought they had decided to get marriage counseling after all, but apparently not. I feel bad for the kids too. That has to be so hard on them. I'm glad Julia finally told her parents what is going on. I'm sure they will be a good support system for her.
I like that Sarah is becoming more confident about her photography skills and that she realized that she needs to be the one calling the shots.
The whole school situation with Max is so frustrating. I was thinking Kristina could home school him, but it will be interesting to see if she can start a new school from the ground up. It was nice that she tried to help the other woman at her IEP meeting.
I'm glad Jasmine came around to the idea of moving in with Zeke and Camille for the time being.

Ep 15:
I think Zeke and Camille are right to tell Crosby to stay out of their decision to sell their house. And I love the reason Zeke gave him for his decision.
I hate this separation for Joel and Julia. I'm kind of feeling bad for Joel because it seems like the kids prefer to be with Julia, but I also think he's bringing it on himself for not even trying to resolve things with her. I'm glad Julia's siblings came over to keep her company and even spent the night there. That was sweet and made me smile a lot, even when Adam did his embarrassing dance moves. Also, yay for the Orange is the New Black shout-out. :) I love the story Julia told Victor when he couldn't sleep. I'm glad they're back on good terms with each other.
I love how Kristina thanked Adam when they were at the spa. I hadn't given that much thought, but it was nice.
I really don't know if I care about Hank's visits with Dr. Pelikan. He's technically a secondary character on the show. I'm glad he apologized to Sarah.
I'm glad Drew finally made Amy talk to her parents. I wonder how that went.
I wish Haddie would be featured in some episodes. It still seems strange to have more than half the season go by and not even know what's going on with her.

Ep 16:
Crosby needs to back off of Camille already. I'm glad she stood up for herself. She seems pretty adamant about him staying at the house for another month, so that's interesting.
I wonder if Amber and Drew ended up making out with anyone at the party. Drew seems so wishy-washy about Natalie. Like she's there as a convenience if Amy isn't around. I'm glad Natalie doesn't want to play second choice though.
I was expecting Joel to give Julia a hard time about caving to Sydney, but I'm glad he let her off the hook so he could be the one to say no to Sydney instead. I do agree with Ed that Julia needs to figure out what is really happening with her marriage instead of just blaming him. It was nice that she brought him dinner though. I hope nothing comes of her staying to eat it with him.
The whole Hank going to Dr. Pelikan for "emergencies" is getting old. I also don't like that Sarah keeps telling Hank that he's right. I think it's good that she's trying to figure out what she wants for herself, but it seems like Hank is still her crutch in some ways. It was also annoying that Max told Hank where Sarah was going and who she was going with. That was not his place to say anything.
I am glad that Kristina is in good health and that she's going to move forward with this school. It will be interesting to see what happens with Mr. Knight on board.

Ep 17:
The whole situation involving un-asking Joel to be Aida's G-dfather was so awkward. I could see why Julia was upset about Joel not wanting to do it, but I think they have bigger mountains to climb right now. I liked the speech Zeke gave Joel later on and that he showed up at the baptism.
The dinner was pretty awkward too, since all these secrets were coming out at once. It was funny that Sarah didn't realize her kids were stoned. I did agree with Sarah regarding Max and thought Adam and Kristina were getting bent out of shape. Even when Hank was trying to put things into perspective, it just seemed like everyone was ganging up on Sarah for getting annoyed that Max was being intrusive on a day he wasn't even supposed to be at the studio. I think Sarah had every right to call him out on his behavior. I would have done the same thing, regardless of any disabilities he might have. She was treating him the way she'd treat one of her own kids if they did the same thing.
Drew needs to figure out what he wants from Natalie instead of getting mad at her and his roommate for sleeping together. He still seems to be back and forth on things.
I have a feeling things are going to end up even worse for Amber in regards to Ryan. Just a premonition. I mean, he is deployed and probably not in a safe territory.
I knew Adam would find out that Crosby made him his second choice for G-dfather. I can understand why Sarah was upset too. It's kind of ironic that he chose Joel and Julia and now their marriage is unstable. It's nice that he isn't retracting the opportunity from Julia though. And I do understand his feelings about the baptism being pushed on him so quickly.

Ep 18:
I understand why Victor would be freaking out over who is going to pick him up at school, but Joel was definitely in over his head by getting him a phone. I'm glad Julia "called" him out on that. I felt bad for Victor after what Sydney said to him and am glad Joel was able to come through for him at the end of the episode.
I'm getting a bit tired of Drew's slacker act and self-pity party. It's a big college and he is young. It's not like he was dating Natalie or was that close with Berto. I don't like that Amber is enabling him either. And I have absolutely no idea what he was singing at the end.
I'm glad Sarah's meeting went well. Hank is definitely a pushover when it comes to her. I was enjoying him taking a stand against how she was acting toward him and then he went to see her before her meeting anyway.
Interesting about the offers on the house. I wonder if Zeke and Camille will take the new offer now that it's much higher than asking price.
The whole situation with Max is awful. I hated being bullied and teased as a kid, so I can imagine it being that much harder for him. Especially since he really has no friends. I'm glad his teacher was looking out for him though. I know this is going to propel Kristina to start that new school even sooner than she was planning to.

Ep 19:
I hate that Joel takes no responsibility for the demise of their marriage. He keeps blaming everything on Julia. I'm sorry, but if he had been more supportive and less judgmental during Victor's whole school situation, maybe they wouldn't be where they are now. I was surprised to see Julia out on a date with Ed, but I am not sure what else to think about this yet. Is she that ready to move on now that Joel has given up on their marriage?
I loved Amber's "intervention" with Victor and Sydney. I'm glad they ended up having a fun time.
Crosby getting a motorcycle was surprising, but I'm also glad he helped Zeke get the grill for the car. That whole situation was crazy. I'm surprised Zeke didn't print out the agreement as proof. I'm also surprised that he decided to sell the house after all. Especially since it seemed like he had second thoughts when he was talking to Crosby about it.
I'm glad Mark has moved on from Sarah. As cute as he is, they really aren't a fit now. She seems like she's condescending to him anyway. I'm surprised she's even upset about it since she was the one who ended things Did she expect him to wait for her? I'm guessing she did. It was cute how Hank seemed happy to hear the news about Mark. I also saw that coming anyway (Mark's news).
I am so glad that Kristina and Adam gave the principal and dean their opinion of Max's situation. I didn't hear what Max said in the previous episode, so I was appalled and disgusted to find out what the kids did to him. I would have been furious if I were Kristina, so I don't blame her one bit for voicing her anger. I'm glad Adam is getting Max out of his shell some more. Surfing could be a really good thing for him.
I think in season one or two, it was mentioned that Sydney is gifted. I keep thinking about that and wondering why that story line was dropped altogether.

Ep 20:
I'm glad Crosby and 4D convinced Oliver to go on the tour. I was getting so frustrated with how egotistical Oliver was acting.
I love how Julia helped Adam and Kristina get their school up and running. It was nice to see her in lawyer mode again. I had a feeling she and Evan would get together. I feel bad for Ed though, as she rebuked his advances and said she wasn't ready and all of a sudden she's ready to be with Evan.
It was sweet how Zeke helped Camille find a new house for them to live in.
I'm glad Berto told Drew that the Natalie situation was his fault too. I was getting sick of Drew feeling sorry for himself and blaming everyone else. I also love how Sarah took action with getting Drew to go back to school.
I like what Hank said to Sarah in the end, even though it took two sessions with Dr. Pelikan to figure that out. He and Drew are similar in blaming everyone else when they can't take responsibility for their own actions and decisions.

Ep 21:
It was really nice what Hank did for Amber. I'm glad Sarah is starting to see him in a new light, especially after what Adam said to her about how he is with Max.
What was Ryan doing in San Diego? I thought he was deployed.
It's sad about Gwen passing away. I love how Adam has been so supportive of Kristina throughout this situation. Did Gwen give a donation for the school? I had a feeling they'd name it after her though.
I'm glad Natalie told Drew how she felt and that now they're officially together. What was the thing they were doing on the football field at midnight? Is that some new college tradition?
It was sweet what Evan told Julia even after she told him that it was a one time thing. I also liked that Joel was being nicer to her, even with helping Crosby. It was awkward what Joel's boss said to him about how she was trying to give him hints that she liked him. I like that he didn't do anything with that information.
I'm glad Crosby and his family are finally back in their home. He's really matured over the past few seasons and it's nice to see.

Ep 22:
I can't believe we don't get an answer on Amber's pregnancy test. I don't even remember when Ryan was deployed, so it would have been a long time since she last was with him romantically. Their kiss at the hospital was so awkward. And the whole situation with his mom is crazy. It's like he kept her and Amber apart deliberately and now it's blowing up in Amber's face somehow.
It sure seems like Sarah and Hank addressed the "tomato" in the room. I wonder what made her change her mind and decide to try again,
I loved the scene with Joel telling Sydney stories about when she was born and the fact that he was holding Julia's hand gives me hope that there's another chance for their marriage to work again. Why wasn't he at the dinner in the final scene though? I was really happy for Victor winning the essay contest and I love that he wrote about working on the car. It's nice to see how confident he is again.
It was sweet that Zeke gave Drew the car and that Drew went to see Natalie. I love everything about that. I'm surprised to find out the car was meant for Drew all along.
The last scene in the house was bittersweet with Zeke and Camille dancing in a bare room, but I hope things will go well for them in their new house.
I'm glad Kristina is so supportive of Haddie being a lesbian. I am guessing Adam is too, based on their exchange at the end of the episode. I'm just wondering how this all developed. She was so boy crazy before. I like this new side of Haddie though and she looks fabulous too.
The bobsledding down the stairs was pretty funny. I guess guys never grow up. I wonder if Camille will ever find out the truth about the birdhouse.

Onward and upward....to season six!

Thoughts on Season One
Thoughts on Season Two
Thoughts on Season Three
Thoughts on Season Four

Book Review: The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street

Who doesn't scream for ice cream? It's one of my favorite desserts and we always keep some stocked in our freezer. Running out of ice cream is like a travesty in our house. When I first heard about The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman, I knew I had to check it out, especially since there were Jewish elements involved. While the length didn't appeal to my book club and the genre didn't fit my book blog, I was looking for a reason to put all my other reading aside for it. (I have to prioritize with all the reviewing I do.) Then I got an opportunity to interview Susan Jane Gilman for The Jewish Food Experience blog and thought that now would be a good time to give the book a whirl (or perhaps a swirl, in this case).

In 1913, little Malka Treynovsky flees Russia with her family. Bedazzled by tales of gold and movie stardom, she tricks them into buying tickets for America. Yet no sooner do they land on the squalid Lower East Side of Manhattan, than Malka is crippled and abandoned in the street.

Taken in by a tough-loving Italian ices peddler, she manages to survive through cunning and inventiveness. As she learns the secrets of his trade, she begins to shape her own destiny. She falls in love with a gorgeous, illiterate radical named Albert, and they set off across America in an ice cream truck. Slowly, she transforms herself into Lillian Dunkle, "The Ice Cream Queen" -- doyenne of an empire of ice cream franchises and a celebrated television personality.

Lillian's rise to fame and fortune spans seventy years and is inextricably linked to the course of American history itself, from Prohibition to the disco days of Studio 54. Yet Lillian Dunkle is nothing like the whimsical motherly persona she crafts for herself in the media. Conniving, profane, and irreverent, she is a supremely complex woman who prefers a good stiff drink to an ice cream cone. And when her past begins to catch up with her, everything she has spent her life building is at stake. (Synopsis courtesy of Goodreads.)

As soon as I opened the book, I was immediately drawn in to Malka's world. She narrates the story through her 75 year-old voice and personality (as Lillian), so there's a lot of wit and humor that wouldn't have been prevalent if she narrated it throughout the time she was coming of age. She uses the word "darlings" to address her audience, and I just love that for some reason. It makes me feel like I'm talking with a long lost relative.

Susan really did a lot of research that comes out in all the detail she uses throughout the story. I really felt like I was right there and could practically taste the ice cream Lillian was selling. It made me want to go back in time to when my grandparents were growing up. I also enjoyed reading about how businesses came about before the Internet existed. (This is coming from someone who doesn't get what people did at work before computers existed.)

Malka/Lillian ranks up there with Wally Lamb's Dolores Price (from She's Come Undone) on my well-developed and incredible characters list. I could easily see them being friends if they were part of the same story. I had to keep closing the cover to make sure I was still reading a book, as Malka/Lillian felt so realistic. Susan wasn't afraid to put her flaws and imperfections out there and allow her to be seen as an unreliable narrator upon whom I could still rely. I hated to love her, honestly. She reminded me of myself in some ways and of people I know in other ways. And she was so easily sympathetic, even when she was at her worst behavior. The only critique I have is that there were too many names to keep track of and I forgot about some people and their significance to the story after a while. However, this didn't detract from my enjoyment in the slightest.

Aside from that, the story had a Forrest Gump feel, as it spanned over a long period of time and incorporated the characters into real historical events, as well as incorporated celebrities and politicians into a fictional story. The other reason is because it was a well told and compelling story that I could easily enjoy on the big screen. I was sort of casting it into my head, but because it spanned so much time, it was hard to stick with one actor. I could see June Gable (who played Estelle on Friends) as 75 year-old Lillian as she's narrating the story. I also pictured Mayim Bialik playing Lillian in her 30s and 40s. I pictured Ty Burrell as a middle-aged Albert ("Bert").

The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street, overall, is an incredibly written book that is giving me a book hangover the way a delicious ice cream cone gives me an ice cream headache. Well worth devouring, in either case. As Lillian might say, "Darlings, how is it that you haven't read this yet?" Well, if your beach bag is full and you don't have the space for the hardcover version, have no fear...it will be available in paperback July 7th. So grab your favorite ice cream flavors and be prepared not to leave your favorite reading chair for a while.

Thanks to Grand Central Publishing for the book in exchange for an honest review. Visit the Jewish Food Experience blog to meet Susan.

Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

"Sisters are doin' it for themselves..."

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: You know the phrase, he's a man's man? Are you a woman's woman?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

The concept of being a "woman's woman" made me think of the song in my subject line.





Anyway, in order to get an idea of where I was going with this, I first looked up a definition of "man's man."

Merriam Webster defines it as "a man who is liked and admired by other men." So would that be the equivalent of a #guycrush? There was a full definition underneath that one: "A man noted or admired for traditionally masculine interests and activities."

The definition seems pretty broad. If that were the case for being a "woman's woman," I'd definitely have this in the bag. I have been praised affectionately by other women. Some of that was apparent today after an author posted an interview I did at her blog. Some of the comments on that post were:

"You’re renowned, m’dear (in a good way)."

"She is funny, warm, smart, and so lovely. And she writes a heck of a story, too! I absolutely love her."

This is mainly in relation to what I do with Chick Lit Central. I'm all about featuring, supporting, and celebrating women writers. I've also connected with women all around the world who love to read as much as I do. Hearing good things from them about me or my blog always brightens my day. Recently, I introduced my mom to one of my reader friends (they're close in age and I think they'd get along well in general) and she went on to tell my mom how well she raised me and that she thinks I'm a gem and admires some qualities about me.

One of the highest forms of praise is when someone tells me they bought a book because of my review or recommendation. It speaks volumes about the impact I've had through this blog. Believe it or not, I'm rather modest and I blush at even the slightest hint of praise. Even at my office, when someone thanks me for just doing what I'm supposed to do or says something kind to me, I get all shy about it. (And then I brag to my husband about it, of course!) Just doing this to illustrate a point about the topic is totally stepping out of my comfort zone!

In terms of having traditionally feminine interests and activities, I don't know if it's something I'm admired for, as I share these interests with so many other women.

*I love watching chick flicks (some of my favorites are listed here) and girly TV shows. I recently did a post about three current favorites. Aside from those, I'm a devoted fan of The Mindy Project (I won an autographed script last winter!!!) and I just started watching Younger and already love it. I also watch Orange is the New Black and Orphan Black, but those are gritty dramas.

MINDY and CHRIS touched this at one point in time!!!

*I wear dresses and skirts almost all the time. Part of that has to do with being Modern Orthodox Jewish. I don't like wearing pants anymore except for jeans to lounge around in on weekends.

*I like baking a lot. I don't cook main dishes as much as I bake desserts. I'm sometimes just happy to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Other times, I like making indulgent cakes and pies.

*In Judaism, there are three mitzvahs that women are obligated to fulfill. I can proudly say I do all three, which are baking challah, lighting Shabbat (and holiday) candles, and going to the mikvah.

*As a mother, I like talking about my kids a lot and sharing both serious and humorous articles about parenting with all my mother friends. Of course, this experience makes me act like a mother to my friends, as well. I think I was doing that long before I had kids. Aside from nagging (I'm allowed to admit it, okay?!?), I also make sure my friends are taken care of.

There are also ways I don't live up to this definition....

*My fashion sense was left behind about 10 years ago. I still wear clothes I got when I was in my 20s and even some items from my college days. I shop at the thrift store and am happy if the label is from a well known store or designer because even if it's an older item, I still enjoy the fact that I saved a fortune on it. (For example, a few years ago, I got this Ann Taylor sweater dress for $10.)

*I hate shoe shopping and barely ever buy myself shoes.

*I don't like reality TV so I don't keep up with the Kardashians and could care less what the Real Housewives are up to or who the Bachelor selected in the rose ceremony.

*As nice and fun as they are, I only get manicures and pedicures a few times a year, if that. And usually just manicures since no one sees my feet. I tend to smudge the polish even after I think they're totally dry, so that just annoys me. I recently had a deal from Certifikid to get one with my daughter. Of course, she wanted the polish removed later that day and one of my nails completely got smudged even when it was well past being dry.

Mother and daughter manis

Are YOU a woman's woman?

You've got (WAY too much) mail!

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Moma Rock chose the topic: What is something you're really bad at?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

Right around the time we got our topic from Moma Rock, I received this fortune at a Chinese restaurant.

I thought it was fitting, since I can't really change something unless I'm aware of the problem to begin with. Well, I've been aware of my burgeoning inbox over at my Gmail account and have been loath to do anything about it. I've been hoarding e-mails there since late May of 2006, starting with a message from my friend Denise (NOT Darwin Shrugged), where we were joking about John Krasinski for some reason.

The amount of new mail in my inbox is only half of the total amount. My older son will look at my inbox sometimes and make fun of how many messages I have not opened yet. You'll also notice the folder called "Ads," which is where I have mail sent if it's for Groupon, magazine subscriptions, Goldstar tickets, etc. I could easily empty this mailbox, and I just never seem to get around to it.

The amount listed for my inbox was from Sunday. It has gone up to 10,849 as of this past Wednesday at 4:20 pm.

And here's the total amount of messages in my inbox. Brace yourselves...this is NOT pretty!

Having said all this, something I'm REALLY bad at is managing my e-mail. I not only have this account, but also three Gmail accounts related to my book blog (why I don't condense some, I will never know). In addition to that, I have a Yahoo account I rarely ever check unless I need to post something to a listserv I'm connected to there so that it doesn't clog up my Gmail account. There's also my Facebook Messenger inbox, which is quite a mess. And finally, my work e-mail, which I won't even try to make you anxious about.

Now that I'm aware of this problem, I realize there are some changes I need to make. I'm going to first start with my personal Gmail account. 

1. I'm going to go back to messages from years ago and just dump anything that doesn't have a picture attached to it. I'll do it in small groups as to not get overwhelmed.

2. I'm going to clean out my "Ads" folder, even if it's just deleting 100 a day. Again, small groups.

3. I'm going to create some folders into which I can place certain messages. I have a "follow up" folder for messages I know I need to reply to soon. 

4. I'm going to send anything book blog related to one of my book blog accounts to answer over there.

5. I'm going to unsubscribe from companies that send me ads that I don't even care to open anyway. (This will also be done in small groups.)

I think five is a good set of steps to start with. I will report back in a month to let you know where I'm at with this progress. I need someone to hold me accountable for inbox organization, and who better to do it than my readers! Here's hoping I'll actually be able to conquer these tasks! Wish me luck.

Physical embodiment of where my e-mails should go.

Let's go to the movies....or not?

When I wrote my post last week about stuff I enjoyed in the past but don't enjoy now, I didn't include "going to the movies" as one of the items. It's something I go back and forth about because going to the movies these days is nothing like it was when I was younger. I still enjoy going to the theater--sometimes--but there's a price to pay, and I don't just mean from my wallet.

Back in the day, movies were reasonably priced. Usually about $4.00 for a matinee. And if you had a coupon from the Entertainment book, it was $4.00 at night too. The only time it's $4.00 to go to a movie theater now is if you get some major deal from Groupon for Fandango. Otherwise, it's $12 for an adult to see a matinee. At least it feels that way. It's not any less expensive for kids. Maybe $10 instead? There are NO second run theaters out by where I live. We have the big name ones like Regal and AMC. When I lived in Illinois, the dollar theater was around the corner. I loved it there. Sure, we would see these cheesy ads before the movie started and the seats weren't super comfortable, but it was nice for a date night where we didn't feel like we were spending a fortune. It reminded me of being in college and all the inexpensive options for seeing a movie on or off campus. Also, snack items were way more reasonably priced back then. I don't even bother getting snacks at the theater these days. After spending my life savings to see a movie, I am not inclined to go into debt over snacks. What bothers me the most is that theaters show a billion ads before the movie starts, but they're somehow not getting sponsorship for these ads or they would be able to charge more reasonable prices overall.

The next factor is how RUDE people are in the theater. They get up and walk around. They talk during the movie itself. They kick my seat. They play with their cell phones and text all their friends. And I won't even begin to tell you what one of my friends caught someone doing when she went to the theater once. I'll just say that the movie should have been rated X for the behavior it elicited. I also hate when people bring babies or small children to a movie that's clearly for adults. Someone brought a BABY to Les Miz. Seriously! And even when I'm at a family friendly movie, people practically encourage their kids to talk and scream. If your kid is screaming, TAKE THEM TO THE LOBBY!!! I didn't pay half my college tuition to see a movie where the soundtrack is someone's child throwing a tantrum. I'm sorry they're throwing a tantrum when the parents probably paid just as much as I did to see this movie, but if they weren't ready for the theater, they shouldn't have brought them. And now that they did, ignoring them is not going to stop the tantrum from getting worse. I was a kid once too and I remember not allowing my parents to see Mary Poppins in the theater because I was too scared of the dark. That was when tickets were 50 cents though....

I'm still somewhat traumatized by an experience I had while watching Monsters Inc. the first time in the theater back in 2001. Some man came in toward the end and was looking for his wallet. Instead of waiting an extra five minutes for the movie to be over and the lights to go up, he decided to get into our row and practically lean on top of me to look behind me for his wallet, blocking my view of the screen. He ruined an emotional scene for me and also freaked me out considerably. He was breathing really loud the whole time he was leaning over me, so you can imagine why that would be super uncomfortable.

It's also a matter of how great vs. how much of a letdown the movie is. More often than not, I have been disappointed by the movies I've been excited about seeing in the theater (i.e. Les Miz, Frozen, Brave, Avatar, etc.). Maybe one out of every three times I go, I actually enjoy the movie throughout (Monsters University, Wreck-It Ralph, The Muppets, Muppets Most Wanted, Turbo). Still, there's an imbalance of movies I didn't like vs. movies I enjoyed. I do want to see Into the Woods and The Last Five Years in the theater, but worry about being disappointed by both.

I still like the feel of being in a theater, where the screen practically overtakes you and the sound fills the room. I may not like the ads before a movie, but I'm a trailer junkie. I love finding out what movies are coming soon and getting a glimpse into them. I like the comfortable chairs that are way better than the ones I sat in at the theater when I was a kid. And stadium seating is amazing. I resent when a theater doesn't have stadium seating and I have to look up from below the screen. There's something intoxicating about the smell of popcorn as you're going into the theater, along with the lights, colors, sounds, etc. It's something that the price, rude people, and caliber of movie can not take away from me.

There's a theater by my parents' house (in the west suburbs of Chicago) that does something awesome...every Tuesday, they charge a flat rate of $5.00 per ticket all day, along with FREE popcorn. We saw Mr. Peabody and Sherman there and got to sit in this auditorium that had really comfortable lounging chairs with lots of room between our row and the row in front of us. It was probably one of the best theater experiences I've had in a long time and I enjoyed the movie too!

I long for a day when we can get back to old school prices for seeing a movie (even just once a week), or at least have some second run theaters established nearby. I don't think either will happen anytime soon. Until my fantasy becomes a reality, I'll just hang out on the couch and watch a DVD in my pajamas, with a bowl of microwave popcorn. That's the ultimate movie experience for me these days!

Your face is your fortune

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Froggie chose the topic: YOLO (You only live once)

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes."--Nadine Stair

I recently saw this quote on Facebook and thought of it in terms related to YOLO. Obviously, you can't make more mistakes because you only have one life to live. I find YOLO to be cliché and think it was a concept created by someone with a billion dollars because they don't have to worry about money or time being a real issue. I work full-time and when I take time off for vacation, I have to play "catch up" when I return. It's not like I can just jet off to Hawaii or Europe or some other place on my bucket list. So YOLO doesn't sit right with me. Therefore, I've decided to talk about having a "do over," as there are certain mistakes I would most definitely not want to make again!

Just recently I've been talking about a day that I would like to do over. About a month ago, on Shabbat, I was all excited to go to my friend's house for lunch. We're really close and have a lot of things in common. Schedules don't allow us to see each other a lot, so lunch together is a nice treat. However, that didn't happen as planned. On the way home from shul, we were walking down the main street to get over to my friend's house. My kids were running around and not listening to me when I said to stay to the side and not get in the way of cars. (Before I go on, let me assure you that no KIDS were harmed in this situation.) I saw a car coming and they were about to cross the street without me telling them it was okay. I went to stop them and somehow managed to trip, land on the asphalt, and split my lip, as well as crack a tooth and scratch up my face. Needless to say, I wouldn't be eating lunch at my friend's house. I don't know if I was more upset about missing this lunch or about cracking a tooth.

There were some upsides to the situation, believe it or not. A friend who lives nearby offered to stick around and take me to the ER while my husband went to lunch with the kids. It was really nice of her, considering we don't hang out all that much as our schedules aren't really in sync either. There are also a lot of doctors in the neighborhood and one happened to live right by where the incident took place. While I wasn't a fan of him using rubbing alcohol on the cuts (yeah, it hurts like you wouldn't believe), I appreciated him being available and also giving me my space to just nurse my wounds, while also checking in. I also got a lot of time to read that day, as the kids were safe and sound with my husband and my friend was also content to read her own book. We did chat from time to time and she helped me feel better about things. I'm also really, really, REALLY glad it happened to me and not my kids. They wouldn't have handled what I had to go through next.

At the ER, I ended up getting stitches in my lip. In order to get the stitches, the doctor put a huge shot of numbing medicine in there first. Let me just say that an epidural hurt less than that shot in the lip. I went home patched up and looking like I just was in a boxing match. Of course, that night I had plans to see a musical with "Jack." Thankfully, he was nice about the whole situation instead of making fun of me. (He and I like to tease each other though.) I looked awful and tried to keep my face covered with my winter scarf, even indoors. Of course, some people I know from shul ended up sitting down right behind us! At least they only thought I had a cold at the time. I still enjoyed the show and am glad I didn't miss out on such an entertaining experience. (I guess that's where YOLO comes into play...I will go out in public with a battered looking face to see a musical with a close gay friend.)

A few other upsides were that my tooth was easily fixable, thanks to my amazing dentist and the plastic surgeon I saw about my lip was really nice. It could always be worse, right?!? My face has since healed up, other than being a little pink in some spots, which is fixable with cover-up and powder. Only my BFF and my mother-in-law got to see pictures (my MIL just saw my repaired tooth and one of my halfway healed pics though). Yes, I'll go out in public that way but I'm loath to share the pictures with anyone else.

The people I'm close with in the neighborhood found out about the incident and they were all very nice and concerned. One even sent me a "get well" card. Other people didn't mention it at all or were nice about it if they did. So I'm glad this happened now instead of when I was in junior high or high school. I would have opted to be homeschooled for a few weeks until this cleared up otherwise! And I would have never left the house at all! (I know that sounds dramatic, but I got teased really bad after injuring my eye a few times.)

In any case, I'd still like that "do over." It was an awful thing to have happen (even though it was minor in the grand scheme of things and I could have hurt myself in such worse ways) and I still feel unsettled by it. I'm sometimes afraid to go walking to shul on days when we host lunch or have a meal out. I worry it will happen again. The other day, I only slightly tripped but caught myself and I felt all anxious from it. So it would be nice for the person who came up with YOLO to allow for "do overs" in the grand scheme of life. The question is "When will someone invent a non-fictional time travel device?!?"

Anyway, tomorrow celebrates a day that I would never do over, so come back to hear about that!

Facing my "Demon"

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week is Darwin Shrugged's first topic for our group: Slightly in honor of Halloween, I'd like us to write about facing a fear -- one we've faced, one we've yet to faced, etc.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

When I was a kid, I was terrified of roller coasters. The only ones I could handle were the kid-friendly ones, such as Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disney World. Anything that had a chance of going upside down or even downhill too fast was just not an option for me. Therefore, it was hard to find much to do at Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, Illinois. I would go there on field trips from camp or school and there were only a small amount of things I could do. Mostly it was the kiddie rides and watching shows. When I went from camp, they split us into roller coaster and non-roller coaster groups, which was nice. However, when I went on the eighth grade field trip from junior high, it wasn't so easy. The two girls I was hanging out with at the time (I've since reunited with one of them and we've become closer as a result) wanted to go on the roller coasters. I ended up spending a lot of time sitting on benches, waiting for them to get off the roller coasters. I only went on the Whizzer, which was tame, mostly geared toward kids or people, like me, who were scared of a real roller coaster. Needless to say, I should have brought a book with.

The summer before junior year of high school, I went to Great America again for a synagogue youth group event. My BFF came with, as her goal was to get me to ride roller coasters. We also met up with my close friend from Madison and some of her friends. I think my BFF started me off slowly, on somewhat tame but somewhat wild roller coasters. The whole day is a blur, but I know I rode a lot of the scary ones, including Iron Wolf (the one you stand up on) and Batman (where there is nothing under your feet). She wanted me to go on Shock Wave, but that was pressing her luck. I'm pretty sure I rode the Demon, which was another scary-looking ride. All I know is that I had a blast and got over my fear rather quickly. It was exhiliarating going around loops and speeding down hills without any control on my part. I just had to enjoy the ride (and scream...a LOT). It became a natural high for me. This also helped my social life at the next trip to Great America, which was on Physics Day during senior year of high school. I was able to ride all the roller coasters without a problem that time too, thus getting to hang out with other people from my class who liked roller coasters (one was a girl I reconnected with because of "Rocky Horror"). It was exhilarating to scream expletives while going in upside down loops. I went there a few more times after that trip.

Sadly, my roller coaster euphoria ended in 2001. I went there over Memorial Day weekend with "Will" and he even managed to get me on Shock Wave (he had to go to "Rocky Horror" with me in exchange). I felt like my earrings were going to pierce another hole through my head from that ride! In any case, it wasn't that I didn't have fun on the roller coasters. I always have fun with "Will." It was more that I had motion sickness from that trip. I even took Dramamine to ease the effects. By the end of the day, I just wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. I went to sleep at an unreasonably early hour for a holiday weekend. I went to a local carnival a few months later and felt the same way after some of the rides there. I think the only rides I can go on these days without becoming incredibly nauseated are carousels and ferris wheels. Thankfully, my husband doesn't do roller coasters either, so we have no reason to spend a fortune at amusement parks geared toward thrill rides.

In any case, I'm glad I braved the roller coasters and have my BFF to thank. If she ever wants me to return the favor (even though she's braver than I am...and probably less motion-sick too, when it comes to stuff like this), I'd be glad to help her get over a fear.

Other stuff I still will NOT do (mostly out of fear):

• Ice skate...it's more about the fact that my ankles don't want to cooperate with my feet, but the balance issue also freaks me out. I commend my kids for being able to do it and especially my younger son, who just picks himself up each time he falls. 
• Ski....my husband can go on the hills and I'll stay inside by a fire with hot cocoa and a good book. 
• Dive into any body of water. Don't tell my freshman year HS P.E. teacher, but I snuck out of the diving test and she never noticed and it didn't even affect my grade! That's how terrified I am to even get near a diving board. I also won't do deep sea diving, as the idea of a fish coming near me freaks me out.
• Anything involving heights (bungee jumping, skydiving, etc.)...my BFF has skydived and there's no WAY she's getting me to do that. 
• Get my wisdom teeth removed (not like I really need to, but it's still something I fear anyway)

Other fears I've conquered:

• Driving on highways/expressways
• Driving in the city...mainly Chicago (The first time I drove on Lake Shore Drive was a huge accomplishment). I still refuse to drive anywhere in NYC and drove to DC once but am not sure I'd want to do that again (more that people drive like idiots and directions are confusing).
• Haunted houses (I managed to psyche out a scary clown)
• Getting an epidural (thanks to labor being so painful the first time around)

52 Stories: Butterfly kisses (and hugs)

Inspired by One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern, I've decided to ask people some thought provoking questions about themselves, as I feel that everyone has a story to tell. If you're just joining me on this journey today, please check out the previous posts from this series, as well.

I connected with this storyteller through my book blog and other similar groups we're in on Facebook. We also have some online friends in common. She's really nice and I enjoyed reading her answers to my questions...especially the last two.

Name you’d like to go by: I answer to Kimberly or Kim, my close relatives and friends will also call me Kimmy. I like to use the name Kimberlyindy when I review books.
Age: 40+
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

What is your guilty pleasure? 
 I have a couple of guilty pleasures. I love to be able to stay in my pajamas all day and alternate watching movies and reading. Some of my favorite movies are A Walk in the Clouds, Serendipity, Sabrina and almost all Christmas movies (which I have been known to watch in July.) I generally read Romance and Chick Lit. Some of my favorite authors are Jane Porter, Megan Crane/Caitlin Crews, Debra Kahn, Melissa Cutler, Anita Hughes Jude Deveraux, Susan Mallery and Jill Shalvis. If I can afford to indulge myself, I love to go stay in a hotel and go to their spa. I have learned that you can get a day pass and enjoy the experience of the spa without spending a fortune. =)

What is something you’ve never done but would like to do? 
I have always wanted to try zip lining, riding in a hot air balloon, and scuba diving. I would also like to travel all over. My bucket list includes Great Britain, Ireland, Spain, France, Italy, Greece, and Australia.

What is one thing that you find really funny? 
I love to watch Comedian Jeff Dunham

What is one thing you love about yourself? 
 People tell me that I am able to adapt to most situations and I can find something to talk about with everyone. I love people and I find every person interesting in their own way. I have always been able to make friends easy.

What is something you did that changed someone’s life? 
This is a hard question to answer, because I try to perform random acts of kindness almost daily, and I always hope that I somehow make their life a little better. I definitely believe in the philosophy of pay it forward.

What is something that not many people know about you? 
 Well I have a couple of things, not sure which would be the most surprising. I was in a nationally televised commercial when I was in High School that was shown at all of the Indianapolis Colts games. I was in a type of plane crash in 1991 in Colorado. I lived on my own my senior year of High School. Feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of those.

What part of your personality is extinct? 
I hope you don’t mind but I took a little liberty with this question and changed it a little bit.

If something is was a good part of your personality and it ceases to exist that isn’t a good thing. I prefer to think of it as hibernating. For me this was my creativity. This was something I definitely thought was extinct, but recently has found a spark and has comes back to life. Throughout my life, I had done different things to feed this side of my personality. I actively participated in the theatre in different capacities, and I enjoyed writing and was on the journalism staff and did speech and debate where I wrote originally oratories and poetry for competition. Then several years ago a few things happened to put my creativity in hibernation, one I got very busy with life and working way too many jobs, and going to school, etc. But probably one of the greatest factors was an English professor I had. For whatever reason, she did not like me, and after having her for a semester I no longer had any desire to write. She accused me of plagiarism, which I had to fight and was able to prove that I had not done that. And she was constantly putting comments on my works like “congratulations on changing a fiasco of a paper to a mediocre paper.” It is amazing how powerful words and actions can be……..Fast forward 20 years and I can honestly say that two things/people have really influenced me and help reignite my creative side. About rwo years ago my work sent me to a motivational event, and one of the presenters was a man named Erik Wahl. He is an artist that creates incredible paintings with his hands, timed to music. If you have never heard of him, I encourage you to check him out. He talked to us about a teacher when he was in elementary school telling him that he had no talent and he didn’t so much as pick up a crayon for over 20 years because of this. It brought back the memory of that English professor and really got me thinking about what I had given up. I honestly don’t remember what he said what motivated him to try art again, probably because my own brain was on overdrive thinking about the past and what I used to love to do. Just a little side fact about him, he no longer sells his art work, he donates it to charity auctions or gives it away through what he calls art drops (he hides the paintings and leaves clues on social media and the first person to find it, gets to keep it). The second influence has been my friend Jane Porter. I met Jane purely by accident about three years ago at a local Barnes and Noble. I had never read any of her books before, but became a fan that day. I got to know her through her blog and Facebook page. After going to few different events, where she talked about all things writing, the good, the bad, and even some of the ugly; it made me want to try writing again. I took a summer writing class and with Jane’s encouragement I went to a Romance Writer’s Conference this past spring. For now, I am only writing for me, but who knows what may happen in the future. I have made a promise to myself so that I never let my creative side become extinct again. I try to do something creative every day. I have been taking painting lessons and making home-made cards, and yes sometimes I do have to push myself out of my comfort zone to try something new and creative; but I am okay with that.

If you could give someone one of your favorite things as a gift, what would it be and why? 
I often give butterflies as gifts. They hold a very special place in my heart. While I have always loved butterflies, about 15 years ago, they became very significant part of my life. When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother told me that he came to visit her that night as a beautiful monarch butterfly and stayed beside her all night. My grandmother and I started giving each other butterflies back and forth after that day, so we would always have grandpa with us. Even though my grandma has Alzheimer’s and is in a facility, we still keep her surrounded by butterflies. When she was able to walk, we posted a large purple butterfly outside her room and that was how she knew which room was hers. I swear, if I am having a bad day or feeling a little lonely, a butterfly always crosses my path. Just the other day, a butterfly actually flittered all around me like it was hugging me before taking off. It brought a smile to my face and made me laugh out loud. It felt magical and I could almost see a little sparkly trail it was leaving behind. I enjoy giving butterflies to people, and some I tell the significance of them to me and others, it just feels right. If I know someone is struggling, I think a butterfly is the perfect gift to give them, because butterflies show us that is not easy to make it in this world, but that we are beautiful and we can take flight.