I can be a kook!

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for over a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Froggie asks: What is the greatest lesson you learned in 2012, and how do you plan to apply what you learned in 2013?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

When I would watch Friends in my 20s, I always thought I was more laid back and bohemian, like Phoebe. I couldn't ever imagine being like Monica, at least in terms of her clean freak side. In the episode where she's trying to let go of her obsessiveness, she says the following:

"Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook."

I was watching this video to remember why she said that and laughing more at the realization that I now have the same kinds of reactions that she did. If you want to see what I'm talking about, start at 1:45. (There's also a funny scene at 6:37.) And nowadays, I realize how similar I am to Claire on Modern Family. It's even scarier than the personality resemblance to Monica (because at least she could be a kook)!

Throughout the duration of the blog project, we've had a plan to get our posts up every Thursday (as well as share topics for the following week). I've only strayed from this a few times and it's only been when I'm insanely busy (like during the High Holidays and also one time recently). However, the others came to realize, rather quickly, that I get annoyed when everyone doesn't post on the same day. Doesn't even have to be at the same time. Just the same day. And worse yet, when someone doesn't share their topic for the following week on Thursday. At some point in the summer, I came to realize that I was being a bit obsessive over it and tried to chill out after that. "So what if people don't get their posts done on Thursday. And who cares if I have to wait a few more days for the next topic. I can be a kook!" I think I've backed off a lot since then. Sometimes I'd send subtle reminders to the individuals whose turn it was to share a topic, but I didn't do it in front of the whole group. (At least I hope I didn't.) That "kookiness" lasted until the week of Christmas, when our next post was "due" in two days and we didn't have a topic yet. I decided to ask everyone if we should just skip the week because it was that nerve wracking to me. We did end up skipping that week and I was hoping for the following week's topic to be shared amongst the group on Thursday anyway. Didn't happen. I was sending subtle hints and biting my nails over it until it finally was shared. Sorry, Froggie!!!

Having said that, I will confess that I am a control freak. This stems from owning a widely known book blog. My blog partner even told me that I'm rigid and I admitted to her that I'm a control freak. We had a good laugh over it because she wanted to call me a control freak but didn't want to insult me. I did her a favor by labeling myself. It's true though!!! I can't stand chaos. I even keep a set of guidelines for the Facebook group so people don't post random stuff or their own blogs all the time. I don't like being in a position where I don't know what is going on or my questions and requests are going unanswered. I even put deadlines all over stuff when it comes to my book blog, whether they're for authors/publishers or for people in the group. After the deadline is missed, I come back with a "you missed out...too bad" response.

I'm also a control freak at home. Especially when it comes to bedtime and getting ready in the morning. I set timers for the kids and if they fool around and miss breakfast before they have to leave, "too bad." (I send it with them to school, but it's usually something simple....I won't make them starve.) I even have rules for the bath that lead to consequences such as missing a story or having to shower instead. I think in terms of schedules and am especially rigid when it comes to getting ready for Shabbat. (More often in the winter than the summer.) I also feel like if I don't do certain things, they'll never get done. This applies to home stuff and blogging.

I've realized in all this that I need to become more of a "kook" or I'll forever be driving myself crazy. I need to trust that stuff will get done even when I'm not the one doing all of it. I need to be more lenient about schedules and deadlines. I'm hoping that in 2013, I'll ease up a bit on the things I can't control and just let them be. I'd like to be able to go on our first family vacation with the kids and not have every moment of the day scheduled out (even though that's hard to do at Disney World nowadays). While on that trip, I'd like to not go online at all and know that everything will be taken care of without me putting deadlines and reminders on each detail. Maybe I'll turn from Claire into Gloria, as a result. (Or go back to my Phoebe ways.)