Book Review: Secret Daughter

Although Secret Daughter has some elements of chick lit, I am tight on space at Chick Lit Central and I really wanted to get this review out there so everyone knows what a great book it is. There were also some elements that were too heavy for it to be considered chick lit anyway. Besides, I read it for book club, so it counts more as general literature.

On the eve of the monsoons, in a remote Indian village, Kavita gives birth to a baby girl. But in a culture that favors sons, the only way for Kavita to save her newborn daughter's life is to give her away. It is a decision that will haunt her and her husband for the rest of their lives, even after the arrival of their cherished son.

Halfway around the globe, Somer, an American doctor, decides to adopt a child after making the wrenching discovery that she will never have one of her own. When she and her husband, Krishnan, see a photo of the baby with the gold-flecked eyes from a Mumbai orphanage, they are overwhelmed with emotion. Somer knows life will change with the adoption but is convinced that the love they already feel will overcome all obstacles.

Interweaving the stories of Kavita, Somer, and the child that binds both of their destinies, Secret Daughter poignantly explores the emotional terrain of motherhood, loss, identity, and love, as witnessed through the lives of two families—one Indian, one American—and the child that indelibly connects them. (Synopsis courtesy of Amazon.)

From the moment I cracked this book open, I knew I was going to love it, and I was right. There were some upsetting parts, especially for me to read as a mother. However, they were balanced out by a beautifully told story with descriptions so real that you could smell the streets of India and taste the spiciness of the food. I've never been to India, but I felt like I was right there the entire time. The voices seemed so real that I kept forgetting it was a fictional novel. I enjoyed learning about the different customs and cultures in India. There was so much contrast between the life that Krishnan was born into and the life that Kavita found ways to survive through. It was so jarring in that way.

If I had more time to just sit and read, I would have read this in a day or two. It was just that compelling and difficult to put down. I'd be short on time and say to myself "just one more chapter!" The whole time, it gave off the feel of a Khaled Hosseini novel. I love his books, so this is a good thing. I have been recommending it to everyone, even when I wasn't finished with it yet. And after finishing it, I still highly recommend it! The ending was a bit anticlimactic and left some questions unanswered, but it made me think of the book that was referenced a lot in The Fault in Our Stars, where it just ends abruptly and there are still a lot of answers needed, yet it is still the characters' favorite book anyway. In any case, I can't say enough good things about this book. It was just so well-written and eye opening, making me count my blessings even more than before, both on a personal and a global level. This is definitely not a book to be kept secret about!

Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Allergic to surprises

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Moma Rock chose the topic: Are you good at keeping secrets? Describe a time you were able to keep a secret, and another time where you were unable to. What were the outcomes in both scenarios?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

It's ironic that this topic came up recently because my husband was telling me that he couldn't share some information with me that he learned at a meeting from our shul. I told him that I wasn't going to tell anyone else, but his lips were sealed. I've dropped it since then.

In any case, I've kept secrets for other people. Some were deep and some were light.  My older son asked me to keep a secret for him a few weeks ago. It was a very minor secret, but he was protective of it, nonetheless. This was coming from someone who won't let us keep secrets from him, even when they're for good things, like surprises. He claims he is "allergic to surprises."

Having said that, I will talk about some good and fun secrets that were related to surprises, since I don't feel like talking about deep, dark secrets.

The first one, of course, was our trip to Disney World last year. My husband and I kept it a secret from our kids for nine months! Toward the end, we convinced them we were going to Chicago so we could surprise them at the airport, like other families do when they want to tell their kids they're taking them to Disney World. (I'm such a dork that I actually cried while watching some of those videos.)

Here's a video showing how we surprised the boys. There's even a photo slideshow afterward.

As you can see (if you watched the video), it backfired a little, as our older son was disappointed that he wasn't going to Chicago. Now when we go on trips, he doesn't believe we're actually going where we say we're going. But was keeping the surprise worth it? YES! My husband actually got tripped up once and almost ruined the surprise, but our son was so convinced we were going to Chicago that he actually corrected him!

Recently, my in-laws came in town for our daughter's birthday. We didn't tell the boys because if the weather was bad or something changed last minute, we didn't want them to be disappointed. Even when they were on the road, almost to our house, we carried out the surprise. We even had the kids call them to wish them a good Shabbos like they would any other week. Keeping it a surprise was definitely worth it because when my older son saw his Bubbe, he practically glided down the hallway to give her a hug.

Another time, I pulled off a good surprise on my husband by hosting a surprise party for his birthday, shortly after we moved to Maryland. I was impressed that we had such a good turnout for being new in the neighborhood. He was so clueless about the surprise that he kept fussing with our front door window curtain frame when we first came in instead of going into the family room. He definitely was surprised though.

A couple of years later, I tried to surprise my husband again for his birthday by taking him out for sushi. However, a friend of ours forced me to ruin the surprise by inviting him to come out for sushi a few days prior to his birthday. I kept telling him that it wouldn't be a good idea and then I had to confess why. It took away the momentum out of the surprise and I was all annoyed that I had to be put in that position.

The other good surprise I kept was when I became pregnant the first time. I totally surprised my family with the news. My cousin suspected it a month before I broke the news, but my mom thought she was crazy at the time. The second and third time around, they were on to me, so it was harder to keep as a surprise (but the main reason I didn't say anything for three months was due to Jewish superstition). I was disappointed when I couldn't pull off the surprise element of it the third time around, as my mom said something to the extent of "come off it already, we know you're pregnant!" I think we were able to surprise my mother-in-law though, even though I worried she suspected something was going on a couple months prior.

I'm genuinely hard to surprise, but my husband has pulled off some good ones on me, like when he proposed and the recent fun day out he planned for our 10 year anniversary. (Our older son was upset that he wouldn't even tell him what he had planned for me.) He also did a fun surprise with my 30th birthday cake, which I did not see coming at all.

Secrets can be good when they're related to something good, unless you're allergic to surprises. I'm just allergic to having surprises ruined!

A raw deal for Christmas?

Before I go on my rant, I need to mention that the subject line refers to a song from the stage version of Annie called "A New Deal for Christmas." This will be important to note in a bit.

When I was five years-old, my parents took me to the movie theater to see Annie, starring Aileen Quinn and Albert Finney. I fell in love with the movie and asked to see it more than once in the theater. After that, my sister and I would act out the movie all the time, singing all the songs too. I'd play Annie and she'd play the secondary roles like Molly, Grace Farrell, etc.  I even dressed like her for Halloween, although I wish I had a more authentic looking dress instead of the plastic costume one from Osco (before it merged with Jewel).

That is why, when I saw a trailer for the 2014 version of Annie (coming to theaters this Christmas), I wanted to cry. If you haven't yet seen the trailer, watch at your own risk. Bear in mind that I am not the only one who thinks this is an atrocious remake.

I am not a fan of movie remakes. The only one I genuinely liked was Freaky Friday, starring Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis. (I didn't like the original version with Jodie Foster though.) Annie is just so iconic and such a huge part of my childhood. I can't even imagine my daughter seeing a modernized version that is nothing like the original! I'll gladly show her my Annie DVD anytime she wants to see it, but I will not subject her to any other version. Not even the one from 1999 that was more based on the stage production. (Just realized that Haley from Modern Family played Molly in that version!) That was decent but oh-so forgettable. Anyway, I just don't get why they can't show the original version again on the big screens. Why wouldn't it charm young girls the way classic Disney films still do. Sorry, but Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty did NOT need Facebook or musical hits like "Let it Go" in order to impress young girls. Even Ariel, Belle and Jasmine still continue to hold a spot in the hearts of all girls who want to be princesses. I digress though...

It's one thing to re-cast the entire movie (which can't really be helped since Aileen Quinn is in her 40s now and Albert Finney would be Granddaddy Warbucks nowadays). It's another to change the entire premise and a bunch of names. At this point, it's not really Annie anymore. It's a shell of a movie carrying the same title and music, but completely changed to impress little girls who probably don't know about a century prior to the 21st one. The one thing I do like is that Rose Byrne is playing Grace (at least she gets the same first name, don't know if this new one has a last name too). Based on previews alone, I can tell that she'll do the role a lot of justice. Quvenzhane Wallis is cute as Annie and she actually made me laugh a few times, but it's hard to watch her take Aileen's place in this iconic role. (I really can't imagine ANYONE else as Annie and have a hard time seeing it on stage, as a result.) A friend recently said that she was auto-tuned for when she sings. Jamie Foxx seems like a good fit for his role too. He's definitely more subdued than Albert Finney was though.

Having said that, here is what bothers me about the movie:

1. Cameron Diaz as Miss Hannigan. She comes off as bitter and ditzy, instead of a sultry lush. It makes me wonder how Jane Lynch played the role on Broadway and if she would have been better to cast in the movie version too.

2. The modernization. It's meant to take place in the 1930s. That's what the New Deal song is all about. Annie goes to the White House to meet FDR in the original version. The backdrop of the Great Depression is what makes Annie have even more of an impact. Not that there isn't a contrast between rich and poor nowadays, but the original movie was filmed in the early 1980s and having it take place 50 years prior didn't bother me, so why should something dated back to a different time in history have to bother girls watching it nowadays? Having it set in the 1930s enhanced the ambience of the original version.

3. That Jamie Foxx's character is named Benjamin Stacks. Why couldn't he still be Oliver Warbucks? Is that not a good enough name for someone who is running for mayor?

4. Two words: No Punjab. For that matter, I don't think Rooster will be in it either. Even if the new Miss Hannigan has a brother, he probably won't be as extreme as Tim Curry's version of Rooster. If there were to be a Rooster, he would have to be played by Sacha Baron Cohen.

5. Some songs will inevitably be left out or modernized way too much. I see this affecting one of my favorites, which is "You're Never Fully Dressed (Without a Smile)." No 21st century singer is going to want to talk about "Hobo Man" and "Dapper Dan."

6. It's not your mother's Annie. At least I'll be telling that to my kids. I think even my older son was confused while watching the trailer, given that he has seen the original version.

So, this Christmas (or Hanukkah), "Let's ALL go to the movies," but I'd suggest spending our $10 for a matinee (gasp!) on something more original.

Wishing and hoping

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Be careful what you wish for.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

Since I couldn't think of anything to talk about, I decided to do my short fiction piece for the month. (By the way, I realize I didn't do a fiction piece for February, unless the one about switching with Moma Rock for a day counts. I just had a rough month between falling on my face and dealing with a nasty cough for a while.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Wishing Web

Could this afternoon be any more boring?!? Violet Murray tapped her fingers on her desk impatiently while scanning the latest updates in her Facebook newsfeed. Everyone was talking about the weather and wondering how much more snow was going to hit NYC. She probably could get some filing or copying done, but she really didn’t care at this point in the day. Almost everyone had left for the holiday weekend and she was stuck until her shift ended at five. Anything would be more exciting than this right now. I wish...

Before she could complete her thought, something flashed in bright pink and purple on her newsfeed. Not another useless ad, Violet thought.

“Are you sick of being miserable? Do you have a wish that’s in need of coming true? Then click HERE!”

The word “HERE” kept flashing in alternating pink and purple colors. Violet clicked on it just to make the flashing stop.

Welcome to WishesComeTrue.com! Type your wish below and read the waiver before clicking “Go.”

Yeah, right. This is probably a scam.

As if the website could read her thoughts, an extra window popped up with a chat screen inside. “This is not a scam. You get to make one wish, courtesy of a generous and anonymous donation. Once you make the wish, you can’t take it back, so think really hard first!”

Violet glanced at the clock at the bottom of her screen. It was practically five o’clock now. She typed “Thanks. I’ll be back later.” Before she could log off, another chat window popped up. “Once you leave this site, it will disappear and you won’t be able to come back.”

Great, I’m stuck here when I’d just like to go home and kick off President’s Day weekend early. Then again, it’s not like I’m doing anything for Valentine’s Day tonight anyway.

“Don’t waste your wish on finding a boyfriend. Just like the Genie from Aladdin, we can’t make anyone fall in love with anyone else.”

Okay…this is getting creepy. Intriguing, but creepy.

“Shouldn’t you be leaving by now, Vivian? You don’t get paid for overtime. What? No hot date tonight? Too bad.”

Violet’s thoughts were interrupted by her boss, Allison. The same Allison who was the most popular girl throughout their junior high and high school years. She still didn’t recognize Violet, even though their desks were always next to each other and their lockers were even closer.  Not many last names could fit between Murphy and Murray at their school. Even so, she liked to rub her social status in Violet’s face whenever she could. She also never got her name right. If only she could have been part of Allison’s crowd all those years. Maybe then she’d have some respect and wouldn’t be fetching Allison’s coffee (grande skinny mocha latte, no cream or sugar) every day.  She’d have the confidence to get a more exciting job too.

That’s it! I will use the wishing website to go back in time and become part of the popular crowd.

“Yes, I’m just shutting down. I do have plans to go to a concert tonight. Jewel is performing.” Violet crossed her fingers behind her back in hopes to get a little information out of Allison.

“Really?!?” Allison smirked. “I never liked Jewel. She was nowhere near as cool as The Dave Matthews Band.”

“To each their own, right? Well, have fun on your date. See you on Tuesday.”

“Night, Veronica.”

Violet clicked back over to the wishing website and typed in the box “I want to go back to 8^th grade and become popular.”  Then she shut down her computer and headed out to live out the rest of what she hoped would be her last boring day.

***

The next morning, Violet woke up to the smell of eggs cooking and the sounds of her favorite late 90s music playing on the radio. Her CDs of her favorite female singers like Tori Amos , Jewel, Ani DiFranco, and Fiona Apple were stacked on her nightstand, next to her CD Walkman. She was definitely in her childhood bedroom. YES! The website worked! Just to double check, she went online and typed in the Facebook address. Of course, it came up with an error. Her computer calendar showed 2/13/98. Looking in the mirror, she saw her 13 year-old self.

“Violet Grace Murray! You have to leave for school in 20 minutes! Are you coming down for breakfast?” Her mom shouted her usual morning script. Normally, Violet would dread going to school, but today she was going to win over Allison and become part of her crowd. It was part of the wish agreement. That whatever she wished would come true.

***

When Violet got to school, she sat by her locker in hopes that Allison would come by. Her best friend, Irene Kiriakis, came over instead. “Hey Vi. How was your evening?”

“You ask that every day. I just did homework and went to bed. What about you?”

“I stayed up a bit too late watching a Party of Five marathon. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but it’s just so good!”

“That’s cool. I wish you’d watch The X-Files already. Best show ever!”

“Bailey is way hotter than Mulder.”

“Whatever.”

“Anyway, there’s a new show that came out called Dawson’s Creek. Want to have a marathon this weekend? My parents taped the first few episodes since the time conflicts with Greek school.”

“I guess.”

“Well, I’ll save them until tomorrow night, but that's it. I’m dying to watch it already!”

Just then, Allison and a few other girls from the popular crowd showed up, giggling and talking about the Valentine’s Day dance they were planning to attend tonight.

“Hey, Allison!”

“Um, do I know you?”

“You copy off my homework all the time, so I hope you do. Anyway, I managed to score tickets to the Dave Matthews concert tomorrow night. Want to join me?”

“Seriously?!? How did you get those? The concert has been sold out for weeks!”

“I have my secret ways…”

“Well, you’re my new best friend now. Want to go shopping before the concert? And then go to Pizza Hut? My brother could drive us.”

“Sounds good.”

Violet felt Irene tug on her sleeve. “I thought we were watching Dawson’s Creek this Saturday?”

“What’s that?” Allison wrinkled up her nose at Irene.

“Just some show Irene wants me to watch with her. It can wait. The concert isn’t something we can tape and watch the next day.”

“Gee, thanks Vi.” Irene walked off looking dejected.

“What’s, like, her problem?”

“She’s probably just jealous. Not that she even likes Dave Matthews anyway.”

“So, should my brother and I pick you up at three tomorrow to hit the mall?”

“Can’t wait!”

“Do you want to sit with Julie, Mags, and me at lunch today?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Great. Let’s walk over to Mr. Gregory’s class. The bell’s about to ring and if I get another tardy, I might as well kiss the concert good-bye.”

***

Violet woke up the next morning with a pounding head. She was in a room that was neither from her childhood nor from where she was living before the wish came true. Stumbling to the bathroom in the early morning darkness, she nearly tripped over several people camped out on the floor.

When she finally made it into the bathroom, she squinted after turning on the light, only to see a complete stranger staring back at her. And this “stranger” was, dare she say it, hot!  After taking in her new appearance, including a decent set of abs and a larger chest area than she remembered having before, she went online to check Facebook. Maybe that would help her figure out some of the pieces of her life since her wish came true. All she knew was that it had to be more exciting than her previous one was. 

She must have a different login and password than she remembered from before, as she was having trouble getting in. She googled herself and didn’t find any mentions of Violet Murray. Typing in just “Violet,” the first few links that popped up were pop culture links, such as Perez Hilton. They all showed pictures of the gorgeous “stranger” from her mirror. Except she looked more and more drunk in each picture she saw. One of the headlines read “Violet Grace: Train Wreck or Lost Cause?”

Well, this isn’t good.

Just then, her phone rang. Someone laying on the floor groaned, indicating she should probably get it before everyone started waking up.

“Violet! Where are you?”

“Mom?”

“What? This is Cassie. Your agent? Or are you too drunk to remember? You’re supposed to be in hair and makeup right now for your appearance on The View.”

“So I really am a celebrity then?”

“Just wake up already and head over to the studio. You were needed there 20 minutes ago.”

***

On her way over to the studio, Violet checked her iPhone for more information about herself on the Internet. Putting some pieces together, she learned that she was a former Bachelorette who ended up breaking up with the guy who supposedly won her heart.  There were several articles about her in People and US Weekly.

When she arrived at the dressing room for guests of The View, Cassie ushered her inside, handing her some Tylenol and a large glass of some disgusting green drink. “Your usual hangover remedy. Drink up! You’re on in five minutes. Good thing you always look fabulous. No time for hair and makeup now.”

Violet pinched her nose and drank as much of the stuff as she could tolerate without throwing up. Then she felt Cassie guide her to the set.

One of the women on The View started talking. “Today, we’re featuring women who were friends with celebrities before they became famous. Our first guest is Dr. Irene Frost, who says she was once best friends with celeb-reality star, Violet Grace. Irene, do you have anything to say to Violet?”

Irene, who looked a lot different than the plain girl whose greasy hair always hung in her face, walked tentatively over to her. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I guess I just wanted to see for myself what a joke you’ve become. To validate why I was able to get over us parting ways. No, wait. Not us parting ways. You ditching out on our plans in order to hang out with Allison Murphy.” She practically sneered while saying Allison's name. “Where is Allison now? Probably resenting that you became even more popular than she was. I bet she made nothing of herself. In the meantime, I’ve gone on to become a world-renowned cardiologist and I’m now married with two kids. And what do you have now? Maybe you were at the top of your game for a while, but all the drinking and sleeping around is noticed by the whole world and no one really likes you right now. Especially me.”

“Irene…”

“I’m not done yet. I’m actually glad you ditched me. I wouldn’t have wanted to be sucked into your crazy life. I just hope becoming popular was worth it for you.”

“Look, I don’t even know what happened between that morning in 1998 and right now.”

“Yeah, right. Did you get amnesia from drinking too much?”

“I hope you can forgive me.”

“Even if I could, I still wouldn’t want to be part of your life now.”

Violet felt tears of guilt and remorse pooling in her eyes and ran off the stage at that moment. She was sure that interaction would be played over the Internet for days, weeks, or even months. She couldn’t escape what she so carelessly did to her best friend. She also couldn’t make any more wishes on that website. However, she could reinvent herself, even if it meant a few months in rehab and staying off the celebrity grid for a while, if that was even possible. Hopefully the world would accept a more toned-down Violet Grace Murray. Either way, she wanted to be someone she could live with. That’s all she could really wish for at this point.

Like to party? Hop along the Hump Day Blog Hop on Julie Valerie’s Book Blog. Click here to return to the Hump Day Blog Hop.

An amazing TEN years!

I am truly blessed to be married to my husband for 10 years, as of today. So much has happened since we signed the ketubah and I walked around him seven times under the chuppah. Two interstate moves and three kids, for starters. We've also grown together with our Jewish observance and it's brought us to the place where we're at now.

In honor of 10 years, I am sharing 10 things that happened in 2004, the year we got married. Some are personal and some are interesting facts.

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won the Oscar for Best Picture. (As Star Wars fans would say, "There was only one return and it wasn't of the king!" -Clerks 2)
2. I scored 200 in bowling for the first and only time.
3. Avenue Q won the Tony for Best Musical, much to my chagrin at the time, since I was hoping it would be Wicked. However, I let down my grudge and saw Avenue Q a few years later and enjoyed it.
4. We bought our first house together, which was actually a townhouse.
5. George W. Bush was elected for his second term. This is just for the time capsule feel of this post that I mention it at all. 
6. The Notebook, 50 First Dates, Shrek 2, The Incredibles, Mean Girls, Million Dollar Baby, Napoleon Dynamite and Anchorman played in theaters.
7. Friends and Sex and the City have their final episodes. Veronica Mars and Desperate Housewives come onto the TV scene.
8. I didn't go to my 10 year high school reunion, but I had a special reunion with my friend Nienke from Amsterdam, who came in for a month around the time of our wedding. Also, most of my friends from high school were there too.
9. New England Patriots won the Super Bowl.
10. I became pregnant with our first child.

Happy Anniversary to my besherte! Looking forward to many more blissful years together!

Also, happy Bat Mitzvah to my cousin, who was the same age as my daughter when we got married.

Your face is your fortune

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Froggie chose the topic: YOLO (You only live once)

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes."--Nadine Stair

I recently saw this quote on Facebook and thought of it in terms related to YOLO. Obviously, you can't make more mistakes because you only have one life to live. I find YOLO to be cliché and think it was a concept created by someone with a billion dollars because they don't have to worry about money or time being a real issue. I work full-time and when I take time off for vacation, I have to play "catch up" when I return. It's not like I can just jet off to Hawaii or Europe or some other place on my bucket list. So YOLO doesn't sit right with me. Therefore, I've decided to talk about having a "do over," as there are certain mistakes I would most definitely not want to make again!

Just recently I've been talking about a day that I would like to do over. About a month ago, on Shabbat, I was all excited to go to my friend's house for lunch. We're really close and have a lot of things in common. Schedules don't allow us to see each other a lot, so lunch together is a nice treat. However, that didn't happen as planned. On the way home from shul, we were walking down the main street to get over to my friend's house. My kids were running around and not listening to me when I said to stay to the side and not get in the way of cars. (Before I go on, let me assure you that no KIDS were harmed in this situation.) I saw a car coming and they were about to cross the street without me telling them it was okay. I went to stop them and somehow managed to trip, land on the asphalt, and split my lip, as well as crack a tooth and scratch up my face. Needless to say, I wouldn't be eating lunch at my friend's house. I don't know if I was more upset about missing this lunch or about cracking a tooth.

There were some upsides to the situation, believe it or not. A friend who lives nearby offered to stick around and take me to the ER while my husband went to lunch with the kids. It was really nice of her, considering we don't hang out all that much as our schedules aren't really in sync either. There are also a lot of doctors in the neighborhood and one happened to live right by where the incident took place. While I wasn't a fan of him using rubbing alcohol on the cuts (yeah, it hurts like you wouldn't believe), I appreciated him being available and also giving me my space to just nurse my wounds, while also checking in. I also got a lot of time to read that day, as the kids were safe and sound with my husband and my friend was also content to read her own book. We did chat from time to time and she helped me feel better about things. I'm also really, really, REALLY glad it happened to me and not my kids. They wouldn't have handled what I had to go through next.

At the ER, I ended up getting stitches in my lip. In order to get the stitches, the doctor put a huge shot of numbing medicine in there first. Let me just say that an epidural hurt less than that shot in the lip. I went home patched up and looking like I just was in a boxing match. Of course, that night I had plans to see a musical with "Jack." Thankfully, he was nice about the whole situation instead of making fun of me. (He and I like to tease each other though.) I looked awful and tried to keep my face covered with my winter scarf, even indoors. Of course, some people I know from shul ended up sitting down right behind us! At least they only thought I had a cold at the time. I still enjoyed the show and am glad I didn't miss out on such an entertaining experience. (I guess that's where YOLO comes into play...I will go out in public with a battered looking face to see a musical with a close gay friend.)

A few other upsides were that my tooth was easily fixable, thanks to my amazing dentist and the plastic surgeon I saw about my lip was really nice. It could always be worse, right?!? My face has since healed up, other than being a little pink in some spots, which is fixable with cover-up and powder. Only my BFF and my mother-in-law got to see pictures (my MIL just saw my repaired tooth and one of my halfway healed pics though). Yes, I'll go out in public that way but I'm loath to share the pictures with anyone else.

The people I'm close with in the neighborhood found out about the incident and they were all very nice and concerned. One even sent me a "get well" card. Other people didn't mention it at all or were nice about it if they did. So I'm glad this happened now instead of when I was in junior high or high school. I would have opted to be homeschooled for a few weeks until this cleared up otherwise! And I would have never left the house at all! (I know that sounds dramatic, but I got teased really bad after injuring my eye a few times.)

In any case, I'd still like that "do over." It was an awful thing to have happen (even though it was minor in the grand scheme of things and I could have hurt myself in such worse ways) and I still feel unsettled by it. I'm sometimes afraid to go walking to shul on days when we host lunch or have a meal out. I worry it will happen again. The other day, I only slightly tripped but caught myself and I felt all anxious from it. So it would be nice for the person who came up with YOLO to allow for "do overs" in the grand scheme of life. The question is "When will someone invent a non-fictional time travel device?!?"

Anyway, tomorrow celebrates a day that I would never do over, so come back to hear about that!

To be opened in 2024

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week I chose the topic: You have three choices:
1. Write a letter to yourself in 10 years from now.
2. Write a letter to yourself from 10 years ago.
3. Write a letter to your current self FROM yourself from 10 years ago.


First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I was inspired by the following posts:
After The Death Of Their 12-Year-Old Daughter, Parents Find The Letter She Wrote To Her Future Self from Buzzfeed

and

This is 40 from Snarky Mommy

Originally I was going to write to my 28 year-old newly married self to warn about some choices that I might regret down the road, but now I see why I needed to make such choices and the positive impact they've had on my life since then.

Therefore, I've decided to write a letter to my future self to be opened in 10 years from now, preferably on my birthday. Here goes...

Dear 48 year-old me:

First of all, I think some Mazel Tovs are in order! E is graduating (or has already graduated, depending on when you read this) high school and you are celebrating 20 years of marriage. Definitely something to be proud of! You've survived two Bar Mitzvahs and one Bat Mitzvah (and I hope you got to go on some fun family trips to celebrate). You've lived through E learning how to, dare I say it...DRIVE A CAR! Then again, I'm sure Jeff was in the passenger seat and you didn't get into a car with E behind the wheel until he earned that license. Now Big M is about to get his permit. (Remember when you were able to get a license at 16?!?) Little M is a pre-teen and while she may not be addicted to Sofia the First anymore, I'm sure you have some other challenges on your hands. If you thought she was picky about her clothes before, that was just a rehearsal for the real thing. Then again, the biggest challenge of all has to do with E....he's going to college this fall.

Just recently, E was telling us how he didn't want to go away to school and we were encouraging him to do so because going away to college is such a memorable part of life. Now you're probably tearing up at the idea of him not being home all the time and worried about how he'll do on his own. Have no fear though. E is like you and he plays by the rules. He's not going to drink until he's 21. Based on how he's doing in school so far, he's a good kid and always gets high marks in school. The teacher's pet, really. And maybe he'll still be a ladies' man, but he'll treat all women with respect and hold out for his besherte. One can only hope, right?!? You may have to worry about M & M when it's their turn for college, but E will be just fine!

I do, however, have to say something important that pertains to you. Last week, I read Tempting Fate by Jane Green. (Amazing as always, by the way. I hope she's still writing novels when you get around to opening this letter.) It's about a woman who is only a little younger than you and also married for 20 years to a wonderful man (actually, 18 years but they've been together for a total of 20). However, she allows herself to become obsessed with the attention of a younger man and it leads her to destroy her marriage and family. (I'm probably being more dramatic here in hopes you'll forget all the details and just take to heart what I'm saying here.) The main thing I'm getting at is NEVER EVER EVER have an affair. EVER. Got it?!? Jeff is a wonderful husband and you have something special together. If you really feel like you're having a mid-life crisis because 50 is right around the corner, do something that's just for you. Get a makeover. Go on a spa retreat. Write that novel already (if you haven't by now...and if that's the case, what is keeping you?!?). Find a new hobby. Go to counseling if you really need someone else besides the person who knows you best to talk you through it. Hopefully, Tempting Fate was as cautionary a tale against affairs as that Sweet Valley High book where Regina dies from snorting cocaine was to never doing drugs. Or how even watching your grandpa age quickly from all his smoking and alcohol consumption meant that you'd never smoke and only drink in moderation.

If I find out that you had an affair prior to this letter--and I shudder at the thought--I will do something you absolutely hate as a form of self-punishment. Maybe it will be eating seafood or scuba diving or moving back to New Jersey (no offense to NJ as a state, but I know the idea of moving back there will make you cringe) or going to your 30 year high school reunion and attempting to talk to everyone you couldn't stand from high school. Don't even tempt me because I will so do that! So I hope you keep what I'm saying to you in mind over these next 10 years and when you read this again you will be still intact in your happy family and doing something special to celebrate your 20 year anniversary. Perhaps you'll finally go on that trip to Europe?!?

Anyway, I wish you all the best and can't wait to find out what the next 10 years have in store. I hope you've been blogging during that time so you'll have more memories to look back upon!

Love,
Your almost-38 year-old self