Worth a thousand words

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Moma Rock chose the topic: Share with us various photos from your life and give us brief descriptions of why they are so valuable to you. It can be personal photos, or otherwise (like professional/artist photos, etc.)


First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

My selection of photos is pretty random. I'll start with celebrities though. This first one is one of my favorites. It's Jess Harnell, who was the voice of Wakko Warner on Animaniacs. The voice actors were at the Warner Brothers Store at Woodfield Mall (Schaumburg, IL) back in 1994. (Yes, this photo is almost 20 years old!!!) When we got there, they decided not to let anyone else in line to meet the actors. I was livid, especially since they were letting some people get in twice! However, they would give us tours of the artwork in the area where the actors were sitting. My friend distracted the person giving us a tour and I snuck over to take a photo. Jess saw me doing it and gave me the peace sign. That was the highlight of my day! Don't you love his hair, by the way?!?

Next is Adam Pascal, who played Roger in the original Broadway cast of Rent. My sister and I were crushing on him at the time. When we went to NYC in 2001, we found out that he would be at the stage door of Aida at a certain time, so we raced over there and caught up to him just in time to get pictures. We were on a natural high the rest of the day!

And of course, no celebrity photo collection would be complete without a pic of Joey McIntyre of New Kids on the Block. He was playing Fiyero in Wicked back in 2004, when we finally got to meet him. Even though Idina wasn't in the show that day, it was still cool to get to meet Joey Joe!

Moving away from celebrities now...this is my favorite photo of my favorite dog, Buddy. I caught him at just the right time when he was licking his nose. It always makes me smile to see this picture. You can also get a glimpse of the family room from the house I grew up in.

This was taken on my 22nd birthday in 1998. It's one of the rare photos of my grandparents when everyone was still doing well, before my maternal grandma (on the left) started on her path toward Alzheimer's. She passed away almost 10 years ago. My paternal grandpa passed away almost five years ago. My paternal grandma is still alive, but my mom told me that she's not doing that well.

This is me and my BFF at overnight camp in 1988. Even though I have a Jew-Fro mullet, I still think it's a cute picture of us and it symbolizes how we "cemented" our friendship.

This is a picture of my mom that was taken in the 70s. We had it hanging in our family room when I was growing up and I always thought she looked really pretty in it. She was probably in her late 20s or early 30s when it was taken.

This was me at 17, when I took my senior photos in 1993. I had my hair and makeup professionally done that day and I loved the vest I was wearing in this picture. In the past, I've had some horrible yearbook photos, so this was nice to have for a change. A different picture of me was in the yearbook, but that one was nice too.

Finally, this is my favorite photo from our wedding. With our 10-year anniversary just a few weeks away, it's hard not to be nostalgic about our wedding day. Having it in black and white gives it an old school feel.

I've decided not to post any pictures of my children here because I have a hard time choosing favorites from the zillions of pictures I have of them. And if you're friends with me on Facebook, you've seen most of them already. 

Broadway casting...Encore!

I had so much fun casting Broadway musicals last time, I decided to do it again!

South Pacific
Nellie: Kate Hudson
Bloody Mary: Uzo Aduba
We all know that Kate Hudson can sing and she has the right look for Nellie.
After watching Orange is the New Black and being blown away by "Crazy Eyes'" amazing voice, I found out that she's a stage actress. I'm sure she could sing too and I can just imagine her singing "Bali Hai."

Cabaret
Sally: Jessica Lowndes
Emcee: Sacha Baron Cohen
I'm not much of a Cabaret fan, but I felt both these choices were perfect. Jessica needs a new "vehicle" for her voice now that 90210 is over and she has the seductress thing going for her. Sacha Baron Cohen is really the best choice for emcee. Can you not picture him singing "Wilkommen?" Yeah, now that's going to be in your head too.

Chicago (with Glee cast)
Roxie: Dianna Agron
Velma: Naya Rivera
Amos: Chord Overstreet or Blake Jenner
Mama: Amber Riley
Billy: Darren Criss
While listening to the soundtrack last week, I just kept picturing it with Glee actors and not even all the conventional ones (i.e. Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Matthew Morrison.) Part of me thought Jane Lynch would be good as Mama, but I really think Amber Riley (Mercedes) can pull off that role. The rest really don't need any explanation whatsoever!

Grease (with Pitch Perfect cast)
Danny: Skylar Astin
Sandy: Brittany Snow
Frenchy: Rebel Wilson
Patty Simcox: Anna Camp
Rizzo: Anna Kendrick
Teen Angel: Adam DeVine
Keniecke: Ben Platt
For some reason, I got this idea in my head to put the cast of Pitch Perfect into Grease roles and it just seemed to work for some reason. I especially love my choice of Rebel Wilson for Frenchie.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Joseph: Adam Lambert
Narrator: Katy Perry
Potiphar: Eric Stonestreet
Pharoah: John Stamos
I like the idea of having rock stars in the two lead roles. I also think both could play the parts well. The narrator has to be very energetic and expressive and Katy is both. Plus, she has a great voice. And since Pharoah is supposed to be like Elvis and John Stamos was always doing Elvis impersonations as Uncle Jesse, that just makes sense.
I recently found out that Elton John is making an animated version of this musical.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
Rosemary: Cristin Milioti
J. Pierrepont Finch: Ed Helms
Smitty: Emma Stone
Bud Frump: Andrew Rannells or Jim Parsons
Mrs. Jones: Ana Gasteyer or Megan Mullally
Hedy La Rue: Mara Davi
I knew Cristin Milioti could sing because she was in Once on Broadway. She proved her singing talent on How I Met Your Mother recently and her personality reminds me of the way Michele Lee played the role a long time ago.
Ed Helms has that innocent appeal that would work well as Finch. He's a great comic actor, as well.
I was undecided on Bud because Andrew Rannells brings a certain smarminess to the role and Jim Parsons could just play it as really annoying.
Same for Mrs. Jones, as both women could really do justice to the part. Besides, Megan Mullally played Rosemary on Broadway so this could have her coming full circle.

Fiddler on the Roof
Tevye: Mandy Patinkin
Golde: Bette Midler
Tzeitel: Lea Michele
Hodel: Anna Kendrick
Motel: Zac Efron (or maybe one of the Jonas brothers?)
Mandy Patinkin is the ultimate Tevye. I would love to hear him sing "If I Were a Rich Man." He would totally own that song. I think the rest of the choices are self-explanatory.

Little Shop of Horrors
Seymour: Kevin McHale
Audrey: Christina Aguilera
Audrey II (voice): CeeLo Green
Dentist: John Stamos
I could see Kevin McHale playing Seymour the way Rick Moranis did. He has a great voice too.
With Christina and CeeLo as the Audreys, it could be a "Voice" reunion! Really though, I just picture both of them in those roles.
John Stamos would look great in leather and he played a dentist on Glee, so it's not a far stretch.
I am not sure who would play Crystal, Chiffon and Ronnette. I think having newcomers would work well. After all, Tisha Campbell was unknown to everyone when she was in the movie and she became famous later on.

Any suggestions for my next set of musicals to cast? Just learned that I may need to stop casting Anna Kendrick in musicals soon....

Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars

When I was a kid, I used to read these books by Lurlene McDaniel. Almost always, they were about girls who had cancer. One that stood out the most was Six Months to Live, which was about a 13 year-old girl who had cancer and she becomes best friends with another girl at the hospital, who is going through the same thing. The cover of this book originally had a girl wearing a robe and holding a teddy bear, which is similar to this cover (for the second book in the series, I Want to Live). While I wasn't too familiar with cancer at the time, having a girl on the cover who looked like she was just getting ready to go to bed made it look a lot less scary than someone hooked up to IVs while wearing a hospital gown. It had an inviting feel and once I started reading it, I was hooked.

As an adult, knowing of people who have passed away from cancer, including a childhood friend and a boy whose mother I met a long time ago, I was surprised I would even want to read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Except that everyone was raving about it and, at the heart of things, it was intended as a love story. Once I saw that Jodi Picoult endorsed it, I knew it was something I'd have to check out. Even knowing how devastating a disease cancer is, I felt the same way reading this novel as I did when I read Lurlene McDaniel's books at age 10.

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten. (Synopsis courtesy of Amazon.)

I really enjoyed (if that's even the right word for a story that mostly talks about death) The Fault in Our Stars and I'm glad I finally decided to read it. It was a sweet story with a lot of uplifting moments. Hazel was an excellent narrator and I felt I could easily connect with her, even though we're about 20 years apart and facing entirely different situations in our lives. I've been told that terminal illness can force a child to grow up quickly, so Hazel's voice sounded more like someone in their 20s, at least in my head. I would forget she was a teenager sometimes. John Green ranks up there with Wally Lamb and Khaled Hosseini in his ability to make a girl sound so realistic that I forget the author is a man.

The story is well-written and compelling throughout. It is very easygoing with a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor that made me laugh when I wasn't even expecting to. The dialogue and banter between characters is very genuine and natural, making me feel like I could easily step into the conversation like I was an old friend of the characters. The only difficulty I had was when the characters were getting all philosophical, as it sometimes went over my head or just felt incredibly overwhelming to even ponder.

I have to admit that I have a tough time relating to teen love. I didn't experience my first relationship until college. Of course, I was still naïve at the time, but I still find it hard not to smirk when I hear teenagers talking so dramatically about love and relationships. However, there was a different aspect to the story that I could, unfortunately, relate to in some ways. To say what it is would spoil the story and I don't want to do that. (You can come back and ask me about it later.) In any case, whether I'm just a non-believer in teen love or I'm just desensitized because I know the story is fiction and I find sickness and death so much sadder in real life, I didn't cry at all. I feel guilty saying this because my sister told me she couldn't stop crying (nor could she stop reading it and finished it in about three hours). Even so, I get misty-eyed when I watch the trailer for the movie. Given that I didn't cry while reading some other books but had the movie versions reduce me to a bawling mess (The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks, for example), I have a feeling I'll need a box of tissues handy when I see this movie. Shailene Woodley is the perfect choice for Hazel! Of course, knowing that she was cast in this role made me picture her as Hazel the entire time anyway.

All I know for now is that I definitely want to read more books by John Green. And given that he recently won The Innovator's Award from the Los Angeles Times, I have a feeling I'm in store for even more greatness!

More by John Green:

Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Happily ever after?

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Is there such a thing as a happy ending?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

Any musical theater buff knows that Little Shop of Horrors has two endings. I first saw it as a movie and was thrilled to see Audrey have her wish come true, even though the last few seconds of the movie implied that a sequel could be possible. Then I saw the stage version. The ending is not so happy. Let's just say it doesn't end the same way as the movie. However, with the director's cut of the movie, you can now see this less than happy ending from the comfort of your own couch. While I know what's coming at the end of the stage version, I've still gone to see it many times. I love the music and humor and can deal with how depressing the ending is for that reason. (Well, when Seymour flubbed his lines in "Grow for Me" the last time I saw it, it was hard to not shout the line out to him, but I behaved.) Related to Little Shop of Horrors is The Little Mermaid. This is because Howard Ashman and Alan Menken did the music for both. Listen to "Somewhere that's Green" and then listen to "Part of Your World." I'll wait... Anyway, The Little Mermaid also has two endings. Disney obviously wants everyone to live happily ever after and Ariel and Eric defeat Ursula together and then King Triton lets Ariel get what she wants in the end. That doesn't happen in the original fairy tale. The mermaid fails in her mission and dies. From what I remember, she does something unselfish so she gets to be an angel instead of sea foam, but some versions have told it differently.

In any case, when it comes to fiction, I really prefer to have a happy ending. There's so much writer control involved that I don't see why every ending to every story can't be happy. It's fiction, not reality. I enjoy having an escape, knowing that Harry and Sally are going to fall in love or that Simba is going to avenge his father's death and become the true king of Pride Rock. That's all there is to it on that front. Yes, I'll see movies or read books with sad endings, but it's not the way I wish things would happen.

Reality is a whole other "story," when it comes to happy endings. The way I look at it, "happy ending" is an oxymoron. Ending means that it's over and life isn't over until you die. And what's so happy about death?!? It's as simple as that, really. It would be nice to go through life in an idealistically happy way, but death is inevitable and it's going to be a setback on the happiness path. The first time you lose someone close to you, perhaps? Or when everyone you care about has passed on before you, possibly? Who knows?!? I just think that the expectation of having a happy ending isn't in the cards if something is going to get in the way of that. I apologize for sounding cynical, but that's how it goes. Sure, I enjoy being happy and I love the people in my life. However, my hold on anyone dear to me is tenuous and I thank Hashem each day for keeping them safe and sound.

Even when we are happy with our lives and we get certain things we strive for, we still end up wanting more, which also puts a dent in what we felt made us happy before. That "more" can mean different things to different people, based on what you currently have in your life. For instance, I am still trying to seek out a more fulfilling job position where I currently work. I love where I work and the people I work with, but I sometimes feel the stuff I do is tedious and it makes my head spin. I tend to envy people who are out there making connections in the community. While I feel valued for my work and know that I'm contributing to the greater good in my own way, I still want to make more of an impact. When the right fit comes along for me there, it will happen. In some ways, it's still nice to not have overtime expectations, especially when I need to get kids from school or the babysitter, have dinner ready and have them to bed at a decent hour with some time left to pursue my own interests. Being in a higher impact job position might not allow for that as much, but again, time will tell. Overall, I'm very thankful to be working at a place that has such an effect on the community and that there isn't the usual office politics and drama that I've dealt with at past jobs. This is the longest I've ever been at one job and I plan to stay there for as long as they'll have me.

This brings me to my final thought on the topic....that we only have control of ourselves and creating our own happy endings. This does not mean to go out and get what is ideal for a happy ending, but to just love yourself, treat yourself well and make yourself happy. I read two articles recently that relate to this. The first was about habits that unhappy people tend to have. I know some of these habits describe me. The author of the post says: "It is my experience that the more positive habits you have in your life, the more emotional happiness you will experience." Pretty self-explanatory, right? I try to do things every day to make myself happy. Even if it's as simple as reading a few pages of a book I'm enjoying or listening to my favorite music. I also try to find something to laugh about every day. These positive habits get me out of slumps that I tend to get myself into when I'm frustrated, annoyed, not motivated, or just going through the motions to get through the day.

I also found an article on Huffington Post about Rashida Jones (Parks and Recreation). There was a quote from her that stood out for me and was timely in relation to this week's topic. She was discussing her frustration over how marriage is seen as an achievement for women and how they can't be happy without it.

"I had the full princess fantasy: the white horse, the whole being saved from my life, which is ridiculous. What do I want to be saved from? My life's great! But it's just this weird thing that's been hammered into my head culturally: that's the only way to succeed, that's the only thing that counts for a woman. I'm happy, but the fact that I'm not married and don't have kids – it's taken me a long time to get to a place where I actually am OK with that, where I actually don't feel like I'm some sort of loser."

This really says it all in a nutshell. I like that she admits that it took her a while to be okay with where she's at in her life and accept herself and the fact that she enjoys her life without a husband or children in it. She's created her own happy ending with this self-acceptance.

While I can't say that I am able to relate to what she's talking about, I still make it a point to stay an individual and to not let marriage and motherhood strip me of my identity. It took me a while to like who I am, considering how I was made to feel about myself by my peers when I was growing up. I met my husband after I had established an identity and felt comfortable in my own skin. I had my own life and I know he liked that about me when we first met, even though he still jokes that I "blew him off" when he asked me to go bowling on Superbowl Sunday, a few days before we actually met in person. Even now, I have my hobbies and interests that have shaped my identity a lot. I also love how people consider me the glue that has connected them with other friends (or "Six Degrees of Melissa") and how people remark about something nice I've done for them. It's only out of self-love that I am able to extend that love and caring to family, friends and beyond. To me, that is a "happy ending" in itself! Or should I call it a "happy beginning?" "Happy middle-place?" Call it what you want, in the long-run, I consider myself happy.

Book Review: Orphan Train

I have to admit that I initially wasn't interested in reading a novel about children riding on a train to a place where they might be adopted and have to live and work on a farm. Then my mom and sister told me they really liked it and when someone suggested it for our next book club read, I remembered those recommendations and decided to give it a chance. I am SO glad I did!

Nearly eighteen, Molly Ayer knows she has one last chance. Just months from "aging out" of the child welfare system, and close to being kicked out of her foster home, a community service position helping an elderly woman clean out her home is the only thing keeping her out of juvie and worse.

Vivian Daly has lived a quiet life on the coast of Maine. But in her attic, hidden in trunks, are vestiges of a turbulent past. As she helps Vivian sort through her possessions and memories, Molly discovers that she and Vivian aren't as different as they seem to be. A young Irish immigrant orphaned in New York City, Vivian was put on a train to the Midwest with hundreds of other children whose destinies would be determined by luck and chance.

The closer Molly grows to Vivian, the more she discovers parallels to her own life. A Penobscot Indian, she, too, is an outsider being raised by strangers, and she, too, has unanswered questions about the past. As her emotional barriers begin to crumble, Molly discovers that she has the power to help Vivian find answers to mysteries that have haunted her for her entire life - answers that will ultimately free them both. (Synopsis courtesy of Goodreads.)

It's not often that I personally thank someone for suggesting a book to our book club. Then again, my suggestions were the ones being chosen over the past few months. The last time I did though, was for The Night Circus. When I recently saw the woman from our book club who suggested Orphan Train, I thanked her multiple times for the excuse to read such a fabulous book. I don't need an excuse to read in general, but given that most of my focus is on chick lit, it's nice to step outside the genre from time to time. Book club gives me a reason to do this. I don't think of Orphan Train as chick lit as much as general fiction or women's fiction.

I wish books like this were around when I was in school for possible required reading. There's an element of history woven in throughout the story, but it never feels boring or burdensome. It just enhances the feel of the story and makes me think that it was written as a memoir. I was amazed by how well researched it was. The detail is rich and allows for easy visualization. The dialogue is genuine throughout and there's an ebb and flow of tension and comfort. I found it easy to sympathize with and relate to both Molly and Vivian, even if they were nowhere close in age to me. I especially found it intriguing to try to figure out how Vivian got her name since she started out as Niamh (pronounced "Neev") Power.

There was nothing I didn't like about this book. While some parts felt a bit predictable and some connections felt a bit forced, it wasn't over the top.  I liked where she went with the story, even though some parts were sad or disturbing.

I would definitely recommend Orphan Train to anyone who wants a terrific and well-written book to read and to other book clubs, as there is plenty to discuss. I can't wait to discuss it with my book club soon!

More by Christina Baker Kline:

Just go with the flow

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

This week Froggie chose the topic: Ebb and Flow

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I've heard the term "ebb and flow" many times, but never gave much thought to what it meant. In order to do this post, I looked it up and found two different and interesting meanings. The first is from Urban Dictionary and basically says "Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor," which is one of my mottos. I wrote more in depth about it a long time ago and will share that post here, as I don't feel the need to repeat myself.

The other definition is from The Free Dictionary and it basically talks about increasing and decreasing and compares it to tides. I've decided to make a list of things that "ebb and flow" in honor of this definition.

1. My weight. It only moves up and down within a small window of variation at this point. One of my friends says she doesn't even have a scale and I admire her restraint over checking her weight. I am actually good about checking it only once a week vs. every day. Otherwise I'd drive myself crazy.

2. This weather. One day it's 10 degrees and I'm bundling up in a coat and scarf. The next day is 50 degrees and I've abandoned any need for a jacket. Then it goes back to freezing and snowing. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, Mother Nature!

3. My motivation. Sometimes I completely lack motivation and just want to sit on the couch mindlessly watching TV. Other times, I get my act together and write a short fiction story and put together my blog posts for the week over at my book blog. The same goes for work. I work best with deadlines and projects that seem more challenging. Then when it comes to tedious work, I drag my heels.

4. Some of my favorite TV shows, as they'll have a really good episode bordered by some duds. This happens with How I Met Your Mother and Glee a lot. There are also times when all my favorite shows will have new episodes in a given week and times when they're all repeats and I have nothing to watch.

5. The laundry. It mostly happens when I can't get it under control and let a huge pile of clean clothes sit for a while, building up in size while other clean clothes are already folded in baskets, waiting to be put away. Sometimes the laundry waiting to be washed will be overwhelming and other times I'll be searching for enough clothes to wash just for it to make sense to do another load.

6. The dishes in our sinks. There are times when the sinks are overflowing and other times when they're completely empty. My husband is mainly in charge of dishes (because I'm mainly in charge of laundry) and he knows how to keep the momentum going.

7. My book collection, given that I either loan books out or give them away and then accumulate more.

8. Shabbat meal invitations. Sometimes we go weeks without getting invited out for a meal. We'll sometimes host a meal during that time, but going back to the motivation issue, there are weeks when I just don't want to cook or entertain. Other times, I love having people over and will bring out my favorite dessert items and kugels. Then there will be several invitations in one week.

What is an example of "ebb and flow" in your life?

Silly Sunday

Our blog project group has once again changed by one member, but I'm still calling it Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is Darwin Shrugged, a friend of Froggie's. I recently got to know her better through "52 Stories" and I look forward to what she has to say on the upcoming topics.

I recently read and loved Your Perfect Life by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke. It's like Freaky Friday for chick lit. It made me wonder what it would be like to be one of my friends for a day and have them be me. So I paired up with Moma Rock to get a glimpse of a day in her life. I'm excited to see what her day in my life will be like. While we have some similarities, we also have some big differences too. I'm excited to see what her day as me will be like.
(Darwin Shrugged and Froggie paired up as well, so I also look forward to hearing about their experiences.)

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

When I wake up on Sunday morning, my first thought is that I don’t remember changing the ring tone for my alarm. My next thought is that it is 9:30 am and the kids finally let me sleep in. I definitely could use the extra sleep, especially after staying up ‘til two a.m. the night before watching a Big Bang Theory marathon. Wait…they’re going to be late for Sunday school!

“Ethan! Michael! Get out of bed and get ready for Sunday school!" I shout down the hallway.

“Who are you talking to, sweetie?”

“Um, our sons?”

“Have you forgotten their names, or are you sleep shouting? It’s Will and Robbie. Who are Ethan and Michael?”

I must be sleep shouting because this does not look like our house and I am not wearing the Honey Badger shirt and gray pajama pants I fell asleep in last night. Then again, I notice my figure is much thinner than I’m used to. And I actually feel physically fit. Or it could be that I’m well rested.  If I am, in fact, well rested, that doesn’t explain why I’m somehow still sleeping and wandering around shouting at people who are apparently not my kids. This is evidenced when the boy I thought was Michael comes over and hugs my legs. He is most definitely not Michael, unless Michael has some Benjamin Button age reversing thing going on.

I then turn around to look for Jeff and come face to face with my friend Kevin, whom I haven’t seen in person since 2001. “You’re not…I mean…you’re…”

“I think you really do need to get back to sleep. Those margaritas last night at La Mesa must have done a number on you. Jeanette practically had to carry you into the house."

“Will you take the boys to Sunday School then?”

“The boys don’t have Sunday school.  We were going to go to the Omaha Zoo.”

“Why not the National Zoo? Omaha is a bit far away. And will you tell Kevin that he’s in the wrong house?” I close my eyes and bury myself under the blanket, hoping I really am dreaming while also talking in my sleep and that when I wake up, I’ll be back on my regular Sunday schedule and Jeff will be lazing around in bed playing Clash of Clans on his phone.  However, I don’t get a chance to figure that out, as I feel a huge weight on my back.

“Will, get off Mommy. She had a ‘rough night’ and needs to sleep some more.”

“When can we go to the zoo? The snow’s finally melted and it looks hot outside.”

“Yeah! Zoo, Daddy! Mommy wake up and take us to the zoo! I wanna see the ‘quarium.”

“The aquarium is in Baltimore and the zoo is in DC. That’s two different directions.”

“Daddy, what’s Mommy talking about?”

“Give her some time. She’ll be back to herself after she has some more sleep. Let’s go to the park for a while.”

After everyone has left and the house seems quiet, I get up and go to the bathroom, which is in a different place than I’m used to. I find myself in my closet instead. I must be really disoriented. I could swear that I saw my friend Kevin in person this morning and that he said we’re going to the Omaha Zoo. I need to stop pulling these all-nighters to catch up on The Big Bang Theory. When I finally find the bathroom, I look in the mirror and see my friend Sara’s face instead of my own.  I splash some cold water on my face saying “this is a dream” over and over. I look up again and I’m still Sara. I wonder if Sara is me. Well, she better be me or someone is lost in another dimension.  I send a text from Sara’s phone to my phone. I figure she’ll get it and let me know she’s safe at my house until we can figure out how to switch back.

While I’m waiting for a text back, I look through Sara’s closet for something to wear. Her closet is much neater than mine. She doesn’t have to stock up on work clothes and most of her outfits look cute and comfortable.  I go to check the weather on Sara’s phone so I know what to wear. Hmmm…50 degrees? I can wear a T-shirt again! Well, at least a long sleeved shirt, but I won’t need a jacket.  It was 50 out in Maryland the other day and it felt so nice! I pair a yellow tank top with a blue, white and yellow checked blouse and a pair of jeans. Now on to the hair.

On my way back to the bathroom, I hear my phone ping with a text from Sara as me.

Yes, I’m you. Sunday School was cancelled due to a freak snowstorm (meaning 1 inch), so I slept in. So glad cuz I was so hung over from that margarita at La Mesa!

That’s a relief! Do the kids suspect anything? How is Maeve doing?

So far, so good. We’re all heading to the store soon. I can’t wait to see this Kosher bakery at Costco that Jeff was saying he wanted to get apple strudel from. What’s the difference between a regular bakery and a Kosher bakery?

Kosher means it’s under supervision and they only use Kosher products.

Cool. Any questions for me?

How do you usually wear your hair on Sunday?

I pull it back in a ponytail.

K, Jeff is telling me I need to manage the potty training. Ugh! Men are such babies when it comes to that stuff, am I right?!?

LOL! Have fun!

After taking a shower, I feel more awake and I head to the kitchen to get breakfast, after getting dressed and pulling my hair into a ponytail. I haven’t had long hair in years, so it was fun to do that again. I rifle through the pantry hoping that Sara was expecting us to switch places and would have purchased vanilla almond Special K. However, I was out of luck. She had all these healthy grain cereals that I have never taken interest in. Hopefully this switch will be temporary and that she won’t be freaked out by my Special K collection. I then check her fridge for breakfast items. Just then, I hear the door open and the once quiet kitchen is now filled with the sounds of merriment.

“Mommy, I got all the way across the monkey bars for the first time!”

“That’s great Eth…I mean, Will.”

“Mommy, I climbed up the slide and then went whee!”

“That’s great too, Mich…I mean Robbie.”

“Sweetie, I picked up some doughnuts and muffins at Dunkin’ on the way home. Interested?”

“Aww…thanks! Did you get me a low-fat blueberry muffin?”

Kevin rifles through the bag. “Um…no. I got banana walnut. I thought that was your favorite.”

I grimace as I personally hate banana, but if Sara likes it and I have to be her for a day, I should at least pretend to enjoy it. I like banana bread somewhat, so hopefully Dunkin’ Donuts can disguise the flavor.

“We got chocolate frosted doughnuts with sprinkles!”

I try to get into Sara mode, even though I don’t mind my own kids having doughnuts every now and then. “Honey, are you sure they should have all these sweets?”

“It’s just a doughnut. Relax.”

I heave a sigh and take a bite out of my banana walnut muffin. Pretty good, actually. Maybe I’ll try to replicate the recipe at home. If I somehow mentally retain the taste, I could even enjoy them. Just no walnuts since my own kids have nut allergies.

“So,” I say as I try to muster up some enthusiasm, even though I’m not much of a zoo person, “are you guys excited to go to the zoo?!?”

I get a chorus of “yays” from all three male voices in the room.

“Let’s get going then!”

***

The zoo was more entertaining than I thought. Even though the rides weren’t currently operating and a lot of the animals were in hibernation, there was a cool indoor desert and the aquarium was amazing.

“We’re hungry,” Will whined. “Can we go eat now? I want McDonalds!”

“No McDonald’s. It’s not ko…not good for you. Remember you had that bad tummy ache last time we went.”

“But Moooooommmmmy!”

“Mommy’s right. Besides, it’s a nice day out, let’s go to Friday’s instead.”

“Friday’s doesn’t have a play area.”

“We can go to Chuck E. Cheese afterwards to play games. Deal?”

“Can’t we go there for pizza too?”

“Their pizza tastes like sh--” I blurt out but don’t finish saying, after getting a look from Kevin. “It just tastes bad. Besides, I haven’t been to Friday’s in forever.”

“We just went last week, sweetie.”

“Oh, um…it feels like forever! And they have kids’ menus and crayons. I also heard that they have a clown who makes balloon animals on Sundays.”

“Cool! I want a balloon doggie!”  Robbie jumps up and down with excitement.

“Maybe I’ll get him to make a balloon robot instead,” Will speculates.

“Okay, Friday’s it is. Get in the car everyone!” Kevin corrals the kids into the back seat and we drive over to the restaurant.

***

The smell inside Friday’s is intoxicating. It has been so long since I was last here that when the smell hits me, it makes me crave one of their burgers.

You are getting a salad. You’re not going to eat non-Kosher meat and potentially get your mind hooked on craving it again when you’re back in your own body. Besides, Sara likes to be healthy! I hope my pep talk to myself will work. Maybe I’ll reward myself with cheese sticks or green bean fries if I can pass up the burger. It’s so tempting, but I can’t stomach the idea of eating non-Kosher meat again, even in someone else’s body. Especially since no one would think twice about having concerns about what Sara was eating, as far as keeping Kosher is concerned.

“So, are you getting a cheeseburger again?” Kevin interrupts my thoughts, throwing me off my pep-talk.

“I really shouldn’t. It’s not Kosher.”

“Mel must have some influence over you. Maybe you shouldn’t e-mail with her a million times a day.”

“Hahahaha. You got me there. Although, I have read about the benefits of Kosher meat as well as not mixing meat and dairy. Maybe I’ll try it as my next diet experiment and then blog about it.”

“Um…I guess. Just don’t expect me to give up the ribs at Famous Dave’s or the really good Easter ham you make every year.”

“Maybe I’ll make a turkey on Easter instead. And you haven’t had potatoes ‘til you’ve tried my garlic mashed potatoes. They’re unreal, according to…” I mentally note to myself to apologize to Sara when we’re back in our own bodies and send her the potato recipe.

“You’ve never made me garlic mashed potatoes. Should I be jealous of your ex?”

“Um…yeah. Not that you really need to be. You’re the only one I want to make garlic mashed potatoes for now.” I feel the sweat trickling down my back from my slip-up and change the topic.

“Will, what are you drawing there?”

“It’s a giant robot. Isn’t it cool? I want the clown to make my balloon look like this.”

“Mommy, will you help me color the jungle picture?” Robbie is so cute that I can’t resist, even though I usually don’t have the patience to color in kid’s menus.

“Sure. Can I have a crayon?”

“No!”

“How will I color then?” I give him a pretend sad face.

“Here’s a red crayon. Can you color the monkey, pease?”

Just then the server comes by. “Are you ready to order?”

“Sure. The kids will have macaroni and cheese…”

“Hey!” Will shouts. “I want chicken fingers.”

“And I want a hot dog,” Robbie shouts to match Will’s volume level.

Kevin goes next. “I’ll have the Jack Daniel’s chicken and she’ll have a hamburger, but no cheese because she’s Kosher.”

“Kevin!” I almost knock over my water in both surprise and amusement. “No burger this time, please. I just want a Caesar salad with no chicken on it and a side of cheese sticks. Oh, and an iced tea.”

Kevin chuckles at how flustered I was a few moments ago. “Sorry, I just had to do that.”

“I’ll make you pay for that later.” I wink at him, given the fact that as Sara, I am capable of winking. One of the skills I do not possess as myself. I just hope she’s doing okay as me and that Jeff isn’t giving her a hard time of things.

“C’mon boys, let’s go find the clown.”

As we wait in line for the clown to make balloons, I type Sara a text to see how she’s doing. She replies a few seconds later.

Does Michael really think that he HAS to play computer? He just had a mega tantrum when I told him we should have some family time. Oh, and does Ethan cry about the silliest things like that all the time? He cried because I told him that it was Maeve’s turn to pick where to go for dinner.

Sounds like you have your hands full there. Kevin seems to be more of a jokester than I remember him to be. You really bring out something in him. :)

Thanks! Let’s just get through the rest of the day and hopefully we’ll be back to ourselves tomorrow.

We better be! I have a lunch date with one of my friends tomorrow and don’t want to have to miss it! I also don’t want to miss the kids’ Valentine’s Day parties at their school later this week.

“Mommy, look at my doggie balloon!”

“And look at my robot!”

“Cool! Let’s go show them to Daddy!”

When we get back to the table, the food has arrived and Kevin is playing Clash of Clans on his phone.

“Ooh! Melissa says that Jeff plays that game too. It’s about time we connect you guys online. You’d get along so well!”

“Maybe you should tell them to come visit us here.”

“Maybe one of them already has been here.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing. Let’s dig in!” 

***
The rest of the day goes smoothly, almost like a movie montage. We take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese where Will and I have a skee-ball competition and Robbie has a blast on the climbing device designed for smaller kids. Then we do 80s and Disney Karaoke when we get home. I am impressed with how many 80s songs Will knows. Robbie just likes singing "Hakuna Matata" over and over. Since we had a lot to eat during our late lunch, we keep our dinner light and slightly healthier, with vegetable soup for everyone. 

Later that night, after the kids are finally settled in bed and we’ve done all their routines and prayers, I finally get a chance to go online. I am hoping the method Sara and I used when we originally switched places, by logging into each other’s accounts on Facebook as an experiment to see if we could trick our friends into thinking we were one another, would work again in reverse. Who knew that our wishful thinking would backfire so spectacularly? All I know is that I’m ready to be myself again. I log back into my own account and hope that Sara is doing the same for hers. Then I go to bed early in hopes that I’ll wake up sooner in my own bed.

As I try to fall asleep, I think of how I’m proud that I stuck to my convictions when it came to what I was eating, even with lots of temptation in my path. I figured that I wouldn’t be able to get Sara’s family to eat at a Kosher restaurant, so I just stayed dairy and vegetarian. And I’m also impressed with my level of patience with her kids. Especially since I don’t really like other people’s kids and always worry that they think I’m an alien when I talk to them. I felt natural with her kids though, but maybe that’s because they remind me of my own. And I don’t think Kevin caught on to our switch. If he did, he seemed to have fun making me think otherwise.

Soon, I find my eyelids getting heavy. I don’t even hear Kevin getting ready for bed as I drift off, content from a pleasant day, even if it wasn’t spent as myself.

***

“Eema! Abba! Eema! Abba!”

I quickly get out of bed and find myself back in my Honey Badger T-shirt and gray pajama pants. I try not to disturb Michael, who is next to me, as he apparently had a bad dream last night. And Maeve is doing her shrill, ‘I’m not wearing my implants yet’ scream.

I look at the clock and see that it’s well before I should have to get up, but this time I’m so glad to be home that I don’t mind. I make my way over to Maeve’s room and pick her up and then cuddle with her in the glider until we both doze off again. I’m sure Sara is doing the same with Robbie.

No matter how interesting someone else’s life might be, it’s really true that there’s no place like home.

Seeing "Orange"

There used to be a web series called Hollywood is like High School, but with Money. If I could give a similar name to my latest addiction, it would be Women's Prison is like High School, but with Lesbians. (Not that girls in high school couldn't be lesbians, but that's also like saying that people in high school couldn't be rich. See the correlation here?)  I'm talking about Orange is the New Black. I had heard a lot about the show over the summer, mostly in mixed reviews. Over the past few weeks, my husband and I started watching it and then realized we couldn't stop!

What's it about? Well, if you haven't heard something about it online by now, it's basically about a woman who goes to prison for carrying drugs internationally for her ex-lesbian lover from ten years prior. She's currently engaged to a "nice" Jewish boy (even though she's not Jewish herself) and starting a soap business with her pregnant best friend. Going to prison derails her plans for a bit, if you can imagine. When she goes there, she experiences a whole new world of how people treat each other. It's full of cliques, rivalries, and people you're not sure you can trust from one day to the next. There's even a corrupt security guard in their midst. In the meantime, she's trying to keep harmony in her relationships with her fiancee and her best friend while dealing with all the prison shenanigans. It's based on a book which is based on a true story. While we know that the author's name is Piper Kerman, she changes her last name to Chapman for the show. Throughout the series, we get glimpses into the lives of the inmates and why they went to prison.

After watching the first couple of episodes, I became addicted and couldn't get enough. For the next few weeks, I obsessed about what was happening on the show and what the stories were for each of the women at the prison. There was even some chick lit elements, mainly about Piper's relationships with her fiancee and best friend and some flashback scenes to her interactions with both. For those of you who haven't seen the show yet and might be interested, please look no further than this paragraph, as I'll be sharing spoilers below. (Unless you're the type who doesn't care if you know what happens throughout the show.) All I can tell you right now is go and see it. It's so, so, SO good! Have a marathon if you need to (you might want to spend all day watching it, it's that addictive). Then come back and read the rest and then we can discuss....

Note for guys: There are some interesting female-to-female intimacy scenes (to put it nicely). But the whole show is great so even if you're just watching for that reason, you'll still get addicted anyway!

It's not too late to turn back....many SPOILERS ahead...If you haven't seen the show, but plan to, please don't read any further.

I'm just going to share my thoughts on each of the characters and some parts of different episodes may be mentioned from time to time.

Piper Chapman: I found it amusing that she was this goody-two-shoes suburban-housewife-to-be and suddenly ended up in prison, where she had to make shower shoes until she could get money to purchase real ones. I felt bad for her sometimes when I felt people were treating her unfairly. Yet there were other times when I felt she just brought it on herself anyway. Like bailing on an important conference call and leaving her best friend in the lurch, just so she could chase a chicken. And how she was condescending to people. Even though drama seemed to follow her, she seemed to stir it up sometimes. While I thought the prank she played on Pennsatucky was warranted, given how horrible Pennsatucky was to begin with, she suddenly got all self-righteous and felt the need to reverse the damage. By doing so, she brought even more drama onto herself by trying to befriend Pennsatucky, only to be all condescending to her later. She really didn't play by the prison rules and managed to hurt a lot of people as a result. There are times you truly think Piper was wronged by someone but then you see how it looks from the other perspective. I hate how she hurt Alex so badly and then acted so condescending to her later. Alex was right to not put up with her BS anymore.

Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: She is someone you want in your corner. She's a good friend to those she cares about. I was genuinely worried for her when she got parole and had nowhere to go. I could understand why, in a Brooks from Shawshank Redemption way, she wanted to be back in prison. (Interesting that the actress who plays her has the last name of Brooks.)

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: A real piece of work. You DON'T want to get on her bad side. She is a mega-bully, and if she doesn't like you, she will destroy your property or threaten to kill you. It disgusts me that she acts like she's this servant of the Lord but she also goes around thinking it's okay to kill someone if they make her mad. Did I wish she'd stay locked up in psych? Totally! Am I glad for what Piper did to her in the finale? The vote is still out on that, but I don't blame Piper for that reaction.

Alex Vause: The show is set up initially to make us believe that Alex is this seductress who sucks Piper into her drug-cartel underworld and then names her for it 10 years later. Piper doesn't want us to like Alex. Yet, it's impossible to hate her. And eventually you might side with her against Piper. Laura Prepon plays this role to perfection and I love her chemistry with Natasha Lyonne's character, Nicky.

Natalie Figueroa: Worst prison manager (or whatever she's called) ever. She is so corrupt and also treats everyone like they're completely dispensable.

Sam Healy: I wanted to like him initially. He was nice to Piper in the beginning, even though I didn't get why he wouldn't help her in the whole "starving out" situation. (Unless he wanted her to figure out a solution for herself?) His background situation with his Russian wife who seems to only be with him for Green Card purposes is very interesting in itself. Anyway, any redeeming quality he had went down the toilet when he put Piper in SHU for dancing seductively and then told Larry what was clearly none of his business to say. And when he turned his back on a potential murder scene...that was the last straw!

Miss Claudette Pelage: While she may come off as hard-nosed and difficult to get along with at first, she has a soft side. I felt so bad for her after the radio interview and after finding out her appeal didn't go through. However, I never would have thought she possessed the rage to choke someone. I know she killed someone to get into prison, but I felt like she was doing it more out of protection and love.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov: While I initially wanted to hate Red for starving Piper out, I grew to like her. I love how she punched the mean lady's fake boob and managed to deflate it. I love how she took charge of things with the mafia guys. I also love how she has been like a mother to some of the girls in the prison. While she's no-nonsense, it's a tough love thing on her part. I really hate what Pornstache did to her and what that made her resort to doing.

Larry Bloom: The only thing I like about him is that he's played by Jason Biggs. Although it may have been wrong for Piper to sneak around with Alex behind his back, he had no right hurting the feelings of other inmates, even if just to get back at her. That was not cool. Also, given that he lied about Alex naming Piper in the first place (by saying she didn't do it after all), he only brought Piper closer with her. I just don't get why he was hanging out with Piper's brother so much if he was trying to ignore her. I love his mom though. She's so funny.

Nicky Nichols: It's so nice to see Natasha Lyonne again. She's really talented. I like her in the role of Nicky. She has this tough side, but is also a genuine friend to those who need her. I wish they showed more of her story when it was her week to have her background featured. And as I mentioned before, I love her and Alex together.

George 'Pornstache' Mendez: He's a creepy and disgusting excuse for a human being, and that's just me being nice. I so wish he got in trouble for the drugs and Tricia's demise. Even though the reason he got suspended was totally warranted, being that he was set up made it less of an offense than the despicable stuff he carried out all by himself. The worst was when he pissed in the vat of gravy. If I had been Red, there would have been a Lorena Bobbit moment happening there.

Dayanara Diaz: She's definitely my favorite on the show. Anyone who is willing to take one for the team in order to get Pornstache in trouble is awesome in my book. I love watching her relationship with Bennett from week to week. I also love how she acted as mother to her siblings since her own mother was so selfish. She possesses this quiet beauty that is incredible to watch.

Susan Fischer: I love that she went from being a grocery store clerk to being a security guard. I also love that even when she tries to act mean, she still comes off as nice. I could totally see myself becoming friends with her. I just didn't like that she gave Caputo the impression that she liked him, only to introduce him to her boyfriend.

Big Boo: Broadway actress Lea DeLaria plays this role to perfection. I love that she has a dog called "Little Boo." I'd like to know more of her story.

Poussey Washington: She's also very likable. Her relationship (friendship or possibly more) with Taystee is interesting to watch. I also want to know more of her story.

John Bennett: Is it bad that I got all worried when he was mad at Daya and then felt better when he started to warm to her again? He's also adorable, so that adds to the "I want him to be with Daya all the time" factor.

Lorna Morello: Honestly, her voice grated on me for a while. Then I got used to it and enjoyed watching her for her quirkiness. She's also nice to the other women in the prison and I definitely need to know more of her story, especially with this engagement that people think isn't for real.

Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Even though she did some less-than-savory things, like pissing on the floor of Piper and Claudette's room, there's just something so likable about her. It's not just her voice (given that Uzo Aduba is a stage actress, her voice is fantastic), but she also tells it like it is. I love that she told Piper that she was mean, in a way that was supposed to be nice but came off as harsh in its own way. Her story definitely needs to be told. Especially now that we've met her parents!

Yoga Jones: She reminds me of an aged and very anxious version of Ellen DeGeneres. Having said that, she's very likable. I feel bad for the reason she ended up in prison because she clearly made a mistake.

Janae Watson: Learning her story has made her even more interesting. She has this edge to her, but she's also nice once you get to know her.

Sophia Burset: I like that she brings the issues that come with being transgender into the prison setting. It's interesting to see how she transformed from a man and the effect it has had on her family and her well-being. Her interactions with her wife are genuine and realistic. I also love the connection she formed with Sister Ingalls.

Aleida Diaz: At first, I was really glad she ended up in prison because she was selfish and irresponsible. However, once Daya's secret came out, she has finally stepped up to the plate and is now acting like a real mother.

Polly Harper: Piper's best friend is another interesting character to watch. You can tell that she's trying to be supportive, but also becoming annoyed with who Piper has become since she started at Litchfield. The actress who plays her, Maria Dizzia, has this great look for someone I picture while reading chick lit novels. I actually have chosen her for a lead role in a great book I read recently. (That will be revealed later this year...)

Sister Ingalls: I like that she's open-minded and how she sees through some of the BS she has to deal with. I love when she called Sophia out on trying to get her hormone pills. That was classic. She is definitely patient and I'm VERY curious as to why she is in prison. I don't know that she's just there for religious support. (Correct me if I'm wrong...)

Tricia Miler: You could tell that she was sweet and well-meaning, even when she was trying to survive on the streets. What happened to her in prison was horrible and sad. I still hope Pornstache pays for that!

There you have it. If you've read this far and want to share your own thoughts on the characters or storylines, I'd love to hear them. Can't wait till season two begins this summer!