My basket is overflowing

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, I chose the topic: What FIVE places would be in your "Basket of Trips?" Please say why for each and list at least one thing you'd do at each place. Time and money are no object, so the sky's the limit!

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I was reading Olive Kitteridge recently for book club. While I didn't like it all that much (other people did...no two readers are alike), there was one concept that stood out to me and inspired today's post: A "Basket of Trips." It was referring to a basket this couple had that contained pamphlets in it of places to go on vacation, should the husband be cured from his cancer.

While there are a lot of trips I still want to go on, including places to re-visit, I am being a good girl and sticking to the limit of five that I imposed on everyone.

Back in the 90s, I became close friends with a lovely girl who was on an exchange year at my high school. We stayed in touch after she moved back overseas, and then she came for a visit ten years later to help me celebrate my wedding. We got to spend lots of quality time together too. Now it's my turn to pay her a visit, and of course I'd bring my family with to hang out with hers. Therefore, I would like to go to Amsterdam. Aside from hanging out with my friend all the time, I'd want to be all touristy and visit the places I saw (and read about) in The Fault in Our Stars. One such place is the Anne Frank house. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank is so full of history and so important to Judaism. Aside from that, I'd want to walk by the canals. Our friends have this gorgeous picture of the canals in their family room and I always think of how cool it would be to see it up close in person.

At my high school graduation party

In 1992, I went on my first trip overseas and spent a month in the UK. I had a great time and went to so many different places with the exchange group from my high school. However, we only got to spend a day or so in London and most of that involved doing what the teachers wanted us to experience. "Lunch" (I think it's called "dinner" in the UK) consisted of these disgusting sandwiches. And we saw a musical at night, but nothing I would even consider memorable. So I would want to go back to London either by myself or with some girlfriends. I'd want to meet all the authors I've connected with, such as Rowan Coleman, Sue Margolis, Carole Matthews, Talli Roland, Michele Gorman, and, most obviously, Sophie Kinsella. I'd also want to make arrangements to meet the UK reviewer for my book blog, as we've been corresponding for a few years now and she's really sweet. And if I could make it work, I'd want to reunite with the girl who stayed at my house in 1991 and whose house I stayed at in 1992. Other than that, I'd do touristy things I didn't get to experience as part of the exchange trip, such as shopping in Harrod's, riding the London Eye, and seeing a well-known musical. I heard Miss Saigon is really good out there. I'd also want to hit up some pubs.

When I was growing up, I had a pen pal from Australia. We lost contact back in 2000 and I haven't been able to locate her since. However, I'm still fascinated with "the land down under." Especially since two fabulous authors I know (Juliet Madison and Liane Moriarty) live out there and write about it so beautifully. I got to meet Liane last year at BEA and will hopefully get to connect with Juliet when she's in town this coming spring. However, I'd still love to check out Australia and be all touristy, visiting the Sydney Opera House, checking out koalas and kangaroos, etc. I'd probably want to go around March or April, which is equivalent to September or October out here. It would be cool to see what autumn is like down under.

I know I've said this before, but I really, really, really want to go to Hawaii! I'd be all touristy out there too, and probably drag my friend "Jack" along so he could give me a tour of stuff that only locals would know about, as he grew up there. Of course, I'd want to attend a luau, but I wouldn't be partaking in any pig eating. I'd spend some of the time just relaxing on the gorgeous beaches.

You may not know this, but I've been to Canada once before. I went with my high school music groups (chorus and band) to Kitchener, Ontario. Part of the trip involved rehearsing for a combined concert with the school we were visiting. The other part was very touristy and I had a lot of fun during that time. Since that time, I've made some friends in Canada. The first being a woman I met online in the 90s and have yet to meet in person, yet I feel like I've always known her. She also lives in Ontario, as does a book blogger friend I've been e-mailing with for the past few years. One of the book reviewers from my blog lives in Canada, as well. (She's in Alberta.) I also have some author friends out in Toronto, such as Catherine McKenzie, Samantha Stroh Bailey and Lydia Laceby. I got to meet the latter two last spring, but would love to hang out on their "turf" sometime. I'd want to go back to Niagara Falls and be all touristy there. Of course, I'd want to visit the area where Orphan Black is filmed (also in Toronto) and see if I can find landmarks from the show. (Maybe I'll just go when they're filming so I can meet Tatiana Maslany. Just saying...)

Side note: I've noticed that most of my trip choices have to do with books. Even the Hawaii trip does, as I've read some books that take place in Hawaii (such as Keep Calm and Carry a Big Drink by Kim Gruenenfelder) and have fantasized about going there based on those.

There are other places I'd like to ideally visit in my lifetime. Honorable mentions go to Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles (especially Hollywood), Maine, Italy, and Greece. I'd want to go back to Israel, as well. I spent an extensive amount of time there during Birthright, but we have some friends, as well as relatives of my husband's out there. And finally, I'd want to go on another cruise.

What is in YOUR basket of trips?

Twenty-Five

I'm an avid follower of Airing My Dirty Laundry, and she recently did a post sharing 25 things about herself. I liked this idea so much, I decided to do it here too, but with a twist. I'm sharing 25 things about myself with links to blog posts that you may or may have not read over the past five years. I seem to have a blog post for any subject, so I want to see if that's really the case now.

1. I lived with four cats and a dog at one point in my life.

2. I wasn't always an observant Jew.

3. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up.

4. Even though I was on my high school's speech team, I am uncomfortable doing public speaking now.

5. My first job (aside from babysitting) was at my favorite Chinese restaurant.

6. My favorite sport is bowling. (A few weeks ago, I managed to surprise most of my co-workers who had no idea I knew how to bowl.)

7. I am a picky eater. I left off  bananas from the fruits and veggies list. I also won't eat blueberries unless they're baked into something, like cake, muffins, or pies.

8. I'm most like Belle from Beauty and the Beast and not only because we both love to read.

9. Jennifer Grey, before the plastic surgery, is my doppelganger.

10. I am responsible for two marriages. (One is indirect and the other is direct.)

11. I love to laugh... ha ha ha ha!

12. I am very much like my astrological sign, which is Cancer.

13. I've been through 40% of the US.

14. I'm much more awkward in person than I am online.

15. As one of my friends likes to put it, "the factory is closed."

16. I used to work with my husband's prom date. 

17. I still have a soft spot for the town where I grew up...Buffalo Grove, Illinois.

18. Long before I started a book blog, I had a fan club for V.C. Andrews.

19. I don't like to go shoe shopping and would be happiest if I only had one pair of comfortable shoes to wear for any occasion.

20. I'm fortunate to have a great relationship with my in-laws.

21. I lived in New Jersey for two-and-a-half years.

22. I was bullied a lot as a kid, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been since the Internet wasn't around yet. I started an anti-bullying page on Facebook where I share articles and videos on the topic.

23. I have a weird ability to remember years or even specific dates that things took place.

24. I was obsessed with "Rocky Horror" for quite some time and even let people call me Magenta.

25. I have a younger sister and we have a great relationship that I hope my kids will have with each other as they continue to grow.

Me, My Selfie, and I

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Moma Rock chose the topic: Selfies

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

When I first received this topic, it was hard not to laugh. I had just been complaining to Froggie earlier that week about how horribly bad I am at taking selfies. I think I complained to other people about it on Facebook recently, as well. Like my son took a picture of me for my recent profile photo and someone asked me why I didn't just take a selfie. How about: Because I wouldn't look that great?!? 

When I try to take a selfie, I usually end up looking at something outside of the range of the photo. Or my eyes look crazy. Or my smile is totally lopsided. Or the positioning of my face in the lighting makes it look strange. So it's rare that I get a good selfie. Usually, if someone else is the one handling the camera, it comes out better than when I handle it. Someone suggested I get a selfie stick, but I'm not sure how to use it, nor do I want to carry around an extra contraption just to take a good picture of myself.

In any case, here are a few that I'm not embarrassed to share. They're from my "Selfies Gone Right" collection. Enjoy!

December 2013 (New Year's Eve): Taken with one of my close friends in the area. Since she was the one pressing the button, I somehow managed to look normal in the picture, as well.

May 2014: Reunited with my friend Amanda, whom I've been friends with for 24 years now. We met up on her birthday when I went to NYC for Book Expo America (BEA). My eyes were actually super red and itchy when I took this pic, but you can't tell. Oh, and I got her that stunning bowtie as a birthday gift. 

May 2014:  For getting to be in a selfie with a celebrity, it wasn't too bad. :)

July 2014: Hard to believe this is a selfie. It's one of my favorites!

August 2014: Taken at Brickfair (a huge Lego expo). It was the best I could do given the lighting.

August 2014: My husband took this one, but I somehow managed to look like I'm staring at something out in the distance. I think I still look cute in this, albeit slightly toasted.

Orthodox Women Talk: Round Four

Welcome to the fourth installment of Orthodox Women Talk! If you have questions about living an Orthodox Jewish life, we, a panel of Orthodox women are here to answer them. Feel free to comment with your questions and I'll add them to our list. (If you don't want your name connected with your question, either comment as "Anonymous" or leave a note in the comment and I will not publish it here but will still share the question with our group.)

Teeny Tiny Disclaimer: Opinions below do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog.

Today's question: What Has Been your Experience with Hair Covering?

Before we continue, I want to bring to your attention two links. The first is to a poetry slam about covering hair. My best friend sent me the link without even knowing that we were being asked this question. Talk about perfect timing! The woman in the video has such a nice voice and a good sense of humor. The second is to a story from Jew in the City about a woman who used hair covering as a bargaining chip with Hashem in order to save her child's life. And here's another video I happened upon recently about why someone loves covering their hair.

EMILY

When my husband and I got married, we were living in a community that was pretty firm about married women only wearing sheitels when out in public. There were even signs posted on poles reminding women of this. We never planned on staying in this community (he was a resident at a nearby hospital), so we never really followed this. Though I will say it was one of the few instances in my entire life where I caved to outside pressure--I bought a sheitel for more money than I care to admit, thinking that he would prefer it, or that it would be easier for me than dealing with whatever disapproval came my way from others. I think I wore it maybe 10 times, and eventually sold it for next to nothing. I was kicking myself for spending that money. My only consolation is that maybe a woman who needed a nice sheitel but couldn't afford it got a deal. So for the vast, vast majority of our marriage, I have been a tichel/scarf or hat wearing woman. My husband prefers it, both because he likes the look of it and because he feels that wearing a scarf is a better way of presenting oneself as a married Jewish woman, and his feelings are very important to me. Men are visual, and if he likes the way I look in a tichel and it's more comfortable for me, well that works out just fine. I have to add to that a more practical angle--it's just easier for me. It's more comfortable and just more, well, me. If I wore a wig when dressing up for Shabbat or work or some event, I felt like I didn't look like me, and felt very self-conscious while wearing it. I felt like this foreign entity was sitting on my head and I was so super aware of it. During the day to day, we also do a lot of hiking and kayaking and the last thing I want it to be cruising along in some lake, getting tipped, and ending up in the drink with my sheitel either stinking of lake water or floating away. Thankfully, there are a lot of really pretty scarves and accessories out there that allow a woman to get very creative and dressed up with a scarf. I love the fact that I can hop on line and pretty much pick whatever color or style I want. We have tremendous access to choice now in whatever we decide to cover our hair with! So that is what we do. I don't really put a lot of stock in how a woman covers her hair--some do this, some do that, and I hope that when a woman does make the decision to cover her hair, however she does it, she does it with joy rather than feeling like it is a burden or a drag. As far as adjusting to wearing a head covering, that wasn't as tough as I thought it would be. Truthfully, I don't have such great hair. It's straight, mousy brown, and there really isn't much to it so I never really felt like I was having to cover anything great to begin with. I imagine it is a different story for a woman who has really lovely hair. I recently heard a friend talk about her hair covering experience, and she said something really powerful. She described how, when she began to cover her hair, she began to behave differently. Like she saw herself as a representative of the Jewish people and it made her more conscious of how she treated people. She said she began to smile at people more, began to always return a hello, or hold doors open--stuff like that. I thought that was really awesome, and is a really great way of looking at covering your hair. It's a responsibility, yes, but it's also a reminder of what and who we represent.

Emily Chilungu is a 35-year-old mother of four.  She hates labels and all the extra baggage that goes with them, so she just says that she is an observant Jewish convert married to another observant Jewish convert.  Emily is from rural Ohio and lives in upstate New York.

MELISSA

I only cover my hair for Shabbat and Yom Tov, or if I'm visiting my brother-in-law, who is frum and lives in Baltimore. When I do cover my hair, I only wear a hat or scarf. I've never worn a sheitel. In my community, women mostly wear hats/scarves at my shul, if that. Some don't cover their hair at all, which is their prerogative. Others just wear a headband. So I fit in pretty well with the hats/scarves I wear. When I go to Baltimore for Shabbos/Yom Tov, I feel out of place in hats/scarves because everyone is wearing a sheitel. I still can't bring myself to wear one though. It's just not something I feel comfortable doing at this point in my life.

Melissa Amster lives in Maryland (DC Metro area) with her husband, two sons and daughter. When she's not reading and interviewing authors for her book blog, she works for a Jewish non-profit. In her spare time (what's that?!?), she likes to watch her favorite shows on TV, bake challah and desserts, and host meals and other gatherings. Follow her on Twitter.

KESHET

Before I got married, I was very nervous about hair covering--to the point that anytime a date didn’t go anywhere, I would tell myself that at least I didn’t need to cover my hair! Because I was so anxious, I made sure to devote some of the wedding budget to a nice shaitel (wig) that color-matched my own hair. Now, six years in, I feel comfortable with hair covering. The process wasn’t as bad as I had built it up to be, and I now feel “myself” in shaitels in a way I would never have expected. I personally cover with shaitels because I feel prettier in them and find them more comfortable. Even in a sparkly pink tichel (scarf), I still feel less feminine without hair! Over time, I have learned more about what type of shaitels I like, and found a groove that I feel good in.


Keshet Starr is an Orthodox wife and mom who works as an attorney and moonlights as a scrapbooker, blogger, photographer, baker, reader, writer, and lover of all things creative! She lives in New Jersey with her fellow-attorney husband and two young children. When she isn’t taking care of her to-do list, indulging in a hobby, or sipping a hot latte, she likes to think about the deeper things in life and connect with others. Keshet blogs at www.keshetstarr.com and Instagrams at @keshetstarr.

RUCHI

I recently did two posts at my blog on this topic:

Hair Covering: My Midlife Crisis part 1: Comparing wigs and scarves


Hair Covering: The Women Speak: A poll taken by women of all kinds on their feelings regarding covering their hair.

Ruchi Koval is an Orthodox Jewish woman.  Married, 7 kids.  Yeah, you heard right.  

She’s the co-founder and director of the Jewish Family Experience, a family education center and Sunday school located in Cleveland, Ohio. She is  also a certified parenting coach, runs character-development groups for women, and is a motivational speaker. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, thinking about writing a book, putting on an Israeli accent, playing piano while singing loudly, and organizing closets.  She does not enjoy cooking or sweeping the floors.  She loves doughnuts and is currently trying not to eat them.

It pains her that Jews misunderstand each other so badly.  The goal of her blog is to unite us with education, respect, and understanding: She wants nothing short of global Jewish unity.  Won't you help her by joining in?

Find Ruchi on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google plus, or email her at ruchi@outoftheorthobox.com.

RACHEL

I was never someone who struggled with covering my hair. Even before I made my decision to do it, I thought about the relief of never grappling with serums and round brushes again. Woe to the one who hasn't cracked the code of "a good hair day". My blow dryer and I had one serious love/hate relationship. One of my least functional relationships to this day. Some mornings (or nights, as the case may be), my blow dryer was my best friend and advocate. I left the house with confidence and a hair flip. Still, there were the dark times, the minutes (hours?) when that hair of mine lay limp and refused to hold style for nothing and nobody. Hard to dredge up these memories but this is an important topic, so I persist. I was always familiar with the concept of covering hair with a wig. I knew the rabbi's wife and some others who did it. My mother even tried for a while but quit after her head and neck pain grew unbearable. The wigs of the 80s bore little resemblance to wigs of today. Their poof was their charm, feathered bangs were of great necessity, and although I was just a child, I could see how heavy and uncomfortable they were.

Fast forward to the third millennium, wigs morphed into sleek hairpieces, custom fit, with fake scalps to call their own. While I didn't know I'd cover my hair yet, I saw the options were endless and beautiful. Once my life path took me to building an observant Torah home, I bought my first wig to match my natural hair as well as I could. I was a first-time buyer and made the mistakes inexperience yields, but I liked it enough plus the blow dryer and I could finally have a mutually respectful relationship.

What catapulted my hair covering into a love affair was a series of lectures I attended delivered by Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits (shlita) who spent hours over the course of weeks discussing a woman's dignity. The concept that covering my hair was a symbol of entrance into a new stage of life appealed to me, and that this stage required increased dignity and respect forced me to treasure my new marriage more. By the time I was finished listening to the classes and participating in group discussions about the topic, I was floating with a royal crown atop my head.

One aspect of hair covering that I wrestled with (and to a lesser degree, still do) was wearing a scarf. I never felt that I looked quite the same with a scarf on and it was a difficult (and belated) plunge when I finally went out with my head wrapped in one. I always loved the concept of really showcasing the fact that I cover my hair but the aesthetic aspect did take me a while to stomach. Now, I reserve my Sundays and vacation days as "scarf days". As a matter of fact, I get lots of questions as a result and I enjoy the ensuing discussions. Still, I'm not quite ready to don a scarf to work but maybe, one day, I will be able to wrap my head around it.

Rachel Eden hails from Southern California where she teaches and writes about all things Jewish. She has spent the past ten years in various roles of outreach in California, New York, and Israel. She has a home of boisterous boys (and man) and invites you to be their guest (at your own risk). Rachel’s blog can be found at www.thiswaytoeden.wordpress.com.

TALI

Since I got married four years ago, I've covered my hair with mitpachot (like Wrapunzel, only hers are more elaborate than mine) and my trusty pre-tied denim bandana. There wasn't really a decision-making process since there was never a question of whether I would cover my hair or how I would do it. I was just excited about "looking married."

For me, covering hair after marriage was like any mitzvah. Just like my husband and I would be keeping Shabbos, observing kashrut, and all the rest, I'd be covering my hair. Fortunately, it's not something I find or ever found difficult, and I still really love that married look. It goes deeper than it sounds, though. Wearing hair coverings that are very obviously hair coverings means that I am immediately recognizable as married (taken!). I would feel so uncomfortable going out in public with a hair covering that could be mistaken for my real hair, even if it was permissible according to halacha (Jewish law). It's a personal thing.

Living in Israel, and especially on a yishuv, wearing mitpachot is very much the norm. The two times that I traveled back to North America since my wedding, it was important to me to wear the same head coverings abroad as I do at home -- in the airport, on the plane, and wherever else I went during those trips. In the communities I was visiting, most women did not wear mitpachot (it was a mix of sheitel-wearers and no hair coverings, actually), so I kind of felt like a mitpachat ambassador.

These days, I generally wear the denim pre-tied during the week and put on an actual mitpachat for Shabbos1 or Yom Tov. I used to do new wraps all the time, but...let's just say we can blame this one on the kids.

Tali Simon is a writer, editor, and food blogger living near the Dead Sea. She loves to cook, her skinny husband loves to eat, and their two kids are rather unpredictable. Check out Tali's vegetarian recipes, weekly menu plans, and stories about life in Israel at More Quiche, Please.

REBECCA

For me, haircovering is an easy mitzvah. Although I grew up secular, I had a couple of frum relatives, so haircovering always seemed normal to me. By the time I'd become observant and met my future husband, I also had friends and mentors who wore sheitels (and hats and scarves) and felt very comfortable with the halachic reasoning behind the practice. Moreover, I very much associated haircovering with a particular institution – marriage – and because I very much wanted to be married, I embraced my first hat proudly the very day I entered that stage. It seemed no different than my wedding ring.

I have never owned a sheitel, even though I'm Yeshivish and live in L.A., and most Yeshivish women in Los Angeles wear a sheitel at least some of the time. I wear pretty much every other type of haircovering. On Shabbos, you'll probably find me in a giant, layered Wrapunzel-style tichel or a fancy French mitpacha. If you see me in a snood, I'm probably sick or cleaning for Passover.

My most favorite thing about covering my hair is that it forces people to pay attention to my face. Before I was married, I was a woman with an unremarkable face but really lustrous, curly chestnut hair (admittedly, starting to go prematurely grey). Boyfriends used to rave about my hair, but if I pulled my tresses back, people often failed to recognize me.

Today, because my friends and neighbors never know what will be on my head, they have to really focus on my face. They notice my friendly smile and twinkling eyes. Because of this, I feel like hair covering helps my neshama – my soul – shine through.

Rebecca Klempner is a wife, mom, and writer living in L.A. Her picture book, A Dozen Daisies for Raizy, appeared in 2008, and her short stories and essays have appeared in publications including Tablet Magazine, Binah, Hamodia, and Ami. Her current serial for teens and tweens, "Glixman in a Fix," appears weekly in Binah BeTween.

It only took three years...

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Write about the most interesting or unusual or amusing way you've made a friend.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

Back in 2010, I had just started the book blog, so I was looking for people and groups with similar book interests. While searching on Facebook, I found a group in my county called "The Chick Lits." I immediately signed up and started telling them about my blog and offering the possibility of connecting them with local authors. I ended up going to one of their gatherings that summer. It was a mani-pedi gathering at a local nail salon. I started to get the feeling that the group wasn't really about books or anything to do with them. (Not sure why they represented themselves that way.) I didn't really feel much of a connection to any of the women, nor did I have much to talk with them about. However, there was one woman who looked to be around my age and seemed friendly enough. Her name was more unique and stood out enough that I was able to find her on Facebook after the gathering. After that event, I wasn't really able to attend many of the other gatherings due to most of them being on Shabbat. Needless to say, I was removed from the group. I was a bit annoyed since they charged a membership fee, but at least it was a small amount. In the meantime, I'd occasionally see posts from the woman who was around my age (I'm calling her by her initials after this: R.L.). Sometimes, she'd comment on my posts too. I didn't really think to make plans with her or anything though. My mind was preoccupied with my new baby, the book blog, and work.

Fast forward to the summer of 2013. I was out to lunch with a friend from work and I saw R.L. at the restaurant. I didn't think she'd recognize me, but she came over and said hello. She was also really friendly. Afterward, I e-mailed her to say it was cool to run into her and that if we were able to go to lunch on our own in that area, we could also meet up sometimes. That turned into a monthly lunch date at the same restaurant. (When we e-mail to confirm our plans, we just say "same time, same place.") Even now, I have to check my watch to make sure we're not going too long past our allotted lunch times because we have so much to talk about. We found out a bunch of things we had in common, as well as some things that we don't, but can still appreciate about each other (she likes the Minions from Despicable Me and even though I'm not as much of a fan, I got her a DVD of their little movies for Christmas). We both have sons pretty close in age (who both like Harry Potter), get annoyed with poor grammar, don't like Frozen, love musicals (especially Rent and Into the Woods), agree on the series finale of How I Met Your Mother, etc. Sometimes we'll bring each other little gifts or treats. My favorite was when she made me a Rent cake for my birthday and then got me a personalized book embossing stamp. We also send each other humorous pictures and articles from Facebook.

Aside from the lunch dates, we haven't really gone out much. That all changed when we had a mother and son double date to see the movie of Into the Woods. Then she and her son joined my family and me for dinner afterward. It was nice to have them meet each other since I've told my husband about her and have told her about my family. I know we're planning to see a local production of Rent in the spring, so I'm looking forward to that too.

My friendship with R.L. is one I treasure and I'm thankful for the good timing that allowed us to run into each other that one day a year and a half ago.

My Good Intention

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

Froggie chose the topic for the first blog project post of the new year: Set an intention for 2015 and write about it.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

When I first heard the topic for this week, I thought of this song. It has nothing to do with what I'm going to talk about, but if you want to watch the video, it's rather psychedelic in a Peter Gabriel's "Sledge Hammer" kind of way. (And Courteney Cox is in it too.)

Anyway, I had a goal last year of writing one fiction post a month. (Some of my fiction pieces can be found here, scattered amongst blog posts about writing, such as this one.) Then October came and I got caught up in religious holiday insanity. After that, the motivation to write anything fictional went out the window. However, I have NOT given up!!! I am going to get back into fiction writing and explore some story ideas that have been floating around in my mind, no matter how bizarre they are. As I was thinking of this, I saw a post on Facebook for an article about writing. (It makes me wonder if Facebook can read my mind.) The article had a bunch of tips, so I'm going to explore those more in detail here. (Sometimes having guidance helps me vs. rambling on and on.)

• Get your butt in the chair. Seriously. This is the hardest step. Grab some snacks and turn off the Internet. Invest quality time. I agree. The Internet distracts me even from getting my book blog posts done. Tea is my mojo for writing though. Otherwise, I'll eat way too much chocolate. 

• Tell your best story first. You may not get to the second one. I disagree with this because I wrote a bunch of short stories last year and I don't think my first one was my best. I liked some I came up with later in the year. I also think this for authors too. Some debut novels can be good, but their writing gets better over time.

• Decide on a title. That makes it real. When I have an actual story idea to work with, I will do this.

• Keep a small notebook handy to jot down ideas. Keep one by your bed, in your pocket, or in your purse. This is a good idea. I write other thoughts down when I want to get back to them, so why not story ideas too?

• Pay attention to how good books are written. And get to know your real competition. Be inspired. I don't want to compete with the authors I know and love. I respect that each has their unique voice and the chick lit community is so supportive. In any case, I've read some amazing novels in the past year and even confessed to being jealous of one of the authors because her writing was just that beautiful.

• Trust your voice. Don’t worry about being influenced by other writers. Don’t worry about others stealing your idea. Only you can write your story your way. Exactly. I like looking back on some of my stories. Sometimes I step out of myself and read it as someone new to my writing and I still like what I see. That has to count for something.

• Learn your craft. Take a class, join a workshop, or study on your own. Like any art, there are skills needed. Practice them. Right now, there's lack of time between work and parenting, but I found out about a writing webinar next week and I'm considering participating if the timing works out. I think it could be insightful. It's a step, right?

• Expect to write several drafts. Every story has two elements: structure and style. You cannot get both right in one pass. When I write short stories for my blog, I just post them as they are vs. editing various drafts. I'm sure this will come in handy for writing an actual novel though.

• Make friends with other writers, both online and in person. Share the joy and heartbreak of creating something out of nothing to them, not your family. (They would rather you do the laundry.) Check. Book blogging has definitely brought this about. Although I don't talk about writing with these writers. We talk about other things, like music, TV shows, life in general, etc. I even recommend books by other authors to them, since they are such a supportive community that way. I do think my husband would be supportive of my writing. I know my parents, sister, and in-laws are too.

• Go to public readings, seminars, and conferences. Build a community. When you support other writers, they will support you. Does Book Expo America count? Or going to book signings for authors when they're in town? I think blogging definitely shows support for other writers and that's just out of my pure love for reading and the people who provide me with hours and hours of entertaining stories.

• Avoid writer’s block. When you get stuck, simply work on a different aspect of your story. Something I should have thought about when doing NaNoWriMo a couple of years ago. I gave up way too easily.

• Be professional. That means get professional help. From developing ideas to strengthening the structure, to proofreading and formatting, you do not have to do this alone. You do have to invest in the process. The greatest writers in history had experienced editors at the big publishing houses to help them through the entire process. Those days, and most of those publishers, are long gone. I've worked with a writer I respect on pieces I've submitted for contests. She has been very helpful each time and I hope I can return the favor someday. Or at least pay it forward.

Having said all this, I have some ideas for committing to a writing schedule this year. It's mostly about generating more short stories to get myself back on track and maybe find something I can work further with. I need people to stick me to this goal. NAG me to write something. Toss an idea or a fiction writing activity my way as a challenge. I can only motivate myself so much, especially when a week rushes by and other things come up along the way. (Don't even get me started on Passover preparations...) As Velma Kelly once said, "I Can't Do it Alone." Will 2015 be the year I attempt to write a novel? I guess we'll revisit this post on December 31st and I'll let you know where things stand. Until then, here I go....