Tribute to my BFF on her (almost) birthday

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for over a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Froggie picked the topic:  We're going freestyle. Everyone gets to choose what they want to write about. 

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock


I warned Froggie that picking a topic like this would be dangerous, given how much I love to write and tend to ramble on and on....

I have to "out" Froggie a bit today, since it's the eve of her birthday and when we do Jewish holidays, we always start the night before. So tonight will be Erev Froggie's birthday! I've decided to dedicate this post to her as she is my BFF, after all. :)

We met over 25 years ago at Banner Day Camp. We were in the same group since they were separated by grades. Since she and I were both going into sixth grade, we were placed together. There were a couple of sixth grade girl's groups, so we got lucky. We didn't really talk right away other than maybe to exchange the usual pleasantries. One day, however, she approached me to ask about what it was like to have braces. After the ice was broken, we got started talking and couldn't stop. I invited her to my birthday party that summer and she got me the soundtrack to Beverly Hills Cop 2 because it had "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael and that was such a taboo (meaning "funny" to sixth grade girls) song at the time.

When camp ended, we exchanged addresses and sent each other letters. For some reason, neither of us thought to pick up the phone until sometime that winter. Then we made plans to meet up at Deerbrook mall (I don't even know if that's even a valid mall anymore) and hang out for a while. I remember buying a Belinda Carlisle record at Flip Side that day. After that, we'd meet up on Saturdays when her mom got her hair done at a salon in Buffalo Grove. We'd get lunch at Wiener Take All and walk around the shops nearby. Sometimes we'd do sleepovers at each other's houses. She really saved my sanity in sixth grade, when I was dealing with bullies and just hating junior high. (I didn't even like the "friends" I had there.)

The summer between sixth and seventh grade, we went to an overnight theater camp. However, we weren't big fans of the girls in our bunk. At least we had each other. Needless to say, neither of us went back the following year. I went to her Bat Mitzvah that winter (and she went to mine the following summer). We still had our weekend get togethers, as usual. Our parents became friends during all this time, as well. Unfortunately, her father passed away a few months shy of her 14th birthday. I went to his funeral and spent time with her at his shiva. It was heartbreaking to see how sad she was when he was buried.

Every spring, there would be a carnival from Indian Princesses during a three-day weekend. She would stay over and we'd go to the carnival and then spend the next day at the mall. When I stayed at her place, we'd walk to Edens Plaza. I remember her mom taking us to Golf Mill one time to get us "Best Friend" necklaces that split apart, so that we'd each have a half. Then came New Kids on the Block. We were both big fans and listened to their music together all the time. We went to the concert in the winter of 1989, along with my sister. Her mom got to be the "lucky" chaperone.

While we always went to different schools, we still made time to get together, chat by phone, etc. High school was a blur, but I know we would still see each other whenever possible. Once we started driving, it was a lot easier to meet up. Then came moving day. My BFF moved to Texas the summer we graduated from high school. I was going to college in the fall anyway, so it's not like I would see her much. Upon starting school, we both got e-mail accounts and were soon writing all the time. I even went to visit her during spring break. She also came back to the Chicago suburbs for visits on occasion, as she still had family in the area. I visited her again in Texas one more time before she moved even further away....to Oregon. At that time, I had graduated college. We would call each other all the time to lament about our job searches. Eventually, I got to visit her in Oregon. She still teases me about my reaction to a sushi restaurant. We spent most of that visit just lazing around and watching TV, which is what I needed to some extent.

The following spring, she came back to Chicago for a visit and we had a blast hanging out. A group of us went to her favorite Chinese restaurant. She even got to meet "Will" and "Jack." She had such a good time that she decided to move back and was welcomed with open arms. We even worked together for a short period of time. We hung out a lot on weekends. I helped her look for an apartment and move in when she did (and luckily she found one not too far from me). I also went with her to adopt a cat. In turn, she introduced me to some friends who eventually led me to meet my husband and stood up in our wedding. I still love the speech she made at the reception. Around this same time, she would go to Makor Shabbat dinners with us in the city or she'd come to Shabbat dinners that we hosted at one of our apartments. I was thrilled that she got along with my husband, as that is so important to me.

The summer after my wedding, we had a falling out after a huge disagreement. (She did, however, come to my grandma's shiva.) The few months we weren't talking were really hard and I probably said things I regretted both to and about her. We eventually started talking again when we both had big things happening in our lives. We found out about them from other people though. I was actually upset that I didn't get to tell her about my pregnancy first. It was around the time I was starting to tell friends and she had to hear it from some gossipy people. However, it was an icebreaker and I'm thankful for that. I also didn't get to tell her directly when my son was born because a friend beat me to it. (I made sure she was the first friend to know about my other two pregnancies and births. Her reaction to my daughter's birth was priceless!) It took a while to break through the awkwardness, but we got back to a good place...perhaps an even better one. As I've learned from a story related to Hanukkah, sometimes things need to be broken in order to be better and stronger. We knew we couldn't be apart forever anyway.

However, shortly after my firstborn son turned one, my family (meaning my husband and son) and I moved to New Jersey. So Froggie and I were once again living in far apart states. I saw her whenever I was back in town for a visit. It took her five years to come visit us, but I'm glad she did when we were living in Maryland instead of in NJ. In the meantime, she also sent beautiful hand-knit blankets for my younger son and daughter after they were born. The kids know her as their "auntie" and my younger son even asks me to give him kisses like she does.

We've tried to introduce each other to our various passions. I took up knitting after she tried getting me to "drink the punch." I didn't stick with it for long though. She has yet to get me to do 5K runs, but she did teach me how to bake a pie from scratch when she came to visit. (Pie is the new cupcake after all!) I got her addicted to How I Met Your Mother and now we discuss it every week. More importantly, I got her more into reading. I know she's read books in the past, but not as much as she does now. It's fun when we can discuss books we've both read. It's like a whole new level of bonding. And then there's blogging. I'm glad she got me to participate in another blog project group after our first group went under.

There's a lot that has probably gone unsaid here, but if I said everything, I'd be here all day. All I know is that even though we are miles apart, it's like we're in the same room most of the time. We have lots of psychic moments too. It's hard to get us to stop talking once we get going. There's a book called MWF Seeking BFF, where a woman goes searching for a BFF in the town where she is currently living. She mentions having BFFs living far away but wants someone more local to connect with. However, I think that even if I have a lot of great friends where I currently live (as well as online), and have become really close with some women over the past few years, it's not the same. And even though the female friends I've connected with in high school, college, and  beyond are wonderful and I love them to pieces, we don't have the same history that I have with Froggie. She and I get each other's quirks and know each other's interests. We share a sense of humor and cry on each other's virtual shoulders. Not having her as part of my life is like not having one of my arms. She doesn't have any sisters, so I feel honored that she considers me to be a sister. I know we'll be close for a long time to come, as I always tell her about how we're going to be Golden Girls someday.

Join me in wishing Froggie a Happy Birthday and all the best in the year to come. She deserves it...especially for putting up with me all these years. ;)

That Friday song...or sale.

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for over a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Mom of Many picked the topic: Share your thoughts on Black Friday. Love it or hate it, everyone has an opinion on it!

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I don't like the Friday song by Rebecca Black. It's very monotonous and just goes to show that anyone can get their 15 minutes of fame.

Oh...that's not the Black Friday we're talking about?

BAZINGA!!!

Seriously, I only did Black Friday once. It was the year I first became a mom. I got up at THREE A.M. to go to Woodfield (in the Chicago suburbs) with my sister, a close friend and a couple of other women. It was freezing out that morning. While I got a lot of great deals, it got really crowded after a while. And I could have gotten similar deals at an outlet mall on a normal day. When I got back, I was all stressed and tired and had to go right back to my parenting duties (for a two month-old) and help my husband get ready for Shabbos, as we were hosting family friends.

Needless to say, it was the only time I ever did Black Friday. Nowadays, I think it's ridiculous how early they start it. Midnight?!? I recently saw a petition about Target taking people away from their family time to work Black Friday sales before Black Friday even starts. (I know they're doing this as I saw that my local Target opens at NINE P.M. on Thanksgiving itself.) There's so much consumerism and greed these days. While the sale prices can be nice and all, is it really worth fighting people in the malls while you could be spending quality time with loved ones? Why not just have the early sales online and have the in-store sales start at a reasonable hour?

I can't say I hate Black Friday because we have gotten good deals from it and we plan to purchase something special on sale for our kids. However, we'll be doing that online and not fighting the mall crowds. It's not like I even enjoy going to the mall anyway, given my thing against retail prices.

So much cooler online

As I was driving home from work the other night, I heard the song "Online" by Brad Paisley. This is the first time I ever recall hearing it, but I immediately thought "this is my new theme song!"

I have a confession to make. Like the chorus of the song says...I'm so much cooler online. It's like I have this other persona that takes over as soon as I log into Facebook. Like I could really start a book group and connect with authors if I had to do it all in person. (Not like it would even be that easy with everyone all over the place.) A few weeks ago, I went to visit the Hillel at a local university as part of a work seminar. For one of the activities, we all had to go around campus and engage students in conversation. It was like asking me to dive into the pool in swim class (which I managed to skip out on and never get caught). Thankfully, we got to partner up with someone and my partner was the ultimate guru when it comes to chatting up strangers. She even won us T-shirts, thanks to her conversational prowess. I tried to connect with people a few times, but felt so awkward! If I were to do a task like this online, I would have approached it the same way I just approach authors to do interviews at my blog. Piece. Of. Cake!

In general, I'm more self-conscious in front of people than I am online. If I were to approach a group of people, even those I know well, I wouldn't have much to say. I manage to let everyone else dominate the conversations. I also manage to hide behind my kids' clinginess at shul. If I'm watching over them, I have an excuse not to mingle. I will admit that I'm more comfortable approaching someone at shul than in a random public setting. I try to make new members feel welcome. However, trying to project my voice in a crowded and loud social hall takes a lot of effort.

I usually sound awkward when I talk, like I'm tripping over my words. I hate recording outgoing voice messages and even leaving messages for other people. I'm not a phone person either. I very much prefer being able to compose a message to someone and sound all witty and competent.

Then there's the matter of appearance. I rarely ever change my profile picture. I am lucky if I can find a relatively cute picture of myself to share on Facebook. Usually, I end up behind the camera more often than in front of it. My profile picture does not show how frizzy my hair can get or how hard it is to find an outfit that looks as nice on me as it does on the hanger.(And don't even get me started on finding a matching head covering on Shabbat.) As I'm writing this, I'm in a pair of pajama pants and my "Honey Badger" T-shirt that's bleached out on top. My complexion and weight could definitely use some work, as well.

I sing....like all the time. Well, not at work, but in the car, shower, while cooking, while putting the kids to bed, etc. I don't even know if I sound that great each time, but I sing to my heart's content. Lately, it has been Les Miz songs, in honor of the movie coming out soon.

Finally, I've mentioned this before and I'll say it again...I enjoy geek humor. That just says it all!

I still am me online. However, I'm just a cooler, more confident and even funnier version of myself. And cuter too. Let's not forget that!

I'll leave you with the video of the song that inspired this "confession." I love that Jason Alexander and some other actors from Seinfeld are in this. Maureen McCormick (a.k.a. Marcia Brady) and William Shatner also make appearances. And I could just watch Brad Paisley anytime. :) (Yes, that's another thing...I prefer guys like Brad Paisley over guys like Channing Tatum.)

Shopaholic Strikes Back

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, I picked the topic: What is your favorite and least favorite place to shop and why (for both)?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I thought the subject line would be a good title for another Sophie Kinsella novel. Maybe if she partnered with George Lucas...(or Disney these days).

Favorite:

When I first moved here, one of my friends kept telling me how I had to go to Value Village with her sometime. The first time I set foot in that store, I was blown away by the sheer magnitude of all the clothes, toys and books. It was before Halloween, so I stocked up on costumes for my kids to use for dress-up. Then I went back for their 50% off sale on Veteran's day and was in seventh heaven. The clothes are already marked down big time, so half off of that is practically a steal! I was able to put together my kids' wardrobes in no time! And pajamas too...don't even get me started. I don't believe in spending $12 on a pajama set when I can get it for $2 at Value Village! When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would get all my maternity clothes there. They had some cute and fashionable items. The best thing is that a lot of the clothing they sell is from popular retailers, such as New York and Company, Ann Taylor, The Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree, etc. Aside from the clothes, I've found some cool DVDs, such as boxed sets of Full House and My So-Called Life. I've also gotten tons of CDs to listen to in my car, including replacements for ones I had that were scratched up. And if I thought that my library's used bookstore was the best thing ever, the book prices at Value Village make that store look overpriced. I recently found Between the Lines by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leer for $2.50...in HARDCOVER! It's a relatively new book too. With Value Village, I never know what I'm going to find each time...it's like going on a treasure hunt! I've also been spoiled against paying retail prices, rendering trips to the mall as pointless. Value Village is part of a thrift chain called Unique. They are set up the same way. Unique is closer to my office, so I go there on special sale days or if I need to stock up on clothes.

Least favorite:

You'd think that someone like me would instantly shun Home Depot because I've always hated hardware stores. As a kid, I thought they were boring, but I don't mind them now because I can easily get in and out with just what I need and nothing more. I only wish that were the case with Bed, Bath and Beyond. I have major problems with going to B3. It's just too overwhelming and I know that once I'm sucked into their vortex, I won't be able to leave without spending a ridiculous amount of money. To me, B3 is like a casino in Las Vegas. There are no windows, except in the front. There are no clocks, or at least none that I can recall. And the smells of candles and fresh linen are pumped through the air at regular intervals. Then there are the weekly 20% off coupon mailings. It's like those guys in Vegas who slap their hand to grab your attention and then give you a pamphlet advertising prostitutes. The coupons don't really do much since they're for one item and if it's not a crazy expensive item, you may just get a dollar off if you're lucky. There's one item I usually need, which is a plastic tablecloth cover. However, those are not sold at their online store and that forces me to go to the store as a result. It's like they know the one way to lure me into their clutches! And I have to go halfway around the store before finding the item. So I pass all the cooking utensils and question whether I need any of them, lest my cooking become a disaster otherwise. And then there are the other clearance racks around the store, selling all sorts of interesting items. As I make my way toward the front of the store, they have DVDs and other gift items. Finally, there will be items displayed to catch my eye as I'm checking out, making me wonder if I should be getting those, as well. I leave the store in the throes of a panic attack, wondering if I even got what I came there for and if I potentially missed out on some great deal that will never come around again. Now you can see how B3 is torturous to someone who is spoiled against retail prices...

Toe pick!

Every time I think about ice skating, I think of Moira Kelly saying "toe pick" in The Cutting Edge. Yesterday was no exception. I visited our local ice skating rink for the first time since we moved here. Really though, I wouldn't have a reason to go there before, as I can't ice skate to save my life. I tried back in college and failed ever-so-miserably. I don't have the ankle strength to support myself on ice skates. I felt bad not being able to help my son today when he went skating at a friend's birthday party. However, I was so proud to see how determined he was to figure it out. He got help from a friend of ours (the father of the birthday boy), which I totally appreciated. Then he grabbed onto the side and kept moving. Eventually, he decided to move away from the wall, but kept the distance short.

Watching my son made me think of all the times I would go roller skating as a kid. I used to love roller skating! At first, it was as scary to me as ice skating. However, there's more of a balance with four wheels set two in a row than one long blade. I eventually got the hang of it, and stopped hanging on to other people for dear life. Once I got going on my own, I didn't want to stop. I used to go to a rink called Village Skate out in Mundelein, Illinois. This was way before it became all sketchy. On Tuesday nights, I think they had a special deal going on. I was there almost every Tuesday night for that reason. They would turn down the lights, put on the disco ball, get out the fog machine and play music videos. I could have skated for hours. It was so relaxing. 

When I was in college, I tried to roller skate again. However, just like with hula hooping, I completely lost the skill. I was volunteering at a Boys and Girls Club event out by my school. They were having a roller skating night in a gymnasium. I tried to hold my own for a while, but I didn't possess nearly half the grace I did as a kid. I managed to fall right on my back and ended up sore for a while after that. It was the last time I ever roller skated and I can't even fathom trying it now. I think I'll just live vicariously through my kids, especially since my son wants ice skating lessons now....

Letting go of the wall...

Kiss on my list

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Moma Rock picked the topic: On an episode of Friends, Ross creates a laminated top five list of hot celebrities he'd canoodle with, if ever given the chance. Who would be on your laminated top five list?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I have always had crushes on celebrities. When I was younger, I longed for Michael J. Fox and Patrick Swayze. Later it was John Stamos and Luke Perry during my high school years and then David Duchovny when I was in college. Eventually, I reached my Adam Lambert phase. Nowadays, if I were to make a list, the following individuals would be on it. However, knowing how my tastes change over time, I don't know that I could laminate it. That would make things too final. Also, I think the farthest I'd go with canoodling would be a make-out session. Regardless of how hot someone is, I couldn't give them the same sort of "attention" I give to my husband.

Jason Segel: My crush on him came from watching How I Met Your Mother and I think it's more because he reminds me of my husband. I could see myself just hanging out with him and having a fun time though. I love to laugh and I know the humor would be guaranteed.

Matt Lanter: He's just incredibly hot. He doesn't even have to talk. I wouldn't mind the kind of making out I've seen him capable of on 90210. And he has such a great speaking voice...all deep and intense. He's definitely been on my list ever since he first appeared on the show.

Dean Geyer: He is one of the new guys on Glee, playing a potential love interest for Rachel. He makes Finn seem even more dull in comparison. Not only is he charmingly sexy, but he can also carry a tune.

Reid Scott: He played Brendan on the show My Boys and was such eye candy. I don't know what PJ saw so attractive about Bobby with Brendan around. I know he was on Veep this past summer and I still need to see that show. I also found out his birthday is the day before my husband's...same year too. How funny is that? He just has this laid back look to him and I love his smile.

Jamie Cullum: I think it's his Harry Connick Jr. appeal (speaking of....I also think HCJ is sexy). He has such an amazing voice that it just sends tingles down my spine. He could seduce me just by singing!

There are other celebrities that probably could have made this list, but things can always change in a year or so. Maybe it won't be laminated as much as covered in a sheet of contact paper that is easily replaceable....

The elephant and donkey in the room

Whenever there’s a talent contest that accumulates in one person taking the title, I am usually filled with nervous energy and anticipation in the final moments before the ultimate winner is announced. My heart beats really fast, my palms sweat, I am on the edge of my seat. I felt this way especially during the Legally Blonde auditions on MTV, the American Idol finals with Adam Lambert and season two of The Glee Project. I also anticipate feeling this way on Election day, when the fate of the country will once again be decided by who is elected as President.

I'm not a political person at all whatsoever. It's even surprising to me that I chose to live by the most political city in the US, leaving behind a lifestyle of seeing Broadway shows. I only really know what I hear from other people, in news articles and in campaign ads. I didn't watch any of the debates, as I had the Cliff Notes version through Facebook. I don’t air my political views on social media sites. I think the most I did on Facebook was mention the PBS issue. (Sorry, but I have kids!) I think that based on a recent blog project post I did about which President I’d want to meet, it’s pretty clear who I am voting for. Having said that, I am not going to comment on your Facebook page if you are voting for the other candidate. I don’t see the need to slam them to your face (…book friends). If you are supporting my candidate choice or mentioning distaste for their opponent, you’ll get a “like” from me and possibly a supportive comment. However, I’m NOT telling you who to vote for. I don’t know everyone’s political views, nor do I ask unless I feel it’s important for further discussions or so that I don’t offend them.

I realized recently that I never discussed politics with my husband, nor did I even ask him who he was voting for. I was hoping that we would agree since we’re so alike in so many ways, and was both relieved and thrilled when he blatantly announced the views that were so aligned with mine. I do have to wonder what it’s like in homes where couples disagree politically. Do they talk about their reasons? Or is it that elephant in the room (pardon the political pun)? Has a relationship or a friendship ever been affected by opposing political viewpoints? Lisa Ling asked a similar question on Facebook recently.

With all the back and forth campaigning going on, I feel like the girl in this video. I will admit I love the ads that support my candidate choice. However, the ads supporting the other candidate make me grit my teeth and want to smack someone. I get so annoyed by them! I won’t give details as I don’t want to start debates, but they just eat at me. Then there are all the back and forth ads about senators, governors, mayors, etc. (I don't even know which is which. Sad, huh?) There are also the ads about certain laws that we need to vote on.

This election feels more intense than past elections. Maybe it's because I live so close to where all the action is this time. Even so, it feels like the candidates are so completely different and there are so many people voting on either side, it could be a tight race. I know I’ll be biting my nails with fervor until the results are announced. And I will be up front right now that if the other candidate wins, I will be a grumpy girl the next day. However, if my candidate wins, I’ll bring treats in to work to celebrate!

I strongly encourage everyone to vote if you live in the United States and are eligible. This is a huge election and every vote counts! (Of course, if you're voting for my candidate, I EXTRA strongly encourage you....)

Flair for the hair

I've been blogging with three fabulous women for a year and a half now and have been enjoying all the fun topics we come up with week after week. If you want to see what we've discussed in the past, check out our posts here.

This week, Froggie picked the topic: Tell us about the fashion trend, or trends, you'd like to see make a comeback.

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I've never really kept up with the latest fashions, as it is, so I didn't know how I'd even approach this topic. The one thing that kept coming back to me was hair accessories. Here are a few I'd like to see make a comeback....

Ribbon barrettes:
I know they're more for kids, but I'd love for them to be around when my daughter has longer hair. I think she'd look so cute in the ribbon barrettes I wore as a child. They were just multicolored ribbons weaved around a flat barrette with dangling ribbons at the end. I know I've shared this picture before, but it best illustrates what I'm talking about.

Banana clips: 
When I had longer hair in my youth, I loved banana clips because I had unruly layers and they pulled everything together into a nice ponytail. While I can't find any pictures to illustrate this concept, just take my word for it. They looked like the shape of a banana and had comb pieces spread apart on each side. The sides would come together to gather all the hair and then you'd clip it on top. Voila!

Scrunchies:
There's an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie gives Berger grief about having his main character wear a scrunchy in his story. Apparently, scrunchies went out of style a while back. They were basically ponytail accessories. Something to add color in your hair. I had lots of scrunchies during my college years and I'd coordinate them with my clothes, giving me an excuse to wear lots of ponytails. When I worked at the evil pancake empire, I wore them all the time, changing the colors every day to add variety. I even had one to wear on Independence Day. If scrunchies came back in style, I would totally let my hair get long again.

Nowadays, I'll wear a scarf as a headband (or as a head covering on Shabbat). That's about as stylish as I get with accessorizing my hair. I can't wait for my daughter to wear some fun accessories in her hair. Right now, she has a headband that holds her cochlear implant in place, but when she's able to wear them over her ears (like my son does), I'm going to go to town buying barrettes, headbands, ponytail holders, etc. I'm all about hair accessories!