To fear not...

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for almost two years and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Froggie asks: Are you afraid of success? Why or why not? Are you afraid of failure? Why or why not?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

If you didn't already know this, I have tasted the bitter fruits of failure. This wasn't the first time I had failed at something, nor would it be the last. However, I know what to expect from failure and it doesn't bother me so much. I just learn from my mistakes and get back on the proverbial horse. I go into something accepting that there's a chance it could fail, but I want to at least give it a try. This past fall, I wanted to do NaNoWriMo. I started a story but didn't get very far with it. After that, the motivation was gone. It doesn't mean I don't plan to write a story going forward. This just wasn't the right (or "write," in this case) one for me to be writing. When a story gets in my head and truly wants to be written, I think it will make itself known.

I've also tasted the sweetness of success. This is evident with my book blog, Chick Lit Central. Since the point in time when I wrote a post about it being legendary, it has soared to even higher heights! Last year, we were asked to be one of the hosts for International Chick Lit Month. We now have over 940 followers at the blog. There's tons of respect from authors and I get e-mails on a daily basis asking for us to feature certain authors or review certain books. It blows my mind! I definitely couldn't do it without a strong team though. It's no longer a solo effort, but I do still put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into it. And the magical ingredient, passion, takes it where it needs to go. So you can see, success doesn't scare me in the slightest.

What I do fear has something to do with success though. Change. I fear success launching me into some unknown stratosphere that doesn't fit in with the life I'm accustomed to. For example, if I ever were to write a novel and have it become a bestseller (a girl can dream, right?), the idea of touring different cities and being away from my family for long stretches of time would be hard for me to cope with. Sure, I envy people who get to travel and stay at hotels and get a peaceful night's sleep, but I would miss the goodnight kisses too much. I traveled one weekend last year with only my daughter and I missed my husband and sons a lot!

I do feel it is important to dream big, no matter how much I have going on in my life. I shouldn't have to sacrifice something I want for myself just because other things are going well in my life. Or because I'm going to be 40 in a few years. I know I'm capable of doing something that doesn't require a lot of effort because it won't inconvenience my life too much, when it's not necessarily my true passion. When I know I could do more, if given the opportunity, the unknown changes that go along with potential success are enough to scare me right back into that cozy life of convenience I've created for myself.

While I embrace failure and love success, fear of change is the only thing really holding me back sometimes. Then, watching Smash this week and seeing my new crush (Jimmy, played by hottie actor/singer, Jeremy Jordan) get his song performed on stage in front of both live and televised audiences made me think of the wonderful things that are possible in life and how I wouldn't mind having an already successful author endorse the book of my dreams someday. (If that's the equivalent to having a famous singer perform a song someone unknown wrote.)