We'll always have "Seinfeld"

It's the dawning of a new era, as our blog project group has changed by one member. As a result, we are starting Blog Project 3.0. The newest member is goodvibrations44, a friend of Moma Rock's, who seems really nice and easygoing. I look forward to reading what she has to say.

To stay in the rotation we already had going, this week was Froggie's turn to pick a topic:
Last November I listened to the book "365 Thank You" which is about a man who decided to write 365 thank you notes and how it changed his life. The topic for this week is: Write a thank you note to someone who would least expect it.

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Goodvibrations44
Moma Rock

A few months ago, I spent a week writing thank you e-mails to people. I wrote one per day and got some wonderful responses back. This time, I've chosen someone I never thought I'd write a thank you note to, but I think it is warranted. Here goes....

To my first boyfriend,

I know it sounds odd and quite out-of-the-blue to be thanking you 17 years after we parted ways as a couple. However, I think some things should be said, as I probably have never thanked you for these things before.

As you may (or may not) know, I was scared of guys before I met you. I liked guys and flirted whenever I had the chance, but if a guy showed me any attention beyond flirting, I couldn't handle it. I don't know if I felt overwhelmed or didn't trust their motives or got bored of the chase turning into something else, but having attention from guys freaked me out. I wasn't all that nice about it either. And then I met you and something changed. I don't know what it was, but even on our first date (that involved driving all over the place looking for 24-hour diners on Christmas Eve....what else are two Jews gonna do?!?) I just felt so comfortable around you. Maybe talking on the phone a lot up to that point helped things. Our conversations just felt so natural and easygoing. I probably sounded like a dork thinking that "Zombie" by Cranberries was called "In Your Head" and asking if the Bulls would ever play against the UNC Tarheels. Yet I felt okay saying those dorky things in your presence.

I don't understand how the fates aligned so well for us to meet in the first place. We met on a Seinfeld newsgroup and just were e-mailing about Arvid from Head of the Class being on an episode, and suddenly it turned into these e-mail conversations and we found all these coincidences. You could have been some 50 year-old guy living in Montana, but it worked out that you were only a few years older than me, Jewish, and living in the northwest Chicago suburbs. Really, what are the odds?!? You didn't even look like I was expecting you to look, but I didn't even have a clear image in my head. However, I found you attractive and that was the icing on the cake for me. And most importantly, you were funny. (I'm sure you still are funny, but it's not like we're sharing jokes anymore.)

What I'm trying to get around to saying is that I couldn't have asked for a better first relationship. It was a stepping stone for me, giving me confidence in myself and my abilities to talk to guys. After being with you, I formed some great platonic relationships with some guy friends. I also learned from my mistakes in regards to what to expect from relationships. Therefore, I apologize for being demanding and clingy. I'm impressed that you "put up" with me for as long as you did. I appreciate that you told me I was craving security by being in a relationship because it made me think of how to enjoy being single during the times I actually was single. And while we probably should have broken up months before we actually did, I am glad you tried to make things work until it became a mutual decision. It allowed us to part amicably (even though I am sorry for anything hurtful I said to you in the following months) and stay friends (in terms of being able to keep in touch occasionally).

I can't thank you enough for helping me create my first website, as well as the one for the V.C. Andrews Club and teaching me basic html skills. I've met some great people because of this. The internet account you set me up with caused me to meet one of my platonic guy friends (see the previous paragraph) and I have now become good friends with his wife, as a result. I also met a close friend from college because of the V.C. Andrews club, as well as a few other friends I've stayed in contact with over the years.

I also have you to thank for helping me focus on Judaism after a crazy first semester of college. I was lonely when I got to school and would do anything to have friends. If this meant accompanying said friends to all their Christian group meetings and gatherings and then being scrutinized for my beliefs and constantly witnessed to, then so be it. However, when you and I started talking about Judaism, it reminded me that I shouldn't be turning my back on my faith just because I was of the minority amongst my friends. I realized that true friends wouldn't tell each other what to believe in terms of religion and would support each other's beliefs. I stopped hanging out with those friends as much as I had been and started hanging out with friends who also didn't like being preached to. I also embraced Judaism more and taught my new friends about it, but just for their own interest. I respect when someone is committed to and passionate about their faith, but I don't appreciate when people try to push their beliefs on me. Being with you was a huge wake-up call to this fact.

Finally....thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for convincing me to watch Friends. I still love that show and enjoyed the times we used to watch it together. Because I got into Friends, I became close with a friend I met as a result of being a fan of that show. I might not have ever met her if not for that connection. I may have started watching it at some point down the road, but I'm not sure if the timing would have been the same.

I don't know that I will share this note with you directly, but if you find it here and read it, just know that I've changed a lot over the years and some of these changes were influenced by you. I don't think that we would have ever started such a relationship had we met in this day and age (if we were both single), but everything happens for a reason. I like to think that back in 1994, the stars aligned to cause us to meet and to allow me to experience a positive romantic relationship (for my first time dating). I'm definitely thankful for that.

No matter what direction our lives take us going forward and how sporadically we e-mail, we'll always have Seinfeld.

Sincerely,
M