Friday, June 27, 2014

My Attempt at Fan Fiction

A while back, I read an awesome book called Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell (reviewed here). It's about a girl who writes fan fiction for a book series that is similar to "Harry Potter." It made me think about my favorite book series from when I was a kid and how it would be fun to write fan fiction for it. As you may remember, I was a huge fan of "The Babysitters Club" back in the day. I decided to write about the characters as adults in the 21st century. I just put a chapter up here and who knows where I'll go with it, but I had fun getting back into the heads of characters I felt so close with at one point.

~Kristy~

I finally have a few minutes free from calls and meetings to take a lunch break. Business at Nanny Corp is still moving along at an amazing pace, which is nothing to complain about, but it means I rarely get more than a few minutes to myself. Of course, the moment I sit back waiting to devour my leftover chicken lo mein in peace, my cell phone starts buzzing. Stacey’s picture pops up on the screen.
“Yo, McGill, what’s up?”
“Kristy! You actually answered your phone. When was the last time we talked? Three months ago?”
“Ha ha ha. So FUNny!”
“Okay, so are you free at eight tonight? I’m trying to get the local girls together for dinner and drinks. I have something to celebrate!”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see. I want to share the news with everyone at once. Can you meet me at 21 West?”
“Let me check my calendar.” I quickly glance at my Outlook calendar, but of course I don’t have anything booked for the first time in weeks. “Yeah. I should be able to get there. Is Mary Anne coming?”
“I think she’s having Jodie babysit again. She’s almost 14, if you can believe that!”
“We’ve known her since I started a sub-agency of the club to find people to babysit for her after she was born.”
“Right. And get this. Dawn is in town for a photo shoot. It will be so great to have her there too!”
“So we’re only missing Claudia then, huh?” Claudia has been working in Paris as an artist and rarely ever gets back to the states these days. “I’m sure Mallory will be available if you can tear her away from Biggest Loser or whatever reality show she’s watching tonight.”
“I’ll give her a ring.” Stacey giggles nervously then. “Okay, I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.”
“Sounds good. See ya later.”
After hanging up, I silence my phone and tell Amanda, my assistant, to take messages until I say otherwise. Yes, I have an assistant. I still have to pinch myself every day to believe this much about my career. Nanny Corp stemmed from the BSC after college and has taken off since then.  It’s going so well here that I could probably retire and it would run on its own without flaws. Then again, I thrive on being busy. It beats going home to an empty apartment and allows me to not focus on the fact that I haven’t dated since the worst breakup ever.

After lunch, the rest of the day moves at a quick pace again and before I know it, it’s a quarter after seven. I wrap things up and then walk 15 blocks to 21 West. The early October brisk air is invigorating after being stuck behind a desk all day. I also figure that if I get there early, I can catch up with Mary Anne before everyone else shows up. And as I see her getting out of the subway station, I thank myself for leaving the office when I did. She spots me and runs over, wrapping me in her embrace.
“So great to see you, Kristy! It’s been a horrible week. This is the first time I’ve been out of the house when it’s not for groceries or doctor appointments. Tanya is a spit-up machine. And Logan rarely ever gets home before ten, if he comes home at all.”
“We are definitely getting you a drink then. At least you have an instant babysitter these days. I don’t know how you’d manage five kids on your own otherwise.”
“Yeah. Jodie loves being the responsible big sister now. And now that she’ll get allowance for it, she is even more eager for me to leave the house. I’m hoping this will become a trend.”
“She could start her own BSC,” I say wistfully.  
As we approach the restaurant, Mary Anne blurts out “I think Logan’s cheating on me.”
“Mary Anne, sweetie. Logan would never cheat on you. He’s crazy about you.”
“When was the last time you saw us together? I mean, seriously? He is rarely home, and when he is, he doesn’t even look at me. I think he even screens my calls too.”
“Maybe it’s something else. Maybe something’s going on at work? Isn’t he an investment banker? I heard there have been a lot of layoffs in the field.”
“I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”
“Okay, we’re definitely getting you a drink and then we’ll get to the bottom of this.”

“Hey guys!” Mallory greets us at the door. Apparently, Stacey’s news trumped reality TV this time. “Stacey got us a table upstairs.  She sent me down here to look for you. Dawn is already here too.”
Mary Anne lets out a little squeal. “Dawn’s here?!? Awesome!” She races up the stairs.
Mallory and I walk up slowly so I can fill her in on what Mary Anne told me.  I’m not a gossip, but we all still look out for each other and I’m secretly hoping Mallory can do a little spy work. Maybe it will keep her from being glued to the TV all the time.
When we get to our table, Stacey and Dawn hug me before we all sit down.
“Dawn, when were you going to tell us you were in town? This is such a great surprise!”
“I only found out yesterday and was busy preparing for cross-country travel. I love living in L.A. again, but I miss it here sometimes. I’m back for a few days, but then have to head to Vermont after this for another shoot. Evan usually does the east coast, but he broke his leg last week.”
Dawn is a photographer for a travel magazine, but she normally focuses on the west coast. Even though I feel bad for Evan, I’m secretly glad she has an excuse to come out by us. I don’t know when I’m ever going to get to L.A.
“So, Kristy, how is the business going?” Dawn turns everyone’s attention to me.
“It’s going really well. I could probably hire someone else on now just so I could get a little break. Anyone interested?” I ask cheekily, winking at Mary Anne.
“Oh, I would if I could work from home,” Mary Anne chimes in.
“Can’t you get a daytime sitter, even to work part-time? You’d be so great at this and we could be partners again.”
“I wish it were that easy. If Logan’s job is in trouble, like you think, then it might not be a possibility.”
“Maybe he could be Mr. Mom for a while, like that Lonestar song?”
“He’s still a dad, even if he doesn’t work.”
“Sorry. Anyway, what’s up with you, McGill? What are we all celebrating? Did you finally get a starring role on Broadway?”
Stacey went to a fine arts school after graduating from Stoneybrook High and gets bit parts in off-Broadway shows, but nothing to make a living from. She’s a server at Hal’s Diner on West 84th when she’s not performing.
“Um, no. This is better. I met ‘The One.’ Mary Anne, do you remember Toby from when we went to that Sea City trip with the Pikes? Alex’s friend? Well, we never stayed in touch after that trip, like, 30 years ago. However, he came into Hal’s when I was working one of my shifts. It took a while for us to figure out how we knew each other, but when it clicked, it was just one of those perfect moments. We’ve been going out every spare moment I have available.”
“And you tease me for not being around?”
“Oh whatever. I would have told you about him weeks ago if you actually answered your cell. Anyway, we went to the Poconos this past weekend and he said he didn’t want to waste any more time not being together and got down on his knee right in front of everyone at dinner.” Stacey puts her left hand on the table, showing a huge, sparkling diamond.
“STACEY! That’s amazing! Congrats!” The girls got up and hugged Stacey while they all jumped around and screamed. It’s good there weren’t many other people dining up here. When they finally sat back down, I reached out for a fist bump.
“Great news, Stacey.”
“Is something wrong, Kristy?”
“No. How long have you been dating anyway?”
“A few weeks? I lost track of time. We practically live together now.”
“Why rush into a marriage then?”
“What is your problem, Kristy? Let’s get this out now, while we’re all here. Am I not allowed to be happy with someone?”
“Never said that.”
“Then what? Are you jealous because you haven’t been in a relationship in almost eight years?”
“Ha! Like I even have time for a relationship. If I wanted to be in one, I totally could.”
“Just because Patrick broke up with you by kissing another girl on the ‘Kiss Cam’ at the Yankees’ game while you were there with us, just a few rows in front of him….”
“They caught my mortification on the video too, you know.”
“Still, it was EIGHT YEARS AGO! You two only dated for half a year anyway.”
“Let’s forget it. I’m happy for you Stacey. Really, I am. I just don’t want you to rush into something and potentially get hurt.”
“I know what I’m doing. Thanks though. Chardonnay, anyone?”
“Does Claudia know?”
“I haven’t told her yet, but I’m going to call her tomorrow. At least she’ll be excited for me.”
“Whatever. I’m tired and need to get some more research done before tomorrow’s meeting.” I toss a few 50 dollar bills on the table. Dinner’s on me in honor of your special news.”
“Gee, thanks. Call me when you’re not too busy.”
“Will do.” I hug the other girls. “Mal, can you make sure Mary Anne gets to the subway safely?”
“Sure thing!”
“Dawn, let’s do lunch before you leave. We need to catch up more!”
“I have a really tight shooting schedule, but I’ll call if my schedule opens up.” Dawn doesn’t look too happy about the tension between Stacey and me.

I head out of the restaurant, and it feels like the temperature dropped 30 degrees. I wrap my jacket tighter across my chest and walk the five blocks to my apartment, wondering why I’m really so bothered by Stacey’s good news. 

Just for fun, I decided to cast everyone as adults:
Kristy: Rashida Jones
Stacey: Rachel McAdams
Mary Anne: Elizabeth Reaser
Dawn: Piper Perabo
Mallory: Natasha Lyonne

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Something old, something new....

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week I chose the topic: Make new friends, but keep the old....Tell us about your most recent friendship (online or in person) AND your longest friendship.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I first need to point out that when I thought of this topic a few weeks ago, my newest friendship (online, of course) was with a girl with whom I connected on Twitter, shortly before attending Book Expo America. She was mentioning that she liked some of the same books as me, so I decided to connect with her via e-mail. We've been having fun chatting about books, children, and other things.

However, when it was time to share this topic with my group, another friend ended up in the "newest friend" spot. Her name is Jennifer and we connected because some other friends of mine were sharing her book giveaways on Facebook. I had to see who was behind such great chick lit giveaways and when I went to her page, I saw that she lives in the DC area. A woman after my own heart who doesn't live all that far from me. I sent her a message right away and got such a friendly response. I've been sharing her giveaways with people who visit my book blog page and she sent us so many fans that we finally reached 2000 "likes!" I also found out that we're pretty close in age (even though I thought she was in her late 20s when we first connected). And to top it off, she's also an Orange is the New Black fan! Her enthusiasm for chick lit matches and possibly surpasses mine. Also, within a week of connecting with her, she sent me a gift. It's a beautiful silver jewelry box with my first initial on it!


She's just really kind and generous and everyone who knows her personally seems to love her. I hope we can meet up in person soon, as I think we'll have more time to actually talk vs. shooting quick e-mails back and forth throughout the day (mostly consisting of smiley faces and thumbs up symbols). Her presence in my life has definitely had a positive impact though. I find myself in a better mood as a result of e-mailing with her. She even sent me the sweetest message right before I started my weekend, this past Friday. 

If you'd like to meet Jennifer, or even just participate in her cool book and swag giveaways, send her a friend request! You can also follow her on Twitter

Now onto my longest friendship. While I would love to say that it's with my BFF, we both know this is not the case. I met my first friend, Robin, shortly after I was born, as our parents met in Lamaze class. Since then, our families would get together all the time and go on vacations to Florida every winter. We even have sisters who are close in age. (Our maternal grandmothers were also friends.) We grew up liking all the same TV shows and books and finding all sorts of random things to be really humorous. When we were in college, our lives seemed to be going in different directions. However, we started to connect more before junior year. I'm thankful for that because she got into a terrible car accident right after school started back up. Someone rescued her, but she had a long road ahead. I think it affected what she wanted to do in the future. She studied and took classes online while she was recovering and still went on to graduate before me and get a job in the field in which she wanted to start her career. I know she still loves what she does. As adults, we got married about six months apart and then had both of our sons around the same time. While we didn't stand up in each other's weddings, it was still emotional to see her walk down the aisle. Our moms helped each other with our bridal showers too. And I still remember when we first were telling each other we were pregnant and said it at the same time! (Our parents were out together at a different place and were waiting for us to share the news with each other. They already knew that we'd both be finding out that day.)

Although I don't see her often, since we live so far apart, it's still a treat when we do get together. We saw each other the last time I was in town and had a nice time catching up. Our kids played so well together too! It was like no time had been lost. I'm also friends with her sister, and she's friends with my sister. I need to stay in touch with her better, but I know that even when I'm bad at doing so, our friendship is still intact. 

Sometime within our first year.

On one of our Florida trips

At Robin's Sweet 16


With our younger sons in 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Celebrating "The Lion King"

Twenty years ago today, The Lion King was released into the "wild." I went out and saw it during opening weekend with two friends from "Rocky Horror." I immediately fell in love with it and went on to see it many more times during that summer and throughout my first year of college. I lost track of how many times I saw it in the theater. (And it wasn't even as much as some of my "Rocky Horror" friends who went practically every day...and yes, I was jealous of them.) I still love this movie and remember most of the lines and lyrics from the songs. Just hearing some of them on the Disney station of Pandora brought me back to the first time I saw it. In honor of The Lion King's 20th birthday, I wanted to share my top 10 favorite things about this fabulous film!

1. "Hakuna Matata". I still say "no worries" all the time. "It's our problem free philosophy..."



2. In relation to #1, Timon and Pumbaa. They stole the show and are the best Disney sidekicks ever, in my opinion. I love how they interact and they're just so funny. See The Lion King 1 1/2 for more fun with them!

3. The score. I don't normally like when background music from a movie is included on the soundtrack, but I would listen to it on this one all the time. It was moving and haunting and made me feel like I was sitting there watching the movie. I especially love "Under the Stars."

4. The scenery, which was breathtaking. I love how they animated the waterfalls to look almost realistic.

5. The hyenas. For villian sidekicks, they were just so funny. Ed was the best with his crazy laugh. He made me crack up all the time. And we can't forget "Mufasa!" "Oooh, do it again..."

6. "I Just Can't Wait to Be King". Such a fun and cute song. The animation that goes along with it is really funny too. I also love how Simba and Nala harmonize on "see here." It's the little things, right?



7. Rafiki. Such a wise old monkey. Gotta love him! Before Elsa came along, he taught us that the past is in the past (even though Timon said we have to put our past behind us altogether). However, he also taught us that we can either run from it or learn from it.

8. Quotable lines. Then again, I saw the movie so often that I could practically act the whole thing out. Really though, there are some memorable lines that come from this movie.

9. A despicable villain. I love a movie where I can truly hate the villain and wish for his/her demise. Scar is definitely one such villain.

10. Simba and Nala as kids. They were such cute little lions and I didn't want them to grow up. I love when they're in the "elephant graveyard" and pinning each other.

There you have it. I'd love to hear YOUR favorite things about The Lion King!

Orange is the New Black, Season 2, Episodes 6-9

In case you missed my thoughts on episodes 1-5, you can find them here. A full episode list can be found here.

Reminder that spoilers are included.

Episode 6, "You Also Have a Pizza": I liked how someone interviewed the inmates about their thoughts on love. Some of the answers were so funny. While this episode seemed to be all over the place, I liked learning more about Poussey's back story. I'm guessing she ended up eventually using her gun and that's the reason she's in prison. The story left off with her dad stopping her one attempt. I wish we could have had subtitles when they were speaking German. They did it for when Gloria was speaking Spanish with people in episode five. I like that she stood up to Taystee in the end. I'm also glad that Leanne stood up to Pennsatucky. That fight seemed pretty random though. I haven't really seen Pennsatucky bossing anyone around lately. She seems more like she's in her own little world. I love Piper's cover-up for why she's asking all the questions and how Healy challenges her to do something with her idea. The intimacy between Bennett and Daya was great this week, and I'm not just talking about their time together in the office. (I'm surprised they didn't get caught.) I hope Bennett doesn't get caught sneaking contraband in though. I'm not sure if his plan is more foolproof than Red's way of doing it. Or Vee's for that matter. The Valentine's Day card from Pornstache to Daya was creepy though. I also don't get why Alex bothered sending Piper a card after she threw her under the bus. Crazy Eyes was pretty much out there in this episode, even though she was fun to watch, but I loved her moment with Morello. It was really sweet. I knew Larry was going to kiss Polly at some point. Of course, that just made things awkward when her husband arrived back home right after. I wonder if Piper will find out what happened. The other awkward moment was when Caputo thought he and Fischer were having a date and she brought a few other guards from the prison, including the guy who does the maintenance stuff. It was so obvious that she was flirting with him. The funny part was the confused old lady showing up at the bar. I don't think she's harmful to anyone since she has no clue what is going on anyway. Caputo's reaction to seeing her was priceless.

Episode 7, "Comic Sans": First of all, how is Vee going to gain anything from having postage stamps? Where and how would she even sell them? I'm very confused about her bartering system. The whole used tampon cases thing was so gross. I don't even know why Cindy even bothers putting up with her anymore. Cindy's back story was interesting, where we find out that her sister is actually her kid. It makes me wonder how old she is because she seems very immature. It was amusing to watch her antics in the airport. I'm guessing she got arrested for stealing stuff? I like that Bennett stood up for himself against Daya's sister and friends. I think putting her sister in SHU was pretty harsh though. Glad Daya called him out on that. However, I hope it was a good scare tactic to get them off his case. I love when Susan was writing a shot for Sister Ingalls. The way she said it was so funny. She does not know how to be mean. The stuff with the newsletter is great. Especially funny when Healy didn't realize the comic strip was making fun of him and he liked it. And Morello is so cute with her beauty column and ideas. The grammar argument was funny too. I had a feeling Polly and Larry would eventually sleep together, but I was hoping for an American Pie moment from Larry (akin to what happened with Jim when he tried to hook up with Nadia and it ended up on video). I wonder what will happen now that Susan found out about Daya being pregnant. I'm nervous for both her and Bennett now! The compassionate dismissal situation was awful, since the woman they let out on the streets is so old and confused. I could see why everyone was upset about it. I'd love to hear her story too.

Episode 8, "Appropriately Sized Pots": First off, I am sad that they let Fischer go. She was my favorite guard. I hope Lauren Lapkus will be seen on other shows. She'd be a great new friend for Mindy on The Mindy Project. (Just saying...) It was nice what Nicky said to her and funny how she acknowledged the flirtation from a few episodes ago but said nothing would come of it anyway. Rosa's story was really interesting and it was sad that she went from this high spirited bank robber to a woman potentially dying of cancer who has lost her looks as a result. I love how she trained the teen cancer patient to steal the drunk nurse's wallet. I liked Piper's outburst in the cafeteria but was hoping for a food fight after Crazy Eyes threw something at her. Then again, she'd end up losing furlough and that wouldn't be good either. I had a feeling her grandma would pass away before she'd get a chance to say goodbye. I hope Red doesn't get caught or get Gloria in trouble for hiding the contraband in the kitchen. The funniest line was when Fig said something about M. Night Shamalama. And the shocker at the end with Pornstache coming back....what was Fig thinking?!? Caputo's raid of the greenhouse was also crazy. I'm glad he didn't find anything.

Episode 9, "40 OZ of Furlough": Pornstache is even skeevier than before. I can't stand looking at him or even hearing him talk. His racist comment to Soso was unacceptable! However, I'm weird about whether Bennett should have said anything to Caputo or not. I get where Daya is coming from, but I also know what Pornstache did in the past and will never get caught for. The back story on Red and Vee was interesting and shed even more light on how terrible Vee truly is and why Red hates her. It was scary what happened to Red a while back when Vee's posse ganged up on her. I was hoping Vee would get caught with cigarettes when Bennett started going through everyone's stuff. (I loved his freakout, by the way.) I do have to give Vee credit for one thing...she has good taste in books. She was reading The Fault in Our Stars. I also liked her interaction with Big Boo later in the episode. I felt bad for Leanne when Pennsatucky attacked her, but I also think everyone is being too hard on Pennsatucky at this point. I like that she has this new arrangement with Healy to talk about anger issues. Piper's time on the outside was interesting because she points out what people take for granted when they're not in prison. I loved her reactions to such simple things and how she got all drunk at the wake and tried to do it with Larry. I'm glad Larry confessed part of what happened while she's been in prison. He couldn't keep that bottled up forever. I found the demise of their relationship to be really sad. Maybe it was the way Larry was looking at Piper or the way they both agreed it was for the best. It just seemed sad that it had to go down that way. It was crazy, but funny, that they turned the funeral into Cal's wedding. I like his wife (Neri) though. She is a good fit for him. I would have been so annoyed with everyone's questions, if I were Piper. It was her grandmother's visitation, not Piper's "home from prison" party. I loved her speech at the funeral and how she broke down at the end of it. It was sad to see Red's store all boarded up at the end.


Stay tuned for my thoughts on episodes 10-13. I'll be so sad when they're over. This has been a great season so far!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

On Broadway

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Moma Rock chose the topic: What are some of your favorite song lyrics? And why?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

There are so many songs out there and I'm definitely a music junkie. Choosing favorite lyrics is like choosing favorite books. I've decided to narrow down my range to just Broadway music and have selected some songs that have lyrics that speak to me, move me, or are just poetic and enjoyable.

"Seasons of Love" (Rent): I never gave much thought to how many minutes were in a year (not counting leap years), until I heard this song. I love how they list ways to measure a year and it inspired me to pick that for a blog project topic once.



The next two songs are early on in the shows (both from the same producer) and they talk about the characters having these hopes and desires that aren't being attained. Equally beautiful and heartbreaking.

"I Dreamed a Dream" (Les Miz)



"The Movie in My Mind" (Miss Saigon)



"Without Love" (Hairspray): This is such a fun song and I like they way they describe how life is without love to guide it along.



"Defying Gravity" (Wicked): One of the best Broadway musical songs of all time. It's so intense and liberating at the same time. I love the line "And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free."



"Schadenfraude" (Avenue Q): Only this show could put into words the reasons why I used to watch The Jerry Springer Show.



"It Won't be Long Now" (In the Heights): Another song about hope. It buoyed me when I was preparing to move from NJ to MD.



"Home" (Beauty and the Beast): This was added for the stage musical and the lyrics are just really pretty and the tune carries them along nicely.



"If I Were a Bell" (Guys and Dolls): A fun and whimsical way to describe being in love. I find myself singing it at random times.



No Broadway post would be complete without a song from Into the Woods. And I just realized which one I really like because they're planning to take it out of the movie. (Oh the humanity!) "Moments in the Woods" is sung by the Baker's Wife after she is seduced by someone else. The lyrics have an interesting rhythm to them and I love how the Baker's Wife reflects on her life in this way.



What are some of your favorite Broadway lyrics?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Orange is the New Black, Season 2, Episodes 1-5

As you may recall, I have become addicted to Orange is the New Black. Since I wrote about the characters for season one, I thought I'd write about the episodes for season two. I'm going to break this into three parts, as it's pretty lengthy. Keep in mind that there are a lot of spoilers, so wait to read the entire post until you've seen all the episodes in the group. If you want more information on any of the episodes, you can find it here.

Episode 1, "Thirsty Bird": I don't know that I liked it not being at Litchfield. I was itching to catch up with all the ladies and not be so focused on Piper. The fact that she's an ugly crier doesn't help much. When it comes down to Piper, I don't know if I should be sympathetic towards her or yell at her for being an idiot. I love that most of the episode took place in Chicago, although I was hoping for an updated version of "Cell Block Tango," focused on Pennsatucky. ("You poke me with that cross one more time...") Anyway, the Chicago cell mates were quite out there. I didn't know whether to take them seriously or not. I was hoping the horoscope girl would be nice, but she was creepier than anyone else. Even Crazy-Eyes couldn't get to that level of creepiness. The last scene is amazing. So perfectly written so that you don't know whether to be glad that Alex got out of prison and that Piper got screwed over or to feel even worse for Piper than you already did, if that's even warranted...  The other best moment of the episode was the lady by the phone asking Piper if she was famous for a certain sexual maneuver. Hilarious!

Episode 2, "Looks Blue, Tastes Red": I liked getting a background on Taystee's life growing up. It seemed like she really tried to be good, even though she came up against desperate measures that would lead her to prison later on. I love how she studied for the mock job interview in hopes of having a job when she got out. She was so dynamic up on the stage. I was so mad at Natalie for how she treated her afterward. I'm sure there's a grain of truth to what she says, but I think it's different for Taystee, who is so earnest and bright, if only she'd apply that to the right circumstances. There were a lot of funny moments, like the constipation jokes at Daya's expense. And the banter between Red and the older women prisoners. Pennsatucky's teeth were gross...Piper really did a number on her. It was cute how Morello was all supportive over her getting oral surgery. Apparently, Pennsatucky made a deal with Healy about what would be said about the fight between herself and Piper. I'm confused about that because Healy walked away before Piper unleashed her anger. I also love the scenes with the women when they're meeting with career coaches and also the modeling scene at the beginning. Sophia rocked that dress! I also love that Larry and his dad went to a gay sauna for a "schvitz." And I loved the interaction between Larry and Polly.

Episode 3, "Hugs Can be Deceiving": I loved getting background to Crazy Eyes' life before prison. What I still don't get is why she ended up in prison. I felt so bad for her when she was younger and people were being so snobby towards her. In any case, I feel like there are still a lot of loose ends and I hope they get addressed later in the season. I thought it was interesting how she fit into the fight between Piper and Pennsatucky. I didn't see that coming, but such a cool twist. I also love how Vee gave her confidence to stand up for herself. I also really want to know why Brook (Soso) got into Litchfield. She seems so sweet and innocent. She has to have a really good story...at least I hope. I didn't like how Piper was so mean to her at the end. I'm interested in the power struggle between Red and Vee. Like there's some history but I don't know what it is yet. I'm glad that the interactions between Daya and Bennett are back to normal. Pennsatucky looks much better with normal teeth, but she's so off-kilter that she seems even scarier. I like how her one friend stood up to her though. I felt so bad for Morello finding out that her fiance is marrying someone else on what was supposed to be her wedding day. I can't wait to learn more about her story soon. Overall, it was a really good episode. I don't think the date between Larry and the really confident girl was all that necessary, but maybe it will lead somewhere later.

Episode 4, "A Whole Other Hole": I loved so much about this episode, mainly that Morello's past is revealed and we realize that she never was engaged and that she's been stalking Christopher this whole time. I began to feel sorry for her on this whole other level. I did not see the stalker bit coming at all, which totally threw me. Such amazing writing. I'm still haunted by this twist in the story. The parts about women not knowing their own bodies was hilarious. And I love how Piper pimped out Soso for a blanket. I was hoping Red would sneak a mouse into the kitchen so that she could somehow work her way back in there, but it seems like she has something else planned with the shed/greenhouse. I am now thinking that Larry and Polly are going to end up making out at some point. It was funny how they were trying to fake out the old lady. I felt bad for Poussey since it's obvious that she wants to be with Taystee and Taystee seems to be turning her back on her. I don't know what Vee's agenda is now, but apparently Poussey made her mad by not going along with her idea. I can't wait to learn Poussey's back story. It was nice to see Yoga Jones back too. The best line was when the older woman who seems to have dementia called another woman a "c word" and how the teenage guy didn't get the joke that the lady with cancer was telling him.

Episode 5, "Low Self Esteem City": The episode starts off pretty gross, with poop coming up through the shower drains. It's annoying and unsafe of Figueroa to refuse to pay to get them fixed. Thirty second showers are not going to do the trick. I really hope Larry is able to expose all the money laundering going on in the prison so that it will affect her husband's campaign. I really don't want her even more in power than she already seems to be. I'm glad Healy is helping Piper get furlough after all he's put her through lately. I wonder if he's worried that she'll tell everyone about him not helping when Pennsatucky was trying to kill her. I loved the interaction between Healy and his wife. It was so revealing and intense. It was also funny how he's now trying to be buddies with Caputo after they hung out at the bar. It was fun seeing a whole other side of Caputo too. The "Bang-off" between Nicky and Big Boo is funny. I love how the one lady has all these rules and is keeping score for them. The funniest part was Nicky trying to hit on Fischer and then Fischer's reaction when she caught on. I'm glad Red and Piper are bonding more. I was worried they'd be at each other's throats at first, but they seem to have a connection now. I felt bad for Piper about her grandma, but have to admit that it was funny when she high-fived her brother after figuring out the news before realizing the impact it would have on her. I still can't stand her mother. She's just downright awful! The conversation between Piper and Larry was interesting, but did she even tell him about the furlough?  I felt bad for Gloria with the domestic violence situation. I was glad Arturo got his karma in the end. Lourdes is a great friend to look after Gloria and her kids. Some fun trivia for you....Olga Merediz was Lourdes. She played Abuela Claudia in the Original Broadway Cast of In the Heights. I met her when I saw it in 2009 and she signed my Playbook. It was fun seeing someone from one of my favorite musicals play a part on one of my favorite TV shows. Anyway, a few things I'm confused about:

Olga Merediz, 2009
*Why is it a problem that Gloria asked to move two women over to the kitchen to free up jobs for Vee's girls? Red made it sound like Gloria got played by Vee.

*How exactly was Gloria committing fraud with the food stamp money? Was she running her own food stamp service?

*Why does Fischer want to monitor the phones?

The first five episodes have been really interesting and I love the human touch provided in the back stories. I can't wait to see more!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Anybody want a peanut?: My tribute to "The Princess Bride"

I recently watched Somewhere in Time and was not impressed after all the build-up about it. The friend who recommended it excused my not liking it by saying that she doesn't like The Princess Bride. This got me wondering how anyone could dislike such a classic movie. Bear in mind, the first time I saw TPB, I didn't like it much either. I was a kid at the time and the ROUS scared me and I didn't like the whole death-by-water-machine idea. However, when I went to college, I started to watch TPB more often and couldn't get enough of it! I don't know how to adequately explain why TPB has become such a phenomenon and why it's loved by so many people. A few years ago, I found out that my in-laws had never seen it (gasp!) and I rectified that immediately! They also loved it. When I was watching it with them, I kept noticing all these inconsistencies, but I still loved it anyway. As a way to pay tribute to such a fabulous flick, I've decided to make a list of what I like best about it.

(Spoilers ahead, in case you haven't seen the movie yet.)

1. The lines. TPB is one of the easiest movies to quote. There are some classic and/or hilarious lines that I love saying all the time. "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" "Mawwaige is the institution that bwings us togevah today." "You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means." "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." "As you wish." "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"  The list goes on....

2. Inigo's revenge plot. He's been waiting so many years to slay the six-fingered man who killed his father and when he finally does it, it's hard not to stand up and cheer!

3. Fred Savage as the little boy listening to the story. He's so not into fairy tales and doesn't want anything mushy like kissing, but when he gets all into it by the end, it's adorable! It makes me glad my children like to read and listen to stories.

4. Robin Wright as Buttercup. She's such an unknown actress at the time but the role just works for her and she plays it so well. Even when I see her now, I keep thinking "That's Buttercup." She's iconic for that role!

5. Cary Elwes as Westley. The same thing about Robin Wright applies here too. He even wrote a book about being in the movie and it comes out this fall. I definitely want to read it!

6. The late, great Andre the Giant. He's supposed to be one of the bad guys, but then he turns nice and he's just so lovable and funny.

7. Romance. One of the cinematic love stories that it is easy to get behind and fall in love with, as well.

8. Humor. So many funny scenes, lines, ideas, etc. One of the best is still Buttercup's dream with the old lady yelling "Booooooo!" And the interaction between Miracle Max and Valerie is priceless!

These are amongst the many reasons I love The Princess Bride. Feel free to share your reasons too! (Or your favorite lines. I'm not picky!)

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Breaking up is hard to do

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Write a breakup letter. It can be to a person, of course, or to a place or a thing.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I originally was going to write a breakup letter to How I Met Your Mother, but then I realized that they broke up with me instead of giving me a chance to break up with them, thanks to their series finale. (And I still waited in a long line to meet Neil Patrick Harris anyway.) So I decided to do something more abstract....


Dear Post-Pregnancy Weight:

Back in 2011, when my third child was born, I didn't think it would be such a big deal if you stuck around for a little while. After all, we had the Simchat Bat, all the meals from people in the neighborhood, and then Purim and Pesach. Add on the post-baby's-hearing-test ice cream sundae and you've got it made. So there was always an abundance of food. Plus, I still liked most of my maternity clothes and could still wear them for a little longer with your help. Again, this was back in 2011.

Post-pregnancy weight
personified
Since that time, I've been exercising a lot. We even got a new treadmill a while back. However, I can't seem to get rid of you! I try to eat right but then you tell me that one piece of chocolate won't hurt. Or you tell me that I just HAVE to try the tiramisu flavored cheesecake at the office and how can I resist that decadence?!? You're like the friend who says it's okay to steal or give into some bad peer pressure thing that I really shouldn't do. So you still linger THREE YEARS later. I am trying to find ways to make you go away, and then something will come up, like Shavuot, for instance. Only you could convince me to make a really good cheesecake and indulge in all the Costco treats. And we can't forget about monthly book club meetings, including the ones I host. There's always bound to be sweets at these meetings. Of course, if nothing else, there's the basket of chocolate on my desk. It should be for everyone else at the office. Not me. But then I get stressed out and can't help but dig into my stash. So here you stay, attached to my stomach and waist and hips and thighs and behind.

Favorite jeans from 2000
I finally got rid of my maternity clothes. That should have been a sign to you that I don't want you around. But no....you just led me in the direction of the XL shirts, skirts, and jeans. You pointed me to the best looking items and I bought them. I still have my smaller clothes on the top shelf of my closet, waiting for you to disappear. I long to fit into my favorite jeans with the ribbons on the ankles. Sure, they're from 2000, but fitting back into them is a sure sign that you're gone for good!



So here's my new plan. I'm starving you out. Not to the Orange is the New Black extreme, but you're not going to be indulged like you have been for this long. I realize that I've been using you as a crutch to combat stress and entertain my sweet tooth. The more I got to eat, the more I wasn't ready to let you go. If I have to take it in steps as to not go through withdrawal symptoms, then so be it. First step is not eating out of my chocolate basket at work. And if you don't think I have restraint, you should see me during Pesach. I am capable of giving things up. I'm hoping that I won't have to write any more letters to you like this because you'll just go away after you realize that I'm not giving you an incentive to stay.

I know you're telling me right now that I should have a better body image. That I am saying "it's not you, it's me." I'm sorry, but it really is you! I liked the way I looked before you came along and I'd like to look that way again. And I will be checking my scale on a weekly basis as soon as I get back into my exercise routine again and start cleansing myself of all these sweets. I can't say I'll entirely be able to give up the sweets, but when I have them, it will be less often and in moderation. Don't even think of sticking around to see when that will happen because this isn't a carrot I'm dangling as much as a reward every now and then for getting you out of my life. By admitting that I do like a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream every now and then is not going to mean that I am weak or that I want you back. I'm hoping you'll get bored of waiting around for "the good stuff" and take a hike before I start giving up other things you really REALLY want me to have. I don't think you'll want to be here when that happens.

While I appreciate some of the comfort you've provided me over the past three years, I am through with you and I definitely want us to part ways.

Thank you for respecting my wishes.

Sincerely,
Melissa

Monday, June 9, 2014

Life before the Internet

My kids tend to complain about how bored they are when they don't get to play on the computer. I told my older son that I barely played on the computer as a kid and even when I did, we didn't have the Internet. We just had these pixelated games on floppy disks that would repeat the same questions over and over. And, of course, Print Shop. Then I told him that his grandparents didn't have computers at all and they still found ways to have fun. He replied with "That was in the 1620s." Yes, my parents were Pilgrims. In any case, I've decided to put together a list of the things I did for fun that didn't involve playing on the computer or watching TV (or even playing Nintendo, back in the day).

*Drawing pictures
*Coloring in coloring books
*Reading (thankfully, my kids like to read too)
*Making up dance routines
*Putting together jigsaw puzzles
*Playing Barbies (and later making clothes for them after I learned how to sew)
*Having birthday parties for my Cabbage Patch Kids
*Going to the playground (of course, it was right behind my house so that was a given)
*Playing on my swingset (something I need to get my kids)
*Recording radio shows on my cassette player
*Helping my mom bake cakes and cookies
*Riding my bike around the neighborhood (once I learned how)
*Taking the dog on walks (not that this will even be an option anymore)
*Sledding down a big hill in the winter
*Going to the neighborhood pool or my grandma's pool in the summer
*Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" with the neighborhood kids
*Writing letters to my pen pals
*Making up songs or song parodies
*Acting out favorite movies with my sister (usually "Annie" or "The Parent Trap")
*Making friendship bracelets
*Pretending to go camping and hiding out in my closet with a fake campfire made of flashlights
*Having sleepover parties with my friends
*Playing restaurant and even going as far as creating a menu
*Playing board games
*Blowing bubbles
*Drawing on the driveway or back patio with chalk
*Putting together obstacle courses in the basement, inspired by Double Dare (no sundae slides though...)
*Making goofy videos with my sister and friends
*Learning how to hula hoop
*Roller skating either at a rink or in the basement

Thursday, June 5, 2014

My favorite mistake

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Froggie chose the topic: One of the worst mistakes I've ever made.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

This might come off as ironic, but so be it. Last week, I promised not to dwell on negative experiences from my past. Having made this promise is the worst mistake, since I can no longer do anything relevant with this week's post as a result. I'm actually relieved about this because choosing not to dwell on past negativity has helped me feel better about myself and life in general.

I can talk about times when mistakes I've made have led to something good. Like how moving to NJ turned out to be a mistake, but it led us to Maryland, which is something good. We did make some good friends in NJ and it helped me get my current job because I got a good reference from my job out there. So it wasn't a total wash. Or how I managed to upset my BFF to the point of not talking to me shortly after I got married. However, other circumstances brought us back together and now we're even closer than we were back then.  How about when I was trying not to single someone out over something rather minor and ended up pissing them off more as a result, causing them to un-friend me on Facebook? Know what? I met two new friends as a result. Not sure if that relates to things that happen for a reason, but I might not have met these friends if things hadn't gone down the way they did. While it's unfortunate that the previous friendship is no longer part of my life, I'm also thankful for the friendships that have resulted from this incident.

There's also the time recently when I forgot to put stamps on the Mother's Day cards I mailed out. I'm glad I was able to give the cards to my mother-in-law in person instead. My sister-in-law managed to get the card anyway, as the post office apparently wasn't paying attention. And then there's the time when I laughed at the Tickle Me Elmo doll at Kay-Bee Toys, thinking no one would ever buy that for their kid and then a week later it became a huge phenomenon and I realize that I could have totally bought it and sold it for three times what it was worth!

Really, most "mistakes" I've made have led me down the path to where I am today, in one way or another, so I can't really say that any are the "worst." Sure, some of them have sucked more than others, but as I said before...the past is in the past!