Magenta

Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, I picked the topic: What part of your personality is now extinct?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I based this week's topic off of an episode of "How I Met Your Mother," where they go to a museum for a party. At one point, Lily is talking to an exhibit that features the college version of Marshall, complete with his college personality. It was showing that this personality was now extinct, since he was married and working in the corporate world. It got me thinking about aspects of our personalities that are now extinct. There was another episode where they talked about a concept called "revertigo," where people turn into a different version of themselves to adapt to the friends that bring out that personality.

The hand is not "Thing." It belongs to a friend.

Before I started my freshman year of college, I became involved with a local Rocky Horror cast (a group that performs “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” in front of the screen). It was a way for me to let out my personality without fear of being judged or made fun of. I felt real acceptance there. Along those lines, “Rocky Horror” became an obsession of mine. I would play the music in my car all the time and sing along with it, as well as shout out the comebacks. Luckily my non-“Rocky Horror” friends tolerated it, even though they thought I was crazy. I also got a nickname...Magenta. After someone told me I looked like Magenta (the maid) with my wild curly hair, I knew it was a persona I had to take on. I joined the cast and got to play Magenta every so often. I even perfected the look and kept updating my costume to be even *more* similar. I even got my hair dyed red. Being Magenta gave me more confidence and I took that with me when I went to college. My Magenta personality went along with my college personality in some ways. I was less inhibited and flirted a lot more than I ever did at my high school speech tournaments. I was also more obnoxious and would laugh about the most random things. My nickname from "Rocky Horror" carried over and my friends would call me Magenta instead of Melissa. They even got their family members and friends to call me Magenta too. I took on the name for chat rooms and called my first website “Magenta’s Vunderful Vorld.” (She said her W’s as V’s.)

If I were to go to a museum of past personalities, I would definitely find a display for “Magenta.” It would be a combination of my “Rocky Horror” personality and my college personality. I’d be wearing a t-shirt and jeans, along with a flannel shirt and a pair of Chuckies (Chuck Taylor high tops) or imitation Birkenstocks , depending on the season. My hair would be long and my wild curls would be flowing. I’d probably have a hemp necklace on too. All my “Rocky Horror” videos (I only had a VCR back then), CDs, pictures, posters, etc. would be in a replica of my college dorm room. (I’d choose the single room in Watterson that I inhabited for two years.)

I definitely am different than I was in those days. While I do miss college and look back on it with fond memories, as soon as I graduated, I felt like I could never fit into that world again. I had gone back for visits and I just felt so out of place. The longer I had been away from school, the stranger it felt to come back for visits, regardless of some of my friends still being there and trying to keep things the way they were during our college days. I tried going to some “Rocky Horror” shows in my mid-20’s, but even that felt wrong to me. I would be so tired at a show that I would fall asleep halfway through. Even when I was asked to reprise my role of Magenta, it just felt foreign to me. The people at the show were so different and I only knew a few people who had stuck around over time. I just felt like all the new people there were posers. (I wonder if people felt that way about me when I first was going to shows a lot.) I eventually stopped going altogether. While I still like some things about “Rocky Horror,” most of it is just a bunch of fond memories, as well.

Now that I’ve been out of college for about 13 years and away from the “Rocky Horror” scene for about 10, I am a completely different person. I’m sure I shocked a few people from my past when I told them how I’m Modern Orthodox Jewish and married with three kids. That definitely was a far stretch from who I was back in those days. I don't really experience "revertigo" either. I had in the past, but I definitely am more true to my current personality while talking to friends who knew me during my college and "Rocky Horror" days. Sure, I'll bring up certain inside jokes with them, but I'm definitely more reserved in person than I used to be. I still continue to love some things I loved during my college days though... “Friends,” “Rent” and 90’s music. I also love “Animaniacs” and am glad I can share my love for them with my kids. However, “South Park” and V.C. Andrews novels can go into my museum display.

By the book

Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, Moma Rock picked the topic: Books, magazines, paper publications are all available for our perusal now online through the Internet, E-readers, etc. This poses a huge threat for our libraries and book stores. Where do you feel these technological advancements are headed? Will hard copies be a thing of the past? What are your feelings about our print future?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

The other day, I was sitting in the break room and reading during lunch. ("Lone Wolf" by Jodi Picoult, which is really interesting and well written.) Another girl was reading on her Kindle. Someone commented to her about her new piece of reading technology and I said that I was just old fashioned. I was then thinking about how I got to meet Jodi Picoult and how she signed my book. She couldn’t do that with a Kindle. (There is Kindlegraph, but I think it’s something you do over e-mail, not in person.) I also thought of when I was waiting to pick up a pizza last week and one of the girls working at the restaurant saw I was reading a Jodi Picoult novel and struck up a conversation. That wouldn’t be as obvious if I were holding a Kindle.

When I saw “Back to the Future 2,” I thought the technological advances were just speculation. However, people are able to have a video phone conversation, thanks to Skype. These days, people can practically manage their entire lives with a single handheld device. So why not manage their book collections too? I remember how Borders went out of business last year and I attribute it to them not selling an e-reader. Barnes and Noble has the Nook, which definitely keeps them in business. You could send a book right from their website to your e-reader. The same goes for Kindle books from Amazon. There is also the perk of free e-books being offered almost daily. I will admit that I have an e-reader, but it’s attached to my computer. It was a free download and I mainly use it to read e-books that authors send me to review, as well as benefit from the free e-books that I hear about. My Kindle for PC is starting to rival my regular bookshelves!

There are some downsides to an e-reader. I can’t use it on Shabbat, since it’s electronic. I’m afraid to use it in the bathtub (yes, I like to read while relaxing in a bath) because there’s a chance I could drop it in the water and lose all the memory on it. (If I get water on a printed book, it will dry.) Not that I’d get an actual handheld e-reader anyway, so it would be a bit silly to bring my laptop in the bath! There is always the chance of having some glitch where I’ll lose my e-book collection. It just doesn’t seem as permanent as having print books. If I want to loan someone an e-book, there’s a two week policy, whereas people who borrow my print books could take as much time as they needed. An e-book doesn’t have that fresh new book smell. I also love the weight of a book in my hands and seeing my progress as the pages are turned. There aren’t page numbers on my Kindle for PC…only percent values. Seeing I’m on page 300 of 400 is more exciting to me than seeing I have 40% to go in an e-book. The only upside I see is that I could read something with a controversial cover and people would be none the wiser. It would have been nice to have when I was reading "The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out" by Jen Tucker. :)

As for magazines, I don’t like to read them online. There’s something about getting a magazine in the mail and reading each part of the glossy pages inside. If I read something online, it’s usually just an article someone told me to check out. Oddly enough, the same rule does not apply for reading the news. We don’t get an actual newspaper at the house and instead just check everything online. CNN’s website is the most reliable source for news information. I’ll also check the Washington Post online and sometimes Yahoo! news articles.

If others share my mentality in regards to print books vs. e-readers, I think books will still be around in the future. I also don’t expect children to know how to use an e-reader, nor would I want them to. I love that my kids have a huge book collection and enjoy watching my older son as he reads an actual book. There’s something to be said for the innocence of children and their enjoyment of print books. I hope I can continue to instill a sense of excitement over a print book so that they’ll want to keep them around for when they someday have kids.

The Blog Project Year in Review

Remember the blog project I did in 2010 with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, Froggie picked the topic: Since it's our 52nd post: Write about your thoughts on the past year of this project.

(The other option was to rewrite a post we didn't feel 100% happy with the first time around. However, I haven't really felt that way about any of my posts.)

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

I want to thank Froggie for resurrecting the blog project in the first place. I’ve had a lot of fun working on the posts and I look forward to Thursdays, when I get to share them. I don’t post as much on my blog as I used to, so this is a good way to keep it current. I also look forward to learning what the next topic will be each week and then getting to write about it. The ladies in this group (including myself) have picked some fun, as well as thought-provoking topics.

Ironically, I actually did re-do a post, but it was one from my previous blog project. When Mom of Many picked the “theme song” topic, I had told her that we did it already, but to be fair, she wasn’t involved in the first blog project group. (Neither was Moma Rock.) So I went with the post and had even more fun writing it the second time around. I felt the song I chose was even more fitting to my personality. It inspired me to buy the CD with that song on it and I still think about that post when I listen to it.

Some of my favorite posts over the past year:
*The one where we had to share what flaw we’d wear on a T-shirt. Froggie got this idea from “Glee.”
*TV show, book or movie most like your life. I chose “Desperate Housewives” at the time, but am thinking how glad I am that it’s nothing like my life this season. Things can change a lot in a year…especially on a TV show!
*Dinner with anyone dead or alive, courtesy of Mom of Many. I enjoyed writing this post and thinking about my grandma and how she’d fit into my current lifestyle.
*Disney character most like myself. I learned more about how I was like Belle than just the book connection.
*Looking back on the past 10 years, thanks to Froggie. It was fun to reflect upon, especially after reading “What Alice Forgot.”
*Favorite Things. I enjoyed doing this one a lot and also reading everyone else’s responses. It seemed like people really got into this topic a lot and were creative about it too.
*Celebrity doppelgangers, thanks to Moma Rock. I knew mine for a while already, but still enjoyed writing about it.

There weren’t any topics I didn’t like, but I will admit that Moma Rock challenged me a lot to think outside my comfort zone. The first time was when she asked about a strange custom that is normal for me. It wasn’t something I thought about much, but I did come up with an idea and went with it. I still hold true to this idea! Then she asked us to be food critics for an imaginary restaurant. I have a hard time describing food to make it sound enticing, so this was definitely a challenge. When I had to write about plastic surgery, I revealed a lot about myself. (I’m not linking to that post here, but if you want to see it, you can do some research.) Talking about safety was such a broad topic that it was hard to narrow it down. I found a way, but felt I probably missed some things. Not enough to want to do over the post, but after reading other people’s posts, I felt like I went off course with the topic in some way. Froggie and Mom of Many also challenged me with some of their topics. (The only reason I’m not implicating myself is because I only picked topics I could easily write about, even if they were a challenge for others.) Back in September, Froggie gave us the topic of “Sexuality” and kept it open ended. I did not feel comfortable writing about it on a personal level, especially given who could read it from my neighborhood. So I went with the pop culture side of it. Mom of Many asked about toughness in females, which wasn’t something I thought about much either.

Overall, I am really enjoying this blog project and am excited to see where it will take us this coming year. I still have a huge list of topic ideas, even though others come to me and I abandon the idea I had for something that blew it out of the water. I hope to use more of my ideas for topics this year though. I can’t wait to hear what topics the other ladies have in store, as well. I’m sure they’ll be fun, unique and challenging.

Meltdown alert!

Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, Mom of Many picked the topic: When the going gets tough the tough ______? What do you do when things are out of control to make yourself feel better?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

When I first saw this topic, this song went through my head:

Billy Ocean – When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going
- Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

I wonder what ever happened to Billy Ocean. He had about three or four songs that all sounded similar.

Anyway, I also thought of a scene from "Moving Violations" where Dana (played by Bill Murray's brother, John) makes a new twist on the line and it's really funny. You can watch the scene here. (The line is said sometime around the 5:12 mark.)

Can you tell I'm buying some time here? When Mom of Many gave me this topic, I honestly didn't know what to talk about. I was stumped. I guess I don't consider anything I've gone through all that "tough," when I frame it in other perspectives. I think the toughest thing for me was coming to terms with my children having hearing loss. But then I put it in perspective of all the things that could go wrong (all sorts of health problems and disabilities I see or read about) and realized that it wasn't a big deal. I took what Hashem gave me and worked with it. If it meant taking my kids for hearing tests and speech therapy, so be it. As long as the end result was good, I'd do whatever it took to reach that goal. I think the toughest part of all this was anticipating my daughter's cochlear implant surgery. My stomach was in knots for days. However, she came through it, B"H, and now she's thriving with her device.

As far as when things are out of control, it's usually because I procrastinate until I can't procrastinate anymore. Like when it comes to holiday cooking. I'll wait till the last minute and then freak out at my husband that we have so much cooking to do. He's usually the one doing the cooking and has things under control. I'm the one panicking in the meantime. There are other times when there's a lot going on and no time to do it all in. I always feel like having a Jessie Spano meltdown (see the caffeine pill episode of "Saved by the Bell") and yelling "No time!!!" Sometimes I actually reach that point. I even choose to hide behind my myriad other activities and hope that the magic time fairies will help in some way. Or I just cry and/or throw a hissy fit that would rival those of my kids.

Other times, when the going gets tough for someone else, I'm the voice of reason. Recently, my husband became extremely mad over something and I was able to lay out the options for him, which helped him feel better. I tend to do this a lot when he has trouble seeing past the main problem. We balance each other out in that way. (He's calm when I'm freaking out and vice versa.) Even after one of my meltdowns, I end up thinking more rationally than I did before the stress all built up to an out of control level.

With Passover quickly approaching, I feel another meltdown coming on. I know we have time now to get everything ready, but I can't think straight about it when it's a few weeks away. So I know I'll wait till the last possible minute, even though my husband will have everything under control while I'm running around the house tearing my hair out. Wish us luck!

Eight Great Dates



Photo taken in Cleveland in 2002 or 2003. I just really like this one.


Since today is our eight year wedding anniversary, I thought I'd list eight of my favorite dates over the years.

1. The first time we went to Starved Rock State Park together in October 2002. There was this one point where we had to walk down this long spiral staircase and he started singing "Have You Met Miss Jones?" to the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon." It cracked me up for some reason. Afterward, we ate at Cheddar's (almost a year before I gave up cheeseburgers) and had their amazing onion straws.

2. The carriage ride through downtown Chicago and dinner at the Signature Room (top of the John Hancock building), March 2002. Both were surprises. He then re-enacted our date in March of 2005 for our one year anniversary

3. A four-day weekend in Vegas for our two year anniversary, March 2006.

4. Our first trip together to St. Joseph, Michigan. At night, we went to dinner and then got ice cream from Kilwin's and watched the sun set on the beach. July, 2002.

5. When I took him to see "Kate and Leopold" and then we had dinner at Ember's (a great restaurant where the servers sang Broadway and big band era tunes). During dinner, we came up with "Saved by the Bell" trivia. Afterward, we went to a karaoke place and I lost a bet on a billiards game, so he made me sing "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears. This was also in March, 2002. (He met my parents for the first time that evening, as well. We kind of ambushed them when they came back from their cruise.)

6. Seeing "In the Heights" (amazing seats, thanks to my mother-in-law) and dinner at Abigael's for our five year anniversary. March, 2009

7. Our first New Year's Eve together. We went to Olive Garden (I had this thing about Olive Garden being cursed for dating, but it wasn't this time around) and then to First Night Evanston, where we walked around to different places in downtown Evanston. There were concerts, dancing, etc. December, 2002.

8. Maccabeats concert and dinner (and of course, dessert) afterward. It was a nice change from the usual movie dates and we had a lot of fun. It reminded me of the things we did in our early stages of dating. June, 2011.

With three kids and difficulty finding sitters, we don't go out as often as we would like. When we do get out for a date night, we don't take the experience for granted! In the meantime, I'm also happy cuddling on the couch and watching our favorite shows or a movie we've been waiting to see. However, I look forward to planning more date nights (or afternoons) in the near future, including one to celebrate our anniversary!

Krazee....but Kreativ. :)

I received a nomination from Sara Steven, a.k.a. Moma Rock, for a Kreativ Blogger Award. I feel proud to receive this from her, as I love her blog and her insightful thoughts. It's also nice to receive an award for my personal blog, as I usually get them for my book blog. Definitely a refreshing change!

To pass along the message of what this award is about...
This award was established in 2008 by a Norwegian woman named Hulda Husfrue, to congratulate and motivate fellow bloggers on their work.

Before I go on, I must share the rules that were established way before I ever received this award.
1. You must thank the person who has given you the award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link the person who has nominated you for the award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
5. Nominate 7 other Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs to let them know they have been nominated.

The seven things about myself you may find interesting:
1. I'm incapable of taking care of anything that doesn't actually demand food. Needless to say, I don't have a green thumb either.
2. I haven't had a manicure or pedicure since around this time last year.
3. Two legendary music sensations I was obsessed with during my youth (and saw in concert) were Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.
4. The first time I ever went to Wrigley Field was when I was 25.
5. I can't play a musical instrument but I will sing whenever the mood strikes me.
6. I am able to read up to three books at the same time (not the exact same time though).
7. I may not be able to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans a year after having a baby, but my high school jacket from 18 years ago still fits just fine.

Here is my list of recipients:

Froggie's Flair
Parenting, a special kind of crazy
Luha Thoughts
Says Me, Says Mom
Manic Mommy
Desperate Madness
My Life in Challah

Matchmaker, matchmaker...

Remember the blog project I did last year with three other women? Well, Froggie decided to resurrect it with me and we each got to invite another friend to join us. She invited a mutual friend (someone I met through her) and I invited a friend whose blog I really enjoy reading. So now it's Froggie, Mom of Many, Moma Rock and Merrylandgirl. Hope you enjoy the topics that we'll be exploring!

This week, I picked the topic: What is something you did that changed someone else's life?

Before reading ahead, first see what everyone else had to say on this topic:
Froggie
Mom of Many
Moma Rock

When I was in college, I became friends with a girl who was initially roommates with a close friend of mine. At first, I thought we would have nothing to talk about, as she seemed pretty shy. Then she found out that I like "Degrassi High" and our friendship took off from there. We hung out a lot and e-mailed all the time. Around the time she graduated and moved out to the northern suburbs of Chicago, I was dealing with an annoying situation involving the guy I had been dating at the time. As a result of this situation, I would hang out on dating sites but not to actually find someone to date. Long story.... In any case, when I did start talking to someone nice, I'd choose to introduce them to one of my single friends. This friend in particular was the best candidate. She had her life together and was also attractive. I decided to invite one of the guys, with whom I thought she would be a good match, to attend my birthday party at the Neo Futurarium that summer. He showed up and even brought a friend with him. The intended guy and my friend seemed to hit it off that evening and went out on some dates after that. After a while, he wasn't paying as much attention to her, but his friend was. Soon, my friend and the intended guy's friend had become pretty serious, even moving in together. They were engaged after six months. I was very happy for them, and oddly enough, a bit jealous. I was still in the relationship with the guy whom the annoying situation revolved around. Seeing and/or hearing about my friend with this new guy made me realize that my relationship was dragging. (And yet I let it drag out for another year or so after this realization.)
Looking back on it, I feel I was a huge catalyst for my friend to meet her husband. I was thrilled to attend their wedding and very excited for them when they had their first child. Around that time, I had met my husband and was happy that they liked him too. However, they didn't attend our wedding. This was because my friend started giving me the brush off and never said why. I sometimes wonder if it was because I didn't fit into her life since I didn't have kids yet. While I'm still happy for her because she found her soul mate, I have to wonder if she would have found him if I hadn't forged the path for her. (The same way I may not have met my husband if certain catalysts weren't in place.) If they were meant to be together, then maybe fate would have still put them in the same room. Or she could have met someone else, but she'd have a completely different life as a result. I don't regret indirectly helping her find her true love, regardless of the fact that we haven't talked in almost nine years. Even though I have a lot of friends who would never shove me aside, I still find myself missing her a lot. Maybe it's the lack of closure or just knowing that we probably would still have a lot to talk about if we were still talking.
Side note: The guy I had originally intended for her stopped talking to me after she chose his friend over him. Sorry, but I'm not the one who took her for granted and let his friend capture her interest instead. He met someone else anyway. 

I did make a direct match for someone else around the same time as the indirect match. I had a close friend whom I met through the Rocky Horror cast I performed with. He was the first person I ever e-mailed when I got an e-mail account at school. We hung out whenever I was back in town for a school break. He was really nice and a great hugger, but I never felt attracted to him as more than a friend. He was about seven years older than me and that felt huge at the time. Once when he was complaining to me about not being able to attract the right girls (he was going after someone who was around my age, as well), I told him he should try dating someone closer to his age. Then I talked to a friend of mine whose sister was his age. We decided to pair them up, not knowing if it would work or not. Things worked out better than expected. They dated for quite a while before getting engaged. I felt quite proud at their wedding, as they introduced me as their matchmaker. It was a heady feeling to realize that I caused two people to meet and fall in love. It was amazing to be at their wedding and know I was a huge reason behind why everyone was there in the first place. (I wonder if my husband's friend felt that way at our wedding.) I don't hear from this friend all that much, but it doesn't really bother me either. I hear updates on his life from my friend, since she's now his sister-in-law and aunt to his kids (who are close in age to my sons).

I'm glad I was able to play a role in people meeting the loves of their lives, either directly or indirectly. I know it brought some great karma into my own life and even my matchmaker had his own taste of good karma shortly thereafter. While the matches I helped facilitate weren't for Jewish couples, I know it's a special mitzvah to make a shidduch. I hope to be able to help people do that someday. If it's not for my friends, then maybe for my kids and their friends in the future.