Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I recently posted a link on Facebook to a “Sex and the City” prequel novel and a friend asked me if I was ready for the (sequel to the) movie to come out. A few years ago, when the original movie came out (based on the TV series), I was excited to see it, but felt I had no one with whom to see it in the theater. Sure, my husband would have gone with me, but it was expensive to get a sitter and we were watching everything on DVD anyway after our younger son was born. In the meantime, I was envious of my friends in Illinois who were all going to see it together. I would have totally had gotten a group together to see it, if I had been living there. When it eventually came out on DVD, my husband and I watched it together. (Nothing wrong with a husband who likes chick flicks, that’s for sure!) The whole movie (especially the part where the women are trying on clothes from Carrie's wardrobe) made me long for a “girlfriend.” What I’m talking about here is a female friendship where you can shop together, go out for mimosas, paint each other’s toenails and do other girly things that would only be seen on “Sex and the City” or read about in chick lit books.

I have plenty of “girlfriends” in Illinois and we still talk all the time. I was even on a bowling team with three of these friends and we took on “Sex and the City” character names as our “aliases” and even made T-shirts with the names on them. (I was Samantha.) I didn’t feel that I had “girlfriends” in NJ though. I had female friends, but the dynamic was different. I enjoyed talking to the female friends with whom I had become close and appreciated the connection we had made, but we didn’t get to hang out and do the girly things mentioned above (maybe they just weren’t interested or we just never had the time to pursue the "girlfriend" side of the friendship). There was just one time when I went out for ice cream with two female friends and we sat talking for hours and laughing. We never did that again though. I probably could have had the “girlfriend” connection with my older son’s early intervention speech therapist, but she lived further away. I also had a friend in NYC who liked doing girly stuff and we’d make plans to just hang out at Target. However, our schedules conflicted a lot and we hung out sporadically (usually with one or both of the kids in tow). While I connected well with my female boss in NJ, I was far more secular when it came to Jewish observance. I don’t think she even saw “Sex and the City” to begin with.

Around this time last year, I connected with a friend I met through my sister. She lived in NJ and we would go to movies together. Of course, my son was in tow, but we had fun hanging out and talking about girly things. She was also there the day we moved. Also before I moved, I got to see two of my favorite chick lit authors speak at different bookstores. The first time was to see Jennifer Weiner in NYC, but I couldn't find a "girlfriend" who was able to join me, so I went alone. However, the second time was to see Jane Green and I was invited by another woman with whom I had become friends over the past year through Freecycle and Facebook. It took until just before I was to move before we had a chance to hang out. Getting to see Jane Green together was a fun experience and I enjoyed talking to her afterward. I just wish we had become friends two years prior. We still are in touch online though.

When we moved to Maryland, I figured that if all else failed, I’d have “Jack” as a “girlfriend.” (He’s gay and fashion conscious, so it counts!) However, it turns out that there are a lot of girls in the area who want to do girly things. I feel like I could easily get a group together to see the new “Sex and the City” movie. I became friends with one girl because we both like to watch “Glee.” Also, my neighbor and I like to shop together, even if it’s at the thrift store (which is my favorite place now). I share and discuss chick lit novels with another friend here. I’ve gone to numerous girls’ nights out that were hosted by women in the community or through the local Chabad. I enjoy that I’m able to explore my girly side with my new friends and that I can also talk to them comfortably about less “frilly” topics. In Maryland, I have friendships that have the dynamic I shared with my boss and next door neighbor in NJ (where we could talk about Judaism, parenting and other topics we shared in common), while also getting to enjoy the "girlfriend" side of things. It’s a nice balance overall. I think I especially need this as the only girl in a house full of boys!

In this week's first "Friendship Friday" blog, I will be talking about a "girlfriend" whom I've known for over 15 years. Check back to see the whole story.