My latest guilty pleasure: Why Women Kill

A friend had recommended Why Women Kill, and since we have the same taste in TV shows, I was intrigued. I'm so glad she told me about this show because it was really good! I wish there had been more than two seasons though. The series was created by Marc Cherry, who also did Desperate Housewives. It definitely has a similar feel to that show, but it's a bit campier given the timelines. 

There are two separate stories between the two seasons. Season one and season two are not connected at all, except by one actor from season one who narrates season two. (He even says "yes..." all the time like Mary Alice did on DH.) However, both are fabulous and so much fun to watch!

Season one is about one house that has three different couples living there over three different time periods. The first is Beth Ann and Rob, in the early sixties. Beth Ann is a housewife who finds out that Rob has been cheating on her and decides to take matters into her own hands, in a very satisfying way. Simone and Karl are living in the house in the early to mid-eighties. The fashion at the time reminds me of Dynasty or some cheesy soap opera. Simone finds out a little secret about Karl and tries not to let it ruin their marriage before her daughter's wedding. However, she has an interesting secret of her own. Finally, Taylor and Eli are living in the house in 2019. They have an open marriage and bring a very attractive woman into their home. Things only spiral from there... There is a star-studded cast for season one, which features Ginnifer Goodwin, Sam Jaeger, Jack Davenport, Lucy Liu, Reid Scott, and Alexandra Daddario (whose brother is in season two), just to name a few. The mayor from Ginny and Georgia even makes a few appearances (but as a completely different character). I also loved the opening bits of each episode. They were done in these fun and creative ways. One of the opening bits reminded me of Little Shop of Horrors.

Season two all takes place in 1949. Alma Fillcot is also a housewife and doesn't keep up with her appearance. She desperately wants to join an elite gardening club, run by the very wealthy and snobby Rita Castillo. (If Natalie from Girls Just Want to Have Fun was an adult, that would be Rita.) Rita belittles Alma, even when she earns the respect of the other women in the club. In the meantime, there are some twisted things going on in Alma's home and Rita becomes connected to her in a very strange way that sets off a huge rivalry. Things just get out of control after that, but I won't say anything more. As far as the cast goes, I've only seen Allison Tolman once, on The Mindy Project, but thought she was intriguing. She's a great actress, especially in her role as Alma! I vaguely recognized some of the other actors, but there was a fun side appearance from Rachel Bay Jones (Heidi in the Original Broadway Cast of Dear Evan Hansen). I also found out that Grace was played by the actress who was CJ on Fuller House (DJ's rival for Steve's affections). While everyone else was mostly new to me, it was a great cast.

If you haven't seen this show yet, it's available on Paramount Plus and so worth binge watching! 

Spoilers are below the trailers for anyone who has already seen it.

Trailer for season one:

Trailer for season two:

Spoilers: 

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It feels like forever since I saw season one, even though it was about a month or so. I will try to remember what I can to talk about it here.

Favorite characters from season one:

1. Beth Ann: She was by far the best from this season. I love how devious she was and how she went about living this double life in order to get Rob to admit he cheated on her.

2. Karl: I felt bad for him most of the time since he was living in an era where it was taboo to be gay and couldn't openly be out about it. And then when it was discovered, everyone shamed him for it. He was a genuinely good guy and it was sad what he was going through. I'm glad Simone came around and looked after him as a friend instead of as a wife. 

3. Taylor: She was all-around cool and had her act together. 

4. Tommy: I feel like a cougar just for liking him, even though the actor who plays him is obviously older than 18. He was really sweet to Simone.

5. April: She seems like she'd be a fun friend to have, and if you were Beth Ann, you'd almost have to forgive her for sleeping with your husband and getting pregnant as a result. 

Least favorite characters from season one:

1. Eli: He was just annoying and self-pitying. I think Taylor could do better in the husband department. I am glad he improved a bit by the end, but I just wasn't impressed by him at all.

2. Rob: Um, obviously!!! It was bad enough that he cheated, but to blame Beth Ann for the death of their child, which happened as a result of him bringing a mistress into his house. No wonder she came up with the plan she did.

3. Ralph (the abusive husband): No one likes an abusive husband in general. I love how Beth Ann used the situation to get him to kill Rob so that he'd be put away. I just want to know what happened with Mary after that. 

4. Naomi (Tommy's mom): She could have talked to Simone about what was happening with Tommy, but instead she decided to make everyone's life hellish and she used Karl's illness in the process.

5. Sheila: I don't think she was that supportive of a friend to Beth Ann. I know she didn't like what was going on, but given that Rob was the one who cheated, she should have been in cahoots with Beth Ann instead of pushing back all the time.

I liked how they transferred the house between people so you could see what everyone was up to after a certain amount of time. I got teary-eyed when Simone talked about the AIDS foundation she started. And finding out that Tommy became an artist. I was really happy for Beth that she made a new life for herself and stayed close with April and her daughter. It was also nice to see that Eli survived the stabbing and it seemed like he got his life together. 

I also love how everything came together at the end of season one, where it looked like they were all in the house at the same time during the action. That was really clever. The transitions between scenes were also great. Like someone would get into a car in one scene and then you'd see someone else driving in the next scene.

Season two:

It's really hard to pick favorite and least favorite characters since so many had multiple layers. Dee and Vern were the constants for the story. They were reliable narrators but stuck in some messy situations. I liked them together a lot. 

Alma had the Zack Morris effect going for her. She's obviously the protagonist, but when she transforms into one of the mean women, I still wanted her to win somehow. She had such an interesting story arc. I wanted to see if she could really get away with everything she did. I also wouldn't mind having her get revenge on certain people who are long overdue for their karma. She looks like a friend of mine (she has a similar face) whom I wish she would help the most in delivering karma to someone who has horribly wronged this friend. 

While Rita was a beyotch most of the time, I also wanted to see her put one over on Catherine. I actually felt bad for her when her life fell apart and she looked so vulnerable after that. So I actually enjoyed some of her scheming tactics in regard to getting Catherine off her back. As I was writing about Rita, this came up in my Facebook feed:

Scooter seemed like a caricature in some ways. Like he was attractive but he could be really stupid sometimes. I found him to be annoying for the most part.

I also didn't like Catherine all that much. I wanted to like her sometimes, but she was just embarrassing. How did she not suspect Rita of the setup with Scooter? She knew Rita was cheating on her dad and Scooter's appearances seemed pretty coincidental. Maybe she just didn't want to see the connection? 

Bertie is a mixed bag. He killed all those people but then was appalled when Alma wanted to do the same. I know he had different reasons, but he still killed people anyway. Maybe they could have gotten help for their suffering instead somehow. I didn't see Maisie asking him to kill her in the first episode. Also, what did he really tell Vern. It sounds like he pinned everything on Alma before he killed himself. 

I really liked Dee a lot. I wish she had been able to get a new job though. It seems like she relied on Vern for everything as soon as she lost her job. She seemed like someone who could stand on her own, so I was surprised by that. It was also dumb for her to return Mrs. Yost's items without putting gloves on or something to keep her fingerprints off them. Especially after the nephew told her the items were missing. She should have hidden them or dumped them somewhere instead. 

As for Vern, I was kind of hoping he'd let everything go after Isabel's "confession". I know he was trying to stay on the right side of the law, but it also would have been interesting to let Alma get caught in the act instead of confronting her first. 

There were a couple of relationships that seemed interesting for 1949. The friend who introduced me to the show pointed out that no one seemed bothered by the interracial relationship between Vern and Dee. While I'm glad no one made trouble for them, it was surprising for that time period for people to turn a blind eye. I also wasn't expecting the lesbian affair between Grace and Joan. I kind of wish Joan had just confessed to it, but it was seen as taboo in that time period. Nowadays, no one would bat an eyelash. 

Overall, season two was more farcical in nature, but I enjoyed every moment of it! I was hoping for more of a twist to the story, but I was surprised by a lot of what had happened.

What are your thoughts on Why Women Kill?

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Whatever it takes: Thoughts on Degrassi: Next Class

Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Since I loved Degrassi: The Next Generation so much, I just had to continue the fun by watching Degrassi: Next Class. While it picks up where TNG left off, there are only ten episodes per season, and only four seasons altogether. So there's not a lot of time for character and plot development and a lot of things get dropped. There are some intense moments, but even those get rushed. Like after a huge cliffhanger at the end of season two, the beginning of season three was basically a montage to get to the next plot point. This being the case, I'm going to write about four seasons all in one post.

This time around, my younger son was watching the show with me. There were some awkward moments on the show that I wish he hadn't seen, but he was mature about it. Most importantly, he and I agreed on how awful Esme was. 

Before I go on, I wanted to list my top five favorite characters from this series:

1. Zig: Even though he had some bad moments, I still like him so much. 

2. Grace: She is so down-to-earth and doesn't take crap from anyone. It was also nice to see her vulnerable side. 

3. Yael: If anyone deserves to have "This is Me" from The Greatest Showman as their theme song, it's Yael. 

4. Tiny: He's grown and changed a lot from TNG and was really likable through all four seasons. He was so sweet to Shay too. 

5. Jonah: He started off as a bit guarded on this series, but then grew more likable over time. I loved watching him and Grace together. 

Least favorite characters:

1. Esme: She is so manipulative and just incredibly unlikable. If there were time for her to become a better person, that would be nice, but there never was and now she lives on in infamy. 

2. Hunter: I tried to like him after he got out of the psychiatric hospital, but then I hated how he treated Yael once they came out as nonbinary. 

3. Zoe's mom: I can't get on board with any parent who kicks their child out of their home for being gay. 

Season one:

The new intro is a fun twist on the TNG theme song.

I'm glad Snake is back as the principal. 

Miles is still a handful. I'm glad he got disqualified from the presidency. I also had a feeling his parents were getting back together. He's so ridiculous with the drug use. I hope he can actually benefit from the addiction counseling.

That's something new, with Grace having cystic fibrosis. You don't see that mentioned much in shows. I like how Zoe is sticking around though.

I am glad Frankie's friends catfished her because it could have totally been another Emma situation otherwise. 

Tiny has changed a lot and I'm glad he's not in a gang anymore. He and Shay could be cute together.

I don't like Jonah's new hairstyle or personality. I hope the latter will at least change over time. It's interesting to see him and Frankie together. He seems to go for these really nice girls who have been through something stressful. Hmm...

I don't really feel bad for Shay. Her parents were open to meeting Tiny and she shut that down. If he lost interest because of that, it's not his fault. She could have told him what was going on. 

I'm annoyed that Tristan ruined what could have been a good thing because he's still dwelling on Miles, who doesn't deserve to be dwelled upon. 

Even though the feminist girl was being frustrating, Hunter's racist comment was out of line. I'm worried for Maya with all the cyberbullying she's experiencing. The stuff that's going on is so next level. I'm glad it got resolved, but Hunter has some major issues that he needs help with. I was hoping he'd be sent to juvie, like Luke was in TNG. I'm glad Miles could diffuse the potential shooting, but it was strange for Hunter to go after Maya in the first place when Goldi was the one who got the video game club shut down. 

That was not cool what Zoe did with Zig to make Grace jealous. She needs to deal with rejection better. It's sad that Zoe blew up Maya and Zig's relationship because she wanted to get back at Grace. 

I had a feeling Tristan just had a UTI. He should have seen a doctor before scaring other guys and looking like an idiot. 

The music producer was being a jerk to Maya, but I get that he was also being realistic. 

I'm glad Miles is going to boarding school. Esme was so manipulative. He definitely needs to get out of there for a while. 

Season two:

I'm glad Miles told his mom about what Hunter was really doing and that Hunter is finally getting some help. 

I was really annoyed at Lola for telling Zig that his cheating was Maya's fault. I don't blame Maya for cooling off on Zig a bit. I hope he can repair things though.

I hope Frankie owns up to the racist painting. I'm glad Shay said something to her. Frankie seems a bit out of touch with reality in regards to racism. I hope she can repair the rift she has created, especially now that she has learned something about herself from running away.

It was a fun surprise to see Peter again. I wonder if he'll be on more now that Maya got the co-op job.

It seems like Grace and Zig are inching toward potentially hooking up. That might be complex with Maya and Grace being friends.

Zoe needs to let go of what people think of her and be a lesbian if she wants to. It was rude what she said to Tristan about being normal. I wonder how long she can convince Winston that she's into him. I like how Winston stood up for her to Esme.

I like Yael and hope there will be more storylines about her soon.

Episode five was so good! It was like a mini-reunion. I love how the characters from TNG would refer to things that happened a long time ago. It was so nice to see everyone again. It looks like Paige and Marco are on good terms now. Paige's eyebrows got really dark. It seems strange that Spinner and Emma weren't hanging out together but he later mentioned being married. 

I am glad Lola is standing up for what she believes in. It gives her more substance. I'm glad that Shay didn't end up caving to what the sports camp wanted her to say. This show opens up a lot of conversations about racism. 

I am glad Tiny told Lola how he was feeling about Shay. I wish Zoe would be as honest with Winston since she is clearly using him to stay in the closet. 

I'm glad Tristan and Miles were able to patch things up with their relationship.

Too awkward with Zig's dance audition. I hope Esme doesn't try to make a play for him. I'd rather he get together with Grace. It sucks that he's not into Grace that way though.

I'm glad Grace told more people about having cystic fibrosis. I'm also glad Maya told Winston that she's gay and that he was so supportive. 

It's nice that Peter recognized Maya's talent and is giving her a new opportunity. 

I'm glad Frankie apologized to everyone over the racist drawing and I hope she has learned her lesson. I'm also glad that Shay stood up for herself more. Lola shouldn't be able to dictate who dates each other. Shay and Tiny are cute together. 

Sounds like Hunter is more self-aware and I'm glad he is trying to make things work with Yael. Hopefully she will be good for him. 

Scary about the bus accident! I don't think they're going to get rid of half the main characters though. 

Season three:

It's sad that Tristan is still in a coma after 10 weeks. I really hope he will be okay and that they don't kill him off the series. 

I thought Hunter wasn't allowed to go back to Degrassi. There never was any closure with his online harassment situation.

I'm glad Zoe is starting to come out more and I hope she'll be able to tell her mom soon.

I don't like that Esme is with Zig now. I feel like she's manipulating him. I don't like her in general as she's always mean to everyone. 

Lola is still annoying me a lot and now she's taking Hunter's attention away from Yael and also moving in on Miles.

I like Jonah's hair now. I don't like Maya's hair though. 

What is the deal with Maya wanting those pictures? Seems a bit disturbing. I get why she wanted to do them, but I also hope she can get the help she needs to feel like herself again. 

I like that they have Muslim characters on the show that are starting new dialogue about religion, prejudice, etc. Rasha seems really cool and I wish Miles gave her the lead role in his show. 

I'm glad Tristan is alive, but it's sad that he has TBI. I wonder what will happen for him going forward. It seems like he's able to communicate in some way, which is good. He even talked a little bit in the season finale and he's getting his sense of humor back. 

Lola really got herself into it with taking birth control pills the wrong way and sleeping with Miles. I'm sure she'll end up getting pregnant.....And I was right. I can't say I'd make the same choice she did, but I get why she made it. When Erica did the same thing on Degrassi High, she got a lot of flack for it. I guess times have changed a lot. I wonder how this will affect things with Miles going forward.

I like Zoe and Rasha together and I wonder how things will work when both of them have to be mostly closeted. 

I still can't stand Esme. That's all. (Also, she made Maya's situation all about herself. She doesn't even like Maya.)

It's unfortunate that Frankie and Jonah are taking a break, but they haven't really been jiving well lately. I ship him with Grace though. It was lame that Frankie was snooping through his e-mails. I'm kind of glad she got caught. It was out of line that she went behind Hunter's back to fix things with Yael too.

While it was nice to see Katie again, it's scary what happened with Maya. I hope she goes to a psychiatric rehab to get more help. Kind of interesting that she went the drug route since Katie had a drug problem for a while. 

It sucks that Zoe's mom kicked her out, but I'm glad Zoe stood up for herself. It's also good that she and Rasha are doing okay now. 

Scary about Grace's prognosis. I hope she can get a lung transplant soon. She's still one of my favorites.

Did Maya and her mom move to a different house? Either that, or they're not utilizing the same rooms they usually do. 

Season four:

I'm glad Jonah and Grace are finally together. I don't feel bad for Frankie since she was the one snooping through his e-mails. 

Esme gets more and more unlikable as the series goes on. Ugh!! I really want Zig and Maya to get back together. 

I don't like how people are treating Saad. He only punched Zig because Zig was picking on him and broke his camera, and that was because of Esme putting ideas into Zig's head.

I can totally relate to what Yael is going through physically. I can't say I wouldn't shave, but it's annoying that Hunter was trying to make them do it.

Scary about the racist incident with Goldi. I'm glad she's going to help other students. 

The dick pic incident with Winston was funny. I figured it was a misunderstanding, but weird that he would send it to Miles.

I'm glad Tristan is doing so much better, but it would be nice to get an episode from his perspective and also see how he got from waking up from his coma to where he is now. 

It's nice that Maya is getting back into writing music. It was sweet how Tristan was helping her. I'm glad that Craig invited her to "audition" for his opening act. That would be really cool for her and it's nice that he validated her feelings behind the suicide song.

Saad is complex, but I feel bad for him. I get why he said what he did and was annoyed that people weren't giving him a chance to explain himself better. 

I am glad Yael figured out who they really are and I'm annoyed that Hunter was being a jerk to them. Lola scored brownie points with me for helping them out though. 

I wish Zig would just dump Esme and date Frankie exclusively. Or just go back to Maya altogether. He should really apply for culinary school though. 

It's nice that Rasha and Zoe are still together, even after Zoe kept messing things up.

I'm so glad Zig finally broke up with Esme after she pretended to have an allergic reaction to get his attention. I hope there's still possibility for him and Maya though.

It's sad that Tristan broke up with Miles, but I get why he did it. It seems like they're still amicable and I'm guessing Tristan may have ended up with his roommate? 

Tiny's promposal to Shay was cute. 

I hope Yael doesn't try to get Saad in trouble from taking the picture of his conversation...And, of course, they did. As much as I love them, I didn't like that they told the police Saad was responsible for the bomb threat in any way. I'm glad Saad accepted their apology and it was sweet that Lola kissed him.

Esme needs some serious help, like the kind Hunter got a while back. She was not getting any of what Zig was saying and she almost killed him. 

It's sad that Zoe's mom didn't show up to graduation and I guess we'll never know what that letter said. I love how her friends were so supportive though. I can't say she's my favorite mean girl to nice girl transformation, but I'm glad she is more likable now. 

I love the way they ended the series with little follow up pictures. Miles went to Europe. Grace got her new lungs. Tristan graduated from rehab. And Maya and Zig were together in a car. :) 

If you watched this series, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Degrassi TNG seasons 13 and 14

Photo courtesy of TVLine

If you're reading this post, it means I have finished watching all fourteen seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation. This show has become a lifeline for me during the pandemic and I couldn't get enough of it. I got my friend hooked on it, so thankfully I can relive past seasons vicariously through her. (I'm so excited about who she has yet to meet!) I feel so connected to the characters, even though they are in high school. I've even had dreams about some of them! So much has happened to each one that I was worried the school was cursed or something. No one could avoid having at least one bad thing happen to them during their time at Degrassi. I loved all the drama on the show. It was better than a soap opera! I even found myself reeling after some episodes that had big game changers. I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to watch Degrassi: The Next Generation and I definitely plan to watch Next Class soon.

I recently watched It Goes There: Degrassi's Most Talked About Moments after finishing the series. It's definitely worth checking out! It was also nice to see some of the cast looking all grown up. 

I'm listing some favorites below. I'm not explaining why for the overall series, as you will have seen in past posts why they were chosen throughout the time I was watching.

Top five favorite guys from the series:

1. Marco

2. J.T. 

3. Eli

4. Adam

5. Sav

Top five favorite girls from the series:

1. Holly J.

2. Fiona

3. Ellie

4. Jane

5. Imogen

Favorite characters from these past two seasons:

1. Zig: At first, I found him annoying and then I didn't like what he was doing with his life. That all changed when he moved into Maya's house and started softening up a bit. I hope to see more of him in Next Class.

2. Becky: Originally, I couldn't stand her when she quit working on the show for homophobic reasons. Then she fell in love with Adam and changed so much as a result. Sticking up for Zoe, even though it meant getting her brother into huge trouble, sealed the deal for me. She's not the same person that she was at the beginning of season twelve and I ended up liking her a lot. 

3. Tristan: I first thought he was over the top in terms of his personality, but then he grew up a bit more and his personality worked on him as he matured. I really like who he is now, even though he enjoys stirring up trouble sometimes. He cracks me up too.

4. Frankie: She's just fun to watch and I can't wait to see what happens for her going forward. Hopefully nothing bad! She has a great singing voice. 

5. Grace: I just like her personality a lot. She doesn't take BS from anyone. She also can be really nice when she wants to. 

Check out my first post about this series.

Check out my thoughts on seasons three and four.

Check out my thoughts on seasons five and six.

Check out my thoughts on seasons seven and eight.

Check out my thoughts on seasons nine and ten.

Check out my thoughts on seasons eleven and twelve.

Season thirteen:

No more long intro! Now I have to guess who some of the new actors are playing. Also surprising that Tori is already off the show. 

I came into the season in the wrong order, thanks to some mistake on YouTube. I then watched the other episodes to catch up to when that episode happens, so it was fun to see how everything fell into place.

If I didn't already love Eli, I do even more now. I feel bad for what Clare has to go through, but I'm glad she has him as her cheerleader. I can't believe he even remotely stepped out on her though. I wonder if their relationship will be okay. Especially now that Clare kissed Drew and is fantasizing about him. I feel bad for Eli that Clare broke up with him, but their relationship was starting to drift. Although it seems like they could get back together again. Yet there's the bombshell for Clare, and I'm guessing it involves Drew....

I think it was a bit demanding of Becky to tell Adam not to hang out with Imogen. I'm annoyed that she got mad at Adam for acting jealous of Todd.

I feel bad for Tristan having to see Miles make out with Zoe. Tristan looks really good this season. And it looks like he might still have potential with Miles...

I don't like Imogen's new glasses. The other ones enhanced her face more. These new ones hide her face a bit.

It was bad enough they killed off JT, but ADAM?!? So, so, so sad! The tribute video and celebration of his life was such a tearjerker. I hope this speaks volumes to anyone considering texting and driving.

It will be interesting to see how things go for Drew this year. They're not starting off too well. I feel bad that Bianca ended things. I'm glad he's trying to be a better president though. I like the chemistry between him and Claire more than I was expecting to. Too bad things went south between them. I hope they can get back to a good place together soon. It looks like they're on that path again. 

I really don't like Zoe. Maybe she'll change like Paige and Holly J. did. I'll give it some time. I hated what she did to Maya over the internet though. I don't see how they will ever become friends, but somehow I also see it happening in the future. I didn't like how she was so manipulative with Drew and then acted like a victim. I do feel bad for her about what happened at the party. I'm glad Luke and the other guy got in trouble for it. I hated how Luke was trying to pull a Brock Turner defense. I love how Drew, Dallas, Miles, and the others were there for Zoe at the end of the episode. I'm also glad she's taking more ownership of her life. I felt bad for her with the whole trial situation. The defense lawyer was awful. How can women do that to each other? 

I'm not sure I trust Leo yet. The arm grabbing sent off Rick vibes. I like that Alli is calling the shots and I hope he is able to change. It's horrible that he beat her up again and I'm glad Alli told the cops on him. I hope he will be deported. I was worried it would get to the point where Alli ended up in the hospital like Teri. I'm so glad she is taking steps to get him out of her life.

Zig changed a lot. I wasn't expecting to see him looking and acting so different. I find his whole bad boy thing really annoying. I thought toward the end of last season, things were better between him and Maya and that there was promise of possibility. 

I'm glad Dallas got his act together. I was getting worried for a while. I love how supportive he's been of Alli with her whole abusive ex-boyfriend situation. I'm so glad Dallas and Alli are finally together. 

Maya and Miles's relationship annoys me sometimes. I guess I'll have to wait and see where things go with that. 

I'm glad Imogen was able to effect change at the school in terms of the dress code. The new girl she's interested in seems cool. I also love her friendship with Becky.

I feel like Maya inviting Zig to stay at her house is asking for trouble. It was lame that Miles tried to pull a Peter move on Zig, but at least he didn't actually frame him for having drugs. I'm kind of enjoying the sexual tension between Maya and Zig. I'm glad he is getting help in order to leave the gang and I was surprised Miles's dad is the one behind all that. I'm glad Zig is starting to get his life back to a good place. I am surprised Vince is back. I thought he was put away for the shooting at prom a while back. 

I am furious on Dallas and Connor's behalves for being racially profiled. The cops should have called Snake and asked if he gave his permission to borrow the car. WTF?!? I'm glad Mike is going to file a complaint. I hope something comes out of it. 

I think Dave is no longer on the series. That's too bad, as I liked him.

I hope the new teacher doesn't try to make a play for Tristan (and I don't mean write a play for him to star in). I guess my hopes were too high. I kind of feel bad for Tristan and also kind of don't. The whole situation was inappropriate and would end up blowing up in someone's face. This is no different from Paige with the student teacher. 

The graphics in Realm of Doom seem sub par for 2014. It was hard to take that game seriously. I'm glad the British guy isn't another situation like Connor had with the older woman or what happened with Darcy and the sexy photos. However, it's kind of sucky that things fizzled out between him and Becky just because she couldn't handle him being in grade nine.

Luke brought the whole house arrest and legal situation on himself. I am so mad at the mom for asking Becky to stick up for him. I'm glad Becky told the truth though, as hard as that was for her to do. 

It's lame that Drew got fired when Mrs. Hollingsworth was the one who acted inappropriately. I'm glad Drew was able to get something out of the situation instead of having to make it a news story.

I really like Imogen and Jack together. So cute! I'm also warming to the idea of Drew and Becky together. 

I love that Zoe was singing "Defying Gravity." She has a good voice. I also liked when she sang the Golden Girls theme with Maya. They have a good harmony.

Season fourteen:

Things are already starting off rocky with Clare's pregnancy. It's sad that it's going to break things apart for her and Eli. I don't blame him for being mad, but he needs to stick with that instead of going back and forth with Clare.

Maya still annoys me for some reason. Maybe it's her constant need to fix things. She needs to get therapy for Cam's suicide. I feel like she never did that.

Miles and Tristan are cute together. I still don't like Miles' dad and I hope his mom will find out about how he gets abusive. I hope Miles gets his act together soon. I was annoyed at him for driving high and then making Maya lie about it. I'm glad Tristan is mad at him.

I like that Becky has become more edgy and less of a little miss sunshine. I don't blame her for being mad at her brother. This new band guy (Jonah) seems intriguing. I like him and Becky together.

I'm sure the nude photo "fundraiser" will blow up in everyone's face soon. I feel bad for Frankie for being ostracized for not going along with it. I also feel bad for Zoe for being blackmailed. I wonder who is behind that. I feel bad for Frankie with how Zoe was treating her without gathering any evidence first. I'm glad Zoe deleted the photo, but it sounds like the situation did bite her in the butt after all.

I feel like Jenna and Connor are suddenly missing from the show. Jenna would be a good person for Clare to talk with about pregnancy and potentially keeping the baby. I'm glad to finally see them back on.

It was nice to see Spinner again, although it's so random that he's suddenly managing The Dot after being away for so long.

I'm glad Mike and Alli are still in a good place with their relationship. I was starting to get worried. 

I'm glad Imogen sorted things out with Jack, but now that we know she's still in the closet with her family, that's another hurdle for their relationship....and it looks like they didn't get past it.

There was a funny coincidence with a current event. On December 1st, Elliot Page came out as transgender. That same night, I was watching an episode where Zoe talks about being in a movie with Elliot's dead name. What are the odds?!?

If I didn't get teary-eyed from the plan to name the baby Adam, finding out that he is really Eli's totally sent me reeling. I hope he will listen to Clare soon. I feel bad for Drew though, but I'm annoyed that Mike told him instead of giving Clare a chance to. I was worried when Eli wouldn't hear what Clare has to say, but I'm glad he found out the truth and that things could become good between them again. I still love them together. 

I'm annoyed that Miles's mom didn't believe him about his dad being abusive. I'm glad Frankie and Hunter helped him stand up to their dad. I'm also glad that Frankie told her dad how much he hurt her. I hope he can do something to repair his relationships and not just throw money at everything. 

I am glad Zoe finally confessed about the Degrassi nudes. I don't feel bad for her for getting consequences, as she's been a mean girl from the very beginning. I hope this makes her a better person. Sounds like she and Miles could get back together.

Clare's dream about Snake was so funny. Also, the facial hair just isn't working for him. Too bad he's no longer principal though.

I'm worried about Zig's whole situation. It's scary that his friend got stabbed and I'm glad he's okay. Scary that Maya's house got robbed. I'm glad Maya and Zig are together now, although the last thing he said before the credits has me worried for them. I hope he doesn't get sucked back into the gang lifestyle. 

So sad about Clare losing the baby. I did not see that coming. I'm glad Eli is helping her through that, even though it affects him too. I can't decide if she's going too far in regards to the video cameras.

I'm so glad Maya and Tristan are friends again! I also hope that things with this new guy work out for Tristan. They seem like they'd be cute together. 

I'm glad Lola told Frankie about the kiss. I feel bad for Frankie, but I think she needed to hear the truth. Hopefully she and Winston can get to a good place again. They were so cute together in the musical and I'm glad they kissed and made up.

The sex stuff on the computer in class was hilarious. Poor Becky! I'm glad she's starting to ask questions though. Being sheltered about sex isn't doing anyone any favors. Too bad about Jonah stealing her money to pay back Vince. It's sad that Becky can no longer trust him.

Where did Clare's stepdad disappear to? Same with Maya's dad and Becky's dad.

I'm glad Zig got everything sorted out with all the gang violence and that he has someone looking out for him and Tiny. I'm also glad he and Damon made up.

I like how Drew helped save the prom and how everyone stood up for him at graduation. I can't stand the new principal. I want Snake to come back! It was nice to see him at graduation though.

I'm glad Clare and Eli sorted things out and that their relationship won't suffer during her gap year. They are meant to have a future together! 

Someone was peeling onions next to me during the tribute to Adam at graduation. 

It was strange to have the summer story at the end of season 14 instead of at the beginning of Next Class. The mystery was interesting though and I kind of guessed who was behind everything after a while. Also nice to see Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall. Zoe is becoming more likable, but her thing with Grace is totally the same as Paige and Alex. I'm annoyed that the situation caused the end of Frankie's relationship with Winston. Logan wasn't even that cute! Tristan was so funny with his commentary. 

Now that I'm set up for Next Class, it's time to get watching!

Degrassi TNG seasons 3 and 4

Courtesy of CinemaBlend

As I continue to watch Degrassi: The Next Generation, I'm going to share my thoughts after every couple of seasons. Currently, my top five favorite characters are:

1. Ellie: She has a lot going on in her life, but weathers it well. I like that she stands up for what she needs more often now.

2. Marco: He's been through a lot with coming out, but is even more amazing for it. He also puts up with a lot from his friends and stands up for himself more.

3. J.T.: I still like his playfulness and geekiness. I think he won me over when he stood up for Paige toward the end of season two and just kept going with that. 

4. Paige: She starts off as a mean girl in the first couple of seasons but has changed a lot since then. She still has mean tendencies, but I'm rooting for her more often than not. 

5. Jimmy: He actually took the time to be nice to Rick and ended up getting shot as a result. I also like how he was there for Marco in season three. 

Honorable mention goes to Joey: adults are fair game and he's so cute in his thirties. I'm annoyed that things are starting to go downhill for him and Caitlin. He's so good to Craig too, even when he shouldn't have to be. 

Thoughts on season three:

They finally covered teen pregnancy, but I'm not happy with where they took it. 

I'm glad they focused more on Marco coming out, but it was really intense at times. I also hated how Spinner treated him. However, I'm glad Spinner finally came around and was acting as his wingman later. It was sad that his parents were making themselves unapproachable in terms of coming out, especially after what his father said at the restaurant.

Paige has mellowed out a bit, but Spinner acts like a jerk most of the time. I appreciate that he's devoted to her, but still...

Toby has been really annoying, but it was nice what he did in the detention episode.

I'm glad Teri realized she was in an abusive relationship and got out of it. However, I am so annoyed that she got roped back in and feel so bad for her after what happened at the park. So scary! I hope Rick goes away for good.

I love that they have some focus on the adults from the original series. Nice to see Wheels. I wasn't sure when the actor had died, but found out it was years after he appeared on season three. I love Joey and Caitlin together and am so glad he broke up with Sydney to get back together with her. I hope Snake will be okay. His health situation definitely threw a wrench into the season. It was interesting to see Shane again. I wonder if the actor who plays him really has a brain injury because I think it would be weird to have someone acting that way if they really didn't. Especially in this day and age. I love how Emma was compassionate toward him and how she handled the situation between him and Spike. Also, it was a fun surprise to see Heather, Erica, and Liz. And yes, the Zit Remedy song still plays a lot. :) 

I don't like the new Manny. She got such an attitude after changing her look and then managed to break up a relationship and get herself into trouble. I have a hard time feeling sorry for her.

Sean has become a jerk because of hanging out with the troublemakers. However, it was nice what he did for Liberty. He's also mellowed out a bit since he first took up with them and I like that he and Ellie are dating now.

The detention episode was totally a rip-off of The Breakfast Club, complete with the five stereotypes of students. It was funny when Raditch was working out and the exercise ball kept getting away from him. The skip day was reminiscent of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

The longer hair is working for J.T.. I also like seeing how his personality has developed over time. I feel bad for how Manny treated him. I'm glad Manny is starting to come around to possibly liking him, even though it took something drastic to make it happen. I loved J.T.'s commercial. So funny! I wonder how he even got involved in that. 

Craig and Marco need haircuts. There wasn't Covid back in 2003. There's no excuse!

I'm glad Sean confessed about the laptop and found a way to make it up to Snake.

I'm sad that Caitlin and Joey have to spend so much time apart because of her job, but I hope the time will go fast.

I like that Emma has a better relationship with Snake now and even refers to him as her dad. 

Thoughts on season four:

I don't like the new voice for the theme song. It doesn't fit as well.

I was wondering when they'd revisit the rape case. I was horrified at the cross-examination, especially since it was done by a woman. I was impressed by how supportive Spinner was being. I hope Paige can get the help she needs to feel like herself again. It sucks that she had to relive everything and that she had to deal with that jerk again. 

I'm glad Craig and Spinner finally got haircuts. Marco is at least styling his hair now.

Why would Rick come back to Degrassi after what he did?!? He should go into hiding and change his name. Huge eye roll over that. I don't blame anyone for how they treated him. He almost killed Teri! And what is going on with her now? Last we saw her, she was awake and just getting a bandage changed. What Rick ended up doing was horrible and could have been prevented. I'm not sorry that he was a casualty of his own making.

I am annoyed by Manny being so churlish toward J.T.. Also, the device he was using was hilarious. 

I felt bad for Marco with still not being able to tell his dad that he's gay. I hope he eventually will be able to, but I know his dad makes it hard for him. I'm glad he could tell his mom and that she's supportive.

There's an interesting new development with Craig this season and I can't say I saw it coming, even with how his father acted toward him. It got really intense and I'm impressed that Ashley is sticking around. 

J.T. and Liberty, huh? I guess it was bound to happen. I like how they balance each other out. J.T. makes Liberty more fun and Liberty keeps J.T. grounded.

It's cute what Caitlin did with her hair. I like it that length and color. 

I'm glad Ellie stood up to her mother and I hope her mother will be able to stay sober after rehab. It's sad that Sean left though. I hope he'll be back.

It's nice to see Shenae Grimes on the series. I knew she was on it, but wasn't sure when she came in. I liked her on 90210. 

Surprising that Mr. Raditch is leaving mid-season. Interesting that Ms. Hatzilakis (sp?) is taking over for the time being. I like her a lot in general and think she's going to make a great principal.

The situation with Paige and the student teacher was headed for trouble and of course it went there. I don't even like them together all that much. 

Manny and Paige work well as frenemies and I never know whose side I want to take. 

I hope things go further with the blood donation company being homophobic.

I love that Kevin Smith is being featured. So much fun! There's even a meta quality to his appearance. Alanis Morissette's cameo was a nice surprise, as well. Also, I can't believe Caitlin kissed him. I know he's a celebrity and all, but she has Joey! 

I don't know that I feel sorry for Spinner at all. He dug his own grave and now he has regrets. I hope he can turn things around for himself and that this will teach him never to bully anyone again. 

Stay tuned for my thoughts on seasons five and six!

Two fabulous teen shows

Both pictures courtesy of IMDb.

Recently, I have really enjoyed two shows targeted to a teen/young adult audience. Since I am young at heart, these shows were totally up my alley. Here are some reasons you should watch these shows (spoiler free).

Never Have I Ever

I was sold on this show when I heard that Mindy Kaling was the creator and that it was loosely based on her life. I had heard good things about it and decided to check it out. I am SO glad I did and am even more glad that there will be a second season!

Check out the trailer:

Some reasons you should be watching:
*Two words: Equatorial Guinea. You'll see...
*The cultural stuff, like the party Devi and her family attended.
*Featuring a character with Down Syndrome in a positive way without it being focused on their disability.
*The fact that Ben got his own episode. It made me adore him so much more afterward.
*Kamala and her Riverdale binge-watching. I just love Kamala's personality in general. She's so much fun to watch.
*Devi is not perfect. She says things she regrets. She disappoints her mother and her friends. She lies a lot. The list could go on...
*Devi's two best friends are fabulous. I can't get enough of Fabiola's hair.
*The Rocky Horror Picture Show and 90 Day Fiancé get shout-outs.

Love, Victor

A couple of years ago, I read Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and loved that book so much. I saw Love, Simon a while after that, but it didn't have the same effect as the novel, even though it was still enjoyable. As a TV series, Love, Victor won me over the same way Simon's story did in novel format. Ten episodes of this series is not enough for me and I really hope there is a second season coming, given how it left off. I haven't loved a show on Hulu this much since Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Check out the trailer:


Some reasons you should be watching:
*Same producer and writer as This is Us (Isaac Aptaker), also featuring an actress from that show (Rachel Hilson, who plays young Beth on TIU also plays Mia on LV).
*Awesome theme song that I can't get out of my head!
*Michael Cimino is adorable as Victor
*Nick Robinson (Simon) has a cameo both in voice and in person
*So raw and honest, not just in regards to Victor, but also with the other characters on the show.
*Ana Ortiz from Ugly Betty (Betty's sister, Hilda) plays Victor's mom
*Felix and Lake come off as annoying at first, but then they both grow on you so much and they become as lovable as Victor.
*Victor's little brother is so sweet and funny.
*Ali Wong has a small part as a teacher and she's really funny.

What I love about both shows:
*They have other story lines aside from the main character's, which I love.
*They feature an LGBTQ theme, but on Never, it's for a supporting character.
*They have so many great moments that have made me laugh and cry.
*They have strong casts that work really well together.
*They have great kissing scenes (I won't say who is doing the kissing though...)

If you haven't seen either of these shows, get ready to binge-watch them both! If you have seen them, let me know your thoughts.

Still hurting...

(To the tune of "Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years)
The election is over, voting is done.
Our candidate should have totally won.
We're now being told that it's time to move on.
But we're still hurting.

I've been mulling over my post-election feelings and trying to put things in perspective. There is still a lot to process. Instead of attacking his supporters, I asked them why they made the choice they did, and also asked them to not attack her in their responses. Some people can't seem to figure out why they voted for him other than to keep her from winning. Where have I heard that before?

Aaron Burr:
"How does Hamilton
An arrogant
Immigrant, orphan
Bastard, whore-son
Somehow endorse Thomas Jefferson, his enemy
A man he’s despised since the beginning
Just to keep me from winning?"
"Your Obedient Servant," Hamilton

Some people did not like either candidate, but still seemed to think that he was the "lesser of two evils." Somehow inciting hatred and planning to take away civil rights is less evil than sending non-threatening e-mails from a private server. *Rolling eyes*

In any case, I do respect those who voted for him because of some valid reasons they offered that have nothing to do with his behavior and words over the past year or to go against her for spite. They voted for him because they believe he can HELP them. I still have a hard time digesting all this, but I respect their reasons and don't count them amongst the people who voted for all the wrong reasons.

To his supporters: "If you'd like to help mend the divide, here are some things you can do to help: Be a vocal ally to your LGBT+ neighbors and friends. Reach out to your Hispanic neighbor, your Black neighbor, your Muslim neighbor and let them know they have nothing to fear from you - that you understand that they are equal to you in worth no matter what our President-Elect has said and what hurtful things people are doing right now in cities and towns across America in reaction to this election. If you aren't willing to do this, then you validate our fears." (This was taken from a friend's Facebook timeline and it is too perfect not to share.)

"The sun comes up and the world still spins."
-"What'd I Miss?," Hamilton

This line has been going through my head a lot. Time hasn't stopped since the election closed. We still have to go to bed every night and wake up every day. We have to soon face a new America with a different kind of President. Do you know how badly I want to act like a three year-old whose mommy is dropping them off at preschool and just cling to the almost-former President's leg and cry?

Are we ready to face what is ahead of us? Given how much hatred and violence has already occurred in the past couple of days, I doubt it. Either that, or we have a long way to go. I also am thinking of Dory's famous quote, "just keep swimming," in times like this. It's not going to make things easier just yet, and we probably have some heavier tides to swim through, but we have to stay strong and stand up for what we believe in, now more than ever!

However, that is not so easy to do with with half the country declaring "not our president," which will probably lead to "onarchy...how you say...anarchy?" I can relate to the level of fear and distress, but don't feel ranting is going to change the situation. I know a lot of us are traumatized by this election and outcome. I have definitely been feeling emotionally out-of-sorts. Trying to go on with my daily life, make sure the kids feel safe, not get too riled up by super upsetting posts on Facebook and Twitter, etc. (My best friend warned me not to look at the tweets that went up and I haven't even checked them out of morbid curiosity.) I know this feels like a death and we have to go through the stages of grief. However, we have to pick up the pieces and make things good again. Getting into fights with people on social media isn't the solution. And that goes for everyone who gloats about their candidate winning and still says mean things about the candidate who lost (or her supporters).

All I know is that unless he does something as bad as (or worse than) Watergate and gets himself impeached, or the Electoral College is overthrown and she is sworn in instead (a girl can dream!), we're stuck. I do feel like gagging when I have to say the word President before his name. It seems like such a joke! I don't trust him and don't respect him right now. I know we're told we need to respect our President, but he needs to undo a lot of the damage he's created before I can even try to trust, respect, or even forgive him. There are times when I think we can survive this and then I see something that completely raises my hackles and makes me anxious all over again.

I think of a lot of situations in music and recently had a Mary Poppins classic in my head, which I feel is so fitting for this new reality. "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." Right now, we're forced to take this 70 year-old orange medicine, which is bound to taste "nasty" and not do what it's intended to right away. However, if we are kind to others and exemplify goodness along the way, we can take down this "medicine" so that we can still come out healthy and strong when the next election rolls around.

When I went to my older son's parent-teacher conference today, his teacher told me how he is friendly to and supportive of every kid in his class, whether he likes them or not. He takes the time to listen to their ideas and encourages them to speak up, be creative, etc. I was thinking that he'd make a great President someday. (Although I don't know that I'd want him to go through so much stress and scrutiny!) Speaking of which, I did tell the kids about the outcome of the election and they were upset about it. I then explained that they should continue to treat people with kindness, no matter what examples are out there to do otherwise. I'm glad my older son can be a good role model, no matter what.

So...
Am I pretending this is not happening? No. Head and feet are well above the sand.
Did I vote for him? NO! #ImWithHer
Am I going to cause a riot over what happened? No.
Am I going to attack my friends and colleagues who voted differently? No, but I would appreciate them having the same respect for me.
Am I going to share articles and other thoughts I agree with, as well as petitions, ways to help our country, etc. on social media? You bet I am!
Do I support my friends and loved ones who are hurting the most and will be affected by this Presidency? Definitely. Without a doubt!
Am I amongst the vulnerable population? If being Jewish and female counts, then yes.
Am I leaving the country? While we have family and friends in Canada, the prospect of changing our lives so drastically is unrealistic. If we needed to escape in a rush, G-d forbid, we do have passports. In any case, many people have suggested that leaving the country would be a bad idea and would not be showing support for the people who need it most. And although I don't like that the President will live only 40 minutes away, I do like my home, friends, job, etc.

Another important thing to realize is that she won the popular vote (even if by a narrow margin). It gives me hope that we can have another woman candidate run for President in the future. Someone suggested the almost-former First Lady. That would be amazing! (Maybe down the road, we'll have TWO women candidates up for the role.)

I feel like a lot of what I'm thinking has been said already (sometimes even with more vitriol and anguish). This country is definitely hurting right now. Split down the middle. We're going to need some major Tikkun Olam to get back into the shape we were in prior to this election. I'm not denying that we haven't always had problems of some degree or another, but this election was the most stressful and most devastating to our country.

I'm ultimately hoping that this is similar to the story my brother-in-law tells at Hanukkah about the man who is walking with a strange limp and another man who comes up to him and breaks his leg to save it from needing amputation, citing that he is a surgeon and will fix it for free. Only by breaking the leg will he be able to make the necessary repair, as the limp was indicative of a rare disease. The story was compared to how Hashem put us at war (during the time when Hanukkah came about) when he saw we were trying to assimilate. Only by breaking us could he make us stronger in our Judaism. I feel like the same is happening for our country. There is a higher power seeing that people are still not treating each other well. Maybe they're weeding out the "bad guys" for another Noah's Ark. I'm just hoping that good will "rise up" against evil in as many ways as possible so that the country can be fixed again.

No broken bones here

I recently posted a blog called Sticks and Stones. It was about my experiences growing up as a bullying victim and hopes for future generations that they shouldn’t have to suffer the same fate as Phoebe Prince. Ironically enough, this new title is true in another way because I have never once broken a bone (no kaynehores though).

I realized that after posting the last blog, I had left some things unsaid. Most just popped into my head recently and I wanted to share those thoughts. Some might even be helpful or inspiring…

*There were two times in junior high that I managed to injure my eye (or the area around it). I should have just stayed home from school until it healed each time. It was so not worth going in and having to endure the jokes made at my expense over such self-inflicted accidents. Someone once said that a person on their bus said they beat me up. (Because they were on a different bus and somehow knew about it before they even saw it. Right.) And don’t even get me started on the rumors that came out of the first injury. They weren’t pretty.) It’s ironic that I had to wear an eye patch for two days last fall and was totally fine going out in public. People were nice about it and I didn’t get teased at all. It made me realize that I’m in a great environment now.

*When I was a freshman in high school, I finally got one of my tormenters to give up on bothering me. This girl was awful to me on the bus and I got sick of dealing with her after a while. This particular time, she was trying to get me to say something in hopes that she’d be able to tease me for it. I knew what she was getting at and did not give her such satisfaction at my expense. I just decided to confuse the “game” even more. (Basically, she told me I had a “Dickfor” on my shoulder. I was supposed to ask what such a thing was, but I knew better!) She finally gave up and even asked me if I knew what she was getting at. That was the last time she ever picked on me!

*When I was in college, a girl actually apologized to me for anything she did to hurt me when we were growing up. This was during a summer break and I was waiting on her at IHOP. She wasn’t even as bad as some other people, but she would make me cry a lot when we were kids. At the time, she claimed she was doing it to teach me how to stick up for myself. In any case, I thought it was decent that she apologized and I accepted that apology from her.

*Speaking of IHOP, that place is a bully’s dream come true! I have not stepped into an IHOP since August of 1996, as a result. While I was working there, I was targeted for sexual harassment because I was young and female. It got really nasty after a while and I could have easily reported it. However, they were so cheap that we had to pay for all our meals on the job, so I doubt I would have received any compensation even worthy of what I went through. Normally, I don’t name places, but my experiences working at IHOP were so terrible that I want to prevent other girls from going through the same thing. I mainly worked with a bunch of obnoxious teenage boys, as well as cooks who thought that because I knew limited Spanish, they could hit on me. The funny thing is, I knew how to stand up for myself and I wasn’t running away in tears. I dished back anything I was given. (I didn’t sexually harass anyone, but I wasn’t nice with my comebacks either.) There was even a cranky old lady who would come in every day and take up some tables in the back. She got in on the bullying end of things, but I was just as mean to her after a while. (Once she was doing someone’s side work and wouldn’t share utensils with me. When someone else asked me to share utensils with them, I made an example out of her so that she’d look like an idiot for not sharing.) In any case, the managers weren’t even helpful. I’d tell them what was going on, and then they’d start making disgusting comments about women right in front of me. If I didn’t have some regular customers who thought I was cool, I would have left a lot sooner than I did. There were also customers who were bullies. (This happens all over the place, as it happened at a previous restaurant job too.) The saying “the customer is always right” gets taken for granted and sometimes customers can be downright rude when they are clearly in the wrong. I am nice to servers at restaurants even when they’re not doing the greatest job. There are some levels I will just never lower myself to reach.

*I mentioned some “saving graces” in my post. I wanted to address some and also bring up one I left out:
I started reading V.C. Andrews’ books toward the end of 7th grade because all the cool kids were doing it. However, I didn’t expect to love them as much as I did. I ended up reading a couple of series over summer break and even got my friend from Hebrew school into them. We’d spend our time together reading her books. While I originally got some form of approval from the cool kids, that eventually died off, but I still was addicted to her books. I even started a fan club in college and am still friends with some of the people I met through that avenue (as well as some friends of people with whom I lost contact).
There was also forensics (speech team) in high school. I gained my confidence that way and felt more comfortable speaking in public and performing on stage. I loved going to tournaments every week. The best part was meeting a lot of guys and being able to flirt with them without anyone knowing my social status in school. I actually felt attractive during those times. (I also felt that way initially in CFTY, but that died out after a while.)
I forgot to mention Rocky Horror as a saving grace. This was more toward the end of high school, but it was the first time I felt truly accepted by a group of people. No one cared about who I was in school and there were cute guys who made me feel attractive. After a while, the cast I was with felt like family to me. I’m still in contact with some people from Rocky Horror and enjoy talking to them.

Finally, I have been inspired by my sister to start a new blog about bullying. I also got this idea from “That’s My Boss.” I would take e-mails from people who wanted to talk about their past or present experiences with bullying and post them anonymously to this blog. I have a few ideas for how to handle the information coming in. Comments would be moderated as to avoid further harassment (from people who have nothing better to do). I feel that if by starting such a blog, if it prevents even one person from committing suicide, it will have been a success. I also have hopes that if it gains enough momentum, I could share it with some higher powers that could lead to mandating schools to provide bully prevention seminars before anyone can work in the building. Or at least that it would back up Phoebe’s Law and help push it forward, as I completely support it.

Sticks and Stones

I recently found out about the tragic story of Phoebe Prince, a young girl who was bullied by her peers to the point where she felt she had to take her own life. I found this whole situation to be extremely sad and disturbing. From what I read, Phoebe was a naturally friendly girl and some people got jealous of her ability to grab a guy’s attention naturally and started calling her names and threatening her. I think statutory rape was involved in some way. It got so bad one day that she went home and hung herself. Apparently faculty and staff at the school knew what was going on and did nothing to stop it from happening. The least they could do was offer counseling to Phoebe to help her cope with her peers’ behavior and taunts. This situation has brought up how the issue of bullying has escalated from playful schoolyard taunts to physical abuse (such as hazing) and slander on the internet. The issue of bullying hits close to home for me as a parent and as someone who was picked on by their peers in the past.

About 6 years ago, I read a book that I was able to relate to in many ways. It was a true story by Jodee Blanco titled “Please Stop Laughing at Me...” It was her personal account of bullying from her peers. No matter where she went to school, she usually would start out popular and would make friends easily. Then she’d go against the grain of peer pressure and everyone would turn against her. She changed schools several times and it always led to the same outcome. I don’t think she ever tried to kill herself, but I know she displayed self-destructive behavior as a result. Miraculously, she came out on top as a confident adult who was able to tell her story in a way that it was nearly impossible to put down.

As I mentioned earlier, both Phoebe Prince's tragic death and Jodee Blanco's book struck chords with me...chords that would not have been struck had I not been a victim of bullying. I usually don't talk much about this because I supposedly lead such a "charmed life" nowadays, but I think it needs to be told in hopes that other people will be inspired to share their own stories and experiences. Maybe the more stories that are shared will inspire schools to mandate school faculty and staff to attend bullying prevention seminars before being allowed to set foot in a school building.

Mind you, the stuff I've heard and read about makes anything I went through pale in comparison, but it's still personal to me. I somehow managed to survive my school years and move on to college and adult life with the intention to start fresh. I think the main thing that kept me going after a while was self-confidence. It's something I've carried over into my adult life. And that didn't come into play until high school.

I started out with a lot of friends in preschool and kindergarten. Then the social circles started forming in first grade. Yes...first grade! People already knew if they fit into the popular or unpopular (i.e. geek) groups. Guess which group yours truly ended up in? :P I had friends, but some of them had split loyalties. Grade school was tolerable until the later years. The friends I had helped me weather any storms and I had my best friend at home too (my sister). I also had some other close friends outside of school. Of course, there were the mean girls who thought it was funny to ask me questions that tested my naivete about sexuality. Basically, you were damned if you said you were a virgin and also damned if you said you weren't. (Madonna's song didn't help much.) There were also boys who were just plain mean. One used to make me miserable at the bus stop every morning. (I got back at him in a subtle way during my college years...by acting like I didn't know him and then hearing from my boyfriend at the time that this guy was sending obvious signals of interest...and then making it very obvious that I was with someone.) The friends I made toward the end of my elementary school days didn't help matters much. However, I did have some friends who were destined for popularity at some point. The other factor that didn't help much was how I was super emotional about getting teased. I wore my vulnerability where everyone could see it and attack it.

When I got to junior high, I thought meeting people who didn't know my status in grade school would help, but it really didn't. The circles that were formed in grade school stuck and created monsters that sucked up the friends I had from before. (Basically, people whom I thought were my best friends decided that popularity took priority over their friendship with me.) I did make some new friends, but that proved detrimental to my social standing for the rest of junior high. There was one girl I became close with early in 6th grade and then she even turned on me because I wasn't geeky enough! She even got mad at me for a social mishap that was out of my control, but she saw no problem in making things even worse for herself and everyone in our little circle. (Basically, she got mad at me because everyone wanted me to dance--which I didn't even do at that time--in an effort to make fun of me more, but then she went and auditioned to be a cheerleader when she knew she was moving out of state soon. Then that started rumors that people thought her mom was suing the school. I was actually smug about it when people were surrounding and taunting her.) Other than that, people I thought were my friends in the beginning of the year turned on me in the typical mean girl style. I took modeling classes from Sears during that year and while I thought it would be seen as cool, I got picked on because it was for Sears. Nothing was good enough. I could buy all brand name clothes and start wearing bras and none of it would matter. My social status was set.

During the summer between 6th and 7th grade, I went to overnight camp with my BFF. That was a mistake (not about going with my BFF, just about going at all). The girls were all stuck up and made my four weeks there hellish. If I thought that being teased about not knowing about virginity was bad, having my naivete about all things sexual being ripped into made that look like a walk in the park. They were just awful and they would accuse me of destroying their property but then would see no problem in taking my towel while I was showering (and then getting mad when I got them in trouble). If my BFF had not been there, I would have gone home without even completing the four weeks. Years later, I read "The J.A.P. Chronicles" by Isabel Rose. While my camp experience wasn't as bad as the main character's, it was fun to imagine karma for all the girls in my cabin (with the exception of my BFF, of course). Two funny things that came out of this a long time later: I ended up dating the best friend of one of the girls' brother. I wonder if she ever knew about that. Also, one of the girls (who especially made fun of my naivete about sex) was at a close friend's bachelorette party and I got a high out of winning a contest where we had to answer a lot of questions about sex (factual, not personal). I don't think she remembered making fun of me back in the day, but I still enjoyed feeling smug about that.

Seventh grade was even worse. Someone told a girl I was trying to befriend that I would "ruin her rep." (This same girl who said that later was nice to me in high school.) The girls were just meaner in general. They would follow me around school and taunt me for no particular reason. Eventually, one of the gym teachers brought it to a halt. Until that time, I would hide out during "recess" and read a book behind some trees. I tried to avoid people whenever possible and hated going to school in general. Talking about it with my parents didn't help. They felt bad that it was going on, but I somehow felt I was failing them. In the meantime, I had Hebrew school and another set of obnoxious boys and girls to deal with there. I did have some saving graces though: Pen pals, a new friend from Hebrew school and V.C. Andrews books.

Eighth grade was a little more tolerable. I made a couple of nice friends (one whom I reunited and became closer with years later) but also had to deal with more mean girl behavior. I was hanging out with one group for a while when this girl decided she didn't want me to be a part of the group and wrote me a nasty letter too. I still resent her for it to this day. My saving graces this time included: knowing high school was around the corner, writing for the school paper, chorus, a nice school counselor, and gaining respect for my brains and because I tried out for the volleyball team. There was also the nice gym teacher who let me take a dance/exercise class instead of gym that year. I hated gym class, so it definitely saved my sanity. Overall, the movie "Welcome to the Dollhouse" made my junior high years feel a lot less hellish in comparison, even though I didn't get to see Eric Mabius sprawled out on a bed in my house.

High school wasn't too bad. I still dealt with my share of bullying from time to time, but I also had a lot of things that kept me going. It was easier to make friends because there was a wider pool to meet. Sure, the social circles still existed, but they were more scattered. I had speech team, which is where I gained my confidence. I also was also involved with chorus, theater, dance, etc. I did have moments every year where it was rough to go to school, but I got through it. Toward the end of my senior year, I had to deal with bullies amongst my own circle of friends. One was even disguised as a friend, but I realized later on that she really wasn't what one would call a friend. The other was this obnoxious guy who was so awful to me that I like to think his girlfriend refused to go to prom with him as a result of how he was treating me. (Why wouldn't you go to prom if you had an automatic date? I didn't have such luck.) I think I also became mean in the process of dealing with bullies through most of my life. I think it was a defense mechanism in a way. I still have times where the mean side of me comes out, but I think it has softened up over time. It's more of a protection mechanism these days. I also feel that Schadenfraude is a protective mechanism. I'd love to find out that someone who was mean to me is not doing so well in life.

Things did get better in college and even beyond. There were times I had to deal with rudeness in the working world, but no one was outright harassing me. Sometimes I wondered about peoples' intentions when they wanted to be friends (or more). I didn't join the Hillel in college because it reminded me of BBG and I didn't like most of the girls in that group. (Some of them even went to the same college as me.) There was a time that a girl I didn't like went to college with me and would prank call me with her friends. My friends and I curbed that behavior with an obnoxious outgoing message on my answering machine. I would see the same girl around my hometown and she'd act like my friend but it was so fake that it was disgusting. Last year, she tried to friend request me on Facebook and I ignored her. I don't plan to be another number for her and I don't need her knowing about my personal life. I just don't get how girls like her are married and the nice, normal girls I know are still trying to find Mr. Right. (There are other cases like this, where girls who were totally awful to me throughout junior high and high school managed to secure a spouse. I even saw one of them at two weddings a few years ago and was actually enjoying showing off my marital status at one of them...as my husband wasn't able to attend the other.) There was also a time when friends of a past boyfriend were telling him mean things about me. I even tried to reconcile with one of them but she wrote a nasty note in response.

Now that you know about my past issues with bullying (and I skimmed over a lot), I wanted to share my concerns for the future. Now that I'm a mom, I worry about bullying when my kids go to school. I worry about my kids being either the perpetrators or the victims. When I read "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult a few years ago, I thought about this a lot. It was about a boy who was picked on so badly that he opened fire at his school and either injured or killed his classmates. I think he even killed a teacher. It was very disturbing because I knew it happened in the past and could happen again. I'm teaching my kids about how to be confident and stick up for themselves, but to not hurt other kids at the same time. I hold them accountable for their behavior. (Recently, my older son threw a toy at a little boy and my husband and I made him write an apology letter.) I worry more that my older son will be a victim because he's overly sensitive and he has something obviously different about his physical presence. Right now, he's in a school for kids with hearing loss and he's proud of his cochlear implant. However, I worry about how kids who never dealt with hearing loss will perceive it if he is mainstreamed. I was proud of how confidently he talked about his CI when another kid asked him what it was. He acted like it was no big deal. I just hope that confidence will stick with him over time. He's very friendly and likes to be the class clown. He loves laughing and making other kids laugh. He has a plethora of girlfriends already. I hope this all follows him throughout his grade school, junior high and high school days. He's more tuned in to kids who are different like him, and I think that will make him more compassionate overall. However, if anyone ever bullies or hurts him, they will have me to answer to and the school will have another thing coming if they don't do anything to prevent it from happening. As for my younger son, I worry that he'll be the bully. He's aggressive and likes to hit and push to make his point. We give him time outs, but we're not sure when that will sink in. He's a sweet kid otherwise and has made friends at his school already. He's very active and I could see him being the athletic one in the family. That might help him when it comes to the social circles that are probably being formed as we speak.

As for the adult world, bullying still exists. It was seen in the first season of "Ugly Betty" when Betty was being picked on mercilessly at her new job. People lightened up when they got to know her, but there were still times when she was thrown under the gauntlet. I know this is just a TV show, but workplace bullying does exist. There are managers who don't know how to treat their employees. I know people who will attest to this. And if you still don't believe me, check out "That's My Boss," a blog about bosses who don't know how to treat their employees properly. There are other ways bullying can occur in the adult world. Domestic abuse is another example of such behavior. And I'm sure that the girls in "Muriel's Wedding" aren't the only adult version of mean girls.

Overall, bullying is not something that will go away. If kids see a reason to be mean to other kids, they will stop at nothing to make someone's life hellish. I really hope schools get on the ball and work to educate and prevent bullying. I'm sure that it will be hard for them to get through those tough heads, but something does need to be done. Maybe a zero tolerance policy against bullying that would lead to severe consequences for all bullies? I don't know what it will take in order to prevent another incident like Phoebe Prince's tragic and completely unnecessary death. Keep in mind that she was harassed for being pretty and friendly. Imagine how much harder it must be for kids who are deemed by their peers as unattractive or socially inept. I like to think I came out of such a scathing experience okay and no worse for the wear, but I still have my mean (and sometimes vengeful) side. I don't forgive or forget as easily as one might think. In the meantime, I have a fabulous group of friends from all the different places I've lived and through the Internet.

Please share this post with anyone you know in an effort to explain how bullying feels for the victims. Especially before this issue escalates completely out of control in the future. If kids are cruel to each other now, I can't even imagine how much worse it could become.