Who says you can't go home?

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

This week, Moma Rock chose the topic: Tell us about your hometown, the place where you grew up.

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

I grew up in Buffalo Grove, Illinois. Since I was on the Lake County side, I went to Stevenson High School. I didn't stray too far from the area as an adult, aside from a few years in Itasca when I was in college (during holiday and summer breaks). I eventually moved into my late maternal grandma's condo (in Arlington Heights, even though it was right by Buffalo Grove HS) and then to a townhouse just down the road. I grew up in a neighborhood called The Crossings. It was circular, so I could ride my bike around and never get lost. I'd always go to the park behind my house, as well. There was a clubhouse with a pool and sometimes we'd get a membership for the summer. Other years, we'd just go to my grandma's pool a lot. Some friends of ours currently live in that neighborhood, so it was strange to be back there the one time we visited them. The park behind my old house had changed so much that I didn't even recognize it! Anyway, I wanted to share about some other places I remember from growing up in BG. Some places are still there and others haven't been around in ages.

At The Ground Round

Frank and Dino's, the deli by True Value on Buffalo Grove Road and Dundee Road. I used to go to birthday parties there a lot. The Ground Round on Dundee was also a popular birthday spot with a clown named Bingo who led all the games. It's now a Walker Brother's pancake house.

Dippy's, the ice cream place in Plaza Verde. I don't even know what was so great about it, but they had soft serve and it was kid friendly. I think it had a circus theme.

Alcott Center: I remember attending pre-school there. When I was older, I'd go there for art classes. When I had my first child, I took him there for a baby music and movement class.





Ridge Plaza: When I was a kid, there was Ridge Cinemas, Arcadia (a cool gift store), Sweatworks (where you make paint designs on shirts) and Flip Side records. I know Portillo's is still around, but they made a different building for it. I remember the old style Portillo's better and would go there before or after movies.

The Plaster Hang-Up, which was in the shopping center on BG Road where Dominick's is now located. It was a place where you could paint some plaster creation. There was also Sunshine Crafts. I think it was located in Emmerich Park. I remember that the mother of a woman I worked with at Yen Yen owned it. I know I had one of my birthday parties there.

My birthday party at Sunshine Crafts

Downtown Historic Long Grove: We lived nearby and could practically walk or take our bikes there when we got older. They had cute craft shops. I loved going into the general store and sampling their dips. The Peppermint Stick ice cream parlor was great too. Almost every day after school, my mom would take us to Lollipop's and Nickelby's so my sister could get more stickers for her collection.

Yen Yen: We ate there all the time and my sister and I got part-time jobs there eventually. Even after working there, we'd still go all the time for meals. I eventually got my friends and husband hooked on it too.

Wiener Take All: When my BFF and I would meet up while our moms were getting their hair done at Hair Sensations, we would go for lunch at Wiener Take All. They had really good fries and one of the guys working there looked like John Travolta.

Buffalo Grove Days: I know it's coming up soon, for those of you who still live nearby. It's just your average carnival with craft booths and all the good BG restaurants as food vendors.

Buffalo Grove Theater: Originally, they showed independent films at a regular price. Then they eventually became a second-run theater. We'd go to movies there all the time. It was fun to joke about the ads that showed in a slideshow on the screen while we were waiting for the movie to start.

Buffalo (notice the lack of an "s" at the end): It's a great ice cream parlor that has really good grilled cheese sandwiches too. I couldn't go there without running into someone I know. I remember going there with a platonic guy friend for ice cream in the middle of winter one time and running into my first boyfriend (not all that long after we had broken up, but we were still on good terms). I also would run into my maternal grandma there when she was still able to get out and about. Sometimes we'd go there together for meals. I have so many fun memories of Buffalo. One of my favorites is when I was with a group of girlfriends and we saw a guy I worked with at Yen Yen. Some of my friends decided to go up to him, but they ended up going up to a different guy and the rest of us were laughing and screaming.
"Will" thinks it should be called "Buffalo's," but there really is no "s" at the end and I stand my ground on that!

The memorable night with some girlfriends at Buffalo

Mark Drugs: It was near where I lived and I liked going there for the latest teen magazines or to get my photos developed.

Willow Stream Park: When my family and I moved to a different house prior to the Itasca move, we were right by Willow Stream Park. I was there almost every day, either with my dog or on my bike. I'd take picnic lunch and a good book and sit on a bench by the pool area, so I could hear the music being played. I also went to that pool a lot when I went to BG Day Camp as a kid. I originally saw Blind Man's Bluff perform there. It's also the place where my husband and I first said "I love you" to each other.

Lou Malnati's: Definitely a staple of Buffalo Grove. I had my Sweet 16 there, as well as my bridal shower. No other Chicago deep dish stuffed pizza compares (even if it is good, it's not as good as Lou's). The restaurant that was there previously was called The Buffalo House and there's still this giant buffalo on one wall. They changed the sign under the buffalo to say "Buffa-Lou Malnati's."

First dance recital

Kassel Dance Studio: When I was little, my sister and I would take dance lessons at Kassel. It was also located in Plaza Verde. After class, we'd usually end up going to Yen Yen for dinner. There was also another Chinese restaurant next to the dance studio called Tao Yien (I think that's the name). When I was in sixth grade, I took dance lessons from the mother of one of the guys in my class. A lot of other kids around my age also took lessons from her.

That's all I can think of for now. If you live in BG or lived there at one point, feel free to comment with your own favorite places and memories.

52 Stories: A Wild Heart

Inspired by One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern, I've decided to ask people some thought provoking questions about themselves, as I feel that everyone has a story to tell. If you're just joining me on this journey today, please check out the previous posts from this series, as well.

This storyteller posted some comments on my book blog a while back and seemed friendly, so I invited her to participate in 52 Stories. I'm just jealous that she lives in the heart of the country music scene!

Name you'd like to go by: Ashley Schneider
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Nashville, TN

What is an experience that is legendary for you?
Immediately, the concerts I have seen with my dad come to mind. Classic rockers of a different generation who can still put on an amazing show. Watching my dad sing every word to each song preformed by The Who, rocking out in the July heat at a U2 concert, witnessing the lifelong Bruce Springsteen fans lift their fists in unison, as if in a cult, to specific songs and so many more. Being in the moment with him, seeing the lights and feeling the music - you only get a handful of chances to do that and I jump at each and every one.

What is your guilty pleasure?
MTV reality shows. I am probably outside of their target demographic, but I still watch a good number of their shows. Not all of them, though - a girl's gotta have standards.

What is something you've never done but you would like to do?
Be a diving girl in a diving horse performance - like in Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken.

If you could give someone one of your favorite things as a gift, what would it be and why?
Hair powder - makes dirty hair and really dirty hair acceptable. Those Victorian period people were on to something. See, trends really do come back.

What is something you did that changed someone's life?
Probably singing a solo in high school, pretty sure a lot of people decided not to sign up for choir after that.

What part of your personality is now extinct?
I'd like to say that I am not nearly as bossy, but I received a text this morning that said "Someone has on their bossy pants today." so....

What is one thing that you find really funny?
When people fall down (unless they're elderly).

Tell me one thing you love about yourself (or a gift you'd like to get yourself, where money is not an issue):
I like that I am up for anything and will try pretty much anything (legal) once. I love being active and adventurous.

What TV show, book or movie is most like your life?
The Mindy Project on Fox. Mindy Kaling wrote her character "Mindy" brilliantly. Any woman in her 30s with a successful career, crazy dating life and hilarious friends can relate. She is hysterically funny and so relatable. You are either Mindy or you have a best friend just like her.

What is something that not many people know about you?
I hate opening ziplock bags because if the knuckles on my thumbs touch is gives me the willies.

Scared sterile?

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

This week, Froggie chose the topic: Use this video from CNN.com as your inspiration for this coming week's post...http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2013/06/15/nr-blackwell-kosik-chicago-teen-pregnancy-ad.cnn.html

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

A while back, Froggie posted about another issue related to teen pregnancy and I came up with a different, and possibly more effective solution. This time around, I want to give a round of applause to the marketing team who came up with this ad campaign and the brave teenage boys who modeled for the ads. I have to wonder what they were thinking when the ad execs told them their stomachs would be photo-shopped to look pregnant. But hey, it's money, right? If people are willing to announce on TV that they have herpes or a yeast infection, a guy can model for a pregnancy ad. I just hope they live in a different state so that they don't get teased for it. (I recently found out that the kid actors on Roseanne would get teased at school for something they said or did on the show. Teens are brutal!)

Anyway, back to the point....I think the message that teen pregnancy is not "cool" needs to be shoved in the face of every teenager out there. I've seen the outcomes of teen pregnancy, both on TV and in person. The guy doesn't always take responsibility either, leaving the girl to make tough decisions for themselves and their baby. Maybe if guys realized that they can't just get off the hook that easily, they'd be more careful in the first place. It would be nice to have some sort of "Scarlet Letter" system for guys who refused to take responsibility.

I know there are "Scared Straight" programs to get kids not to do drugs. Why not have them to stave off teen pregnancy and teach about abstinence. Find ways to really scare teenagers, as apparently watching a birthing video in health class isn't doing the trick. I remember how reading a Sweet Valley High book about a girl trying cocaine and then dying shortly after. That put me off drugs before I even reached my pre-teens. So maybe starting some scare tactic program prior to when kids are in junior high would do the trick? Get them when they're still vulnerable about everything. Teach more in sex ed class than how to handle getting your period.

In the video, it mentioned that the ads were tried in another state and the teen pregnancy rate went down. I really hope they have the same effect in Illinois and that they'll become more widespread as a result. Teen pregnancy is not as glamorous as MTV makes it out to be and it's time kids and teenagers learned the truth. I don't care how brutal it has to be....if it can prevent a baby from being flushed down the toilet or thrown in the garbage at prom, it will be all worth it!

52 Stories: Southern charm

Inspired by One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern, I've decided to ask people some thought provoking questions about themselves, as I feel that everyone has a story to tell. If you're just joining me on this journey today, please check out the previous posts from this series, as well.

I met this storyteller through Facebook when she started posting on my book blog group a lot. We e-mail back and forth about Jodi Picoult and Nicholas Sparks books. She's very nice and I hope you will enjoy getting to know her.

Name: April Vaughn
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Lafayette, GA

What is an experience that is legendary for you?
When I graduated at Lafayette High School in 2004.

What is your guilty pleasure?
You may think that this is funny or whatever, but my guilty pleasure is books....I just love to read about other people's stories....because like you said,everybody has a story to tell...and I love books...I don't care who the author is, just as long as there is a good story to remember.

What is something you've never done but you would like to do?
The one thing that I've never done but have always wanted to do was to travel to every city in all of the 50 states...or at least most of them. I've never done it and I'm aware as I think about it right now that it would take alotta gas and alotta money to be able to do that...but that's what I've always wanted to do.

If you could give someone one of your favorite things as a gift, what would it be and why?
It would have to be one of my favorite shirts because of the kind things that they do for me.

What is something you did that changed someone's life?
The thing that I did to change someone's life was when I become friends with a friend of mine for about three years and it really changed her life for the better.

What part of your personality is now extinct?
My personality is extinct now because my I have grown out of my childhood personality and have grown up into a more mature adulthood personality....

What is one thing that you find really funny?
The one thing that I find really funny is when (especially in wedding home videos) someone is dancin' on the dance floor and they're gettin' their groove on and then all of a sudden they lose their balance and then they slip and fall on their asses....to me, that's always funny....it gets me ev'rytime...I laugh so hard that I have tears coming down....LOL!

Tell me one thing you love about yourself (or a gift you'd like to get yourself, where money is not an issue):
The one thing that I love about myself is my fingers (especially when my fingernails are painted a light pink, or even baby blue).

What TV show, book or movie is most like your life?
The TV show that most like my life would have to be One Tree Hill. The book thats most like my life would have to be The Moon and More by Sarah Dessen. The movie that is most like me would have to be Hope Floats.

What is something that not many people know about you?
The thing that most people don't know about me is that I'm afraid of the dark and that I can't see good in the dark.

If his last name has a certain word in it...stay away!

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

This week, goodvibrations44 chose the topic (her first time picking one): The Worst Date you've ever been on!!

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

I could have sworn I had written about this date before on my blog, but can’t find record of it anywhere, so I’m glad I have the opportunity to write about it now.

When I was a freshman in high school, one of my friends decided to introduce me to a guy she was friends with, as we’re both Jewish. I was looking to go to the BBYO (B'nai Brith Youth Organization) Invite dance, so I took her up on the…um…opportunity. The guy called me and we seemed to get along pretty well by phone. He asked if I wanted to go to the Invite dance with him, even though he wasn’t in BBYO (apparently, he knew about it anyway). We made plans to meet up ahead of time for a date. We were going to see Sleeping with the Enemy. (How fitting, even though I never would have considered sleeping with him. Yuck!)

So the first time we met in person was to see this movie. It was so incredibly awkward from the get-go. I didn’t find him all that attractive. He looked like an ugly version of Edward Furlong in his Terminator 2 days, even though that movie hadn’t come out yet and I wouldn’t make the analogy till I saw it later that summer. Then I had to suffer through watching this movie with him, considering that he kept trying to put his hands on my legs and it was super uncomfortable. After the movie, we were waiting for our parents to pick us up, so we walked around the record store next to the theater. I swear some girls who knew him from school were giving me pitying looks. I should have called off the dance plans right there! Of course, I didn’t do that yet and ended up kicking myself for waiting on it. A few days later, after already buying a dress for the dance, I found out that he was also talking to another friend of mine, trying to hook up with her, and telling her I was a prude for not letting him touch my leg at the movie theater. Okay, so I was a prude, but if the date had been with my crush at the time, I would have not had a problem with roving hands, so-to-speak. I was pissed about this and called him later, telling him I no longer would be attending the dance with him. (I found out that he had only asked me to go with him so he could hook up with someone else there. I feel sorry for whomever that someone else is.)

Instead of going to the dance, I hung out with some other girls from my BBG group at one of their houses. I found out from several other girls that he asked them to the dance too, but they rejected his offer right away. That made me feel soooo much better about myself...NOT!

Around this same time, I had become close with a friend I had met at a NFTY (National Federation of Temple Youth) retreat and making fun of him became an inside joke between us. Given that his last name had the word “ass” in it, you can imagine we had a field day. We made fun of other things about him, which went as far as making up embarrassing diseases for him and then making up songs about such diseases. We also added words to his last name to make it funnier. I think humor helped a lot in this situation and allowed me to feel better about things right away. In the meantime, he ruined my enjoyment of Sleeping with the Enemy (it would have been a good movie if I had seen it with some female friends or even my family). I also was less trusting of guys throughout high school, even going as far as being mean to guys after they gave the impression that they were interested in me.

Looking back on it now, if Facebook had been around during my freshman year of high school, I would have had a field day ripping this guy to shreds and also lamenting about the situation in a dramatic way. (I’ve seen how certain girls I know in high school post on Facebook and I probably would have written similar posts at the time.)

I've been on some other lame dates during my single days, but this one will always take the cake!

52 Stories: Short, but sweet

Inspired by One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern, I've decided to ask people some thought provoking questions about themselves, as I feel that everyone has a story to tell. If you're just joining me on this journey today, please check out the previous posts from this series, as well.

I met this storyteller through my book blog, as she participates in the related Facebook group a lot. Her answers may be short here, but they are definitely sweet.

Name: Holli Jackson Guin
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Location: Southern coast of North Carolina.

What is an experience that is legendary for you?
An experience that was legendary for me was being pregnant & delivering my son via C-section five years ago, & being happily married to my husband for 11.5 years.

What is something you did that changed someone's life?
I married my husband who is my best friend.

What is your guilty pleasure?
My guilty pleasure is Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

If you could give someone one of your favorite things as a gift, what would it be and why?
I would give a bookstore gift card to someone who is a book loving person, because that is what i would want for myself.

What is something you've never done but you would like to do?
I always wanted to go skiing, but have never been.

Child of the 80s

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

This week, I chose the topic: The 80s

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

I was partially inspired by some posts from Buzzfeed and partially by thinking about why the 80s was such an iconic decade. No one does memes about the 60s or 70s and the 90s are starting to come into play more now that kids from the early half of that decade are becoming adults and wanting to reminisce.

Before I go on, here are the Buzzfeed posts, in case you wanted to get all nostalgic with me:
53 Things Only 80s Girls Can Understand
50 Things Only 80s Kids Can Understand

Instead of writing some long-winded post about everything 80s (trust me, I could go on all day), I am going to share some top five lists. These are written from the perspective of my personality in the 80s, even though I still like most of these things now.

Top Five Favorite 80s TV Shows
1. Full House (Still my favorite. See a post I wrote about it a while back.)
2. Degrassi High (See my tribute.)
3. Punky Brewster (It's cheesy to watch as an adult though...)
4. Family Ties (I could watch Michael J. Fox recite the alphabet over and over and be fine with it.)
5. Rags to Riches (Short lived, but adorable musical TV show.)

Top Five Favorite 80s Movies
1. Sing (I can't watch this movie without a huge grin on my face the entire time. BTW, the description on IMDB is hilarious! Here are my reasons for loving this movie.)
2. Dirty Dancing (Aside from the fact that I look like Jennifer Grey when she was in that movie, it's just such a great film and I can't get enough of it. I used to have such a crush on Patrick Swayze too.)
3. Girls Just Want to Have Fun (Similar premise to Dirty Dancing, taking place in modern day Chicago, but this one came first and it features the ever-so-sexy Lee Montgomery.)
4. Back to the Future (Check out my tribute. I was telling my older son about it this week and I think he's interested in seeing it.)
5. Moving Violations (This post says it all. HILARIOUS! I wish the movies that came out now would learn a thing or two from MV.)

I was going to put The Princess Bride on the list but I didn't like it the first time I saw it and only started to appreciate it when I got to college.

Fun trivia, the hypochondriac in Moving Violations played Marty's sister in Back to the Future.


Top Five Favorite 80s Singers/Bands
1. Madonna (I was obsessed!)
2. Michael Jackson (The first concert I ever went to was for his Thriller tour. Here's more about my MJ history.)
3. New Kids on the Block (I got to meet Joey McIntyre when I was an adult. He was my favorite New Kid. See pic below.)
4. Tiffany (I used to sit on the balcony of our timeshare in Florida and listen to her music while people watching on the beach. It was cool to see her cameo appearance on How I Met Your Mother....the episode with "Sandcastles in the Sand.")
5. Whitney Houston (I got to see her in concert the summer before fifth grade. I also made my Barbies have weddings to her music. How odd that they'd walk down the aisle to "Saving All My Love For You," now that I know it's about an affair. Oops!)

How sad that two people on this list have since passed away.

Left to right: Me, Joey, my sister

Top Five Favorite 80s Songs
1. "Material Girl," Madonna (I made a project in third grade and did a theme song for it parodying this song. That's all I need to say.)
2. "Let's Hear it for the Boy," Deniece Williams (Cute song. Cuter video. Now it makes me think of "Let's Go to the Mall.")
3. "Something About You," Level 42 (I just liked the way it sounded. It has such an 80s feel that carries over even to the present day.)
4. "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes (Because I picture Patrick Swayze wrinkling his nose toward the end...but really, such a good song!)
5. "The Power of Love," Huey Lewis and the News (It will always remind me of Back to the Future.)

Top 5 Favorite 80s Toys
1. Care Bears (I think they still look the same, but it's like more were created so they could do variations on the color purple and lollipops.)
2. Cabbage Patch Kids (Remember the Koosas?!?)
3. Strawberry Shortcake (Back when fashion wasn't such a concern.)
4. Charmkins (toys and jewelry at the same time!)
5. Nintendo (the original version)

I also loved playing with Barbies but those came out long before the 80s.

I was going to talk about books but most of the books I read in the 80s ranged from child to adolescent-themed. I went through a "Berenstain Bears" phase when I was a kid and loved "Amelia Bedelia," as well. When I was in elementary school, I devoured Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume books. Some favorites were Ellen Tebbits and Ramona Quimby, Age 8 (Cleary) as well as Deenie, Blubber and Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself (Blume). Then came "Sweet Valley High" and "The Babysitter's Club." Around the same time, I became addicted to Sunfire Romance novels. I rounded off the 80s with V.C. Andrews' novels. Her stories saved my sanity in junior high and I became addicted from that point on.

I'd love to hear your favorites from the 80s!

52 Stories: Enjoy the humor of the situation

Inspired by One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern, I've decided to ask people some thought provoking questions about themselves, as I feel that everyone has a story to tell. If you're just joining me on this journey today, please check out the previous posts from this series, as well.

I met this storyteller through his partner, who is an author my book blog features on a monthly basis. I primarily worked with him to get the monthly columns put together and enjoyed also getting to know him in the meantime. I figured that it was his turn in the spotlight and I learned a lot of interesting new things about him. Stuff I never would have expected. His ability to see humor in everything reminds me of a Barenaked Ladies' song that I referenced in the subject line.

Name you'd like to go by: Gary Edwards
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Location: Saugatuck,MI

What is an experience that is legendary for you? 
Legendary I am not sure of. I think the thing I am most proud of is the fact that I have been sober for 18 years. I feel it is something of pride and I always like to help others. I never hide the fact that I am an alcoholic and I think it shows strength and courage. I have learned to be comfortable in my own skin and to be able to shine and add humor to each day. We are all insecure about something and learning to live with that. Being confident and focus on helping others gets me out of my head and allows me to be true to myself.

What is your guilty pleasure? 
Sweets!! Ice Cream, Cookies, Caramel Corn and yes, pie!

What is something you've never done but you would like to do? 
I would love to go to Bora Bora and stay at one of the huts that are on the water. I would also love to go to Brazil. For adventure I would love to zip line! I also for some reason think it would be great for Wade and I to have a reality show. I think the reality shows are so negative and I would love to be able to be on one and make people laugh!

If you could give someone one of your favorite things as a gift, what would it be and why? 
I would give the gift of laughter. At the end of the day things mean nothing, and happiness means everything.

What is something you did that changed someone's life? 
Helped friends stop drinking and smoking

What part of your personality is now extinct? 
Being negative

What is one thing that you find really funny? 
I really always try to find humor in everything, because that is funny! I kinda make up weird scenarios all day.

Tell me one thing you love about yourself (or a gift you'd like to get yourself, where money is not an issue): 
I like that each year I become a little more comfortable with me , my inner self.

What TV show, book or movie is most like your life? 
Modern Family for TV and well books all of my partner, Wade Rouse's books, because I am in them.

What is something that not many people know about you? 
I am tough and I cut a tree down with a chain saw. When I garden I get dirty, real dirty. I can fix just about anything. Most people think I have people do things for me, but I love to cut cost and am a do-it yourself kinda guy.

Pretty awful

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

This week, Moma Rock chose the topic:
Do you think women should be fired for being too attractive? In Iowa, it's the law.

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

A while back, I heard about the situation with the dentist firing his assistant for being attractive. I guess it was recently revisited in the news after it had been taken to court. I can't seem to wrap my mind around this, no matter how many ways I look at it. I don't get how it is fair to the assistant in any way, shape or form. She was not pursuing a relationship with the dentist and it wasn't her fault that he found her attractive. I doubt she was dressing inappropriately for her job or seducing him at all. And according to the article linked above, she wasn't doing anything wrong to cause her to lose her job. The dentist's wife felt threatened by her attractiveness. That's all there was to it.

I could look at this situation from the view of a jealous spouse, but even then, I feel I would come up empty-handed. My husband has worked with attractive women before, but I trust him and know he's not going to chase after a co-worker, no matter how pretty she is. Our marriage is stronger than that. And while my office is mostly a female environment, I do work with men, as well. My husband jokes about me becoming attracted to the few men at my office, but he knows that would never happen. My crushes are on hot celebrities anyway. And seeing that I'm not working in Hollywood or on Broadway, he really has nothing to worry about.

In any case, the other side of the coin is the man's ability to keep it in his pants, so to speak. I recently read an article written by an Orthodox Jewish man, pleading women to dress more modestly because he is weak and can't control his attraction to them when they don't. There are certain aspects of Orthodox Judaism that I believe in and act upon, such as keeping Kosher and observing Shabbat and holidays. However, aside from Shabbat and holidays, I do not cover my hair unless I am around my brother-in-law. And I only do that because I would feel weird not covering my hair around him. I don't know why that is different from guys in our neighborhood, but my brother-in-law is Frum and most of my community is Modern Orthodox. I know women who are married and don't believe in covering their hair at all, even on Shabbat. To each their own though. I also will wear short sleeves in the summer because I can't stand being hot. I don't wear shorts anymore, but that was a personal preference and not dictated to me by anyone else. I'll wear skirts and pants, or dresses. What I do is for my own personal level of physical comfort and not to potentially seduce another man. The one thing that doesn't sit right with me is how some Orthodox men refuse to listen to a woman sing because of the potential of them being seduced away from their wives. I have a hard time buying into that. I love some male singing voices, but I'm not going to leave my husband for a really good singer. Maybe that's what separates women from men....the ability to resist such temptation. Even so, my husband listens to female singers and I don't see him suddenly running away to go off with any of those singers.

What all this comes down to is that women are essentially being punished because men can't control their desires. Women are being asked to wear long sleeves in 90-degree weather or getting fired from their jobs for being too pretty. Even if we did dress more modestly, men could still be attracted to our faces. I don't see us becoming a society where women have to cover every part of their body except their eyes. I can't even fathom wearing a burqua. And if singing is a temptation, what if we have a really pretty speaking voice. Are we expected to get surgery on our larynx so that men will be able to control their urges even more? Should we even talk to men at all for fear that anything we say could be taken as a flirtation?!? I'm sorry that men are such weak creatures, but I have higher expectations for the ones I know and love (this includes my sons for when they are older). And I don't see why a woman's essence should be smothered because of these weaknesses.