Something's Gotta Give

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: Write about a time someone else described you and you were shocked -- either because they were so wrong or because they were spot on.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

Funny timing with this topic...around the same time Darwin Shrugged gave it to us, she posted the following comment on my post from last week, Operation: Procrastination:
"I have such a hard time believing this because you are one of the most organized, on-top-of-it people I know! I refuse to believe you procrastinate!"

From there, this week's post was born. Darwin Shrugged made my "job" that much easier! Of course, she was wrong in her description of me. When I participated in Susie Schnall's Balance Project interview last fall, I mentioned how it's not possible to have it all and that something's gotta give in some area of life. I reiterated this in my review of Susie's novel, The Balance Project, that just came out this week. That "something" for me is my organizational skills. As hard and as often as I try, as soon as I get organized, everything erupts all over the place.

Since Darwin Shrugged likes when I refer to past blog posts to explain what I'm talking about, I'll share a few of them here....

*In I have my flaws (June 24, 2010), I wrote about both procrastinating and being disorganized. I also mentioned these as some of my vices in We've all got our junk (September 22, 2011).

*I did these FlyLady challenges in the spring of 2010 and blogged about them as I went along. I eventually gave up once I became pregnant and was too sick to concentrate on organizing all that much.

*Since my post about my inbox, You've got (WAY too much) mail! (February 12, 2015), it has grown to now 11,021 new messages. And there are still more read messages too. My other inboxes are smaller but still out of control.

*In My Purse-onality (February 22, 2013), I showed the contents of my purse. Since then it's become even more of a hiding place for all sorts of random items.

*In All Consuming (May 1, 2014) I tried giving away stuff I don't need anymore.

*In Clutter, here I come (January 9, 2014), I made it a goal to organize certain parts of my room and bathroom. As you can see from the picture, I haven't done too well at maintaining my bathroom. My jewelry area of my dresser is in decent shape, but I usually end up leaving my necklaces on my nightstand and they sometimes disappear for a few days.

And if you think this is bad, this is how my bedroom looks in the weeks between visits from our cleaning service:

My laundry basket that doesn't get cleared out
until the night before our cleaning service visits.
(Along with my hats and scarves.)

The wall closest to my bed, where I store all sorts of random things.

My nightstand. Enough said!

I'm hoping some of the tips in this #SpringDeJunkChallenge will help me get a handle on my clutter. Or at least that I'll win the $210 Amazon Gift card (so I can buy more stuff with which to clutter my house....)

At least our cleaning service is coming before my mom and sister's visit or I'll never hear the end of it!

Operation: Procrastination

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Froggie chose the topic:"To Do" items that you keep putting off.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

I tend to be a procrastinator, if that's not already obvious. I get done what I need to, but I also put off things that have been needing attention. Here are some items currently on my "to do" list:

*Take my older son to orthodontist consultations so we can get the ball rolling on the braces process.

*Take my older son and daughter to the audiologist for their cochlear implant mappings and hearing tests.

*Take all three kids to an allergist to get updates on current allergies and find a way to get my younger son's outdoor allergies more under control. Then again, I'd need to find an allergist that is next to a bar because allergist visits require a good drink afterward. For me, of course! The last allergist appointment was so stressful that it is why I'm so behind on getting them to an allergist again. And I need to find a better allergist who is not only good with kids, but also with parents.

*Get my cousin wedding and bridal shower gifts.

*Bake challah again. The last time I made it was well before Pesach and now I'm out of my stash.

*Make bird feeders with the kids that I promised to do after Pesach since it involves Cheerios.

*Catch up on The Big Bang Theory and watch all the shows everyone is telling me to watch...especially House of Cards, Parenthood, and The Goldbergs.

*Read books that were on my TBR list from the beginning of 2014. (To date, I've only read the first two from that pile.) You knew that my "to do" list would have to include reading!

*Catch up on items I've been putting off at work for a while because they're not urgent but probably should be done at some point.

*Donate the clothes and other items that are taking up valuable space in our storage room.

*Write fiction stories! I have the ideas in my head but haven't managed to get them written out yet.

*Clean out my inbox. It's gotten worse since I wrote this post! I went through old e-mails and thought I was making progress, but apparently not... I have been working on a more manageable inbox from another account, but I'm still freaked out to see over 11,000 new messages at my primary account.

What is on YOUR "to do" list?

"This family tree's got deep roots."

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, I chose the topic: Who do you consider family that is not related by blood or marriage?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

The inspiration for this topic came from a few places:

1. Recipe for Disaster by Stacey Ballis (reviewed here). The main character's family is pretty much non-existent, so she considers her closest friends to be her family instead.

2. Glee, as there was recently an episode where Santana's abuela refused to go to her wedding, since she was marrying a woman. Toward the end of the episode, the New Directions were helping with seating arrangements and said they'd need a lot of seats at the family table so they could all be together. I got teary-eyed from that part.

3. Rent, which is where the header for this post comes from. "Let's make a resolution. Let's always stay friends. Though we may have our disputes, this family tree's got deep roots. Friendship is thicker than blood...that depends. Depends on trust. Depends on true devotion. Depends on love. Depends on not denying emotion." ("Happy New Year" from Act II.)

While I'm happy with the family I was born into and the family I married into, I also have some friends whom I consider to be family. My BFF and I always refer to each other as sisters. We go back 28 years almost, so we practically are! We even adopted this thing from a movie I saw recently and now say "sister code" when we want to keep things confidential between us. And since I never had an actual brother, I consider "Will" to be a brother. Our friendship has a brother/sister quality to it. We can get away with teasing each other about little quirks and we share a lot of inside jokes. I even explained this kind of relationship to my husband when I asked him if "Will" could stand up in our wedding. Even though I haven't seen him in six years, it feels like it's been less time than that. Then there's my big brother who lives in Texas, as my dad "adopted" him years ago and the titles just stuck with us over time. He's a nice guy and I enjoy keeping up with him on Facebook. There's also my blog sister, whom I finally got to meet in person last spring. We connected online after she asked to be a guest reviewer and then she finally started her own blog and I thought it would be fun to work with each other in that way. 

Only "siblings" would try to recreate childhood photos, right?

With "Will" in 2003

With my blog sister, Book Mama! (May, 2014)

Some of my close friends are "aunties" to my kids. My kids think that they have a lot of aunts as a result. Aside from my BFF, who also gets this title, and "Will" who is their honorary uncle (or "Cantrunkle," since he's a cantor), there are only a few friends who get to be called "aunt." It's something that was established when my oldest was born.


Some of my kids' "aunties" with my boys when they were younger (back in 2008):

On the other end of things, I have taken on an aunt-like role for some of my friends' kids. One of these kids, I haven't even met yet. That is my blog sister's daughter. She's so adorable and I love sending her things that I know will make her smile. I feel like I know her just based on all her pictures and everything my friend says about her. I sent her a birthday gift recently and my blog sister took a video of her opening the package. (If you go in a little over two minutes, you'll see her finally getting the box open. I'm obsessive with my package taping!) A past co-worker has the cutest little toddler and I can't get enough of her. I am hoping to see her soon so I can give her some of the stuff I've saved up from my daughter. And there's a current co-worker's daughter who is a year younger than my middle child. I've only met her a couple of times and she's really sweet and polite. I love being able to get stuff for her from time to time. Finally, there's my friend's two year-old son. He's so easygoing and now that he's talking, I can't get enough of him. (Of course, I love giving him stuff from my sons, as well as some new things every now and then.) While I have my own nieces and nephews, they're related by marriage and I only see them every so often. They're great kids and I love my oldest child's friendship with his same-aged cousin. 

Certain friendships have either become stronger or have weakened over the years. Some have been back and forth between the two extremes. I may form other connections over time that could become close enough to be practically family. Who knows what the future holds?

Another family I have is at my office. I've been at my job for a little over five years. While there has been a lot of turnover during that time, there are also people who have been there way longer than I have and I aspire to be there that long. I wouldn't say I'm close with each and every person at my organization, but I've also had the chance to get to know some people better, either by working on a project with them or through social activities that go on, such as parties, outings, etc. I've even become friends with the wives of two guys I work with. I've invited several co-workers over for Shabbat meals. I hope to invite more soon. I've brought meals to co-workers who live nearby when they had babies. I even brought one of them a challah when they injured themselves. I've spent more time than I probably should chatting with the receptionist, as she's so sweet and always has interesting stories. There is no other group that I would get up in front of once a year to do a D'var Torah, but I feel at home with my colleagues and comfortable enough to do so. I think now that we have an open office, I am more in tune with what is going on with others who work around me and I have gotten to know them better as a result. I even started a weekly "column" for our Friday Round-Up to allow everyone to get to know each other. I've learned new things about people that way and they've learned new things about me. Having my workplace as an extended "home" has made my time there so far really positive and inspiring.

First day in my new office building...a.k.a. my other house

Who is in your "family?"

Book Review: The Light Between Oceans

My book club had been back and forth about The Light Between Oceans for a while, as it's hard for a group of mothers to fathom the idea of someone's baby being stranded. However, I'm glad we finally got around to reading it, as it was incredibly well-written and thought provoking. I can't stop going over it in my head!

After surviving the war on the Western Front, Tom Sherbourne becomes a lighthouse keeper on a remote island off the coast of Australia in the 1920s. On his trip back to the mainland, he meets a young woman named Isabel and falls for her charm and vivaciousness. Tom and Isabel soon get married and have an idyllic life on the island. That is, until they started wanting to have a family. Unfortunately for Isabel, her first two pregnancies result in miscarriages and her third produces a stillborn. A couple months after her devastating loss, a boat washes ashore with a dead man and a baby who is very much alive. Since they don't know if the baby has a mother, Tom and Isabel decide to keep it. Tom is unsure about this decision at first, but Isabel's past misery convinces him to not report where the baby came from or even that there was a father, regardless of him having passed. Isabel becomes instantly attached to the infant and names her Lucy, while Tom has his moments of bonding with her and also feeling guilty over his decision.

When they go back to the mainland for a visit and for Lucy to meet Isabel's parents, who have lost their sons in the war, they continue to keep up the charade. Then they find out that their decision has ruined someone else's life. This throws everything into a tumult, racking both Tom and Isabel with tremendous guilt while they continue to harbor their secret.

I have a lot to say about this book but don't want to spoil the ending for people who haven't read it yet and were drawn in by the synopsis. So I will put in a spoilers section in case you've read the story and want to discuss or wish to read it at your own risk because you just HAVE to know what happens. Keep in mind, people's comments might contain spoilers, as well.

In general, I really liked the story line and was captivated once I got through all the build-up. I could definitely relate to it as a mother, especially since Lucy reminds me of my own daughter. While there was an abundance of detail involved in describing all the visual effects, I was also able to see everything so clearly in my mind. The characters felt so real, especially given how flawed they were in various ways. While this is a heavier story than most of the ones I've read lately, I really have to give M.L. Stedman a lot of credit for tackling this topic in such a creative and interesting way. It speaks volumes about adoption, in how one doesn't have to give birth (or have genetic ties) to a child in order to love them and receive their love in return. The only other author I could see doing well at writing a book of this caliber is Jodi Picoult. The main conflict reminded me of something she'd come up with. This is M.L. Stedman's first book and I hope she'll write another one. I recently found out that it's going to be a movie starring Michael Fassbender as Tom. Most of the casting seems different than I expected, but I kept picturing Saoirse Ronan as Isabel.


Now for spoilers....


It's not too late to turn back...


Can't say I didn't warn you!


Spoilers:
I was totally surprised by the outcome of the story. When Hannah came to Isabel to offer to give back Lucy if she gave evidence against Tom to have him put away, I thought for sure that Isabel would go with that plan and take Tom down for betraying her (and Lucy). The ending was more depressing, as a result. Had it been written entirely in Hannah's perspective to make both Tom AND Isabel look like kidnappers, I would have felt more sympathy towards her. I felt bad for her and all, but it also seemed like she gave up her baby as dead even though she could have had her rich father send out every ship to look for the boat that her husband had escaped [the mob] in with the baby. And I can't even remember why he took the baby in the boat with him to begin with. I think it was because I was so invested in Isabel's relationship with Lucy that I really wanted her to have a happy ending the most. I was so sad for both her and Tom that this didn't happen. And even though Lucy came back, it was too late for her to see Isabel again. I agree with what Lucy said now that she's a mother...how she'd kill for her baby. Regardless of whether a baby is yours from birth or from adoption or other means, once you have that bond with them, it gives you a fierceness to do something you'd never do in any other type of situation. So I was actually surprised and disappointed that Isabel gave up on Lucy by protecting Tom. I know she was caught in the middle, but he was giving her an out and a chance to be with Lucy, even though he didn't know about Hannah's deal. It's such a gray area throughout the third part of the book and that's what makes it so incredibly well written. I'm sure there are others who will agree or disagree with my thoughts on the ending, and that's what makes it even more interesting and exciting to discuss.

Disclosure of Material Connection:
Some of the links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Regression therapy

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Moma Rock chose the topic: Poop

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

The subject line is not a joke. And you are not imagining things. Moma Rock and I are in the midst of potty training and need some comic relief from the stress of it, so we share random hilarious poop stories. One day, she said that she should have our blog project topic be "poop" and I dared her to go for it. Well, she finally did! So you can have some comic relief too, whether you're having a stressful day, week, month, etc., you've come to the right place. I'm sharing some funny poop stories, videos, etc.

Side note, I choose not to say the "S word" and will always call it "poop." (Like in Billy Madison when the old guy calls it poop and they find that hilarious.)

*Back in 1996, I would go to this midnight theater open mic every Saturday. It was called Theater of Ted. One weekend, I was away for the High Holidays. When I came back, I found out that a girl had pooped in a bucket in front of everyone at "Ted." She was making a statement about this guy licking chocolate sauce off a girl's leg the week before. The following week, everyone decided to tell their craziest poop stories. I was weirdly sad that I missed the performance everyone was talking about. Then I found out who had done it (and, of course, called her "poop girl") and years later she was in my Abnormal Psychology class. Ironic or what?

*There's an author at Chick Lit Central today who has a funny story to share related to poop. Stop by and check it out. (And enter to win her book.)

*On my first cruise in early 1999, a bunch of us 20-somethings were up at the dance club on the last night when someone announced that there was a giant piece of poo in one of the toilets of the men's room. It looked like a sandwich, it was that huge. Naturally, everyone had to go check it out. It was the highlight of the evening.

*We were trying to get our kids to stop using potty language at the dinner table. One time, my younger son took it very literally and said "I have to make potty language."

*Whenever someone would fart, my friend's dad would say "Who pooped?" in a funny accent. My friend and I always found this hilarious.

*When my family would go to Pompano Beach, Florida, every winter, we'd drive by this sewage plant that smelled awful. My friend's dad called it the "doody and pee pee factory." He'd joke about having picnics there. When I was older, he'd ask me if I told my husband about the factory.

*Speaking of the word "doody," did it come to mean poop after Howdy Doody had been created? I mean, why would you name a famous TV puppet after a word that means crap? I also remember in one of the Indiana Jones movies that there was an actress named Alison Doody. Why would she want that for her last name? Apparently, it hasn't kept her from getting acting jobs.

*Another word for poop is "scat." I find that funny because "scat" is also a style of music. I wonder if Scatman John would change his name if he knew this. And isn't John another name for toilet? Hmmm... Unfortunately, he passed on a long time ago so it's a bit too late to change his name now.

*I love in Waiting For Guffman how Blaine, Missouri is the stool capital of the US. Go to 1:37 in the video if you want to snicker a bit. Here's the stool song from "Red, White, and Blaine."




*This is a funny MadTV parody of a UPS commercial. Don't mind the poor dubbing quality though. For all you fans of The Mindy Project, you'll definitely recognize someone from there.



*This video is just hilarious. If you're as immature as I am, you'll be watching it over and over...



*Of course, no post about poop is complete without Mr. Hankey!

"Sisters are doin' it for themselves..."

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for over a year, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: You know the phrase, he's a man's man? Are you a woman's woman?

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

The concept of being a "woman's woman" made me think of the song in my subject line.





Anyway, in order to get an idea of where I was going with this, I first looked up a definition of "man's man."

Merriam Webster defines it as "a man who is liked and admired by other men." So would that be the equivalent of a #guycrush? There was a full definition underneath that one: "A man noted or admired for traditionally masculine interests and activities."

The definition seems pretty broad. If that were the case for being a "woman's woman," I'd definitely have this in the bag. I have been praised affectionately by other women. Some of that was apparent today after an author posted an interview I did at her blog. Some of the comments on that post were:

"You’re renowned, m’dear (in a good way)."

"She is funny, warm, smart, and so lovely. And she writes a heck of a story, too! I absolutely love her."

This is mainly in relation to what I do with Chick Lit Central. I'm all about featuring, supporting, and celebrating women writers. I've also connected with women all around the world who love to read as much as I do. Hearing good things from them about me or my blog always brightens my day. Recently, I introduced my mom to one of my reader friends (they're close in age and I think they'd get along well in general) and she went on to tell my mom how well she raised me and that she thinks I'm a gem and admires some qualities about me.

One of the highest forms of praise is when someone tells me they bought a book because of my review or recommendation. It speaks volumes about the impact I've had through this blog. Believe it or not, I'm rather modest and I blush at even the slightest hint of praise. Even at my office, when someone thanks me for just doing what I'm supposed to do or says something kind to me, I get all shy about it. (And then I brag to my husband about it, of course!) Just doing this to illustrate a point about the topic is totally stepping out of my comfort zone!

In terms of having traditionally feminine interests and activities, I don't know if it's something I'm admired for, as I share these interests with so many other women.

*I love watching chick flicks (some of my favorites are listed here) and girly TV shows. I recently did a post about three current favorites. Aside from those, I'm a devoted fan of The Mindy Project (I won an autographed script last winter!!!) and I just started watching Younger and already love it. I also watch Orange is the New Black and Orphan Black, but those are gritty dramas.

MINDY and CHRIS touched this at one point in time!!!

*I wear dresses and skirts almost all the time. Part of that has to do with being Modern Orthodox Jewish. I don't like wearing pants anymore except for jeans to lounge around in on weekends.

*I like baking a lot. I don't cook main dishes as much as I bake desserts. I'm sometimes just happy to whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Other times, I like making indulgent cakes and pies.

*In Judaism, there are three mitzvahs that women are obligated to fulfill. I can proudly say I do all three, which are baking challah, lighting Shabbat (and holiday) candles, and going to the mikvah.

*As a mother, I like talking about my kids a lot and sharing both serious and humorous articles about parenting with all my mother friends. Of course, this experience makes me act like a mother to my friends, as well. I think I was doing that long before I had kids. Aside from nagging (I'm allowed to admit it, okay?!?), I also make sure my friends are taken care of.

There are also ways I don't live up to this definition....

*My fashion sense was left behind about 10 years ago. I still wear clothes I got when I was in my 20s and even some items from my college days. I shop at the thrift store and am happy if the label is from a well known store or designer because even if it's an older item, I still enjoy the fact that I saved a fortune on it. (For example, a few years ago, I got this Ann Taylor sweater dress for $10.)

*I hate shoe shopping and barely ever buy myself shoes.

*I don't like reality TV so I don't keep up with the Kardashians and could care less what the Real Housewives are up to or who the Bachelor selected in the rose ceremony.

*As nice and fun as they are, I only get manicures and pedicures a few times a year, if that. And usually just manicures since no one sees my feet. I tend to smudge the polish even after I think they're totally dry, so that just annoys me. I recently had a deal from Certifikid to get one with my daughter. Of course, she wanted the polish removed later that day and one of my nails completely got smudged even when it was well past being dry.

Mother and daughter manis

Are YOU a woman's woman?