Not to overreact or anything....

Sometimes I only get the chance to blog once a week. And since I can't always get up the motivation to think of a topic, it's nice to have other friends to blog with so we can take turns. I enjoy being challenged to write about stuff that might not normally come to mind and also reading everyone else's thoughts on the same topic. Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about a year now, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic:
Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

It's hard not to immediately think of Kelly Clarkson when I hear this phrase. While I was considering taking a humorous angle to discuss what it's like to have a three year-old and all the mood swings that go along with it (both hers and mine), I realized that wasn't what is really "killing" me these days. In fact, she's one of the bright spots in my day and all she has to do is talk! No, this is something a bit heavier, so brace yourselves.

This has been, perhaps, the longest summer of my life. And I spend most of it the same way I spend the rest of the year....working. So it's not like I'm spending endless days at home. It's mainly to do with the war that is going on in the Middle East. You'd think it wouldn't affect me as an American, but it affects me a lot as I support Israel. I may have mentioned it before, but I was there in 2002 for Birthright. It was an amazing experience that shaped who I am as a Jew nowadays. Oddly enough, even with bad Middle Eastern relations going on even back then, I felt safer than I did on the "L" in Chicago. Then again, I was on a bus with an Israeli army soldier during most of the trip. And we avoided areas that could possibly come under attack.

Where am I going with this, you might ask? Well, every time I hear something bad said about Israel, I feel personally attacked. Every time I hear about anti-semitic things happening either in the US or overseas, it eats at me like a parasite. And when I hear about acts of anti-semitism in my own neighborhood, I feel like another year has been taken off my life. I'm surprised my hair hasn't completely turned gray from all this stress and anxiety. I recently posted something about all the anti-semitism going on and someone commented about how we're over-reacting as a whole and that it's really minor in comparison to the Holocaust. While I understand what she's getting at, things might be different where she lives vs. where I live. Pardon me for taking it seriously, but if we laugh this off and ignore that it's happening, we're not doing ourselves any favors. Another friend posted that we should have trained armed guards at all the shuls, even though I still think having police presence nearby would be enough. That's still better than someone standing around with an instant door locking mechanism on a string.

After hearing about a woman in our neighborhood being told to "go back to Auschwitz," I'm sometimes afraid to leave my house. This is especially the case on Shabbos when we're all walking to shul. We're out in the open and can't just get in our cars to escape potential danger and threats. I warned my husband about this the other day and he then made fun of me for worrying. I had to show him the post about the woman who was yelled at in order for him to believe that this is all really happening.  A few weeks ago there was a fire alarm at our shul and I was convinced it was part of some terrorist plot. I couldn't find my husband and older son anywhere and I thought they'd be the first to head to the playground. I felt so anxious until I found them. Hearing the alarm go off (and subsequently the sirens from the fire trucks) made me think of what people in Israel are dealing with constantly on a daily basis and how they have less time to get to a bomb shelter than we do to get out of a building. I'd be a complete goner if I had to hear sirens all the time and rush to safety with only seconds to spare, if that.

This has gotten to my head so much that I won't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. The other day, the exterminator came over to do our routine bug spraying around the house and he rang the bell first. I wasn't expecting him and didn't answer it. I didn't recognize the car when I looked out the window, so he could have been anyone for all I knew. I'm even wary about going to Kosher stores and restaurants right now. If a non-Kosher restaurant owner who displayed an Israeli flag is receiving death threats, how soon will these crazy anti-semites go after Kosher restaurants and potentially their customers. I know this is probably what they want...for such places to lose business. However, I'm not ready to put my life on the line until I know there's no threat to the safety of my family and myself. Maybe I'm letting my imagination get the best of me, but it's hard to trust that we're safe at all these days.

While social media is a blessing in a way (we're using it to spread the truth in the wake of such blatant lies being told in the regular media), it's also a curse because all I see these days are posts and articles and videos about what is happening in Israel and how the rest of the world is reacting, including in the US. I hear about Rabbis being murdered, swastikas painted on cars and shuls, anti-Israel rallies, Islamization of America, political rants, etc. It gets to be too much. Yes, I do take part in sharing this stuff too, but I read and watch what I share first. If it sounds too far-fetched, I don't share it. I recently read a quote in a novel that summed up this social media aggravation quite well...almost like it was a harbinger.

"Thanks to modern technology, folks who aren't qualified to make a decision about what's for dinner now have the ability to make snap judgments at a moment's notice, and what's worse, the ability to voice them without having to stand behind what they say. It gives a whole new meaning to the words 'witch hunt.'" (From The Sweet Spot by Stephanie Evanovich.)

I will admit that I've posted some articles because I liked what they said, before learning that some parts were contrived or re-written to suit today's situation (or that the wrong person was being quoted, for that matter). However, I didn't post such things to be hurtful as much as to put the truth out there (ironically enough).

While all of this is figuratively killing me, I don't know that any of what is going on is making me stronger. Less ignorant, perhaps. I feel like I get weaker and weaker as more hatred is displayed on my screen each day. Maybe this is making me more educated because I'm taking the time to read articles from reliable sources that explain what is going on. I also look for an acquaintance's AIPAC posts each day that have updates of what is happening in Israel. The one thing that does keep give me strength is knowing that we're all in this together as Jews. We're all using social media to warn each other about potential threats. We're all looking after each other in the US and our family and friends in Israel. I've even received some wonderful support from my non-Jewish friends and that also strengthens me because I realize that there are still good people around us. Seeing how many people have access to the truth is encouraging, but I hope I can persuade everyone to pass along the pieces of truth I am sharing so that as many people as possible could see it. The more who know what is really happening, the better the chances of this stopping once and for all. We didn't have the advantages of social media 70 years ago, which is why people are in denial that the Holocaust actually happened, even with the concrete proof right in front of their faces. The more we can spread the truth about what happened then and what is still happening now, the sooner we can say "never again" for good.

This article sums up a lot of what I'm feeling and thinking, as well. I encourage you to read it and ask questions. May this be the first article you pass along to your social circles. Most importantly, do your research before believing what the news media  is spouting forth. Thank you, if you've stuck with me this whole time (by either reading this article or by being supportive).