Super Special

Blog Project 3.0 has been going on for about two years, even though one of the group members changed after a few months. I love blogging with this group and I hope we can continue to inspire each other.

This week, Darwin Shrugged chose the topic: An unexpected outcome

First, read what everyone else had to share on this topic. I will be only posting links to posts on this same topic from my group. So check back if you were hoping to read their blogs and don't see a link yet.

Darwin Shrugged
Froggie
Moma Rock

You may recall my fan fiction piece for The Baby-Sitters Club that I wrote back in 2014. Well, I've finally decided to write another chapter. I'm sure you didn't expect that, right? ;) (I will try to incorporate the topic in this chapter though.) Definitely read the chapter at the link above (if you haven't already, or if you want a refresher), before continuing here. I've decided to go with the format of Super Specials, which featured each character's voice in first-person when it was their turn for a chapter.

~Mary Anne~

The first thought that crosses my mind when I hear Stacey’s news is that I wonder if Alex will be at the wedding.
The second thought that crosses my mind immediately afterward is “Why am I wondering about Alex?”
I ponder both thoughts as I sit on the train, headed back to the Connecticut suburbs and my full house that somehow feels empty.
I met Alex before I started dating Logan. We were hanging out at Sea City and then we introduced his friend Toby to Stacey, once she got over her crush on that arrogant lifeguard. Alex and I stayed in touch as pen pals for a little while, at least until I met Logan. Then I will admit to slacking off on the letters until they became non-existent. I wonder if Alex even cared that I stopped writing. It’s not like he ever called me. So even if he were at the wedding, I don’t know that he’d be happy to see me.
And that brings me back to my other issue. Why should I even care what he thinks? I’m supposed to be happily married to my childhood sweetheart. Well, at least according to my Facebook posts. We’ve been together longer than I can even keep track of anymore and have five kids to show for it. So why am I even entertaining the idea of seeing a guy I only hung out with for a few days and stayed in contact with for a few months? What’s wrong with me?
It all comes down to Logan. I barely even see him these days. He works late hours and then I’m asleep by the time he gets home and I don’t wake up until long after he’s left the next morning. I only see him when Tanya wakes me up in the middle of the night for a feeding, but he’s sleeping by then. We send short e-mails to each other regarding stuff around the house or something to do with the kids. That’s been about it lately. I don’t even remember the last time I actually heard his voice aside from his outgoing voicemail message. This all led me to tell Kristy that I think Logan is cheating on me. I’m sure I’m being ridiculous though. I don’t recall a time he was ever unfaithful, even when we went to separate colleges. We still spent every weekend together, alternating who did the traveling each time. I immediately feel guilty for accusing Logan of cheating and for entertaining thoughts of reuniting with a guy from my past.
Then the curiosity gets to be too much and I open my Facebook app, seeing if I can first find Toby’s profile, which will lead me to Alex’s. I’m sure Stacey is friends with Toby on Facebook if they’re engaged. I’d be surprised if she didn’t update her relationship status as soon as she told us her news at dinner. And that’s another thing. When she told us about her engagement, I felt a pang of jealousy. That’s not normal for someone who has been married as long as I have. It can’t be.
I easily find Toby’s profile and am about to search for Alex’s when a text message comes in from Jodie, my 13 year-old.

When R U getting home? Dad said he’s gonna be super late again.

I text back that I’m on my way and ask if everyone is asleep.

Max is playing Legos in his room and Tanya is fussing around in her crib. The other 2 R sleeping.

I still don’t know how I managed to have five kids. Jodie was such an easy baby that she made me think I could handle another. Kate was born almost two years later. Then came the twins, Rory and Max, a few years after that. And now Tanya, whose arrival in my life was rather unexpected. Thankfully, the others help with her a lot. Max is outnumbered as the only boy, since Rory is a girl too. He is content to hide out in his room and play Legos though.
But where was I? I go back to my Facebook app with Toby’s profile open and look up the name Alex. I’m a bit fuzzy on his last name, but I think it started with a K. Of course, none of them have a last name with a K. For all I know, he and Toby are no longer friends. Or Alex isn’t on social media. I put my phone back in my purse and stare out the window, while my thoughts lead back to Kristy’s subtle hint at us working together again. I never really gave it much thought over the years. Kristy has a certain management style that would take some getting used to again. I also don’t know how I’d swing childcare. Maybe when Tanya is older and starts preschool, I could make it work.
Then something inside me snaps. I gave up on having a career when I first became a mom. I never even considered going back to my job as an executive assistant to a restaurant franchise owner after Jodie was born. Once I went on maternity leave, I knew I could never leave her with someone else while I spent each day in the office. However, part of me was itching to do something productive aside from feeding and changing diapers or tackling mountains of laundry. Logan convinced me that I was doing an amazing job as Jodie’s mom and that childcare would cost more than my salary, so what was the point of even working? He was making enough for the two of us to live comfortably. However, I’m tired of just spending my days shuttling the kids to and from school and after-school activities or lessons. The Mommy and Me group I attend with Tanya is so boring and I have nothing in common with the other moms, aside from having babies around the same age.
I pull out my phone again and text Kristy.

Are you still interested in me helping you with Nanny Corp?

I almost immediately receive a text back.

Are you serious?!?

I could find a way to make it work. Are you open to me telecommuting for now?

Let’s talk tomorrow. I’ll call during lunch.

Sounds good. Great seeing you tonight.

Same. Let’s make this happen!

Satisfied with my text exchange, I then open Google and search for divorce lawyers. And I don’t even find myself getting emotional about the possibility.
What’s wrong with me?